"What are you doing out here at this time?" Robb was surprised to see Gwynne dressed and in the stable when he went to saddle his horse. He had grown so accustomed to seeing her in a gown and jewels that he had forgotten what she looked like in simple clothes. He wasn't sure where she had gotten them from, but he could see her slim frame a lot clearer in them. And for that, he was thankful.
He remembered his dream and silently cursed himself as he began to stiffen again. He found himself wishing she was his. If she was, nothing and no one would stop him from tearing her clothes off and taking her right there in the stable.
Gwynne tucked stray hair behind her ear and patted her horse's neck. "I thought I could come with you and Theon. I want to help you look for Jon."
Robb laughed under his breath. "I really don't think mother and father will let you go." He began to prepare his horse for the ride, trying to shift his thoughts away from Gwynne's body writhing underneath him. He kept his body turned away from her so she wouldn't see the swelling in his pants.
"Maybe we won't tell them, then."
"Won't tell us what, Gwynne?"
She felt her heart skip a beat as she turned around to see the Lord and Lady of Winterfell standing behind her. "I...I was hoping to accompany Robb and Theon while they search for Jon." They would never let her go, she knew that. But it didn't hurt to try.
It was no surprise that Cat was the first to speak. "Absolutely not, Gwynne. Let the boys search for him, you will stay here." In truth, she didn't want anyone to search for him. Cat had wanted Jon out of Winterfell the moment Ned brought him there as an infant. He was finally gone and now they wanted to find him and bring him back?
"Please, please let me go with them." Gwynne wanted nothing more than to be there to bring him back home.
"Let her go, Cat. We can't keep her locked up in the castle forever. I trust you'll stay by Robb's side and do what he says?"
Gwynne couldn't hide her smile. "I will, my Lord. Thank you."
"Come, Cat. Leave the kids to ready their horses."
Lady Stark didn't speak another word. She didn't have to. The look on her face said it all. Gwynne watched in silence as Ned and his wife walked away before disappearing out of sight.
"Gwynne?" Theon gave her a weird look when he stepped into the stable. He paused for a moment, his eyes darting back and forth between her and Robb. "They're not going to let you come with us." It was more of a statement than a question.
Gwynne smiled out of spite. "Actually, they did. And I am."
The ride was uneventful. The three of them talked amongst themselves along the way and cracked jokes no one else would understand. It reminded Gwynne of when they were children and often explored the land together. Except one of them was missing.
Jon. She pictured him out there, scared and alone, and her heart sunk within her chest. Did he want to come home? Was he hoping someone would come find him and bring him back? Did he miss his bedchamber? Did he miss Robb? Did he miss her?
"Gwynne?" Theon's voice brought her back to reality.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
"Would you ever go to bed with two men at once?"
She could hear Robb snickering beside her as he kept his eyes forward. Theon's questions and stories always entertained the young heir of Winterfell. This time was, of course, no exception.
She rose an eyebrow at Theon. "Who says I haven't already?"
Theon let out a laugh. "Please, Gwynne. Besides Robb here, you're the biggest virgin I know."
"You know, you're not always around when I'm with Robb and Jon. Sometimes Robb even sneaks some wine from the kitchen. You wouldn't believe what happens sometimes!"
Gwynne was obviously pulling Theon's leg but that didn't stop the image from flashing in Robb's mind. He could see it almost as though it had actually happened.
The three of them were sitting on her mattress. Gwynne's fingertips trailed over Robb's bare chest, her nails gently scratching his warm flesh. Jon was seated behind her and leaned forward, his lips caressing her neck. Robb leaned over and found her lips, sliding his tongue into her mouth. He felt her moan against his lips, her body surrounded by the young men she had grown up with. They weren't children anymore, hiding under the bed sheet and telling each other scary stories. They were grown now, sharing their first sexual experience with one another. Gwynne shivered violently as Jon's tongue ran along her neck, his lips stopping to suck on skin along the way.
"Robb, are you okay?" Gwynne's voice was full of concern as she came up beside his horse.
"Yes, sorry." He shifted uncomfortably in the saddle. The thought of his brother touching Gwynne made him feel...strange. Envious, almost. He loved Jon with all of his heart but he didn't want to picture his brother touching her and kissing her. He wanted Gwynne to be his and his only.
They had spent nearly the entire day searching the woods for Jon. It wasn't until the sun had began to set that Robb had been forced to end the search for the day. They wouldn't be able to look properly in the darkness and Robb didn't want to risk putting Gwynne in any danger. He promised his father he would keep her safe and he wasn't going to go back on his word.
