"Mingan, wake up. We have to get you out of here."
Why was that voice so familiar?Consciousness started to seep into her limbs.
So tired.
"Wake up! We don't have much time."
What was that throbbing in her head? Oh, it hurt.
"Come on, just wake up." She forced her eyelids open to see Zuko standing over her.
Where was she?
She opened her mouth to ask but a wave of nausea came rolled over her. She leaned over the side of… well whatever she was laying on and was violently ill. Luckily, Zuko had a bin ready and threw it under her before she spilled the contents of her stomach on his floor. She breathed heavily, her stomach sore and her head pounding. "Where am I?" She croaked, looking around. Her vision was still blurry and the room started twisting and turning so she screwed her eyes shut.
"What have I done?" Zuko berated himself. Her head lolled forward and to the side, then back again. He pressed a warm rag against her mouth, wiping the vomit from her lips. "Agni-" he hissed. He pressed her shoulders back onto his bed.
"Where am I?" She asked again.
"You're on my ship," he answered.
"Y-you- this is your fault," she growled weakly.
"I know it is! Agni I know it is!" Zuko snapped, furious with himself.
The young woman in his bed groaned in pain, her hands reaching up clumsily to cradle her head between her palms. He had never felt so guilty before. He didn't want to hold captive an innocent woman, take her from the only home she had ever known, bring her home as a prize. It was sick. If she hadn't been so stubborn, if she would have just stayed away like he told her to! He was angry at her for being so stubborn and even angrier at himself for getting her into this situation. But if he hadn't invoked property rights over her, Zhao would have and she would've been even worse off. He wished he hadn't been so concerned with his image and just told his men to let her go. Agni he could've just done it! And here he was still trapped under that blasted image of his. If word got back that'd he'd let an insolent savage get the better of him, who knows what kinds of repercussions it could cause. "Come on, we need to get you out of here. Get up and I'll help you get your boots on."
"You're letting me go?" She asked, struggling to focus on him, her eyes glassy. Zuko felt his skin flare up; that idiot that tackled her had given her a concussion, he was sure of it.
"Yes, come on," he said impatiently. Mingan pushed herself up, groaning, one hand held to her head. It took her a long time to sit up. Her face had drained of color, giving her dark skin a sickly pallor. He felt awful for getting her mixed up in all this. If he had just commanded her to be released in the first place…
She got to shaky feet. The floor spun beneath her and she stumbled forward. She tumbled into Zuko's arms and he set her on the edge of the bed gently. They were leaving in the morning and she couldn't even stand. How was he supposed to send her out on the ice and expect her to make the trip back to her village? She could pass out and die from exposure! Great Agni- she would be forced to stay with him. She wouldn't survive if he took her out there now. There were no other options now. She was coming with him to the Fire Nation. He swore he would get her back home somehow, someday. But for now the best he could do was help her get better. He helped her lay back down and started pulling the covers over her again but she swatted his hands away weakly. "Too hot," she groaned. He put the back of his fingers against the side of her neck and scolded himself. He should have known better. He pulled the blankets back off of her. This girl had lived her entire life in the tundra, she probably hadn't even been in a space as warm as this before! "Are you wearing anything under your hides?" He didn't just want to strip her down naked. She nodded weakly. Zuko hooked his fingers in the sides of her heavy fur pants and tugged them off. She was wearing a light pair of close fitting pants underneath. He did the same with her heavy shirt and found the same close fitting material on her upper half. She was nothing but lithe, lean muscle. He forced his gaze from her and put her heavy outerwear over the back of a chair. She would stay here for the remainder of the night; he would bunk on the floor and move her to her own room in the morning. She didn't deserve to be in a cell, even if she was technically his slave. She hadn't done anything wrong. He pulled his palm down his face and groaned. What had he gotten himself into?
