A/N: The response to the first chapter was overwhelmingly positive, so I guess I'm continuing! I'm trying to get in a chapter each day, and so far I'm on track. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, favorites, and follows!
Disclaimer: I forgot it last chapter, but just in case you don't know, I don't own Harry Potter.
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At ten to eleven, the Gryffindor common room was already packed with people. True to James's word, there were two fourth years guarding the Fat Lady's portrait, checking over each possible patron and then letting them in. James himself was still getting ready (or, as he put it, "Spiffing up to win my love!"), but a still-annoyed Sirius was at the booth (transfigured from an armchair, whose unfortunate pink-and-green pattern had transferred onto the booth), attempting to hold back the crowd of girls.
"Hello, Black," Marlene McKinnon said, sauntering up to the booth and bypassing a long line of girls, many of whom muttered discontentedly at her blatant barging in.
"Marlene," Sirius replied, nodding. "Please don't tell me that you want to kiss James too."
"Jealous?" she smirked. "No, I'm here to watch Potter make a fool out of himself, and then I'll laugh. A lot. Don't worry, I'm not interested in kissing either of you. You weren't worth a Knut, let alone ten of them."
"Thank you for your remarkably helpful and wise input," Sirius sighed. "Remind me, how are you a Gryffindor again?"
"Well, as the Sorting Hat said, I don't have a bone of ambition in my body, so I got stuck with you. On that note, it seems like Potter's finally decided to grace us with his presence."
Sirius looked to the top of the staircase leading to the boys' dormitory, and sure enough, James had walked out, his hair temporarily tamed with hairspray and gel.
"Hello, my fellow students!" James shouted. "I declare the kissing booth officially open!" As soon as James had gotten behind the booth, there were dozens upon dozens of brown coins being shoved into the face of Sirius, who was desperately trying to maintain order. Marlene was still leaning onto the booth, and was watching the antics of the crowd with an amused face, as if she was gazing at animals in a zoo fighting over a piece of food.
"Ladies, ladies!" James shouted. "There's enough of me for all of you! Single file line, please. Single file!"
At each customer, Sirius would take the girl's money and deposit it into a small box he had quickly transfigured from a tube of lipstick (he didn't want to know how it had gotten on the floor). James would give each girl a quick peck on the lips and a thank you, to which the girl would run off, blushing.
By twelve thirty, Sirius had become extremely bored, and was drumming on the booth with his wand (Marlene had stolen a copy of Witch Weekly from her roommate Mary MacDonald, who was an avid reader of the magazine, and was flicking through it idly, occasionally commenting on something she found particularly insulting or annoying.).
Fifteen minutes later, Remus and Peter finally showed up, and to Sirius's displeasure, they looked extremely proud of themselves for abandoning him to a lovestruck James and hordes of screaming teenage girls.
"Where were you two?" Sirius demanded as soon as they approached the booth. "No, I don't want to know. You two have made yourselves a formidable enemy."
"Please, Black," Marlene said, standing up from the stool she had been lounging on. "Don't worry, Pettigrew, Lupin. Sirius here has been bemoaning the disappearance of you two for two hours, and he's very glad to see you."
"Thank you for the explanation, McKinnon," Remus replied coldly. With a warmer tone, he said to Sirius, "Sorry. Pete and I had to talk to McGonagall about the kissing booth, since James decided to leave after his announcement." Rolling his eyes, he continued. "We managed to explain to her that James wouldn't be doing anything "inappropriate" and that this was all for a good cause."
"You owe us for that one," Peter said accusingly. "She gave us a talk on "not growing up too early" and told us not to do anything "risky"."
"Yes, yes," Marlene said. "All good and jolly for you two. Now, go comfort Black. He looks like he's close to tears after being left behind by you."
"No, I don't," Sirius grumbled, but he perked up slightly after Remus took over the cash box for him.
Half an hour later, they had gone through about a quarter of the line, and Bertha Jorkins stepped up to the booth. She gave Remus two Galleons, to which he responded that the fee was only ten Knuts, and to wait patiently while he gave her change.
"No. I want a hundred kisses," Bertha explained. "And, like, I can choose who I want to kiss, right?"
"I'm sorry," Remus replied. "You said you wanted a hundred kisses?"
"Yes," she said. "A hundred, and from him over there." She pointed a finger at Sirius, who gulped.
"Um, I'm not exactly sure that's the best idea," he mumbled, but a smirk was slowly forming on Remus's face.
"No, no, that's a wonderful idea!" Remus said, looking chipper. "Thank you, Bertha, for your generous donation. My friend Sirius will be so honored to kiss you a hundred times."
Remus Lupin was going to die. Painfully. Sirius gulped, and leaned over the booth to peck her on the cheek. She turned her face, though, quickly, and he ended up on her mouth. She grabbed his face and smashed his lips against hers, looking as if she was trying to swallow him whole. Finally, when it seemed as if she was trying to use tongue, he pulled away, gasping for breath.
"Okay, Bertha," he said, looking a little green. "I think that's enough."
She frowned for a second, but then smiled. "Okay, Siri-kins! I love you!" She skipped off, and Sirius groaned.
"Tough luck, mate," James said, clapping him on the back. "Still, at least you won't be single on Valentine's Day now. Lily still hasn't come to the booth." He looked grim, and almost defeated. "There's still about three hours left, though, and I want to make good use of that time. And it's a leap year. That ought to count for something, right?" He looked like he was trying more to convince himself than anything, though.
Ah. At least James wasn't happy, either. Sirius could still taste Jorkin's bubblegum lip gloss. Remus was still smirking, and Sirius started plotting ways to make him die (at the top, have him kiss Evans and leave him to James's mercy). Right now, Peter was the friend who had offended him the least.
Marlene, who had disappeared for a brief time, was back at two thirty. "So, Black," she started, "Gotten any lip action yet?"
Sirius groaned, and put his head on the booth. Peter shook his head at him mournfully. "Bertha Jorkins lay one on him when you were gone."
"That's sad," Marlene replied. "The only person willing to kiss him is Boring Bertha? I would have thought he'd gotten some from Lupin."
"I am Remus's friend," Sirius said, picking his head up from the booth. "Just like you and I are friends, and me and Pete are friends. Emphasis on friend."
"Friend?" Marlene asked. "Aww, I'm so honored. I don't think friends kiss regularly, though."
"What?" Sirius said, alarmed. "Remus and I haven't kissed yet." Then, realizing what he'd said, he backtracked. "I mean, we haven't kissed at all. Ever. Ever." He looked around to make sure Remus wasn't listening, and blushed at Marlene's knowing look.
Peter laughed. "I think you've just dug your own grave, my friend."
Sirius glared at them. "I hate you." Picking up the cash box, he hugged it. "Boxy, you are my new best friend. Oh, Boxy, you will be so much better than James or Peter or Remus or Marlene. Won't you be my friend, Boxy?"
Looking at him, Peter whispered to Marlene, "I think we've broken him."
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Marlene is really fun to write. On a side note, the "one hundred kisses" thing was inspired by the Glee Rachel (Ah, Finchel). Yes, I ship Remus/Sirius. Next chapter, there will be Jily. Lots of it, I promise you. Feedback on this chapter, story, or just a thought?