Ellie awoke the next morning with a slight sense of disorientation. She'd slept in so many different beds over the past few weeks, towing her son from place to place like some sort of nomad, that every morning she found herself momentarily confused. But this bed felt familiar. The sounds, too. The birds and the traffic outside. The soft sound of snores beside her that were not Fred's and decidedly not Alec Hardy's.
And for a second she was taken back to the past as she realized she was in her own bed again, in her own house; she and Joe were married and happy, and she had to go to work while he would stay with the boys. It was an arrangement that worked for them, that made her look forward to her day.
She knew the boys were safe and looked after, and Joe would often bring them to see her at breaks. And she was as free to throw herself into her job as any man was, free to work as much as she needed and even aspire to get a promotion if she wished.
But that illusion was shattered when she opened her eyes to see the sloping walls of their bedroom painted uniformly white. It'd been finished, and as her brain came awake she remembered that Joe had never gotten the chance to do it. He was remanded and on trial for the murder of Danny Latimer. Alec Hardy had gotten her promotion, and then lost it after he was deemed medically unfit. And she was working as a PC in Devon, but spending most of her time at the courthouse or with Hardy, trying to solve the Sandbrook case.
But all was not lost. She was back home in the house where their family had had their best years. And, as she turned over to see her eldest son sleeping soundly next to her, Tom was home with her again. No longer at her sister's where she worried over him constantly.
Lucy had a good heart and good intentions, but her skills as a mother and a wife left quite a bit to be desired. Ollie had managed to come through relatively unscathed, but he could be a little shit sometimes, could be impulsive and capricious. She didn't want that for Tom.
And there was something else that gave her a little jolt of excitement as she lay there in the early-morning light next to her sleeping son. Alec Hardy. They'd started something, three nights ago. Something that had felt so right to her, right away, it had been like pieces falling into place. She was almost disconcerted by the lack of anxiety and self-doubt she'd had over the beginning of this relationship of theirs. And for someone who had many times been accused of thinking too much, this was rare.
In fact, it had strengthened her, given her confidence and hope and something to look forward to as the days dragged by, the trial testing her resolve and that of nearly everyone involved in it.
She felt as though they were laying the foundation for the future. Eventually, life wouldn't be like this. Her husband would no longer be on trial and would no longer be her husband, and Claire Ripley, Lee Ashworth, and the Gillespies would be distant memories.
Whether Joe got off (he wouldn't), or whether they arrested a suspect for Sandbrook (they would), life would go on. Things would start to settle. Her boys would need a father figure and it wasn't going to be Joe Miller, even if Sharon Bishop did manage to sway the jury and a sentence. He wasn't getting anywhere near them.
And if her and Alec's impetuous first night together had consequences (at times she almost found herself hoping it did, if only to have something that no one else could touch, something of their own) there would be another little life needing care in a few months' time.
Just the thought of them together in this house made her smile; her and Alec, Tom and Fred. And baby makes five. Maybe they'd have a little girl this time, a sister for Daisy and Tom to dote over like Chloe did Lizzie. A little raven-haired wisp of girl like her father who would bring their families together, mend the scars wrought by both of their spouses.
They'd all live in this house, and Daisy'd visit from time to time. Maybe she and Tom could be friends and they could do things together, the six of them, and go out as one big group. Alec attempting to appear irritated but failing. Kids talking left and right, Fred and the baby babbling.
Alec. Just the thought of him this morning gave her a rush of pleasure. She thought of him in an entirely different light now. Everything that had irked her about him, well, it still did. But less so. He had been there for her when no one else was, and continued to be. Excitement and anticipation bubbled inside her at the thought of him healthy again. She didn't have to worry about him dropping dead on her anymore. He'd live a normal life now.
The first time he'd collapsed had been enough to scare the shit out of her and she'd only known him then for a few weeks. She was excited to see him as he was before this ailment had handicapped him, to see him whole again. Someone with their life returned to them who could run about and chase after suspects without getting breathless. Someone who could have a glass of wine or beer, go for a swim or ride a bike. All the things that made life worth living. All the things he'd been unable to do.
It was as though solving the Sandbrook & Broadchurch murders seemed to be the only things he took pleasure in.
