Chapter 8: Endings
I awoke early and stood in the shower letting the water flow over me. Today will be the end of everything or a remission, to grasp at any relationship I can salvage. The numbness that settles over me makes me doubt that I can feel anything much for anyone anymore.
Yusef...James...the two organizations making me do things I don't want to do, just for this quickly fading illusion of love and future.
I send a text to White telling him that I am going for the money early and that Mathis left and was taken by MI6. I can make sure White gets the money, if he assures me that James will be left alone. I don't wait long for a response.
Fine...I will leave MI6 alone and the manager will give you the money regardless of password. Those men you met are acquaintances of mine...give them the cash before M can get to it.
I dress in a red wrap dress and leave my mobile on the bedside table. I enter the suite to see James having a coffee and reading a paper.
"Good morning." I say and it sounds so damn formal to my ears. I hope he cannot read me enough to know I am about to betray them again.
"Good morning. Where are you off to...meeting up with another lover?"
I don't dignify his scathing remark, and try to remain light despite my growing feelings of panic and dread.
"If there are no immediate plans for us to leave for whatever M has planned, I thought I could go out."
"We will be collecting the money at 11:00 or when armed back up arrives and then directly back to London."
"Fine...I am going to take a walk and get some pastries for breakfast. I would ask you to come with me but I am sure...your handler would not approve nor would you leave her side."
"My handler...has never betrayed me."
"No how could she...so perfect in your eyes." The fury is building within me and I just want to smash his face for being so arrogant.
"James don't be so bloody smug and self righteous. You would have done no less for M than what I have done for Yusef!"
"No...I would have found another way. You could have found another way." James says with pity in his eyes.
"I did what I could...I stopped them from killing you!"
"You did...or the money did?"
"They still want that money you know that."
"Yes and I am prepared to make sure that does not happen."
"So you will risk the woman you care for so much and you will toss our chance at happiness away. James how will you take M into the belly of the beast and get a suitcase full of money and still hope to live? It will be mayhem just like the retreat. How many died there?"
"I will not let anything happen to her...nor will the highly trained agents that will be surrounding us. Mathis is in custody in London and you will be also by the end of the day. M has promised leniency for the both of you because of what little help you have provided."
"Am I allowed to leave then?"
"Yes...an agent will be following you and once the exchange is made and I get M out of the line of fire, I will chase down White and his cronies from Quantum."
I move to the door and look back at him. "I hope you forgive me eventually James and it would be safer for you to leave White alone. I do hope you get the one woman you truly want. Don't waste time...M may not have much left."
James stands and moves over to me quickly. "What in hell do you mean by that?"
"I'm hardly threatening M, but get her while you have the chance or she will die and leave you bitter in your unrequited desire for her. And yes, I think you require a psychologist to work on your...obvious mother issues."
"Give your bitter tongue a rest Vesper."
I can't stop myself...the sarcasm just screams to be let loose on him in this situation.
"James I am only trying to bring you together with the old woman who dominates your life in every way. Time will be an issue for you but if you hasten the death of her husband...that would leave her free after a brief showing of public grief. But, Then again...you could just take her up against his casket the way you take all your women...fast and hard...barely leaving us time to breathe."
"You really can be a vicious bitch when you are jealous Vesper. Insinuating that Mathis and M...and now this...really how childish."
"At least I feel enough for you to be jealous. Are you truly jealous about what may or may not have happened between Mathis and M while I was gone for 2 hours? Let me reassure you then...M is a pillar of ice...Mathis couldn't thaw her and he was scared of you...that is why he tried to get out so fast. I wish you good luck trying to warm her up, I have my doubts that you can do it."
James looks angry enough to strike me.
"I am tired of fighting her for you. So, James am I done here?"
"Yes...I guess we are both done here."
The look of anger and disappointment on his face is brutal.
I see M come out of the room behind him in the wrap dress I bought her yesterday. It thought she could use a younger look something exactly like what I am wearing for comparisons sake. Damn and blast it does actually look good on her. Now that M has a young lover she should look the part.
