Guys, I am so sorry I haven't updated this story in so long! My laptop crashed and it took a while for me to get it to a shop to be repaired. But it's fixed, so expect updates on a regular basis!
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Don't forget to drop a review and let me know what you thought!
Gwynne hadn't seen Jon since the incident with Lady Stark. It had been hours now since she had seen him, she realized as she pushed the peas in her plate around. Truth be told, she didn't even have an appetite. How could she sit with a family she didn't deserve to be with, share laughs with them and break her fast amongst them when Jon, a true part of the family, hadn't even been invited to the dinning hall? She loved the Starks more than anything else, but she didn't deserve them. She never had. Jon, on the other hand...
She felt a tight knot twist in her stomach at the thought of him, causing her to loosen her grip on her fork and drop it against her plate. Over the laughter and conversations, it had created an echo that seemed to attract everyone's attention to her. She didn't dare to look up from her plate, but she could feel everyone's eyes on her.
"Gwynne, are you alright?" The concern in Cat's voice was enough to twist the knot in Gwynne's stomach even tighter. She had never sounded half as concerned about Jon, even when he had gotten hurt.
"I'm sorry, I just don't feel that well."
"Are you getting ill? Should I call someone to take a look at you?"
Gwynne finally looked at Cat and forced a smile of reassurance. "I think I'm okay, thank you. I just don't really feel like eating right now. I'm scared if I eat anymore I won't be able to keep it down. Would it be okay if I was excused?"
Cat nodded with a concerned face. "Of course. Go to your bedchamber. Maybe your body is just telling you it needs to relax. We'll keep food for you in the kitchen if you're hungry later."
"Thank you, my Lady." Gwynne excused herself and quickly exited the dinning hall.
She made her way throughout the castle, heading for Jon's bedchamber. She knew all of Jon's hiding places throughout Winterfell and just beyond it's great walls, but she knew that more often than not there was nowhere else he wanted to be but in his bedchamber by himself. She could recount the dozens of times she had felt the same way as him. Sometimes all a person needed was to be alone with their thoughts.
She should have left him, but she couldn't. She paused at his door, staring at the thick wood in front of her. Would he want her to leave? Would he even bother to answer her when she knocked? She finally decided to simply walk through the door without giving him a chance to reject her. Taking in a deep breath she held onto the doorknob and pushed the door open.
Jon was bending over his bed, his arms busy at work with something Gwynne couldn't see. Even with his back facing her, he had somehow known it was her that had entered. "What do you want, Gwynne?"
She wanted to ask how he had known it was her but decided there were more important questions to be asked than that. "Are you okay?"
He kept his back to her as he answered. "I'm fine."
Gwynne closed the door silently behind her. She knew the Starks would be at dinner for quite some time, but still didn't want to take a chance of anyone finding her in Jon's bedchamber. As much as both Ned and Cat understood her friendship with both Jon and Robb, they were still never thrilled to find her in one of their bedchambers. Or the other way around.
She crossed the room, standing behind Jon. "I haven't seen you since this morning." Her voice was soft, almost a whisper, as she spoke to him.
"I've been busy." He still refused to turn and look at her.
Gwynne let out a sharp breath and walked to his side, turning her body to face his. It was then that she saw what he had been doing. He was...packing his clothes?
"Jon, what are you doing?" She asked the question she had already known the answer to. How many times had he confided in her that one day he was going to leave Winterfell? She had lost count over the years. But never once did she truly believe he would do it. Lady Stark despised him, but his brothers and sisters loved him more than anything. Especially Robb and Arya. Gwynne had always thought they would be the reasons he would stay in Winterfell.
"I'm leaving." He told her simply, refusing to make eye contact with her.
He had said it countless times but she had never actually witness him preparing for such a thing. Annoyed, Gwynne reached out and grabbed a steady hold of Jon's wrist. Almost instantly he froze.
"You're not going anywhere, Jon. What am I supposed to tell Robb when he returns? That his best friend simply got on a horse and left? How am I supposed to explain to Arya that you've left her alone?" She tried her best to reason with him. She wasn't sure if it would work, but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. She knew how deeply Jon cared for both Robb and Arya.