And, she supposed, Ellie herself, of late. That thought gave her a little heady tingle as she went back to that first night with him. It had been nice. Different than what she was used to (although she almost didn't want to think about her sex life with Joe, considering what had happened) but really lovely. Never, when she'd shaken his hand that day on that beach, not quite a year ago next to Danny Latimer's dead body, did she believe they'd ever be more than colleagues. And now? Now he was her future.
But Fred's loud, hungry cries rang out a moment later, and Ellie was forced to stir from her reverie. Tom woke beside her and she watched her eldest as he oriented himself in this room again, with its new paint job. He looked around in confusion for a few seconds before she saw recognition dawn on him. He looked at his mother.
"We're back," he said.
"We are," she told him, unable to keep the smile from her face. She had missed this boy so much, and she had missed so much of his life. How had she let it go on for so long? He should have been here, with her and with his brother this whole time.
"I've missed you, Mum," he said next, and a great big wide grin broke out on her face. She bent down to kiss his forehead. "And the house. I miss Dad in it, but I don't, you know what I mean?"
Ellie nodded. "I know exactly what you mean." That Joe was gone. The one now was an imitation, a different man altogether. She patted his head then turned to get out of bed. "Come on, let's get your brother and you fed. I've got to take him to the minder's and you've got school."
"Where are you going?" Tom asked, still abed, as she neared the bedroom door. She stopped, turning to him.
"To Hardy's place," she told him, "we're working on a case."
"I thought he wasn't a police officer anymore."
"He's not," Ellie said, shaking her head. "But that hasn't stopped him." She made to leave the room, but Tom spoke again.
"Mum," he started, his tone low and serious, and Ellie's stomach dropped, "What the solicitor said, about you and him. That wasn't true, was it?"
Ellie froze, forcing herself to breathe normally. "No, of course it wasn't," she told him with an air of disgust, summoning the her from several weeks ago who'd taken those accusations.
"Okay," he said, seemingly satisfied. He threw back the covers and started to get out of bed. Ellie made for Fred's room, relief flooding her. She was off the hook for now. But he'd have to be told eventually. If she and Alec carried on like they had been. But not now. She'd just got him back. No sense in alienating him all over again.
She went to get Fred from his cot. She planned to drop by the cottage before going to Hardy's hut. Claire had some explaining to do.
Σ
She entered later to find Tess admiring Ellie's cork board of Sandbrook clues, tea in hand. The house was silent, the waves and seagulls the only sounds to be heard.
"Morning," the woman said to her. "Sleep well?"
"Yes, actually," Ellie told her. "Boys are settled back at home." Tess nodded, turning to smile at Ellie. "Bit strange, though, to be honest. Keep thinking he's going to walk back through the door. But not him, you know, the 'him' from before." Ellie shook her head, laughing, slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, you probably don't want—"
"Ellie," Tess began, "gab away, I don't mind. Alec hasn't been very good company."
"How is he?" she asked, looking toward his room to see a long, immobile shape beneath the covers.
"As good as can be," she said, taking a sip of her tea. "He's been sleeping for about twelve hours." She came back over to set it down on what had once been the kitchen table but was now piled with papers and case files, photographs and sticky notes. "Should be up soon. I was just going to put the kettle on again, you want one?"
"Sure, I'd love a cuppa," Ellie told her, taking a seat at the table and taking a look at the papers piled there. She would let Alec sleep, let him get his strength back. It would be a long day, he'd need it. "Any luck?" Ellie asked Tess as she puttered about in the kitchen. "With the case, I mean?"
Tess shook her head. "Not yet, but I'm optimistic." She pointed toward the board Ellie'd put together with its accumulated notes and photographs. "I must say I'm impressed by the work you two have put in."
"Er, that was me, I'm afraid," Ellie told her, smile sheepishly. "Had a bit too much coffee and a bit too much on my mind. He left me here and went off traipsing after Claire and Lee. Couldn't help myself." Tess's eyebrows went up in surprise at Ellie's admission. There was a flash of something else across the woman's fine features. Not jealousy, but something like it. Possessiveness, maybe.
"Well, then, I'm really impressed. You didn't even know the case."
