Chapter Inspiration: Demons - Imagine Dragons

"You know, if you take much longer I may come along and steal away the Commander." Dorian remarked, taking a seat at the table where the Inquisitor was eating her breakfast.

Vaelyn coughed, trying not to choke on the eggs she just stuffed into her mouth.

Cough. "What are-" Hack. "-you on about, Dorian" Her eyes watered as bits of egg aggravated her throat.

"Playing coy, are we?" Dorian winked at her.

"Truly, I've no idea what you're talking about." Her words muffled as she took a sip of juice from her goblet.

Dorian turned to raise a brow at Vaelyn, disbelief scribbled all over his face. "You can't be serious, surely."

"No, really, I've not a single clue as to what you're referring." She said adamantly, taking a bite of fruit.

"So, if I were to steal him...you wouldn't have a care in the world?" Dorian asked quizzically, brows furrowing as he tried to figure the Inquisitor out.

Vaelyn snorted as she took another sip from her cup, juice nearly shooting out her nose. "Cullen is as straight as the blade of his sword, the same blade that he would not hesitate to cut you down with if you ever attempted it." She snickered.

"You may have a point," he chuckled. "You really don't realize do you?"

"Realize what?" She asked dumbly, shooting him a curious glance.

"The way he looks at you when you're running around doing inquisitorial things. Haven't you noticed that amorous sparkle he gets in his eyes when you go to speak to him?"

Amorous? Vaelyn narrowed her eyes, "what do you mean?"

"Perhaps it's closer to admiration," Dorian corrected. "When you come around he perks up like a really happy puppy. It's absolutely sickening." He laughed, quite amused with himself.

"Glad you think so highly of the Commander, and your ridiculous hatred of dogs is out of control."

"I assure you, my lady, my hatred is well placed." Stealing a piece of fruit off her plate, Dorian stood and bowed. "I'll not bother you further, it's already late in the morning and I'm in need of a stiff drink."

Vaelyn shook her head in amusement, Dorian sure had a way with keeping things interesting when he was around. His words swam around in her mind though, drumming up past occurrences, uncertain if his statements were credible. In the further reaches of her mind, Vaelyn was trying to convince herself that maybe they were true.

When it came to her own feelings towards Cullen, she was doubtless.

Vaelyn shook the thoughts from her mind, determined to get some work done before having to return to the field again. She quickly finished her breakfast and set out on her errands.

The first half of the morning felt unproductive.

The masons were complaining the remainder of the work that needed to be done, to fully restore Skyhold to its former magnificence, would not be completed on account of the foundations being insecure. They feared that micro fractures could cause half the keep to fall into itself, and down the mountain side.

Vaelyn wasted an hour arguing with the masons that having a massive hole in the prison was not a good thing, no matter what the prisoners confined in the cells had done. It took another hour to figure out the best way to close up the gaping maw, and to refurbish unusable cells. Thankfully, convincing them to deal with other smaller repairs around the keep was a breeze.

She could already feel a migraine coming on when it was time to visit Horsemaster Dennet. He ripped into her like a scavenger to a corpse. The Dracolisk — that some Inquisition scouts discovered during reconnaissance and returned to Skyhold — seemed to have it out for the old man, much to Vaelyn's amusement. Under the premise of 'bothering the horses', she discovered that the creature had become quite fond of Dennet, much to his protests.

Vaelyn made sure to stop by the stall where the Dracolisk was kept, sneaking her a bit of meat, rubbing the soft, sandy colored underside of the creatures neck; she was absolutely loyal to Vaelyn despite her fascination with the Horsemaster.

Satisfied her dealings at the stables were settled, Vaelyn left to find the requisitions officer, Dennet not allowing her to leave without the parchment scribbled with the stables needs.

By mid-day, Vaelyn had completed all the tasks she had written down mentally, some of them she ended up adding along the way; such as telling Cole to stop tormenting people. She now found her self on the terrace that overlooked the garden, and some of the courtyard; the same courtyard that was currently filled with rehabilitating soldiers whom we're injured in action. Cullen wandered around pairs of soldiers, observing them and correcting when needed.

