Ch. 2: "He was the Only One There" - Ace of Base, Ravine
Qui-Gon paused outside of Obi-Wan's door as it slid closed, confused and worried. It was a rather familiar feeling - after all, this was Obi-Wan - but this display of emotion was uncharacteristic of his Padawan. He did not remember ever having seen Obi-Wan so out of control, ever. Well, not since Arioch, he corrected himself, before he'd become the young man's Master. He hadn't missed that his Padawan had decided not to dress for bed, either. It had pleased him to see that Obi-Wan had no new scars - and even those he'd gotten from before Qui-Gon started to train him had faded past recall.
The grief he'd felt from Obi-Wan had confused him when it woke him up. He'd only felt that when he dreamed of Tahl, and he hadn't that night. He seldom dreamed of her anymore, but he appreciated the reminder of her he got in his dreams. Tonight, though, it hadn't taken him long to realize the grief was leaking down the bond from Obi-Wan. The most confusing part had been the sheer... wrongness he'd felt when he'd sat next to his Padawan. Even stepping into the room had felt as if he were in an alternate reality, where he... no longer existed. Had Obi-Wan felt it, too?
Shaking his head to clear it, he turned to go back into his own room. He would ask nothing of his Padawan tonight, and he didn't think he'd find the answers anywhere else. It might simply have been his own exhaustion, he admitted to himself as he sank down on his sleep couch. The mission had been difficult for both of them, and waking up in the middle of their night was enough to throw everything off. Still, he needed to know if something was wrong. Tomorrow would bring his answers.
When Qui-Gon woke again about mid-day, he felt well rested. He checked the bond with Obi-Wan, relieved to find his Padawan peacefully asleep. Obi-Wan's reaction to last night's dream had been the worst so far. Rising, he dressed - while Obi-Wan had not minded falling into bed without cleaning up, Qui-Gon had - and went into the main room to the kitchenette to make himself something to eat.
He had finished with his meal and made himself some tea by the time he heard Obi-Wan moving around, changing his bedding and using the refresher. By the time Obi-Wan emerged, looking every inch the proper Padawan (except the wrappers on his braid), Qui-Gon had finished his second cup of tea.
"I'm sorry I woke you last night, Master," Obi-Wan said, standing in front of him.
Qui-Gon nodded, accepting the apology. "There's Tumerian soup on the range if you want some."
If his nod hadn't been enough, Obi-Wan's stomach let out a growl that made him flush. He retrieved a bowl of the soup and a glass of milk, and sat down across from Qui-Gon with them. Qui-Gon waited until he'd nearly finished before speaking. "I was concerned about your reaction to that dream."
Obi-Wan's spoon stopped halfway to his mouth. "It was strange," he agreed.
"What did you feel?" Qui-Gon asked.
Obi-Wan contemplated his nearly-empty bowl for a moment. "Grief," he said finally. "As if something or someone I loved had been torn away from me."
Yes. That had woken Qui-Gon with its intensity. "Anything else?"
"Betrayal," Obi-Wan said, and hesitated. "There was this… feeling of wrongness," he went on, apparently searching for words, "as if you'd gone away and were unreachable. Like you shouldn't be there."
"I felt it, too," Qui-Gon said. "Out of place is the best way to put it. As if I didn't belong in your room, or anywhere near you." He'd promised Obi-Wan, before he'd chosen to train the boy, that he would stay out of his room unless invited. He'd broken that promise exactly twice - both due to Obi-Wan's nightmares. He did not intend to break it again.
Obi-Wan set his spoon down. "I don't understand, Master. Why... why would the Force make me feel that way?"
Qui-Gon paused, playing with the tea mug before him. "I don't know, Padawan. I felt it, too. I did not know if it was because you wished me gone."
Obi-Wan fell silent and began to eat again, and Qui-Gon's heart contracted within him. "No," the Padawan said finally. "You were welcome. But..." He hesitated, taking the last bite of his soup. "The dream that woke you wasn't my only dream." Whatever he had been about to say, he apparently did not want to say it.
"Was the other as disturbing?"
"One was. I dreamed of Master Sorin, but..." He hesitated again, almost as if he wished he hadn't brought it up. "But he spoke with your voice. That's never happened before."
"What did he say?"
Obi-Wan shifted nervously as he set the spoon in the empty bowl. "He said I was barely worth his time."
Qui-Gon's brow furrowed. Surely, Obi-Wan didn't think for a moment he felt that way. "I can imagine that was disturbing."
Obi-Wan got up to refill his bowl, as if he needed a little distance. "Yes. And I would have passed it off as nothing, the dream, I mean, since my braid was caught under my arm and it pulled, except for that." Obi-Wan gave a self-conscious half-shrug as he returned to the table and sat down again. "The other dream, after the one you know about, was nice." A smile lit his face, slowly, like a sun coming over the horizon. "I was... soaring, gliding over this... beautiful landscape, all green, with trees and a river. I knew I should have been worried about something, but it was too beautiful not to enjoy."
"A nice feeling?"
"It was amazing. There was this... feeling of freedom."