"Didn't need to, really, from all Alec has talked about it." Tess's expression was unreadable. "Plus the case files were very thorough. You two did a good job, you know, before the…" Ellie didn't want to finish. It wasn't her place to get into what'd happened to the two of them and the case. But Tess smiled at Ellie, no hint of any hard feelings.
"We tried," she told her. Tess paused, turned pensive, "But without the pendant there was nothing. No physical evidence, no crime scene, no Lisa. Pippa's autopsy turned up very little. Lee and Claire were anything but forthcoming and the Gillespies….well, I'm sure you've met them by now."
"I have," Ellie said, smirking, "an hour of my life I'll never get back." Tess smiled mirthlessly. At the mention of Claire Ellie was reminded of what she'd found at the cottage. "She's gone, Claire is, by the way. Stopped in before I came here. There was residue of a burnt photograph in the sink. Other than that, nothing. She can't have gone far."
At this, Tess came over to sit opposite Ellie on the arm of the sofa. She rolled her cup of tea between her hands, thinking.
"She's scared," Tess said.
"Yeah, but of what? Of Lee? Of us? I can't figure her out. What did you think of her, back in the beginning?"
"To be honest," Tess said, and Ellie could tell by the way her words were stripped of any affectation that this was the absolute truth, "I've never known what to make of Claire Ripley." She turned to look out the window at the harbour. "I could never read her. Alec, too. But he believed she was a victim from the start, he trusted her. I don't, never have."
"Me neither," Ellie said. "Even before I saw the photograph." Ellie went back over those few times they'd been alone together, her and Claire. She tried to figure out what her gut told her. "I don't think she's killed anyone; not on purpose, anyways. But she's hiding something."
"I think you're right," Tess said, taking a slow sip of tea. "I can see why you and Alec work so well together."
Ellie smiled, shrugging. "It wasn't always that way. I was…different before Danny's murder. We didn't get on at first. Alec stole my job, came in and set to making me suspect everyone in town." She smiled, thinking back to those early days when they clashed so often. When she'd only had the Latimers' grief to deal with. Before Hardy had told her it'd been Joe. "Sometimes I think he didn't do a good enough job."
Tess smiled at Ellie uncomfortably, reaching forward to pat her arm. "Husbands and wives are good at hiding things from each other, Ellie. He knew if you'd had any clue, he'd lose everything. So he hid it. You weren't supposed to know."
"I wish I had," Ellie told her. God, she wished she had. She'd've taken the boys away and made sure Danny was safe. She could have. If she'd not been so wrapped up in her own life. In Florida, in Lucy's latest shenanigans, in her stupid promotion. "Anyway," she said, shaking her head. "No use going over that now. Where should I start?" Tess pointed to a pile of papers on the table.
"I've been through those but I didn't see anything I haven't seen before. Maybe a fresh pair of eyes will help?"
Ellie nodded, and settled in, scanning the documents, looking for anything that stuck out to her. Tess brought her some tea and the two of them fell into a comfortable enough silence.
Ellie couldn't help sneaking peeks at the man sleeping in his room off the kitchen. It was the longest she'd been away from him in the past three days and she realized with the glimpse of his face, slack and vulnerable and surprisingly youthful in sleep, that she'd missed him. Missed the feel of his slim body next to hers, the warmth that radiated from him and the worrying, yet comforting, quick pace of his heart.
She missed seeing the peace on his face as he slept, his freckles in the early morning light and the delicate skin around his eyes. His waking hours were filled with such turmoil that she relished those few moments of calm.
When he began to stir she couldn't help but watch him wake. Watched as his confusion turned to surprise, as he registered where he was and what'd happened. His hand went to his chest as he turned to see her eyes on him. She was already smiling, she found, when his eyes met hers, and the grin that broke out on his face soon after left her breathless. Blimey, he's gorgeous, she thought.
How had she not noticed it before? The way his pyjama bottoms clung to his hips as he rose and made his way into the kitchen. His sleep-tousled hair and that loping gait of his. She took a breath. Now was not the time for lusting after her former partner, especially while his ex-wife sat nearby. They had work to do, after all.
He was gingerly pulling a grey jumper over his head as he neared her, giving her shoulder a squeeze. She reached up as he did so, patting his hand.
