Three hours later, I'm in my room, lying on my bed once more. The weekend no longer seems as appealing. I can't enjoy myself when I know Meredith's miserable and it's my fault. How could I be so stupid?

My stomach growls loudly. I missed breakfast, but I just don't want to talk to anyone right now. Maybe I'll just go down to the kitchens under the Invisibility Cloak. Yeah. That sounds like a good plan.

I sit up on my bed, sniff and realize I still haven't showered after my jog. Grabbing my towel, I walk into the bathroom hoping nobody comes into the room while I'm in here. I turn the water to cold, as always. My clarity-of-mind after my jog has been completely interrupted and hopefully this shower will work the wonders it usually does.

As the water washes over me, I try to think of what to do. Any chance I may have had with Meredith has been totally ruined when I kissed her. What kind of unfeeling arse do I have to be to do that to her? Some stupid prat broke her heart and a different stupid prat took advantage of her needing me… well, someone… to comfort her.

I may have been a prat, but I really just want her to know how much better things would be if she were with me.

You bloody moron, my brain scolds, she didn't need convincing right then. She needed you to be there and shut your stupid mouth.

I want to kick myself… hard… or maybe let someone else do it for me. I owe Fred one. Maybe he'll return my punch to the gut. I feel like I deserve one more than he did when I punched him to begin with. How could I be so thoughtless?

I need to find a house elf or something that will follow me around and slap me over the head whenever I'm about to do something stupid. Aunt Hermione would probably have a fit if I did that to a house elf. The only thing, or person, rather, that could possibly do it better is Meredith. She's has plenty of experience at doing just that if she wants to make that her new occupation.

I get out of the shower and dress myself. I have no intention of leaving this room today seen, so who really cares if I'm dressed only in a pair of shorts. Three quarters of the females in the school would probably faint if I decided to walk around like this…

I duck automatically and freeze. Did I just dodge a Mer-slap To the Head? What am I going to do without Meredith? I'm going to start getting away with thinking like that and Merlin knows that won't lead anywhere good.

Now: the kitchens. I dig through my trunk looking for the Cloak to no avail. I frown and pull out an unfamiliar piece of parchment with Took the Cloak for an emergency date. kthnxbai. –Roger and Phillip scrawled sloppily on it. They probably wrote it in the dark while I was asleep last night.

Tossers. There goes my food.

I flop back down on my bed and look over at my trunk tucked away in the corner. Leaning against the wall, forgotten for the past couple weeks, sits my guitar. My pulse races when I remember that day Meredith gave it to me; my birthday. Playing had been such an escape during my Quidditch ban and now, I can't think of anything I would rather do.

I get up and carefully bring the case over my bed. The polished wood gleams under the light from the room as I lift the instrument out of its nesting place. Feeling the familiar neck in my left hand and the metal strings under my fingers, I start to relax. My mind is brought back to a warm summer evening with Fred and Mer and I smile sadly. It wasn't that long ago, but life felt a whole lot simpler.

I dig a pick out of my bedside table and settle back to play. I play a couple of chords to get the feel of the guitar once again. Learning to do something so different from anything I've ever done was and is so satisfying; I'm finding it's pulling my mind away from the chaos that has been plaguing me and going into a calm I need.

Picking through a melody that feels familiar I lean back against the wall. I know so many songs from listening to wizard bands and some muggle artists that I don't run out of things to play. I pick and strum my way through songs and close my eyes, letting the relaxing feeling of the music calm my brain and lift my spirits.

"James?" a familiar voice calls, breaking me out of my trance. I open my eyes and see Reid looking at me impressed. "Whoa, I didn't know you actually played. All this time I thought the guitar was just for show."

I shrug and say, "Eh, I'm not very good yet. I'm just starting, really."

"Well, could have fooled me any day," he replies with a smirk. I wonder about that. I really haven't been playing all that long and everything I just played was just me fooling around on the strings. How that might have sounded good in any way is beyond me.