As it turned out, it was nearly three days before he managed to get a room lined up for her. The first day, everyone was too busy loading the ships and setting sail. And then she had been too sick to move anyways. Now, their fifth day on sea, he had finally had a chance to oversee a room for her. It had been furnished, cleaned and prepared for a woman to live in. The men were just so happy to be out of the cold, they hadn't even complained. He had dismissed them afterwards and went to retrieve Mingan. She was still very sick. She was suffering from a severe concussion and Zuko suspected seas-sickness as well. She had been vomiting ever since she arrived on the ship five days ago. She was getting paler every day and he was beginning to worry about dehydration. He would call for the physician once he got her settled. When he entered his quarters he found her curled in the center of his bed, all the blankets kicked to the floor. He had given her one of his tunics in hopes of keeping her cool but it hadn't seemed to help much.
"Mingan, wake up," he prompted. "You room's ready." She groaned and gave him a glare over her shoulder. He rolled his eyes. Even in her delirium she still managed to remember how much she hated him. She sat up shakily, her sickness had really taken a toll on her. He helped her off the bed and nearly had to carry her down the hall to her room. It would've been easier on both of them if he had carried her but she absolutely refused. He lay her down in her new bed after turning the covers back. She didn't even bother to get under them, just yanked the tunic down over her bottom and told him to get out. He threw his hands up and screamed at her in his head. Smoke rolled from his nose as he left. He would stop being so nice when she got better. Yelling at her wouldn't help her recover any faster. Once she was settled in bed, Zuko told the guard outside of her door that he was to bring her standard meals every day. As he walked to his room, he sent a passing crewman to tell the physician he was needed. In the meantime, he would send all of Mingan's clothes to be washed. As he picked up all the heavy pelt clothing, her dagger clattered to the floor. He remembered discovering it:
When he had helped her change out of her thick clothes and into his thin tunic, he had found it strapped to the underside of her arm. There she sat, vulnerable, in nothing but her underwear, sitting on his bed and yet she still had the ability to kill him if she saw fit. If she hadn't been so sick, wasn't half delirious with fever, she probably would've used it to kill him and every other man on this vessel. He had gingerly taken it from her, taking the whole scabbard off gently.
He examined the weapon now. The craftsmanship was impressive. He wondered if she had made it herself. It was a smooth ivory blade, sharpened meticulously on one side. He could've shaved with it having been so well sharpened. The handle was also bone, browning along the bumpy top near the blade. The hilt was painted with pictures in blue. He wasn't sure what the figures were doing, or what they represented, but he figured it was important. Finally, tied where the blade met the hilt, a thin leather thong was tied. The twin tails held ivory beads, one painted and one untouched. It was a fine weapon. He decided to keep it hidden from her for now; he really didn't want to be murdered in his sleep anytime soon. He heard the physician down the hall through his open door. He dropped the clothes down the shoot on the way back to Mingan's room. When he arrived back in her quarters, the greying doctor was sitting in a chair beside the bed. Mingan was sitting up, shooting daggers at the old man. Zuko gave her a look and she shot one right back. "Mingan, this is the ship's physician, Jai Dee. He's going to make you feel better." Mingan looked at him skeptically but allowed the physician to help her. It was quiet for a while as Jai Dee poked and prodded Mingan.
"Well, your girl is pretty dehydrated and suffering from a severe concussion. I'm sure you know these thing already Prince Zuko," he added when Zuko opened his mouth to protest. "She needs lots of water and rest. As for the sea-sickness she's having, that will pass with time. I can suggest some tea that might calm her stomach or give her some medication. We have plenty on board, this is a ship after all," he chuckled.
"Whatever you think is best," Zuko answered waving his hand flippantly. He felt awkward making medical decisions for this girl. The doctor pulled a jar of powder out of his medical bag, set it on the bedside table, and told her to mix a spoonful with her water.
"That's the best we can do for now. Just get some rest," he told her, getting to her feet, knees creaking. He left the room and Zuko followed, locking it behind him.