Vaelyn leaned against the wall and allowed her mind to drift back to earlier in the morning, to what Dorian had said, and to thoughts o f Cullen. Her opinion of the Commander slowly morphed over these many days, since their arrival at Skyhold; now finding herself yearning for his touch, craving his attention, dreaming of the day that their relationship would become something less platonic. Oh how she wished to steal a kiss from those lips she adored so much.

She scowled, somewhat embarrassed at her thoughts. She was acting like a silly love struck admirer.

Vaelyn observed Cullen safely from her perch, he seemed tired lately; the bags under his eyes were starting to make themselves known. His skin looked pallid, and she was unsure, but it seemed he was looking a bit on the gaunt side. Days like these were rare, days when the Inquisition wasn't running around like a chicken with its head cut off. While yes, they had been very busy lately, what with gathering as much power as they could scrape together, it wasn't enough to cause what she saw in Cullen now.

"Admiring the Commander now, are we?" Leliana commented, startling Vaelyn out of her audit of Cullen.

"I-I...uhh. No! why would I be doing that?" She stammered, quickly tearing her gaze away from the courtyard.

Leliana held the Inquisitor with a knowing look, but said nothing more on the matter. "He looks a bit thin, don't you think?"

"I have noticed it—there's nothing wrong is there?" Vaelyn asked, curiously. Dread pooled in the pit of her stomach.

The nightingale looked down into the courtyard now, a sad look in her eyes. She followed Leliana's line of sight, falling upon Cassandra leaning back against a wall, scrutinizing Cullen as his training session went on.

What could Cassandra's role be in all this?

The clue was a subtle one, but before Vaelyn could pry into the mystery, Leliana was no longer standing next to her. She let her stare drift back, now inspecting the Seeker; Cassandra's expression remained passive, appearing aloof to any on looker. When she went from passive to disapproval Vaelyn's focus changed, there was...pain? Or something of the sort emanating from Cullen. The soldiers he dismissed seemed to avoid him, they too studying his strange reaction carefully.

The sudden end to their training session had them curious. It must have been what Cassandra was irritated about, but why?

The Seeker marched right over to Cullen, giving him a piece of her mind. Their voices were raised, almost yelling, Vaelyn couldn't hear what they were speaking about. She never was good at reading lips. The Commander was having none of her tongue lashing though, he stormed off leaving Cassandra in the courtyard seething.

The next morning found Vaelyn with nothing useful to do, aside from aimlessly wandering around. Days when she had no real work to be done around the citadel, she longed to be out in the field helping people, fighting off Corypheus and his forces. There even seemed to be a calm in enemy activity, the scout reports all came back with no new information on enemy movements. She doubted that they were all on vacation somewhere.

Once again, she was up on the terrace that looked down into the garden, and partially into the courtyard. The sun was just peaking over the walls, shedding light onto the life within and chasing away the shadows. Two figures sitting at a table under the gazebo caught her attention as she rested against the stone railing.

Cullen and Dorian were battling it out in a game of chess, it was a bit early for them to be going at it, Vaelyn noted. The glamorous mage always insisted on his beauty sleep, so it was surprising to her that Dorian was up and awake so early. Cullen on the other hand, always seemed to be up this early, she wondered briefly if he ever slept at all, especially now since the Inquisition was able to get a moment of reprieve. No one really seemed to rest these days.

Movement from the gazebo recaptured her attention — Dorian stood up and stretched upwards, while Cullen reset the board for a fresh game. He could barely hear the distant murmurs of whatever sort of conversation they had, but it looked like it was serious. The mage's face fell into one of concern, it was difficult to see from her vantage point. Cullen's shoulders slumped as he leaned back into his chair, rubbing his face, trying to hide himself behind his gloved hand.

Cullen only rubbed his face like when he was wrong or if he'd misspoken. His weary posture had her more concerned, paired with the way he had looked yesterday during his session with the rehabilitating soldiers, there was something eating away at him. Chipping him away bit by bit.