She protested but eventually Robb won the argument and the three of them headed back to Winterfell. They had broken their fast with the rest of the Starks, though Gwynne found it hard to eat enough to stop her stomach from grumbling. She was starving yet she seemed to have no appetite. She forced herself to eat more and accepted the fact that she would no doubt be throwing it back up in a short while.
"May I be excused?"
Cat watched the young girl carefully. "Are you feeling alright, Gwynne?"
"Yes, I'm afraid I just don't have much of an appetite tonight, my Lady."
Cat smiled warmly. "Maybe it would be best if you lied down for a while, Gwynne. We'll be up to check on you before we retire for the night."
Gwynne excused herself from the Stark table and silently made her way out of the hall. Robb shoved a spoonful of food into his mouth before glancing to the head of the table.
"Father?"
Ned responded with a nod. Robb excused himself from the table, leaning over and giving his mother a quick kiss on the forehead before making his way towards the door. He messed up Arya's hair as he walked by her and smiled to himself when she playfully smacked his hand away as she always did.
When Robb entered the castle hall he called out for Gwynne. She stopped and turned to watch him catch up to her. They walked around the castle, neither of them saying a single word to the other. He followed her over to the balcony where they came to a stop beside each other.
"You don't think we'll find him, do you?" She finally asked.
Robb let out a heavy sigh. "He could be half way across the land by now, Gwynne. I'm not sure if we'll ever find him."
Gwynne bit her bottom lip and stared off into the distance. If she stared long enough maybe she would see him. Maybe he was out there, just beyond the walls, watching her.
A question was burning Robb's mind. He opened his mouth a few times and tried to find the courage to ask it. His voice was nowhere to be found. Finally, taking a deep breath, Robb found the strength to ask it. "How long have you loved him?" Truthfully, he didn't want to know the answer to that question. A part of him was actually scared of what she might say. But he had to know. He couldn't spend the rest of his life with someone constantly wondering if she was in love with his brother.
Gwynne felt her entire body tense at the simple question. Did she love him? How could Robb know yet she was still in the dark? She kept her body facing forward and away from the Stark. She couldn't bare to look at him, not now. How could she be harbouring feelings for another man, for Robb's brother, when she knew she was intended to marry him? She had never felt like such a horrible person.
"I've loved you and Jon for as long as I can remember." It wasn't a lie. She loved the two brothers more than she loved anything else in the world. No matter what happened or where they went she knew it would never change.
Robb turned to face her and leaned one of his arms against the railing. "You love me?" A smirk spread across his lips, the same smirk that sent dozens of young girls away giggling and whispering amongst themselves.
Gwynne rolled her eyes and laughed lightly, reaching her arm out and pushing him. Her laughter stopped abruptly when she felt him grab a hold of her wrist before she could pull her arm back. Robb yanked her arm closer to him and felt her body collide with his.
"Robb..." Her voice was just a whisper but he heard it perfectly clear.
He leaned over and found her lips. She froze against him, her mind yelling at her to pull away. She felt as though she was betraying Jon, though there was nothing to betray. He wasn't her betrothed, he hadn't confessed his love for her. Instead he had left her in the woods and turned his back on her. For all Jon knew he had left her to die.
Finally, Gwynne managed to pull her lips away from Robb's. She took a step back, her wrist still being held in Robb's powerful grip, as she looked up at him. There was something about him that stirred something deep within her. Loose strands of his auburn hair fell over his eyes as he stared into her soul. Women had been chasing Robb for as long as she could remember. In the blink of an eye he had gone from a young boy to almost a full grown man. Her breath was shaky as she stared the piercing blue eyes of the man she was to one day marry.
Robb could feel his heart practically cease from beating. For the first time he couldn't read her face. Was she upset with him for kissing her? Should he have asked? Had he just ruined their friendship?
"Gwynne...I-"
She cut him off before he could say another word. She closed the distance between them again, pulling her wrist free from his grip to wrap both arms around his shoulders. She pulled him down a few inches so her lips could find his again. His hands rested on her hips, his fingers digging into the fabric of her dress as he deepened the kiss. He hadn't expected her to open her mouth to him but feeling her warm tongue against his sent a shiver through his entire body.
Robb turned her around so she was pressed against the edge of the balcony. He pressed his hips into hers, desperate to feel her rub against his growing manhood. His hands slipped from her waist her reach behind and grab a hold of her. Effortlessly, he lifted her up and sat her on the railing. She let out a startled gasp as her arms instantly tightened around him.
Robb couldn't help but laugh. "I won't let you drop, Gwynne." He assured her. "I'll never drop you."
Gwynne opened her legs just enough for Robb to stand between them. With the extra fabric of her gown it made it difficult to get as close as Robb would have liked. Truth be told, if he had it his way, neither of them would be wearing anything.