Now, a week later, at noon, Zuko was going through his final katas on the deck. It was still bitterly cold but he wasn't going to let that stop him. Mingan had steadily gotten better and her mood declined with it. She became downright hostile and lashed out more often. She had yet to attack him but he knew the day was fast coming. He was sweating underneath his coat, making him sticky and uncomfortable. Regardless, it was a relief to stretch his muscles and release all the pent up energy in him. After he finished he hoped he could take a hot shower and relax in his quarters. It was to be a routine traveling day. No stops were scheduled for another week yet, there was no maintenance to be overseen and no navigation meetings either. What Zuko didn't expect from this routine day was for a crewman to come running up the steps shouting.
"Prince Zuko!" It was Mingan's guard. "Your Watertribe girl is distressed. I don't know what's-"
Zuko was already heading down the stairs. This was a new stunt she was pulling, he was sure of it. When he reached her door only deathly quiet met his ears. If he were to be completely honest with himself, it worried him. One could say Zuko was quite confounded when he stepped inside and found the room to be utterly... disheveled. Chairs were tipped over, the table was skew from its spot, candles had been knocked from their place holders and other small items littered the floor. "Mingan?" He asked dumbfounded. When he entered he was sure she was finally going to attack him. But, it was quiet and she was nowhere to be seen. Zuko stepped through the room, avoiding all the mayhem that surrounded him. Now that he was farther inside the room he could see her leaning against the wall on the other side of the bed. Her chest was heaving, her hair covered her face and she sat with her arms limp at her side, covered in small cuts and bruises. She truly had done a number on herself and the room. Zuko was preparing to give her a good tongue-lashing when he saw she was quivering all over. It made him balk but he still wanted to know why she had seen fit to destroy her room. His foot knocked into something on the floor and her eyes opened slowly, almost annoyed he had disturbed her. "What happened?" He demanded looking up from the candle holder he had kicked. She didn't answer but glared and moved her gaze away from him. "Answer me! Why does it look like a komodo-rhino stampeded through this room?" She still did not respond, she didn't even look at him. He could feel the anger roiling in his chest. If this insolent girl thought she could get away with ignoring the Prince of the Fire Nation, she was about to learn. Zuko knelt beside her, forcing his way into her line of sight. "If you don't answer me Mingan, I swear to Agni-"
"It's too close."
"What?" He blurted, utterly flabbergasted at her bizarre response.
She rubbed her upper arms gingerly, staring at the tiny smears of blood. She looked back up at him. "I can't breathe in here."
Zuko rubbed the space between his eyebrows with one finger. "So what you're telling me is that you're claustrophobic?" He breathed out. This girl was infuriating. "Why did you destroy your room then?" He asked, struggling to be patient and not to burn her into a pile of ashes.
She gave him a cold look and said "I was looking for a way out."
He gave a long sigh. He intended to take her out on deck and get some fresh air to that head of hers. Maybe she wouldn't be so stark-raving mad. "Come on." He nearly made the mistake of reaching down to grab her arm and help her up. Lucky for him, he caught the look she gave him before he managed to even touch her.
Zuko could tell the guard was beyond nervous when he started leading Mingan down the hall. The man Zuko assigned to guard Mingan's room was young, far too willing to please and clearly worried about everything.
"Um, Sir, is this against regulations? I mean no disrespect of course but, shouldn't a slave be confined to quarters?" Zuko couldn't be bothered to answer him honestly. He could practically feel the tension rolling off the guard the closer they got the stairs that led to the main deck. "Prince Zuko what if she tries to escape, o-or attack someone, I don't think it's wise to-"
"Crewman, I suggest you stop talking," Zuko warned coldly.
When they reached the deck, Zuko was sure to keep a close eye on Mingan. He couldn't have her bolting for the edge of the ship, or trying to kill someone. He didn't know her well, but he enough that by keeping her locked up, every feral instinct inside her had been boiling inside her and was ready to burst free at the seams. At this point, she was completely unpredictable to him.
