Why am I hesitating? I have to talk to her soon. It's been two weeks and I can't seem to make it happen. I've missed my best chances to talk to Meredith. Why am I hesitating so much?

I'm a coward, that's why.

It doesn't help that Meredith's avoiding being alone with me. I finally noticed it the other night.

"Mer! I just remembered I didn't finish that essay for Kapoor on the Magellanic Clouds. Did you finish it?"

"Oh, bugger. I completely forgot about that. I've been so worried about Transfiguration." Meredith shuts her Transfiguration textbook in a panic. "That essay's due tomorrow, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Wanna go work on it in the library?"

Meredith hesitates. "Can't we just work here?" she motions to the couch she's been studying on and Fred, who is lying on the floor working on his Charms homework.

"We need that star globe of the Southern Hemisphere that's in there, though." Fred's pretending not to listen, but he totally is. I ignore him.

"Umm," Meredith looks around nervously. "Why don't you bring it back here?"

"It's five feet in diameter, Mer." Why won't she just come to the library? What's making her so nervous?

"Heh, right…" Mer's eyes dart to Fred. "Fred! Do you want to come to the library with us?"

Fred looks up, feigning ignorance of our conversation. "Oh no, I'm quite settled here. I don't need to go. You two go on."

I roll my eyes as Mer starts frantically scanning the room. I flip Fred off and he winks and gives me a thumbs up.

"Mer, let's just go. It's not like we can't study by ourselves." Meredith just gives a short 'hah' in response. Why can't we just go to the library? I really just want this essay over and done with.

"Long, do you need to go to the Library?"

Long glances up from his post at one of the work tables in the common room. "Well," he starts, "I was just going to work here, but I guess the library would be a good place to work-"

"Wonderful," Meredith interrupts. She reaches over and starts packing up Long's school things for him. "Let's go."

The walk to the library is the most awkward experience of my life. The three of us travel in silence, Long walking tensely between me and Mer.

Long takes a breath and stops walking. "You know, I think I left my good quill back in the common room. I should probably go back and get that."

Meredith turns to him with a frown. "I'll let you borrow one of mine," she says tersely.

"Oh, no. I really think I should just go back and get mine." And without another word, Long turns on the spot and rushes back down the corridor, Mer glaring at his retreating figure.

"Yeah… he's not coming back," I say in an attempt to break the tension.

"Let's just go," she huffs, and we walk in silence once more. I watch her out of the corner of my eye. Did I do something to make her angry? Meredith is walking as if Long were still between us. The large space between us starts to feel oddly symbolic. I attempt to close the gap by moving a half-step forward, but Mer moves the same amount away from me again.

It truly is a relief to reach the library. We enter and walk through the shelves of books to the location of the star globe. A few of our other Astronomy classmates are present and Meredith seems to relax as we approach the massive sphere.

Mer and I settle down to work at a table near the star globe. "Alright, then. We're gonna rock this out." Meredith immediately pulls out blank parchment, her Astronomy notes, and a self-inking dip pen, but I just look at her, wondering about her change of attitude. "What?" she asks, noticing my gaze.

"Nothing really. You just seem to be acting odd."

Mer grips her pen tightly, and turns her attention back to her paper. I remember when she got that pen before fifth year. Meredith had been so fed up with having to keep replacing and sharpening all of her quills, she went out and bought the pen at a muggle antique shop and charmed it to self-ink herself. She had dragged me along with her into Muggle London after our mates abandoned us on Diagon Alley for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. I had gotten the mickey taken out of me by Phil and Roger after Mer had gone home that day.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asks as she titles her essay.

I smile and lean forward. "I mean, if I didn't know better, I'd say you didn't want to be alone with me."

The sharp tip of Meredith's pen pokes through her parchment. "Bloody hell," she whispers under her breath.

I cock an eyebrow in confusion as Meredith ducks under the table to her school bag sitting on the floor. Usually, she is much cooler about bigger things than a hole poked in a piece of parchment. Mer sits back up and pushes the hair out of her face; her face is bright red.

"Are you okay?" I ask, concerned.

"Hmm?" She looks at me, alarmed.

"You're all red." Her hands fly to her cheeks as they grow even redder.

"I'm fine," she says quickly. She drops her hands and pulls a stray bit of hair behind her ear. "Why would you think that I didn't want to be alone with you? That's absolutely ridiculous. I don't know what could have made you say that." She says all of this quickly, avoiding looking at me.

"Uh… alright." I pull out my own supplies and watch apprehensively as Meredith stares daggers at her essay. I scrawl my name at the top of page while watching Mer, out of the corner of my eye, get out of her chair and stalk over to the star globe. I watch her back curiously when it hits me like Meredith herself slapped me in the face.

She really doesn't want to be alone with me.

I haven't been alone with her since.

Not for lack of trying. I've been trying for a week to talk to her alone, but every time I psych myself up enough to approach her, she comes up with some excuse (usually her git of a boyfriend) and disappears.