"Robb will understand. And Arya has Robb to look after her."
"And me? What about me, Jon?"
He scoffed. "You? You'll be fine. You have Robb."
Something about the way he had said Robb's name sent a serge of irritation through Gwynne's body. She snatched her hand away from Jon's wrist and crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive stance. "Excuse me?"
Even though he spoke to her, he still refused to look at her. Instead, he continued to pack his belongings. "I heard what you said to the wildling. You're Robb's betrothed, right? I'm sure you'll be just fine without me here to interfere with your plans."
Her irritation was quick to turn into rage. "What was I supposed to say, Jon? That I'm an orphan that Lord Eddard Stark adopted because he felt guilt over my father's passing? Do you think that would have struck any fear into them? Do you think they would have left me alone if I had told them that?"
Jon refused to look at her. "That's what you are, aren't you? Or did Robb propose to you in my absence?"
She felt tears of anger burn at her eyes. She wanted to slap him, to hurt him the way his words had hurt her. But she knew she could never do that. No matter what he did, no matter what he said to her, she cared about him far too much. Sometimes she feared she cared about him in a way she wasn't supposed to. Instead, she took a step away from him.
She bit her bottom lip to try and ward the tears off for as long as she could. "I've always been there for you, Jon. Robb and I both. I've always defended to you the best of my abilities and I would sooner die than let anything happen to you. But if you plan to leave, than leave."
Jon opened his mouth to speak but Gwynne had already left his side and crossed the room. A sigh slipped through his lips when he heard the door slam behind her as she exited.
Let her go, Jon. You can't have her. It's better this way. She's meant to be with Robb. Don't interfere with what the Gods have decided.
He listened to the voice in the back of his mind and continued packing. In a few hours it would be nightfall. He would wait for Lady Stark to retire for the night and he would make his way out of the castle. He would take his horse and leave Winterfell. And he would never look back.
She wasn't stupid and she definitely wasn't going to let him leave Winterfell. Not alone, anyway. She had used her sweet smile and soft voice to coax a travel outfit from one of the shop owners. She promised him that one day she would pay him back the cost of her new clothes, even though she wasn't completely sure she would ever be able to. Truthfully, at this point she didn't know if she'd come back to Winterfell to fulfil her promise, but he had taken her at her word and given her what she needed. He had also assured her that not a word would be spoken to another soul, but she wasn't convinced he would keep it.
No matter. You'll be gone and the Lord and Lady of Winterfell won't be able to punish you.
Gwynne had packed and readied her horse for a long travel. She had no idea how long it would take for her to change Jon's mind, but she knew that if she didn't try it would be a regret she would carry with her until her dying day. Just outside of the Winterfell gates is where she decided to wait for him. If he was truly serious about leaving, he would unsuspectingly gallop right past her. Aside from following him, she didn't have much else planned. She would stay far enough behind him in an attempt to hide the sound of her horse. And wherever he went, she would follow.
It was selfish to go to such lengths to coax him to stay in Winterfell, she knew that. But she couldn't imagine life without him there. And she knew, no matter how much he denied it, he felt the same way. He loved his siblings more than anything. If he left, chances are he would never be able to see them again. She knew him well enough to know that that was not something he wanted.
The sound of a horse galloping past her snapped her out of her thoughts and quickly brought her back to reality. As the sound approached, she waiting patiently to see the rider. Her grip on the reigns tightened as she prepared herself to kick her horse forward. Sure enough after a few moments she saw Jon pass her, his horse running at lightning speed.
She waited a few moments before giving her horse a swift kick, sending him forward and after Jon. She had spent hours thinking of how she would follow him without him noticing. Keeping a distance between them was important, which she had to keep reminding herself of. They weren't racing to see which horse would run faster, this was her trying to stay under his radar long enough to follow him to his next destination.
She had been able to keep a reasonable distance between herself and Jon for some time, but when he took a turn under the trees, she feared for the worst. It was next to impossible to see. The thick branches and leaves above had made her surroundings nearly pitch black. Gwynne leaned forward and spoke to her horse, urging him to go forward. He listened to her until he reached a certain point.
