"So, are you going to tell us what the 'big news' is, Martha?" Rose asked with a knowing smile as she took a sip of her tea. The Doctor raised a brow and looked over to the medical student. Blush covered her features and she bit her lip while looking down at her hands clasped under the table.
After their classes ended, the three of them had made their way to Donna's coffee shop. Donna was an old friend and employer of the Doctor. During the Doctor's freshman year he'd worked at The Noble Coffee Shoppe, or just The Noble for short, and formed a great friendship with Donna and her grandfather (the co-owner of the small shop). Donna was practically a sister to the Doctor now and he couldn't imagine what he'd do without her. Even though he hadn't worked The Noble in years, Donna still got drinks for him and his friends on the house. The Noble soon became the typical hang out place after classes, and much to Donna's delight. She loved hearing the students' gossip and stories of what had happened in their classes. No doubt she'd want to hear the "big news" Martha had.
"What 'big news?" the Doctor asked. Martha giggled and looked over to him with a big smile. Then she brought her left hand up and waved, displaying a silver band with three glimmering stones at its center. The Doctor's eyes widened and an open-mouthed grin played on his face.
"You got engaged!" he cried happily and took her hand to examine the beautiful ring.
"Yup!" Martha laughed. "Mickey asked me last night. Oh god you should have seen him! He was so nervous he almost dropped the ring when opened the box!"
"You should have seen him when he came to me asking me how he should propose!" Rose put in.
"He asked you how? Really?" Martha couldn't keep the smile off her face. "What'd you tell him?"
"I told him just go with it!" Rose said. "But he was so nervous. Shaking like a dog, he was. He probably rehearsed his speech to me over a hundred times! Wanted everything to be perfect."
"Oh and it was," Martha sighed happily.
"Oi! What you three smiling about?" Donna's loud voice called over to them from behind the counter. Turning in his chair the Doctor waved for her to come over.
"Martha's getting married!" he grinned and Martha blushed once more.
"Oh my god!" Donna cried happily and rushed over to their table to give the young woman a big hug. "I'm so happy for you! Now let me see those diamonds. Goodness, how did mister Mickey ever afford this?"
Martha laughed, "He said he'd been saving up ever since his countdown started."
Donna and Martha continued talking as Martha showed off her ring and began telling their ginger friend the story of Mickey's proposal. The Doctor smiled and his gaze drifted over the small table to Rose. She met his eyes and returned his smile with a giggle.
"So?" Donna asked Martha. "Have you two picked out a date yet?"
"Not yet," Martha said. "But we want to do it sometime after the semester."
The conversation continued happily, with Donna asking Martha the majority of the questions while the Doctor and Rose put in their thoughts here and there.
"This is all happening to fast it seems," Donna sighed with a smile. "Look at you! Having your soul clocks start and now getting married! First Jake, then Mickey and you, and Rose soon to be meeting her soulmate! Oh aren't you excited, Rose?"
"Oh, er," Rose fumbled, bringing a hand up to fiddle with her earring. "I'm—"
Rose didn't get to answer as the door to the shop opened and in bounced a very giddy, very smiley, Mickey Smith. Martha's face lit up immediately and Mickey skipped over to the table and wrapped his arms around his fiancée.
"Hey, babe, been looking all over for you," Mickey grinned and gave her a quick kiss. "Couldn't keep you off my mind all day."
"Mm, me neither," Martha hummed and wrapped her arm around his waist. Mickey seemed to finally realize that he and Martha were not the only two in the room and looked over to his friends with a wide grin.
"Oh hey guys!" he said. "I suppose Martha's already told you."
"Congratulations," the Doctor smiled. "To the both of you."
"You, my friend, are going to be one of my groomsmen," Mickey grinned. "I'd make you my best man, but I already promised Jack."
"You wouldn't want me as your best man anyways," the Doctor snorted. "I'm rubbish at bachelor parties."
Mickey laughed and Martha said to Rose and Donna, "Both of you have to be bridesmaids for me, promise?"
"Of course," Donna smiled. "Is Tish the maid of honor?"
Martha nodded, "She probably wouldn't even come to the wedding if I she wasn't."
Donna then began asking Mickey for his story of preparing for his proposal. Mickey delivered his tale with all smiles, rubbing Martha's shoulders lovingly the whole while. The Doctor watched the two with a small smile. They were great together. In their two months together they'd grown so close to one another that it was plain to see they were meant for no one else; a perfect example of soulmates.
The Doctor glanced over to Rose. She had been quiet ever since Donna has asked her about her countdown. Rose was looking down at her tea, spinning the liquid slowly with her spoon. There was a smile on her face, but it seemed almost forced. As if she wanted to be happy, but something else was hindering her from doing so. She had her arm resting on the table exposing the moving tattoo on her forearm.
02·00·08·24·56
Two more weeks. In two weeks she would finally meet her own soulmate. And then what? Would she get engaged in two months like Martha and Mickey? The Doctor didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to think about some man rubbing her shoulder, hugging her, or kissing her. Some man she hardly even knew.
The Doctor felt something crawling at the pit of his stomach. Anger? Hatred to someone he hadn't even met? No, it wasn't that. It was that same sick feeling he'd had before. The Doctor watched the numbers on Rose's arm decrease. Slowly and steadily they counted down, and with each second the Doctor felt the sick feeling increase.
Rose looked up and followed the Doctor's line of sight. Quickly she turned her arm, covering the tattoo. The Doctor glanced up and met her gaze. She held it for a second before turning away. Something flashed in her eyes. Just for a moment the Doctor could have sworn he saw sadness reflected in them. The Doctor shook the thought away and followed Rose's example and looked back to Mickey and Martha. Why would Rose be sad? In two weeks she'd become just as happy as the engaged couple before them. And in two weeks, Rose would drift away from him and he'd be alone once more.