She turned her head to look back at the open field beyond the walls of Winterfell. A cool breeze blew past her and Robb could smell the fragrance oil she had put on before breaking her fast with the Starks. He closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled, his body relaxing with just a simple scent. He didn't let go of her, his hands holding onto her hips tightly as he stared off with her.
"We'll find him, Gwynne. I'll never stop looking for him. I'll bring him home. I want my brother to be at our wedding."
That grabbed her attention. She turned around and looked up at him. "Our wedding." She repeated in a whisper.
It was then that she felt a sharp pain in her chest. What was she doing? Not too long ago her body had ached for Jon to kiss her, to touch her. He had and she had smiled about it non-stop every time she thought about it. Now he was gone and she had wasted no time before she jumped on his brother like a hungry animal.
Her eyes began to burn from tears as she pushed Robb away. Gwynne carefully got off the balcony and couldn't even bare to make eye contact with the young Stark. "I'm sorry, I should go to bed, now."
Robb grabbed a hold of her arm when she walked past him. He heard the sadness in her voice and he was concerned. Was she upset because she had to marry him? Because he had kissed her? Or because she had wanted to kiss him? "Gwynne, are you okay?"
She glanced over her should and forced a small smile. "I'm fine. Good night, Robb."
Jon Snow shivered violently and pulled his cloak closer to his body. The night air seemed to grow colder the further he went away from Winterfell. It was as though the Gods were threatening to freeze him to death if he didn't turn around and go back home.
Home, he scoffed. Winterfell had never truly been his home, no more than it had been Theon's home. Ned had always done his best to make him feel welcomed, but there was only so much the Lord of Winterfell could do to ease his bastard's pain. He couldn't be there when Jon walked by disgusted towns people, or when Sansa rolled her eyes whenever Jon approached her. Arya had always been sweet to Jon, and he had always cherished that in his heart. She had loved him the same way she loved Robb.
As Jon grew older he assumed it was because Arya was too young to fully understand what a bastard meant. He remembered trying to explain it to her once a few years back.
"I don't understand, Jon." Arya frowned. She knew Jon was different from her brothers and sister, but it didn't quite make sense.
Jon sighed. How was he supposed to explain it to his younger sister without upsetting her? He didn't want her to grow up knowing her father had betrayed her mother in such a horrible way. He didn't want her to realize that it was Jon's existence that broke lady Cat's heart with every glance.
"Your father loves your mother very, very much, Arya." Gwynne came up from behind them and took a seat on the log beside Arya. She wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the young girl on the forehead. "But many moons ago, your father made a..." She paused for a moment. How was she supposed to explain this? She bit her bottom lip and looked over at Jon for support.
"Mistake." He said simply.
Arya turned to look at her older brother. Her frown grew even more. "You're a mistake?"
Gwynne saw the hurt look on Jon's face as he nodded solemnly. "Lady Stark felt betrayed by your father's actions. She's never been able to forgive me."
Arya shook her head. "That's not true! Mother loves you, she just doesn't know it yet!"
Both Jon and Gwynne couldn't help but smile at Arya's words.
That was a long time ago. Sometimes, when he truly thought about it, it seemed as though it were a lifetime ago. Arya never spoke of the conversation again and she had never changed the way she looked at Jon. Nothing warmed his heart more after Cat's icy stares than the unconditional love little Arya Stark would give him.
Nothing except her...
Jon leaned his body back against the trunk of the tree and glanced up towards the stars that lit the night sky. He wondered what she was doing right now. Was she thinking about him? Was she looking up at the same stars he was? Did she even make it back to Winterfell okay?
He had never felt so guilty in his entire life. He turned his back on her and left her out in the woods by herself in the middle of the night. He didn't know if she could, but he knew he would never forgive himself for doing that. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and go back to Winterfell. He wanted to grab her and take her into his arms and promise he would never leave her again.
But he couldn't go back. Not now. He needed time on his own, he needed to think. If he couldn't have her, he needed to find a way to get over her. He knew she would never truly be his, so what was the point in torturing himself over and over again?
Gwynne deserved better than to be with Ned Stark's bastard. She deserved to be a lady, deserved to be Robb's wife. Jon couldn't expect her to give up a life she could only dream of for his happiness.
His thoughts had weighed heavily on him and finally drained whatever energy he had left. He closed his eyes and found himself thinking about her as he drifted off to sleep cold and alone.
Gwynne swept her brushes and perfume bottles off her dresser and let out an agitated groan. Tears were streaming down her face as she slumped into the chair facing her mirror. She looked into the mirror and could barely recognize the person looking back at her. This wasn't her. What was wrong with her? Her father would be so disappointed in her if he were still alive.
"Gwynne? Are you okay?"
She glanced over her shoulder and saw Ned Stark standing in her doorway.