She was nearly thrown off him when he came to an abrupt stop, throwing himself back to stand on his hind legs. Gwynne felt a wave of panic sweep through her. She looked around desperately, trying to identify which part of the woods she had entered. She found herself consumed with sheer panic when she could neither see her surroundings decently and realize where she was.
It felt as though she had been following him for at least an hour or two. And truly, she had never been this far outside of Winterfell. Her breath became short and ragged when she realized she was lost. She was lost in the middle of the woods in an unfamiliar area with no protection. Her throat closed in on her as her horse grew more and more uneasy.
Gwynne patted him gently, trying to soothe him enough to calm him down. She leaned forward again and spoke comforting words into his twitching ear.
"Don't worry. We're not too far gone. We can find our way back home." She assured him in a whispered voice.
"You should have never left home in the first place. Especially not at this time of the night."
Gwynne gasped and spun her head around to see a figure shrouded in darkness behind her. She recognized the voice immediately, but the sudden voice behind her had still terrified her, even if only for a second. She turned her horse around as Jon stepped out of the shadows, leading his horse by his reigns.
"I could say the same for you, Jon." She told him as she climbed off the saddle of her horse.
"Why did you follow me out here? You shouldn't have. If anyone realizes you're gone, do you have any idea how much trouble you'll be in?"
Gwynne waited until her horse had become steady again before letting go of his reigns. She closed the distance between herself and Jon and tilted her head up to look into his saddened eyes. "I could say the same for you, Jon. Did you tell anyone you were leaving?"
"No one would worry about me leaving, Gwynne. They will worry about you. Especially considering what has happened to you in the past when you sneak away."
"I'm not sneaking away, Jon. I'm leaving with you."
"Please go back, Gwynne." Jon paused for a moment before finishing his thought. "Think of what Robb would go through if he came back to find you missing."
She had loved Robb since she was a child, that was true. Jon had known of her infatuation with his brother from the moment she had began to speak to him. And a part of her had hung onto those feelings. But she had also developed feelings for Ned Stark's bastard. Feelings that were getting harder and harder to ignore with each passing day. "Please, Jon, don't do this. I just want you to come back home."
Jon was silent. Winterfell wasn't his home. The only things that made it bearable was Robb and Gwynne. But his mind was set. And Winterfell wasn't his final destination. "I'm leaving, Gwynne."
"Good. Then I'm leaving with you."
"Gwynne, you can't-"
She silenced him when she reached up to cup his cheeks in her gloved hands. She smiled slightly as she stared up into his clear eyes. "I can. And I will. You're not leaving me, Jon. Not if I have anything to say about it, at least."
For a few moments, his hands were stiff by his side. Though she was wearing gloves he could feel the warmth of her skin radiating through the fabric. What he would do to take those gloves off and feel her skin pressed against his. She wasn't meant to be his, but who said she couldn't be his now? He would kill a thousand men if it meant that he could spend a single night with her. And by the Gods, if it would ever come to that, he would.
Her warmth took over him and all he could do was raise his hands so they were resting against her hips. His fingertips dug into her flesh as he pulled her body against his. She had been his first kiss, and he had been hers. No matter of the future she had with Robb, she would have always been his first in someway.
Besides Robb, Jon had never known someone who would give up anything to keep him in their life. And even with Robb, he had let his brother be left behind while he went off hunting. He could have fought for Jon to accompany them, but he didn't. Instead, Gwynne was willing to sacrifice everything she had ever come to love to be with him.
His lips had barely pressed against hers when Jon heard a noise suddenly erupt around them. He quickly pulled himself away from Gwynne, maintaining a strong grip on her waist. He listened for another moment before he realized what was happening.
"Run. Hide."
Gwynne looked confused as she stared back at him. "What? What are you talking about?"
"Someone's here. Hide." He squeezed his fingertips into her skin and pushed her away from him as he reached for his sword and examined his surroundings.
Confused and scared, Gwynne did as Jon had told her. Leaving her horse, she found a gathering of bushes and jumped over them to conceal herself behind them. She watched Jon as he spun around, trying desperately to find the source of the sound.
It took a few moments, but three men stepped forward from the darkness and eyed Jon with an interest.
"And what do we have here? A traveller?"