A couple hours later, Rose and the Doctor were relaxing in his apartment. Well, Rose was relaxing on his bed reading while the Doctor sat on the floor fiddling with his homemade sonic probe. Along with studying the properties and mysteries of the soul clocks, the Doctor enjoyed building and taking apart new technology. His current project was to improve his sonic prove and expand its uses. In high school, his senior project had been building a robotic dog as a companion to an old friend of his. Sarah Jane was also one of the strange cases in which she was nearing her sixties and her countdown still had not started. Some people's never did. But not having their soul clock start didn't mean they didn't have a soulmate, it only meant that they never crossed paths. At least that was what the majority of the Doctor's research told him.
As the Doctor tightened a screw on the probe, he looked down at his exposed forearm. The same ten digit number shined on his skin as a cruel reminder. Sighing softly he leaned his head back against the bedside.
"Can't get it to work right?" Rose asked him. The Doctor looked over to her and it took him a few moments to register that she was talking about the probe in his hands and not his soul clock.
"Oh, yeah," he sniffed. "Still got a ways to go. But I'll get it eventually."
"Course you will," Rose smiled. Folding her book and setting it on the covers, she changed position so that she was sitting cross-legged behind him. Softly she began carding her fingers through his hair, creating different patterns as she massaged his head. The Doctor hummed appreciatively, feeling the tension draw out of him. His day had been so busy with his studies and then new information and congratulations to Mickey and Martha's engagement, it felt good to just take a break.
Since the Doctor was in the graduate program, he had a lot more time consuming work than his friends. Most nights he spent poured over his studies. Rose knew this of course, but instead of reading at the dorms she liked to stay at his apartment. She never bothered him and simply provided company to which the Doctor greatly appreciated. It also helped that the Doctor's flat was quite literally across the street from the college. When the Doctor and his friends weren't at The Noble, they used his place as a relaxation spot. The Doctor owned a wide collection of books and video games and he didn't mind sharing what he had with his friends. His only rule was that when he needed to study, no one bother him. That is, no one but Rose. She didn't listen to his little rule anyways, and he didn't mind.
The Doctor wanted to spend every last moment he could with Rose in the short time he had before her countdown ended. He tried not to think about the future and how her life would change, and how his life would change when he let her go… but could he? It didn't matter. He had to. Rose deserved all the happiness in the world, all the happiness he couldn't give her. He wasn't her soulmate. Someone else was; someone who was whole and not broken like the Doctor was.
"You never answered Donna's question," the Doctor murmured looking up at Rose. "Back at the shop."
"Oh, yeah, guess I didn't," Rose returned.
"So? Are you excited to meet your soulmate?"
"No," Rose sighed and looked away. "I'm just… I'm just nervous."
"Don't be," the Doctor gave her smile. "Everything will be brilliant."
Rose flicked her brows and looked down at him incredulously, "What, are you some expert on meeting soulmates now too?"
"Well, I have devoted my dissertation to the study of the essence of soul clocks," the Doctor drawled. "So, kinda am?"
"Oh, shut up," Rose grinned, giving his hair a tug. He smiled smugly up at her in return to which she rolled her eyes. They both stayed silent for a few minutes after that. Rose continued her ministrations on his head and the Doctor gradually felt tiredness seep into his bones. He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the night like this.
"How old were you when your countdown started?" Rose's voice sounded far away as the Doctor felt himself succumbing to sleep.
Tiredly, he mumbled, "Twenty-one."
Rose nodded and continued to play with his hair gently.
"Doctor?" Rose's timid voice woke him up more.
"Hm?"
Rose paused and bit her lip before continuing, "Why did your clock stop?"
Opening his eyes, the Doctor glanced down to the still numbers on his forearm. He remembered how excited he was when he woke up to find his countdown had started. The memory was just as strong as the day he realized they had stopped and never would move again.
"I don't really know," the Doctor sighed.
"You've studied soul clocks for ages, Doctor," Rose said. "You have a theory at least, right?"
"It's impossible to know for sure," the Doctor muttered as he traced the faint green digits with his finger. "But the most likely possibility is… that my soulmate is dead. They died before I could meet them. And so part of me is dead too. Part of me which I'll never know, and never be able to fix. I'm… I'm broken, Rose. And I'll always be alone."
The Doctor lifted himself off the bedside and pulled away from her touch. Standing up, he paced the room briefly before walking over to the end of the bed and sitting down. Bringing his hands up, he covered his face wishing he could block out the world. He didn't want to be reminded anymore of his life alone. Every time he looked at his arm was a reminder of all the things he wished he could change. Why did he have to lose his soulmate? Why did he have to be alone? Why did he now have to lose Rose?
The Doctor heard Rose move down the bed to sit next to him. She brought her hand to his face and gradually pulled his hands down. Cupping his cheek, she turned his head to look up at her.
"You're not broken to me, Doctor," she said with a small smile. "I think you're brilliant, and absolutely perfect."
Rose gave his cheek a stroke and he leaned forward to press a lingering kiss to his forehead. He wished he could kiss her. Wished he could tell her how he loved her. But he never could. He wasn't allowed to love her—she would never love him the same way.
Reaching out, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Rose smiled and pressed her head into his shoulder, bringing her hand up to rub his neck softly.
"You aren't alone either," She murmured, turning slightly to give his cheek a kiss. "I'll always be here."
The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut and hid his face in her hair. He wished he could believe her. It's all he wanted in this world.
"No you won't," the Doctor whispered, so softly that he knew Rose wouldn't hear.