She was going to get to the bottom of this, one way or another.

Vaelyn didn't see Cullen for the rest of the day, not even showing up to the quick council session that was held on account of some information that was received concerning the Lord Seeker's whereabouts.

As the week progressed, Vaelyn saw less and less of Cullen; to the extent where she hadn't see him at all. She even went out her way to hunt for him on several occasions to make sure he was even still alive. Vaelyn was becoming more distressed as each day passed.

By the time she decided to go straight to the person who might know — Cassandra — Vaelyn's mood had become foul enough to rival that of the most fearsome high dragon. She had no patience to deal with any person or thing that felt brave enough to stand in her way. No one had a pressing desire to interrupt the Inquisitor as she stalked her way down from the keep, searching for the Seeker.

Vaelyn nearly had two soldiers shaking in their boots, praying to the Maker before she finally located Cassandra. She threw the door to the forge open harshly, startling the smiths and causing the Seeker to whirl around, eyes narrowed.

"Where is he?" Vaelyn demanded coolly.

"Of whom are we speaking?"

The inquisitor took several longs strides to stand before Cassandra, mere inches away. "Cullen. Where is he?"

The Seeker took a brief moment to study Vaelyn, her strange behavior was curious. "Why does it matter?"

"It matters because there is something going on, and I have a feeling that you're apart of it!" She growled accusingly.

Cassandra pressed her lips into a firm line and countered pointedly."What makes you think I have anything to do with what you're accusing me of, Inquisitor?"

"I saw you not long ago, in the courtyard with Cullen, you didn't seem very thrilled with him."

Surely the Herald was not referring to the incident earlier in the week, she thought to herself. She was merely doing the job she was tasked with; but of course Vaelyn would know nothing of the arrangement between Cassandra and Cullen.

How could she have when it was made shortly after Cullen was given a position within the ranks of the soon to be inquisition. Cassandra was certain that the outburst she was experiencing from the Herald now, was one of born of concern, she would have to explain herself lest the situation came to blows; such actions were not easily brushed away when dealing with the Inquisitor.

"You are right of course," Cassandra started, rubbing at her temples with a tired sigh. "I was disappointed in the Commander. You must understand that my disappointment was well founded." Before Vaelyn could open her mouth the Seeker shot a hand up to interrupt her next tirade.

"I shouldn't be telling you this — as it is not my business to share such information — after the atrocity in Kirkwall had been dealt with, by the Champion and company side by side the templars, I recruited some of the remnants of the uprising; Commander Cullen was one of those people. He had just assumed the rank of Knight-Commander, trying to establish some amount of sanity in the city, when I found him. After all that he had been through up to that point, he was determined to leave the life that had caused him so much grief in the first place." She paused.

Vaelyn's anger slowly began to recede as she listened to Cassandra's story, feeling a little embarrassed that she'd become so furious without knowing what was really happening.

"When Cullen accepted my offer, he insisted that he no longer wished to be associated with the order. He began to wean himself off lyrium, slowly at the start, taking less and less as time went on. He has stopped taking it entirely."

The Inquisitor was finding it difficult to form sentences that didn't make her sound like a worried, jealous idiot. "I-I didn't...So, that morning in the courtyard...?"

"He was allowing the lyrium withdrawal to crawl under his skin. It was my responsibility to set him straight." Cassandra relaxed more now, knowing that Vaelyn wasn't ready to run her through with a sharp object. "He, like many templars, do not show their suffering in regards to lyrium addiction. Cullen insists that he is not strong enough to free himself of those chains, however. He asked me to keep an eye on him. That is all, Inquisitor."

Vaelyn took a moment to soak it all in, placing the puzzle pieces in their spots, making sure nothing else was missing. She'd of never guessed that Cullen was going through such hardship. In a way she was hurt that he didn't confide in her the way she had in him on many occasions in the past. "Why wasn't I informed of the matter?"

"It had little to do with anyone else." Cassandra said firmly, but her expression softened, "when the Commander grew closer to you, he begged me not to tell you."