"I've had dreams like that," Qui-Gon said as he got up, refilled his mug from the teapot, and sat down again. "It was even a place I recognized - Arioch."
Obi-Wan's smile grew wider. "That would have been nice, to even go back in dreams."
"You'll go back, Padawan."
Obi-Wan gave him a curious look, but went back to his meal. Qui-Gon wondered at the look, and then realized why he'd gotten it. He'd said 'you', not 'we'. Strange slip of the tongue, since he'd been thinking about returning there sometime soon. But he still had not addressed what had so bothered him the night before. "Obi-Wan, what in your dream was so… devastating to you?"
Obi-Wan set his spoon down again, and Qui-Gon felt a flash of frustration from his Padawan. "I don't know," he said honestly. "It was as if… as if the attack was one more thing in a long line of things gone wrong, and then you were there and weren't supposed to be…." He trailed off, then shook his head. "I can't explain it better. I don't know what was wrong." He closed his eyes and released his frustration into the Force.
The comm unit chimed, indicating a message from the council, giving Obi-Wan a reprieve from trying to find more words. Qui-Gon waved it on. "Master Jinn," a generic electric voice said, "the council would hear your report immediately after late meal." He waved it off when the message finished. That gave them some time to get thoroughly checked in, and meant they'd have a chance to eat that evening as well.
Obi-Wan finished his soup and got up to put the bowl in the sink. "Thank you for the meal, Master," he said, and went back into his room to fix his braid and do whatever else he felt he needed.
Qui-Gon had just gotten up to fix another cup of tea, this one with muscle relaxers in it, when the comm chimed a more generic note. With a gesture, he activated it. "Qui-Gon Jinn speaking," he said.
This comm was from Mind Healer Ulani Satoru, wanting to schedule a visit with Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon set it up for the same time the dining hall began serving the late meal, two hours before the appointment with the council. He signed off and returned to his contemplation and his now cold fresh cup of tea.
Obi-Wan emerged a while later, his braid neat, markers in place, looking much more the Jedi Padawan he was. The black band on his braid stood out in sharp contrast to his other markers and his reddish hair. Obi-Wan used it to mark the time he'd left the Temple, thinking he'd killed his Master. Yoda had allowed the deviation from standard Padawan markers, but only after Obi-Wan had spoken in his own defense. He'd stated, firmly, that it would remind him to assess the situation correctly, and accept the consequences, rather than running off and finding himself in more trouble. Qui-Gon still had some doubts about the wisdom of allowing the wrap, but had no reason at the time to deny his Padawan the reminder.
"Master Satoru commed. He'd like to see you during the first hour of late meal."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan responded, looking up from the datapad he'd walked out of his room reading.
Qui-Gon leaned back in his chair and indulged in a bone-creaking stretch, and several of his joints cracked sharply. He had to hide a wince at the pain in his arms and back. The trip back to Coruscant hadn't been very comfortable for him.
"Stiff?" Obi-Wan asked knowingly.
"A little." He smiled back at his Padawan.
"I told you not to get yourself arrested. Those cells were uncomfortable for me because they were so small, and you were there longer." Obi-Wan set his datapad down on the table and took Qui-Gon's teacup.
"It was necessary," Qui-Gon said.
"Maybe." It was the first time Obi-Wan had conceded that point. Qui-Gon would have liked to see his Padawan's face, but he was refilling the teacup. "I was going to the heated pools near the Healer's Wing before meeting with Master Satoru. Do you want to come?"
Qui-Gon paused to consider. Obi-Wan still had assignments to complete, and he should suggest his Padawan work on those. After a moment, he decided against it. A little relaxation would do them both good, and the late meal would start soon - one reason he'd picked Tumarian soup when he'd risen. It wouldn't interfere with the meal this evening. "Yes, I think that is a good idea," he said.
A few moments later, they left their quarters. Obi-Wan looked over the datapad Qui-Gon had gotten him, and he noticed his Padawan grimace at it, although he didn't know if the grimace were directed at the loud design or the dream he read. They found swim trunks in the changing room, leaving their robes and everything there, and went into the hall.
The heated pools were located in a large hall not far from the Healer's wing. Sunken pools dotted the floor, a tough green plant ground cover filling the space between them instead of slippery cement. The low murmur of conversation filled the room as much as the humidity. Healers moved between the pools nearest the door, where their patients rested and soaked and recovered.
An occupant of one of the pools called a cheerful greeting to Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon had to look closely to recognize Obi-Wan's childhood friend. Garen had grown and filled out, bigger than Obi-Wan across the shoulders, and his hair had lightened. The main difference was the hint of pain in the way he sat, however, and Qui-Gon wondered if he were here by medical orders rather than choice. He smiled at the stab of pleasure and then embarrassment coming down the bond from his Padawan.
"It's okay, Obi-Wan. Go catch up with your friend. I will find another companion." He squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulder as Obi-Wan stammered his thanks.
Qui-Gov wove idly through the pools, nodding to those who greeted him until he found a pool holding a knight he hadn't seen in a long while. Her enthusiastic greeting made him feel welcome, and he willingly slipped into the pool with her, laying his towel within reach. Caught up in the conversation with her, he barely noticed how the water eased his aches.