"M you look lovely. I knew you could pull off that dress. The blue really brings out your ice cold eyes...don't you agree Bond?"
James is staring at M, he instinctively licks his lips and my heart clenches in my chest to witness it. I am throwing everything away for Yusef and I find I don't want to give up James but it is already too bloody late.
The damage is done and James detests me now...I have goaded him into acknowledging his buried feelings for M. I really forced him to hate me, like I am beginning to hate myself.
"Where do you think you are going Vesper?" M asks.
"Just to get some pastries...I will be right back."
I cannot stop the single tear that manages to escapes before I get out the door. I hear Bond ask M if she wants him to get me back.
I don't stay I run for the stairs. Instead of going down I climb up two floors and find the service elevator just incase M calls for me to come back.
I exit the rear of the hotel and get into a cab. I sit in a cafe and look for a tail. I get up to use the WC and hand some bills to my server as I run through the kitchen and out the back. I find another taxi and make my way to the bank.
I sit in the bank in a comfortable chair as I await the manager and my contacts. I am early but MI6 will not be far behind.
When all is said and done Bond will find my mobile and have the contact information and texts to Mr. White to do with as he pleases.
The man from yesterday arrives through the side door just as I see M and James arrive through the main entrance with two guards.
M frowns at me the moment her eyes light upon me. I get up quickly and head to the left and the men from yesterday who have pulled out pistols on seeing Bond.
James pushes M behind him and pulls his own pistol.
The man grabs me pressing a gun to my head. "We will be leaving soon...don't be foolish Mr. Bond or your woman will pay the price."
I practically scoff at the idea that James even cares or considers me his woman. In his mind now I am just another mark...used and useless. His woman is behind him while I am between two guns pointed in my direction.
I am not going to survive this.
Bond yells for the other patrons to leave and the guards to take M. One of them does and James looks at his face as if to gage weather this one is trustworthy enough to be near his beloved boss.
M protests but leaves the building. "Go ahead then...do what you came here for and we will take this outside." James says.
The staff of the bank are cowering behind the rise unable to flee as the patrons were.
I am a bit shocked at this but move to the side and the manager. I punch in the account code and he brings me a large silver case...it was all prepared beforehand...they knew I would be here.
The manager looks incredibly nervous and is sweating profusely. White has some of his loved ones as leverage...this is how Quantum works.
The open case is full of Euros. Stacked in neat piles. I close the case and the man with the glasses grabs it from my hands and links his arm through mine as we walk past Bond and out into the daylight.
The alarm sounds from the bank and then the man swears and pulls me along at a run. James is running after us.
Perhaps James does still care after all, and they underestimated his abilities and MI6's stratagem. The way things have been going one of us is getting shot at soon, I imagine.
They drag me into a building under construction and toss me into a caged lift with a chain. Leaving me behind for bloody MI6 to deal with...damn them.
How will I get to Paris in a week to see if Yusef is truly alive?
Bond tears in after them and shots and bangs echo through the building...it shifts! Damn it...it is sinking!
Christ...water is coming in...oh my god. This is it...this is how I am going to die.
The water fills as I ponder my life or what is left of it. I realize that it would never really work. Yusef is likely dead and James hates me. White will kill me for any perceived double cross, or MI6 will put me in jail and then Quantum will have me taken out in my cell.
The moment they contacted me for the ransom and I agreed, my fate was sealed. At least I had a few passionate weeks with James Bond.
The water fills up...I hold my breath.
James swims down and tries to unwind the chain...I grab his hand and stare at him as I take a large gulp of water...I feel it enter my lungs...
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Venice safe house:
Aching drenched and emotionally exhausted. I retrieved Vesper's body...tried to revive her but she was gone.
I eventually make it back to the hotel...there is an agent there to help me clean the room of our things. I find Vesper's mobile and then head to the safe house and M.
I feel numb...the cold the water and Vesper. I loved her like no other woman...but she was right.