Vaelyn wanted to argue, Cassandra knew, she saw it in her eyes; and if she was in the same position as the Inquisitor she would want to protest as well. She was not good with comforting others, but she tried anyway. "I know that it may seem like you were slighted in some way, but trust me when I say that the Commander's faith in my abilities was not misplaced, nor should you feel as though it was."

Vaelyn resisted the urge to hug Cassandra then; she always found it hard to talk to the Seeker in this manner. It was refreshing, and it felt nice, and she would endeavor to talk with the other woman more openly. "Will he be...alright?"

"I do not know. When last we spoke he was not convinced that he'd be able to continue to resist the philter. I have not seen him since." Cassandra spoke honestly.

"You haven't bothered to check up on him?" Vaelyn scowled.

The Seeker's eyes flashed but she remained passive, "It's not like I have not checked in on him, he hates it when I hover."

He definitely hated it when she hovered, he avoided her like the plague.

"Since you know everything now, I believe that if anything could strengthen his resolve on the matter, it's you."

Vaelyn pushed the door slowly, peering onto the darkness of Cullen's office, the only light coming in from the window behind his desk. It was silent, nothing seemed out of place as far as she could tell, Cullen didn't seem to be present. She ventured on into the room, latching the door shut behind her; the light from the window was poor at best, there was a crunch and then she very nearly tripped over a wooden box.

"Shit!" Vaelyn stood stock-still, listening for any movement on the floor above. When she heard nothing, she made her way over to the ladder, taking care not to trip over anything else that maybe lying in wait for her feet.

The wood of the ladder groaned as she made her ascent, its rebelliousness was keen on giving her away.

Fortunately there were no signs that she had been noticed. Upon reaching the top, she allowed herself to peek over the top of the floor. The upper room was as dark as the floor below, but the window up here was larger and let in more light. From where she was, Vaelyn spotted a battered trunk set underneath the window, the silly cloak sitting on top, all his armor piled unceremoniously next to it, there was a bedside table sitting next to the bed.

There on the bed a figure lay sleeping.

Cullen.

Vaelyn heaved her self up onto second floor, moving closer and closer. Sudden shift of the sheets and distressed noises of a nightmare escaping his mouth had her stone still with bated breath, waiting for him to notice that he was no longer the only one in his quarters.

When that moment never came to pass, she let out a shaky breath and crept the rest of the distance to the edge of the bed.

Cullen's shirt was soaked with sweat, his face was contorted, pained; his breathing was uneasy. The sheets were tangled around his body, evidence of a fitful sleep. Vaelyn sat down next to his prone form, eyes roaming over him, noticing the bags under his eyes had grown darker, his skin still so pale and sickly. Her heart ached to hold him close, to heal the wounds of his own heart.

His body began to shiver violently, another night terror set upon him relentlessly, and she tried to wake him, shifting to her knees leaning over him, putting her hands on his shoulders and then shaking him as hard as she dared to. None of her attempts to rouse him seemed to be having an effect; there was one thing she hadn't thought of, though it had been a very long time since she had to wake her own brother from a similar state. Since this was Cullen that now lay before her and not her brother, Vaelyn was a little nervous, but she had to do something for the Commander's sake.

Consequences be damned!

Vaelyn quickly pulled her boots off and tossed them to the floor, crawling back up to Cullen just as he rolled to his side, groaning unintelligible babble, unconsciously making her job a bit easier. Vaelyn settled herself beside him, pulling his tense body towards her, arranging them out of a potential uncomfortable position, and tucked his head underneath hers; his uneasy breaths puffing into the skin of her neck.

When the spasms of terror ceased, she continued to hold onto him for dear life.

She drifted off to sleep.

Cullen felt unusually calm.

There was a welcoming warmth pressed into his body, and he could hear the calm, steady heart beat of another. He was still groggy, but he was quite certain that when he threw himself into the solace of his bed, there had been no other person there with him.