When the cold air met Mingan's face she felt like something inside of her cooled as well. The room Zuko had locked her in was far too hot and the lack of sunlight was making her go mad. Never in her life had she felt so uneasy. She felt as though she had been filled with water from the inside out and packed into a tiny box. The feeling was beyond unsettling. The lack of exercise was eating away at her too, making her jittery and temperamental. To see the sky was something she never thought would become a luxury for her. The thought made her angry, angry beyond anything she'd ever felt before, but it also made her hurt so deeply. She missed her home. She crossed the deck slowly, relishing the breeze on her face. She did not care that the cold air cut through the thin Fire Nation clothes she was wearing. She didn't care that the wind stung her cheeks, she felt free, even if it was only for a moment. Zuko followed her like a shadow, making her feel disquieted. When she looked down at the ocean water flying past them she gripped the railing so tightly her knuckles turned white. She looked out to the horizon. There was nothing but unforgiving water. There was no land, no trees or birds. Her heart started pounding. She had never been so far out on the ocean. She had always been able to see land no matter where she'd been. The world suddenly opened up and seemed so large it might swallow her. The thought was terrifying.
She squeezed the railing, the cold biting in her palms. Her heart ached terribly at the thought that her home was so far away. Her parents were there, her friends, her family. Her life was back at the South Pole and she was so far away she couldn't even see the shore. Would she ever see them again? Would she ever get to sleep on her own pile of furs again? Or be tackled into the snow by the rowdy group of warriors she called her friends? Would she ever hunt again? Hug her parents? The thought dropped in her stomach like a stone. She felt nauseous. She couldn't bear the thought of never going home. It felt like someone had reached down her throat and pulled her insides out. She was being ripped apart. Sorrow and anger roiled her in her stomach and poisoned her heart.
If only she had run away when she first saw Zuko.
She would have never wanted to learn about his people and teach them about her culture. She would still be in her home cuddled up with her mother listening to her father tell funny stories. She would still be on the ice hunting and providing for her village. Did they think she was dead? Had they sung the dirges of death for her and sent an empty canoe out to see?
How easy it would be to just swim home?
She did not know she had started sobbing inconsolably until Zuko was dragging her away from the railing. She would swim home if she had to, she would not spend the rest of her life as less than human in a foreign nation! She fought against his arm, scraped at the railing, desperate to find purchase so she could hurl herself over the side. And if she died, at least she would die trying. But Zuko had seen her move before she had even finalized her plan. He had too much of a head start and had already pulled her from the rail. He dragged her down the stairs, wailing, screaming in agony of the sorrow eating her away.
By the time she managed to find her feet they had already reached her room. She nearly fell head first onto the floor but caught herself.
If only she had killed him.
She whirled to face him. She would rip his throat out with her teeth if she had to. He had stolen her away from her home, taken her from everything she loved! She didn't deserve this, all she had wanted to do was teach his people, to learn about them and he had betrayed her! She gave no warning as she launched herself at him.
He grunted against her weight, stumbling backwards into the hall until they crashed into the wall. She drew back and hit him hard in the face. "Mingan, what are you doing!?" He cried, utterly thunderstruck. She hit him again. Adrenaline had flooded to every cell in her body and all the pent up anger had finally come to head. She struck him again before he finally blocked her. He grabbed her wrists, wrenching her off him. Her head cracked against the metal floor. She slammed her right knee into his rib cage sending him toppling to the side. She moved like lightning throwing herself head first into him, slamming him into the opposite wall. He blocked his face with his arm, knocking her fist to the side. She cried out in frustration, clawing and ripping at anything her hands could reach. Zuko managed to block her attacks long enough to get one foot under him. He pushed up, shoving her with his shoulder, knocking her back into the wall. She caught herself with her hand and shoved off the wall hurdling towards him again. She ducked under a fist and got under his guard, hitting him hard in the stomach. He shoved her back and she sent a swift kick to his ribs. She had learned quickly, paling around with hot under the collar young warriors.
Zuko lunged at her then but she set her weight back onto her heels and caught his body. She shoved back with hers, grappling with him just as well as any man he'd sparred with. He didn't want to hurt her, just to disarm her, but Agni she was making it hard. She was not a learned fighter, he could see that right off. She did not fight with finesse or skill but there was something so raw and primal in her that made her almost an equal match. He would win this fight with experience, but it wouldn't be easy. She fought with all the hard edges of the ice she grew up on. She reserved nothing and every kick and punch she threw was driven forward with grit, something Zuko may never acquire.