I love M more. M...she I love in different ways. I need her to be my mentor, my judge my conscience and my straight arrow through the bullshit that is this job. I respect her more than any other person in my life and somewhere along the way...I fell in love with her.
It was easy to ignore the love I have for M...because I did not recognize it as sexual for a long time. Just because of the age difference I could not recognize my feelings for what they were...lust...love...desire.
Every once in a while M would do something or say something and I could feel my heartbeat increase and arousal coursing through my veins.
M is married and off limits regardless of my desire for her. Vesper, if she taught me anything, it was that life is too short and I have to tell M that these feelings are real not imagined. I just hope M believes me.
M was placed in a great deal of danger on this mission and I don't like it from the time she arrived.
I will have words and then strangle Mathis with my bare hands when I see him again.
M is waiting for me when I arrive. She dismisses the other men so we may speak in private.
"I could not get the case of money back...it may still be under the building."
"The money was a ruse. I transferred the balance out the moment Mathis had his shower. There are tracers on the bills and most of them are fake. The bank manager's family is safe and other than loosing men...and Vesper we have battled a new foe and succeeded."
"Speaking of Mathis...what did happen there?
M just smirks at me and I could swear there is a twinkle in her blue eyes. "He tried...I declined. Mathis is being released and will work for us...but we will keep a wary eye on him."
"Yes...I can take care of him if he should step out of line again."
"I thought you and Mathis were friends?"
"Friends don't...mess with my...someone's...boss."
M smiles at me trying not to chuckle at my stumbling.
"James on a serious note, I think she really did love you in her own way. Yusef was part of this mess from the beginning. Deep down Vesper knew that she would not survive. She bartered for your life too in the end."
"White is still out there. I need to find him. You and I need to see this through. I know where he is...the numbers and address is in her mobile that she left behind for us to find."
"Bond, I think you need time before you come back."
"M...I never left."
"Just saying that does not conclude you from grief over her death. You loved her...almost gave all this up to sail around the world with her."
"How did you know that?"
"Q found your draft resignation letter on your laptop...all the files were looked at."
"I hope you weren't snooping through my browser history too."
M smiled. "No...I think that would be an invasion of privacy…much like hacking into my personnel file."
"Touche, M. I don't suppose you would like to sail that boat back to London with me? MI6 and the British government owns it after all."
M laughed. "No…I would hardly be desirable company for such a trip Bond."
"Why do you say that M...I can think of a lot of things the two of us could spend our time doing."
"Don't be ridiculous and besides...I get seasick."
I can't believe she is even entertaining the thought...M is actually flirting back! Damn if she doesn't make my heart skip a beat.
"I could distract your stomach...with romance."
M laughs. "Only if your idea of a romantic cruise...with me involves a lot of hanging over the side and looking entirely too green."
"I think you would look adorable green M."
M looks at me questioningly as she tries to gage the validity of my flirtations. "Bond I'm an old, married woman and I am certainly not going to sleep with you so stop before someone else hears you flirting shamelessly with your boss."
M's voice says no but her eyes have a flirtatious glint that I have never seen directed at me before. M will not easily be seduced...I never thought she would be. All I can do is let her know...know how I feel and that this is not a joke. I have to let her judge my words and actions.
"Vesper knew and she was right."
"What are you on about 007?"
"I am in love with you M and I am just wasting time if I do not tell you that every single time I see you."
M frowns as I pull her into an embrace. I hook my finger under her chin and lift her lovely face to meet mine as I gently kiss her.
I only have a few fleeting moments before she pulls away. I know that she will likely slap me for my cheek but damn, It's worth it.
M pulls away from me looking shocked...a bit angry but also surprisingly intrigued.
"James! Unhand me now!"
M turns to walk away but I grab her shoulders and pull her back up against my body, holding her there.
I whispers in her ear. "I will wait for you M, you and this is far from over."
I kiss her neck and then release a confused and befuddled M. She rushes to disappear into the other room as fast as her legs can carry her.
Vesper was right about time and chances.
One day when Vesper's betrayal loses its sting, I may just thank her for introducing me to love.
The end.