Maker's breath! He snapped to full alertness, carefully trying to untangle himself from the sheets that were intent on keeping him bound in his bed, and the intruder that lay sleeping.

Now able to sit up properly, Cullen wiped the remainder of sleep from his eyes, focusing his gaze down upon the invader. Night had fallen over their little piece of the world, and he found it difficult to put a name to the shadow, as the room was now pitch black. So he did the next best thing, shook them awake.

"Whaassit?" A feminine voice grumbled, slapping away the offending hands.

He recognized that voice, but poked the mass for good measure.

"Maferath's balls! Would you knock it off..." She growled sleepily.

"Vaelyn?!" He whispered heatedly. "What in the nine hells are doing here?"

"Worried." She breathed out simply, making no move to get up.

Cullen mouth gaped for a moment and he stared down, glaring into the darkness, grateful that the darkness had hid him as well. He wanted to be angry at her for such a breach of privacy, but could not find the strength inside of himself to do so.

"What could you have possibly been worried about that's made you sneak into my bed?" He inquired, still angry, poking her again.

Vaelyn wiggled away from the attacking appendage and grumbled, "You looked like a corpse...cornered Cassandra."

An iceberg plummeted into his gut at her admission. She knew. Cassandra had wavered, and now Vaelyn knew. Cullen began to panic, he had no desire to allow anyone, much less the Inquisitor to see him in such a weakened state. As much as he hated to admit it, he was vulnerable and now...

The springs in the bed creaked as Vaelyn pulled her self up off the bed into a sitting position. He felt a hand rest gently upon his shoulder, it slid up his neck, and cupped his cheek lightly and her thumb caressed his skin tenderly.

"Are you angry with me?" She addressed him quietly, more awake than she had been only moments ago.

"I-I..." No. He swallowed thickly. "No."

"Yet, you kept this from me." She replied, voice heavy with morose. "Were you embarrassed by the thought of me knowing?"

Again no. It took Cullen a long moment to find the words to explain himself to her. "I-I was afraid that you'd think less of me, for abandoning the order, for running away. I am weak." His voice cracked and he tried to pull away from her, but she moved to hook her fingers behind his neck and held him there.

"Cullen," Vaelyn said softly, "How could I ever think any less of you, for all that you have done for me and for the Inquisition. For yourself."

He found himself speechless in her presence.

"You don't deserve to wallow in self-pity and doubt. You are strong—so very strong. So brave. You don't give yourself enough credit." She whispered kindly, he could hear the smile in her voice.

Cullen choked back a sob. He would not break down, not in front of her, he vowed vehemently.

Vaelyn leaned in and pressed her forehead against his, her free hand gripping his shoulder to steady herself. "Are you listening to me, Cullen?" She asked.

He shook his head.

"You are strong enough to break these lyrium chains, and to move on from what ever dark past that holds you back." She encouraged. "Never. Ever. Let yourself think otherwise."

Her words held so much truth in them, he could do nothing but pull Vaelyn into his chest, hugging her as tightly as he dared, sobbing many years worth of concealed sorrow into her shoulder now. And she held him, and held him until he had no more strength to weep.

"Better?" Vaelyn asked after a long while, pulling back away from him.

"I'm not sure." He answered, his voice hoarse.

Vaelyn tugged him down onto the bed, situating them again into a similar position they had been in earlier. "Maybe you'll be more sure once you've had a proper nights rest." Vaelyn chuckled, pressing her lips into his mussed hair.

He was so exhausted, and the warmth seeping into his weary bones had him falling into the depths of a dreamless sleep, the likes of which he hadn't seen since his childhood.

Cullen knew then that he had fallen for her.

Notes-

Yep, this is a few days later than I wanted, but between distractions and the constant, annoying cough I've had, writing ended up being a bit arduous.

Any who. Barring all the trials and tribulations I had writing this, I thought it turned out pretty well. I especially enjoyed writing the later portions of this chapter.

And if you haven't been checking out the song titles I've been posting up at the top, I highly recommend it. Music is a big big inspiration to my writing process. They are all safe to listen to!