Mingan had wrestled with snow lynx, stood toe-to-toe with a young bear and sparred with warriors. Zuko was nothing special, not matter how much fancy training he may have had. She was fighting for her freedom and he was fighting to save his image. There was no doubt who would win.
Zuko blocked her fists easily enough, and managed to deflect a kick or two she threw at him. She was putting up a good fight, a fight he was truly trying to win. He had not known how athletic she truly was until now. No matter how roughly he shoved her or how hard he boxed her around, she kept coming back. He understood that from the moment she was born she had to fight to survive and it showed in every turn of her body and in every time he met her eyes. She was fighting for her life. He struck out, hoping to knock her dizzy, just enough to confuse her so he could lock her in her room and call it quits. He still didn't want to hurt her even if her aim was to kill him. He saw an opening and threw himself at her torso, successfully hoisting her over his shoulder. He received a vicious knee to the center of his chest, sending him tumbling to his knees just inside her room. The air had left his lungs in a loud whoosh.
Mingan scrambled down from his shoulder and saw her chance in his attempt to regain his breath. She tackled him backwards, her hands locking around his throat. She landed on his chest and his head slammed backwards onto the floor. She pulled back and hit him three times before he caught her fist in his hand. He growled, fire flicking in his mouth and sat up swiftly, throwing her onto the floor. He followed through and tried to pin her underneath him. She reached up and locked both hands around his neck, constricting her fingers with everything she had. Had she still possessed her knife, this would have been over before it even started. She would have slit his throat in her fury. She was waiting for the crunch under her hands that meant she crushed his windpipe. She had strangled the life out of artic hens and hares before, she knew what it felt like. Her mind was racing, her heart pounding and her blood pumping. She had never taken the life of person before. Her mind was void of everything except for whatever primal instincts that told her to kill this man… that he stood between her and her freedom. She had never felt the heat of anger like this before. She was burning with fury. She had become wrathful. If she were not so far gone, drowning in the need to survive, she would be scared of herself. She knew what she must look like. Her hair hanging down her back, her body curled off the floor with hands locked around the throat of a Prince. She was bloody and bruised, her lungs panting, sweat rolling down her temples and neck. She has turned into a wild animal.
Zuko struggled to breathe with her hands wringing the life from him. He shoved her shoulders down to the floor and ripped her hands from his throat. As they fought for control of her arms, she managed to rake all five nails down his jaw and neck. He roared in pain, reeling back from the range of her hands, her wrists still locked in his hands. She kneed him and kicked him with every ounce of strength she had. Lucky for him, she did not have the space to build up enough momentum to break his ribs.
He finally had her immobilized. He trapped her legs between his knees and ground her wrists into the floor beside her head. He thought it ironic they were in the same position now, killing whatever trust they had left, as they had been the first time they met. The memory jogged something. He saw it coming before she even moved. He felt the hot air of her breath and felt her teeth graze his skin but narrowly avoided her teeth in his neck. He was thankful he saw it coming, she wouldn't have let go this time. He shoved her back down and held her there.
She was exhausted. The previous week's sickness had weakened her and stolen her stamina. She struggled feebly now, refusing to quit. The adrenaline was wearing off, numbness steadily overcoming her limbs. She felt she was starting to see through her own eyes again. She hated him with every fiber of her being but she no longer wanted to kill him. She felt she had betrayed herself by feeling that way. She had tried to kill someone and it scared her, the very fact she felt betrayal for not killing him scared her. Her heart was heavy and her blood was still hot with anger. She was so confused. Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes unbidden. Zuko panted above her. His scarred eye was already swelling. Blood ran from his lip and from a cut in his hairline. Judging by the river of crimson streaming from his nose, she guessed she had broken it. She stopped struggling, it was over. She would make it back to the South Pole somehow and hopefully without spilling anymore blood. It just would not be today.