"How you feeling?" she asked, looking up at him. Tess offered him a tea and he accepted, sitting down on the sofa opposite her.
"Like a new man," he said, tapping his chest. He certainly seemed to have recovered some of his pep. Ellie smiled.
"Well, that's great because Claire's gone from the house," she told him, explaining the ash and the photograph. She handed him the picture of Pippa holding the teddy bear and watched as the realization dawned on his face. Tess came by with his tea, placing it on the table in front of him.
"She's panicking," Alec said, already breathless, looking to Tess for validation. He got none.
She tried to bring him back down to earth with the facts. She didn't believe Claire had killed Pippa. She'd had no motive, and Ellie didn't think she had it in her. "Unless she was grooming Pippa for Lee," she suggested, even as the thought turned her stomach. Alec merely sipped his tea, deep in thought.
Tess's voice interrupted them as she recognized Gary Thorp's name. And even with the explanation of his connection to the incinerator and the wedding, and Alec's pleading brown eyes, it still wasn't enough to convince Tess to reopen the case. Ellie rolled her eyes.
Christ, what's it going to take? CCTV footage of Lee killing Pippa? Even then…Ellie thought. She liked Tess well enough, but the woman almost seemed to take pleasure in denying her former husband what he wanted most. And it wasn't as if Alec's motives were selfish—he simply wanted to solve the case for Pippa and her parents, and for Lisa, who, alive or dead, deserved to have her story told.
Ellie didn't like it. They wouldn't be in this mess now if Tess hadn't broken protocol to shag her colleague instead of transporting the evidence in the correct manner. And yet she still lorded it over them.
"What're you two gonna do?" Tess asked, as if she'd taken control of the investigation herself. Ellie resisted rolling her eyes once more.
"Miller," came Alec's voice and she looked up at him. "I'm going to need to you to give Claire once last chance to confess."
"Oh are you?" she asked, getting a little irked by being bossed around by these two. She was the one who'd discovered the Gary Thorp clue, had put all the evidence together. She'd started reinvestigating the case when Alec'd all but given up. "How 'bout a 'please?'"
Alec's expression softened, as he looked over at Tess, and then at Ellie. He hesitated for a second before getting up off the sofa and stepping over to her.
"Miller," he said, his tone measured, and she looked up at him. "Can you please track down Claire and try to get a confession out of her? She doesn't trust us. You're the only one who's got a chance."
Ellie sighed, looking up at him. He looked so much healthier. His colour was better, his posture had straightened. He didn't seem to be in any pain. And his eyes were on her, pleading as usual, but she could see there was a warmth there that hadn't been there before. He wasn't selfishly demanding she do his bidding. He really did need her.
"Fine," she said. "Not like I've got anything better to do." She stood and Alec reached forward and laid a hand on her shoulder.
"How was your first night back?" He asked, his voice low enough that Tess couldn't hear. Ellie smiled. He was trying, she'd give him that.
"Good, actually. Few tears, but that's to be expected." She sighed. "Tom asked about…us. About the accusation in court."
"What'd you say?" Alec asked, slightly alarmed.
"Denied it, flat out," she said. "He's not ready, and I don't even know what I'd tell him in the first place. I don't even think we know what we're doing." She tried to keep the hurt from her eyes. He hadn't wanted to label this; he'd been clear about that from the start. But she needed to know that there was something here. A future. Alec looked away out at the harbour, then back at her.
"I need to solve this case, Miller. We both do. I need to close the book on Pippa's killer once and for all. Then we can figure out what we're...doing." His eyes were shining and bright in the morning sun. She could see the flecks of gold and amber, and was momentarily struck by how lovely he really was.
"Fine," she said, if only to get him to stop looking at her like that. She glanced over to see Tess poring over the evidence board once more, seemingly oblivious to the two of them. Ellie leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips, relishing in the feel of him against her once more, even if just for a few seconds. "I'll let you know how it goes."
Alec nodded and Ellie turned to leave, glancing at Tess before stepping out the door. The woman was still curiously entranced by the papers affixed to the pinboard, but Ellie suspected she'd heard and seen the entirety of their exchange.
She smirked, and left Alec to deal with her.