"So, what's up?" I ask. I look at my watch and am shocked to see that it's 2:56. I missed lunch and have been playing for almost two hours.

"The guys were just worried when you didn't show up for lunch and then weren't in the common room. They also are getting worried that you'll forget practice tonight."

"Damn… I forgot." Reid's eyes widen in disbelief. I guess it is odd to think that I would forget something so important, especially since he has lived with me for seven years and know that it's almost the only thing I talk about. I carefully put the guitar back in its case and put the case back by my trunk. I pull on my old Puddlemere United t-shirt, grab my Charms essay that I have yet to finish, and head down to the common room.

Reid grabs a book from his bed and follows me out of the room. When we reach the bottom of the stairs, Reid starts looking around discretely, but not discrete enough, seeing as I picked up on it… so not really discrete at all. I can tell he's looking for someone, but I don't think about it too much. I head over to the sofa by the fire where Roger and Phillip are sitting debating the best maneuver to use to avoid a Bludger while flying in to score.

"Obviously, the Hanger Diversion would be the best. That way you would not only avoid the Bludger, you would be headed toward the hoops at a great angle and probably make a score in the right ring," Roger insisted. This makes sense to me, but even though I know that the Orvert Dodge would be best, I keep this to myself. I'm still not in the mood to talk to anyone, not even about Quidditch, but I did need to do my Charms essay. I only came down so that the two of them, or Fred, who is sitting off to the side in a world of his own, wouldn't come searching for me desperately making sure I wouldn't forget about practice.

The two guys keep debating, and I sit down on an armchair off to the side. Fred is sitting in a chair opposite me and seems to come back to reality when I sit down. "Mate!" he says cheerily handing me a small stack of bacon sandwiches. "I thought you went up and died in your bed."

I wish, I think gloomily, taking a large bite out of the first sandwich. If I had died in my bed, I wouldn't have to face my stupidity the next time I see Meredith.

"You didn't even stir when Phillip and Roger nicked your Cloak."

"You haven't seen Meredith today, have you?" I ask suddenly.

"Hmm… she came down to lunch for a bit, but all she did was grab a sandwich and leave."

I'm worried upon hearing this. But maybe it's nothing. I mean, that's not too different from what she's been doing recently. Fred doesn't seem to be worried about this, or maybe he's just been distracted himself. He seems to be off in his own world most of the time, now. Granted, I'm not much better.

I lean back on the overstuffed armchair and open my textbook. This shouldn't take very long. I'm the most brilliant student at Hogwarts when it comes to Charms (I wish I actually did have Meredith here to smack me or verbally attack my ability to do anything… I miss having her around). But really, it's my best subject. Apparently Dad's Mum was brilliant in Charms as well. I must have gotten that from her.

I try to focus on charmed object detection, but my brain keeps wandering to my current situation. I need to apologize to Meredith, or somehow get her to believe that she should at least give me a chance to prove to her that I really do like (love?) her. Sure, I could have definitely picked a better time and place to show her my affections, but at least I have the really hard part out of the way.

"James, mate!" someone shouts and I nearly fall out of my chair as a pillow is thrown at my head. I look to Roger to see him laughing hysterically and Phillip smiling smugly.

"What?" I ask, annoyed.

"We were just wondering why you were glaring at your textbook," Phillip responded, flatly. "Surely Professor Chang isn't that bad to warrant you glaring at her subject." I give him an annoyed look and he joins Roger laughing.

I try once more to focus on my essay, but my train of thought can't leave Meredith. She's too wonderful to leave her with something like this on her mind. I don't know how I'm going to go about apologizing, but I need to do it soon or I'm going to explode from thinking about the subject so much. Before I get too much further in my thoughts, I am caught completely off guard by the person who walks out of the girl's staircase.

There, walking toward the sofa where Roger and Phillip are laughing is Meredith, looking completely normal. She looks like she did before Corner. I am utterly thrown. This was the least expected thing that she could have done. She looks perfect; like nothing's wrong with her at all; like Travis Bloody Corner and I haven't made her life miserable.