"What were you thinking!?" He demanded, his words breathy. They were both panting, both dizzy as the adrenaline left their bodies. She looked away from him and pressed her lips together. "Answer me!" He demanded pressing his weight farther into her wrists. She whimpered and turned her head back to look at him. She was so very lost. She felt adrift in a sea of her own emotions. Her whole life had changed drastically in the span of a few hours and almost two weeks of being trapped by herself to deal with all these changes had driven her mad. "Mingan, I swear-" Zuko snarled and steam rolled from his nose. A string of curses followed it up into the air. "You cutthroat witch. Are you crazy!?" He yelled.
"You're lucky I didn't kill you!" She screamed back. "You're a savage, Prince Zuko!" She spat his name with disgust. "You took me from my home! You took me from my family! I realize now even trying to be peaceable with your people was futile from the start! You were right, I should've just stayed away."
"I was right, Mingan! I told you it was a bad idea to come to the camp, I told you that and you didn't listen!" He roared back. "Why didn't you listen!?"
"I thought I could learn something, I thought I had something to give to your people! All you had to do was let me go and you claimed me as a spoil!? You're a wretched human being, Zuko, a waste of skin!"
"It doesn't change the fact you were just trying to kill me three minutes ago! What's wrong with you? Are you just as bloodthirsty and savage as we thought? You were trying to kill me out of nothing but spite, that's murder you evil harpy!"
"I was trying to get away," she snarled.
"And go where?" He nearly laughed. "Swim back to the South Pole?" Mingan kept her mouth shut, refusing to move her eyes from his.
"Get off me," she demanded quietly.
"Why should I? You'll probably try to bludgeon me to death with a candlestick."
"Get off!" She cried struggling against him. "Get off right now or I will bash your face in!"
Zuko snorted and got up, wiping the blood from his face with his sleeve. "You're lucky I'm a merciful man, anyone else would have you incinerated," he hissed, slamming the door behind him.
She lay on the floor for a moment longer catching her breath. He was right. She had tried to kill him, but she was doing it to survive and she would not let it eat her alive. She got up, her muscles aching, every cut and bruise on her body screaming in pain. She'd had worse. She wiped from blood from her mouth and stumbled to the small bathroom. A hot bath would've done her good but there was only a sink and latrine in the tiny room. She stripped out of her sweaty, blood-stained clothes and looked in the mirror. When she first arrived on this ship the mirror had startled her. It was not the first time she had seen her reflection but it was the first time she'd her reflection so clearly.
Now, her face was bruised and cut, blood flowing from her mouth and eyebrow. She tenderly touched the open gash and winced, retracting her finger. She knew it would scar and probably should have stitches but she didn't have that luxury. It would heal on its own but she would carry a bare line in her eyebrow when it closed. She examined her mouth, finding that she had bitten a chunk out of the inside of her cheek when Zuko hit her. It was not a serious injury, hardly a nuisance and the wound would be gone by tomorrow evening. She stared at herself in the mirror. Is this what she had become in the few short weeks she'd been on this ship? Her jaw was bruised, blood trickled down her temple and crimson stained her lips. Her hair was wild, the beads and feathers tangled into her hair, hidden from sight. She looked like a wild animal. She leaned her weight on her hands against the sink. She had tried to kill someone.
She was going to do it, she would've killed him, ran onto the deck and thrown herself over the side of the ship. She knew she would've died after a few minutes in the freezing water but it was better than living out the rest of her days as a slave. At least she would have died knowing she tried.
She wondered what her parents would have thought of her.
She couldn't help but wonder what Katara would have done in her situation. The chief's daughter was someone Mingan looked up to, even though the last waterbender of the Southern Watertribe was younger than her. She and Katara were very similar. Katara pulled her weight around the village, just as much as Mingan did. Katara helped to drag fish nets from the boats, prepare food, and make sure everyone was cared for. She made sure every villager had enough blankets, had enough food and she spent a lot of time in the infirmary too. Mingan admired the younger girl. Sometimes Mingan would catch her at sunset, practicing her waterbending outside of the village walls. Waterbending was something that had not graced the Southern Watertribe for years. It seemed as though Kanna's line was the last the held the trait.