At least Quidditch practice has been fantastic. It feels brilliant to be back in the swing of things and our team is playing better than ever. The Quidditch cup will be ours for sure this year! We just have to stomp Slytherin into the ground, again, this year, and we'll be well on our way.

"Oi! James!" A flick on my ear causes me to spill the cup of pumpkin juice I was holding.

"Bloody hell!" I turn to find Albus holding out a small scroll tied with a red ribbon.

"McGonagall told me to give you this."

"Did you have to flick my ear, though?" I ask, taking the scroll in my right hand and rubbing my ear with my left. "You know I hate that."

"All the more reason to do it," he responds cheekily. What a tosser. "You might want to read that soon. Blakely got hurt at practice yesterday and I think they appealed to McGonagall to have the match postponed."

I turn back to the table and open the note quickly.

Mr. Potter,

Upon notice of Randolph Blakely's recent injury, the Slytherin house team has requested the match to be postponed. However, Brandon Hughes, captain of the Hufflepuff house team has offered to play Gryffindor in place of the Slytherin team in the upcoming match. I have agreed to this arrangement and await your confirmation to have the schedules changed. Please respond by the end of the day.

Professor M. McGonagall

Headmistress, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Pulling a quill out of my pocket, I quickly turn the note over and scribble on the back:

Professor,

That's fine with me. Thanks for letting me know.

JSP

And with a tap of my wand, the parchment folds itself into a small airplane and zooms away.

"What's going on, James?" Phillip is looking at me, obviously concerned.

"We're playing Hufflepuff, not Slytherin, in the first match." I grab a paper napkin and tear it into five pieces, writing the same message on each of them.

"What?" I nod my head in response as I finish writing the last note. "Is two and a half weeks going to be enough time to prepare for that?"

"It'll have to be, but I'm not worried about it. You lot have been really strong at practice, recently." I tuck my wand and quill into my pocket, hitting a small box I tucked in there earlier, and get up from the table, dusting the remnants of my lunch off the front of my robes. "By the way, Phil," I say, turning back to him. He has stood up as well and is smirking at me.

"Let me guess, Emergency Team Meeting?"

I smile, bemused. "You got it." I stuff the sloppy notes into my other pocket. "Everyone has a free period next, right?"

"Pretty sure, James. You're the one who should know, seeing as you have scheduled practice during this time before."

"Great. Now, the charm I used on McGonagall's note doesn't work too well if you don't know exactly where to tell the note to go. I'm gonna have to get the Map to send these out to everyone else." We exit the Great Hall together and stand in the Entrance Hall.

"Alright. I'll go to the library to see if anyone is there and then meet up with you in the dorm."

"Sounds good," I reply, waving as Phillip heads off to the right. I make my way up to our dormitory as quickly as I can, taking a shortcut and skipping steps. Despite the fact I go running on a regular basis, I'm thoroughly winded as I pull open the Fat Lady's portrait and enter Gryffindor Tower. Breathing rhythmically to steady my pulse, I walk much more calmly up the spiral staircase to the boy's dorms.

I enter my room and walk over to my bed and open the drawer of my little bedside table. I dig through the odd rubbish that somehow always seems to build up in this drawer. Pulling out the scrap bits of paper (and causing a small pile of trash to collect around my feet), I eventually find the familiar fold of yellowed parchment and pull it out. I hear the door open and shut behind me and look over my shoulder and see Roger walking in with a pile of textbooks and a quill behind his ear.

"Hey James," he says. He sounds defeated. "Ugh. So much for a ruddy Runes study group! Remind me, again, why I decided to take this class when it's filled with obnoxious Ravenclaws."

He sets the stack of books on his trunk. "I believe the name 'Francine Mynatt' comes to mind," I say with a laugh, standing up with the Map in my hand and shoving the drawer closed. Roger flips me off and falls back on his bed. As much as Roger rags on Ravenclaws (and with Corner being one, who wouldn't?), he has been failing to woo Francine since third year. I say failing because she hasn't ever given him the time of day… seriously. He once asked her what time it was and she completely ignored him.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The Map flourishes into existence in my hands.

Roger rolls over onto his stomach and looks at me. "What have you got the map out for?"

"We have an E.T.M." I scan the map looking for my first targets. Lorcan and Lysander are in the Great Hall eating their own lunch, most likely. I must have missed them by going shortcuts to Gryffindor Tower. I pull out a rather crumpled note I had written previously and tapped it with my wand. The scrap of napkin manages to fold itself up into a passable paper airplane and flies away, a little wobbly.

"What? Why?" Roger pushed himself to his feet and walks over to me.

I start searching the map for my next target: Fred. "I'll tell everyone at the same time at the meeting. I still need to send notices to Mer and Fred, though."

Roger says something, but as he does, I see something odd on the Map, causing me to miss whatever he was saying. I found Fred… but he wasn't alone. There is a familiar name dot next to his. The two dots are close… in a broom cupboard… on a narrow, rarely used hallway. That's why she was at Quidditch trials. I snort loudly and Roger gives me a funny look.