"What's so funny, guys?" she asks, smiling in an amused way at the two guys on the sofa. Phillip and Roger look over at her surprised and then they both smile back at her. "I know James has a funny face, but laughing about it right in front of him his a little harsh, don't you think?" Both the guys start laughing again and Meredith joins them. She's laughing, but it's not the same. I know her laugh when she's really happy, and now it's just a half-laugh. Her joy isn't behind the smile on her face.

She sits down between Phillip and Roger and they continue talking about Quidditch. At least I know she's ready to do something about her playing, but that's the last thing I'm worried about right now. I keep staring at Meredith as she's laughing and talking. Somehow I feel even guiltier at the fact that she's acting happy rather than depressed. At least if she were depressed I would know how to personally deal with it… which would be continuing to beat myself up.

Fred leans over and taps me. I tear my eyes away from Meredith and look over to Fred who is looking at me curiously with that Weasely know-it-all look in his eyes. I shake my head and roll my eyes as he jerks his head toward Mer with a smirk on his face. I try to smile, but it comes out more as a grimace and Fred looks at me concerned. I shake my head again and hopelessly turn back to the Charms textbook sitting open on my lap.

I force myself to focus with some difficulty and after about ten minutes I'm finished with my essay. I really don't want to leave the fake school world with clear right and wrong answers and dive into the confusing reality I've made for myself.

I look up hesitantly and see Meredith, Fred, Roger, and Phillip playing Exploding Snap on the coffee table in front of the fire. Reid is still sitting off to the side reading his book and occasionally looking up to the portrait hole. A small explosion from the game draws my attention back to the group of four around the small table.

It's getting near impossible to look at Meredith right now. The overwhelming guilt and confusion I'm feeling is taking over and I don't know what to do. I stand up from the chair and head towards the boy's staircase. Checking my watch as I climb the stairs, I decide that I'll go out for a fly before practice. The match is coming up this weekend and I need to get into the right mindset to prepare for it. Hufflepuff has become a fierce competitor these past few years, ever since they got a new captain. I put on my practice robes over my current clothes and head back down to the pitch with my broom in hand.

As I walk through the common room to the portrait, I can feel eyes on me. Not just anyone's eyes. Her eyes. The feeling is unsettling, but at the same time relaxing. I turn to look for her, but when I look back, she's still engrossed in the game of Exploding Snap. I must have been imagining things. Wishful thinking, if you want. After how bad I screwed up this morning, I don't know why she would even give me a second thought.

I climb out of the portrait hole and head to the pitch. Jogging is calming, but flying… that is the most calming activity I usually have. Today isn't any different. I walk into the cool evening air and onto the Quidditch pitch. I climb onto my broom and push off of the ground. I feel the wind ruffling my hair as my broom races through the air. I pull a few sloth rolls and feel the exhilarating feeling of being free of anything except the small stick of wood magically holding me up. I head straight up and loop backward, heading straight for the ground and pulling up as I rush to meet the ground.

I fly slowly around the perimeter of the stadium and look at my watch. Fifteen minutes are still left until practice starts and I land gracefully on the ground by the locker rooms. I catch my breath a bit before stretching out my arms and legs. My activity is interrupted by Phillip shouting to me.

"Oi! James! Meredith said that she thought you were already down here." I look at him confused. No one had seen me leave and Mer probably would be the least likely to know since her back was to the portrait hole. Unless I hadn't been imagining…

No. I'm kidding myself. It's still very wishful thinking on my part. She probably just knows me well enough to realize that I would be here on my own time.

"Well, here I am," I respond half-heartedly.

Phillip caught my tone and gives me a look. "Is there something going on James?" he asks expectantly. I'm surprised that I have kept if from him this long. My feelings for Meredith are not small, I'm just afraid he's going to think I'm an idiot, though he probably will when I tell him what I did this morning. No better time than now, I guess. It will just get harder later on, I suspect.

"I did something stupid this morning," is all I remark first.

"Of course you did. But what's new?" he says amused.