She didn't think a gentle soul like Katara would have tried to kill anyone.
Mingan washed her battered body the best she could. It took two towels to get all the blood and sweat off her skin. She washed her hair in the sink, brushing through the curls with a comb she found in the small crate of bathroom supplies a few days ago. When she looked at herself again she saw someone who looked much more like herself.
Needless to say, she did not receive an evening meal that day. Not that it really mattered; the food they gave her was too spicy to eat. She could barely choke down a few vegetables and a mouthful of rice if she was lucky. The tea was mild as well as the small slice of bread they gave her. The meager nourishment did nothing to quell her constant hunger or fill her empty stomach. The food made her sick to her stomach and she could not always keep it down. She collapsed into bed after righting the things she had knocked over in her panic to escape. She was tired, beaten and bruised. Her mind did not let her rest for a long time. She was so lost. There were too many emotions for her to even begin to sort through. Sleep was a welcome reprieve.
It took Zuko three days before his anger calmed enough to visit her. He could understand why she had done it, and everything she said had been true. This was his fault and he couldn't help but to feel guilty. He was still furious with her, but he would try to be civil, he was still responsible for her well-being. He entered her room cautiously. He doubted she was lying in wait for him but he could never be too sure. It was dark in the room, only one candle burning in the far corner. "Mingan?" He asked. She was curled up in the center of the bed, the blankets kicked to the floor as usual. He noticed her lunch tray was untouched. He approached the bed and lit the rest of the sconces in the room with a flick of his wrist. She looked over her shoulder at him, glared and rolled back over. "What's wrong with you?" Normally she was wandering around the room listlessly when he checked on her. Now, she was balled up in the fetal position, her arms wrapped rightly around her middle. "Are you sick?"
"Your useless Fire Nation food poisoned me," she said with a mirthless snort of laughter.
"What? I'm not poisoning you, you ungrateful brat!" He shot back.
"It's too spicy you idiot, I know you're not actually poisoning me… though I can't see why not."
Zuko felt his cheeks heat. Of course it was too spicy for her; she'd never had Fire Nation cuisine. Sometimes it still even made him sick. He was angry he hadn't realized it earlier. He growled and threw his hands in the air. It didn't matter what it was, this girl always managed to make him feel like a fool. He stomped out of the room and made a personal visit to the chef to arrange plain foods to be delivered to her.
Another full week passed without any visitation from Zuko. She still hated him that was for sure, but perhaps not as much. She almost missed his visits; they were the only thing that seemed to keep her sane. Unfortunately, she had not seen him for seven days. The nights had quickly become difficult. She was trapped in this room with herself; with her thoughts. Though she vowed not to dwell on it, she could not put to rest the thoughts of her killing Zuko. She must have been mad. She would have never in her right mind, tried to kill someone unless it was purely self-defense. Even then, she thought she would just try to wound her attacker and escape, not actually kill them. But here she was, wracked nightly with nightmares of herself. She was a bloodied, wild, monster. She dreamt she had killed Zuko, that she was standing over his body laying in a pool of blood. But what terrified her most was that she was always the one in Zuko's body, staring up at herself. The dreams always made her shoot awake. Her heart would be thumping against her ribcage and sweat would be rolling down her temples. She hated the Fire Nation for turning her into this and she hated herself for being so blood-thirsty and crazed. She hoped Zuko would visit soon and distract her from her thoughts, afterall he was the only ally she had.
The guilt gnawed harder at Zuko the closer they got to the Fire Nation. He was going to get her back to the South Pole, he just had no idea how or even when. It could take years. Years she would spend in captivity, miserable and missing her family. Despite not being close with his own family, he understood the love for his homeland and he knew Mingan must be missing hers terribly. It would only be a few more weeks until they reached the Gates of Azulon and he still had no idea how to keep her safe in a nation that would surely hate her.