"You okay, mate?" I nod and tap the note for Fred with a sly smile on my face. He's going to know I know as soon as this note starts flapping around his head. Using flimsy paper for memo airplanes has its advantages, one being that they can fit through spaces under doors, so that's not going to stop them from reaching their intended persons.

"Phillip's down in the common room. I want to meet in the spare classroom near McGonagall's office, but I told him to meet me here. Go ahead and head down there with him. I gotta find Mer, first, and then I'll meet you there."

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Roger shouts with a small salute and a smirk before bolting out the door.

I shake my head in amusement as I return to searching the Map. I'm having a hard time locating Meredith's name in the sea of students. I open the map a bit further to expose the outer corridors and classrooms and see 'Travis Corner' in a classroom on the opposite side of the castle near the Owlery. There's another name close by, and I divert my eyes before I can properly read it. I know who it is. I can't bear to actually see her name there.

A flash of memory from the first time I saw them together on the Map causes my stomach to drop. Mer has already told me off once for spying on her with the Map (even if it was completely on accident). That's the whole reason I stuffed it in the back of that drawer and haven't touched it in two weeks. There's no way I could send her a note without her knowing I was 'spying' on her.

So do I drag her to the meeting and risk her fury or leave her be? Either way, Mer's probably gonna find out that I saw her and her git boyfriend on the Map, again.

"Mischief managed."

I'm not going to bother them, as much as I want to break up their little two-tongue tango. Mum is right. Mer's an adult. I'm an adult. I need to act like one and let Meredith do her own thing.

I place the Map back in the drawer of my nightstand. I take a deep breath and knead my eyes with my palms before grabbing my binder of Qudditch plays and information and head out of the Tower for the meeting.

I push open the portrait hole to see, to my bewilderment, Meredith's surprised face on the other side.

"Merlin's pants, James! That scared me." She holds her right hand over her heart while her left holds her bag over her shoulder.

I just stare at her.

Meredith looks to the left and then back at me. "James? Are you alright?"

My tongue seems to have forgotten how to function.

"Umm… I saw Phillip in the Library. He said we were having an E.T.M." The Library? Wasn't she just on the other side of the castle?

I find my voice. "How did you get here?"

Mer furrows her brow in confusion. "I walked?"

"How did you see Phil in the library?"

"I was working on a Potions essay there… why? What's going on?"

"So," I start cautiously. I may give myself away, but I have to know, now. "You weren't on the hall to the Owlery just now?"

Meredith looks very concerned. "Is everything okay, James. You're acting a bit dodgy."

"Were you or weren't you?" I almost shout.

"No!" Meredith yells, completely confused and clearly not very happy about it.

No. She was not near the Owlery. She just came from the Library.

I take another deep breath and will my anger to subside. There's a chance I'm wrong. I didn't read the name. Either he's just meeting with a friend… in a deserted classroom…

…or he's cheating, the voice in my head whispers. My blood turns to ice at the thought.

I can't take it. I hurl my binder out of the open portrait hole and storm out into the corridor. I'm going to kill him.

"James!" Mer sounds positively frightened. "James, calm down." She's grabbing my arm and pulling me to stop.

Her touch brings me back. I look down on her wide, deep blue eyes and semi-deflate. What am I going to do now?

"James…" I don't say anything, but pull her in close to me and embrace her. I breathe in her scent and feel my anger subside, for now.

She's rubbing my back as we stand in the middle of the corridor, alone. "I'm sorry, Mer."

"You just scared me, is all," she laughs. She tries to pull back from the hug, but I don't release her.

I mean it for more than just this situation, but she doesn't know it. I'm sorry I'm a horrible friend, I say to her in my head. I'm sorry Travis Bloody Corner might be cheating on you. I'm sorry I'm going to have to be the one to tell you, eventually. I'm sorry you're going to be hurt, again.

***"Remember, you're the only one Mer's ever listened to. If I'm right, and she does fancy you, you could save her a lot of pain."***

Rose's voice echoes in my head. I have my chance now. I could tell her exactly what I saw and how I feel. I could even show her on the map if she doesn't believe it. I open my mouth, but the words don't come.

I finally release Meredith and turn by back to her. I can't let her see the tears in my eyes right now. I can't tell her.

Coward, my brain scolds. I can't argue with it. It's true.

Meredith hasn't said anything for a long while. I act like I'm rubbing my nose in order to clear my eyes and turn back towards her. "I guess we should head to the room. The guys will take the mickey out of me if I'm late to my own meeting."

Meredith gives me a nervous smile. "So, business as usual, then?"

I sniff and smile, motioning down the hall and holding out my arm. "Shall we, m'lady."

"I would be honored, good sir." And with an overdramatic curtsy and a brilliant smile, she takes my arm and we make our way towards our destination.

***Quoted from Rose in Chapter 12 'Come Back to Me'