"No really, I did something beyond the stupidity of anything I've ever done in the history of the universe and probably ruined my life."

"Whoa, it has to be pretty stupid, then." I nod and lean against the pillar near the place I had been stretching before. "So, what's going on?"

I take a breath and slowly sort what I'm going to say. "Well, first off, I really fancy Meredith." Phillip raises his eyebrows in surprise and nods for me to continue. "Umm… well, I've liked her since my birthday." Phillip's gives a small 'hah'. "Erm, this morning… I… uh… I kissed her." Phillip looks at me as if to say 'and that's a bad thing?' "It was the worst thing at the worst possible time… she was crying, because she broke up with Corner, and he was cheating on her…"

Comprehension dawns on Phillip's face as I finish explaining my stupidity and I nervously wipe sweat off of my neck. "I was wondering why you've been giving Corner deadlier death glares recently." I half smile at his statement. It was true, though. "On the other hand, you're a bloody idiot, Potter."

I groan, put my face in my hands and pull my hands up through my hair. I am a bloody idiot. I completely agree with Phillip. I don't know what I'm going to do about it, though.

"It kind of makes you wonder why she was acting normal just now," he ponders aloud.

"Exactly!" I agree. "I've never been so confused about a girl. She does everything so different from what I would expect. I can't figure out how to act around her. Everything I do just turns to sh-"

"Oi! Thought you weren't going to show up, Captain!" Lorcan and Lysander arrived while we were talking and Lysander had called across the pitch, cutting me off. "I was expecting a beautiful Saturday off!"

"Keep dreaming Lysander. I wouldn't miss Quidditch after missing so much already!"

The twins walk up and start stretching followed by Meredith, Fred, and Roger. I take a deep breath join then in our warm-up routine.

Ten minutes later, the team is mounting brooms and taking off to start drills. As the practice goes on, it gets easier to focus and relax, much to my surprise. The team is looking better than we have in weeks and I think it's because of Meredith's better attitude.

"Hey, Captain!" Meredith calls to me as she flies close by. I feel the familiar sensation of a blush creeping up as she comes closer. "The team looks great." She comes even closer and I subconsciously tighten my grip on my broom. "It feels like everyone's flying better than they have been."

"Ye… yeah," I manage as she flies right beside me. I can see the flush on her cheeks from the cool air and could count the freckles on her nose. "I think you've- we've been doing really well today." The words are coming out way too fast to be normal. I'm not even really thinking about what's coming out, since all I can think about is the fact that she keeps hovering closer. "Of course without my excellent captaining we wouldn't be anywhere, right? We might even stand a chance against Hufflepuff now!"

"Maybe," Meredith says alluringly. She smirks, her eyes burning with a look that I'm unfamiliar with, but is so bloody sexy I can't look away. She touches my left hand gently and leans in closer as I feel my face grown even warmer and my heart rate reaching a pace I didn't know it could go. She reaches out to me-

*Smack!*

"Don't think you've done anything," she says with a wink and a smile. "Everyone knows I'm the heart of the team." And with that, she flies away, leaving me rubbing the back of my head, confused and very red.

Did she…?

Am I…?

Was Mer just flirting with me?

Did I miss a scene in my life where everything went back to normal… or better than normal?

Laughter from the goal rings notifies me that our exchange was not unseen.

I hope that she stays this way, because then I won't have to worry too horribly about the Hufflepuff match. Only about just what the hell is going on with this new flirty Meredith.

Then again, this kind of distraction could be our downfall.

I can tell there's still something wrong that's bothering her, but if this is how it's going to be for now, I could get used to it. I watch as her dark brown ponytail whips past me. Mer's brow is furrowed in concentration as she searches the pitch for the Snitch. Her dark blue eyes catch my brown ones and she gives me the same unfamiliar look as before.

"JAMES, LOOK OUT!" I search to see who shouted, but the last thing I see before I start to slip helplessly from my broom 50 feet up and black out is someone flying rapidly in my direction.