Mingan had become desperate. She had been deprived of human contact for too long. Though, she felt she deserved it after attempting to murder her only companion. She was going to attempt to talk to the guard who brought her meals but before she could do that, her door swung open. She leapt to her feet, nervous of whoever might be entering. It was far too early for her evening meal, ruling out the guard. Zuko peeked in, his body following his head from around the door. "Come on, you need some fresh air and this room needs cleaned." It took her a minute of her feet being frozen to the floor to comprehend what he was saying. The last time he took her on deck she attacked him, and here he was again offering her the niceties of guest and not a prisoner. It almost made her like him again. "Let's go," he huffed impatiently.
"But-"
"Yes. I know last time you tried to kill me, the men know that too and are telling me this is ill-advised but I'm still a decent human being so come on." In all honesty, he just couldn't shake the nagging guilt in his conscious that sounded suspiciously like his Uncle Iroh. And it was getting annoying. He hoped taking this crazed girl up on deck would make him feel a little better about himself. This time though, he wouldn't let his guard down.
Mingan followed him down the hall and up the stairs, walking a little closer to him when she saw the guards grip their weapons a little tighter as she passed. She was nearly blinded by the afternoon sun and had to shield her eyes for a few moments. The air was warmer now and a stiff breeze tossed her hair around her face. It was glorious to be out in the open, a grin cracked her face despite her efforts against it. She surveyed her surroundings, a natural habit after being out on the ice where she was open to attack by one of the South Poles large terrestrial predators. She saw that armed men lined the deck, some acting as though she were no threat and others keeping a hawk's watch on her every movement. She glanced over at Zuko, hoping (for some idiotic reason) that he might give her a clue as to how freely she could act. But, he just stood there, gazing out at the horizon. She made a face when she noticed the healing wounds across his cheek and down his neck. The lines she had made with her fingernails were still red but were shiny with new tissue. She felt a stab of guilt.
She made sure to move slowly and calmly, she didn't feel like being crushed under twelve men ready to protect their prince. She joined him at the railing, curling her fingers around the metal. She leaned her weight into her hands, wishing to talk to him, but having no idea what to say. "You're not going to jump this time." It would've sounded like a question but she could hear the matter-of-fact-ness in his voice.
She answered anyways. "No."
"Good."
It was quiet between them again. She tilted her head back and exposed her throat to the sun, relishing the rays. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He had moved off, standing down the railing closer to the back of the ship. He stood quietly, his hands clasped behind his back, a few strands of his hair stripped free of the top knot and whipping around his temples. She was grateful to him for doing this for her. She had betrayed his trust yet he still allowed her the freedom to be outside even if it only was for a few minutes. He had treated her well despite her status as a "slave". Guilt stabbed at her again. She wrestled with the dark edges of her mind. She felt hot tears sting her eyes. She would never be that monster again. She regained her composure and enjoyed the thirty minutes she was allowed in the sun.
When he led her back into her room she was glad to see it had been cleaned. The smell of soap and saltwater filled her nose as she walked into the room. The sheets had been changed, the floor swept, the bathroom cleaned and her dirty clothes had vanished. Zuko informed her they were being washed and that they would be returned by evening. She found new candles on her desk and a small bowl of brightly wrapped… somethings. She peeked at them down her nose, wondering what they were. "It's candy," Zuko said, suddenly appearing beside her. He gave a short sniff of un-impress. "I figured you needed something to snack on between meals." She looked at him and then back to the candy. They had candy in the South Pole, but it was always in small chunks and never in brightly wrapped packages. She wondered if the Fire Nation candy would taste anything like the sweet and salty seaweed candy of her home. Despite being trepidatious about it, she was really touched by the gesture.
"Thank you… for everything." She said quietly, toeing the floor. "I don't deserve your kindness after the other day."
Zuko let a breath pass through his teeth and lips. "I'm just trying to be kind to you. None of this was ever meant to happen."
Mingan's face felt hot and tears burned her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, her voice shaking.
"I'm sorry too, Mingan. I never intended for you to wind up in this situation. We just have to try and figure it out. I'll think of something." He stepped away from her and wrung his hands, quickly settling them by his hips. It was not very princely to fidget. "I have to go now but we'll talk more later."