Chapter 24 - Revelations

Leonard sat there stunned, but even in the kitchen he could hear her sobbing, it only took him a moment to decide what to do and he quickly got up to look for her. She was in her bed, sobbing into her pillows her body shaking almost uncontrollably, it hurt Leonard's heart in so many ways seeing her like that. He slowly sat on the bed and took her into his arms, she offered no resistance and was soon sobbing against his chest. Leonard knew to let her get it all out, so he just held her and rubbed her back, slowing feeling her relax more and more, until after about 15 minutes she stopped entirely.

"Leonard I need you." Penny voice was muffled and cracking from her crying and her face being buried in his chest.

"I'm here don't worry. You'll always have a Leonard, no matter what happens." he tried to soothe her.

"No Leonard, I need you….you Leonard."

Leonard looked down at her confused. "I don't understand?"

Penny sniffed, trying not to cry again. "I killed my Leonard inside, the last year has been hell for him…..and me. I have hate myself and my life since I cheated on him. Watching him die inside was the most horrible thing I could ever imagine, I didn't want to go on."

Her last words caught in Leonard's mind and suddenly something inside him got scared. He put his hands on both her shoulders and pushed her off him till he could look in her face. "What do you mean, 'I didn't want to go on'."

Penny tried to look away, but Leonard grabbed her chin and made her look at him, she gave up and just told him. "I tried to commit suicide, by taking pills and alcohol, 4 months ago. Leonard was on a one week business trip, so he never knew and everyone promised to keep it a secret." She gave a sad laugh, no humor in it at all, "I would have succeeded, if my agent hadn't come by to drop off a script and found me before it was too late. It happened the day after he left, so I was back home before he came back. Everyone kept it a secret, even the police, as long as I went for therapy, for my career, my stupid career."

Penny took a breath and continued, "I'm so sorry Leonard, I'm a mess and the last few years you have been the only person to keep me together. I always thought I'd be happy as an actress, but I can't be happy without you. You have always been my rock, the one person I could go when it all got too much, then I cheated and lost you. I lost the man I can talk to, the man who keeps me warm and secure at night, the man who makes it so I'm never alone, the man I love." Tears formed again in her eyes.

Leonard just stared at her, her words where heartbreaking and the thought of her dead was the most horrible thing he could ever imagine, and now he became very scared about her state of mind, the drinking to get to sleep now making more sense to him. "Penny, I had no idea."

Penny immediately started talking, "Leonard, like I told you last night, my being a successful actress, was made possible by you and to reward you, I cheated on you." Penny spat out then stopped for a second and looked at her hands, obviously upset. Leonard just stared at her trying to make sense of what she just said, she kept telling him she cheated on him, he couldn't believe it. Penny continued, "I got drunk out of my mind at a cast party and slept with our producer. It destroyed you Leonard, I destroyed you, the trust was gone, it was like I ripped your heart out." Penny again stopped talking, new tears in her eyes. She never looked at him while she spoke, it was like she was reading it off a page in her mind.

Leonard looked down at his hands, it was just like a story to him, because it didn't happen to him. "I'm sorry Penny."

Penny's eyes shot up to now look at him, "You're sorry! You have nothing to be sorry for, you…..my husband has been the one in our marriage that did all the right things, not me. I am the cheating slut of a wife that ruined our lives after my husband made my dreams come true."

"I mean…..I don't know what I mean." Leonard shook his head, "This is a lot to take in, for both of us." Leonard admitted.

Penny looked at Leonard again, she had to tell him everything, for some reason she had to tell him, "Leonard withdrew after I cheated on him, I haven't been able to talk to him…..you, since then. The embarrassment of finding me cheating, the rumors and the press hinting about the cheating actress wife and everything else just drove him deeper into depression and me too. I sometimes don't know what I am doing anymore, I need my Leonard back, I need my Leonard back to where he is like you are now or if you are him, I need you just to stay the way you are. My life is not the same without him and if I loose you…Leonard….I don't know what I have to live for anymore."

Leonard just held her in front of him by her shoulders just looking at her, "Don't say that. I don't know how I fit in all this, but you can still talk to me, I will always be here for you."

Penny sighed, "Sweetie, I know now that is a promise people can't keep, they may try but life takes control and they end up breaking it. It is just as bad as me saying I would love and be loyal to you forever, when we got married. I have always loved you Honey, never anybody else, but I haven't been true to the loyal part. I am a cheating slut and I will be always have that to remember."

"Penny you can't think that way, you can't beat yourself like this constantly, it happened there is nothing you can do about that anymore, but to let it destroy you is just not healthy…..for either of you. Penny no one is perfect, you made a mistake….okay, I understand, but you need now to make the best of things….again both of you." Leonard didn't know if he was getting through to her.

Penny just stared at him, her mouth slightly open, her breathing ragged, her heart telling her to kiss him, she so wanted to kiss him, but her mind wouldn't let it go, if he wasn't her husband she would be cheating again. So she compromised, putting her head on his shoulder and letting the tears come out again, while softly saying, "Thank you, Leonard." as his hand gently rubbed her back. She relaxed into him as she clung to him, the feeling of him against her all she really wanted in life at that moment, and it wasn't long before her mind relaxed too, the physical tiredness of all that emotion taking over as her mind and body fell deeply into sleep.

Leonard laid back against the headboard and pillows, holding her, he knew she was asleep, but there was nothing in this world that would make him let her go. He felt guilty, he loved holding her while she slept, it allowed him to protect her, keep her safe, but he knew he was taking advantage of the situation with her. He kept thinking about what she said, and he knew now he was not going to let her be alone anymore while he was here, he would become a leech and go everywhere with her, he was not going to take the chance of loosing her. When her husband came back he would explain it to him, Leonard couldn't image any Leonard in any timeline not loving her, so her husband would understand and if he didn't Leonard would make him understand.

He also knew he would have trouble letting her go, when her husband came back, because he felt the same way as her, he didn't know what he would do without her. When he left he would never see her again, because he didn't tell her they could never go back in time, he would never risk changing something that could cause her more pain, or worse something to happen to her. Just this thing with Sheldon changed more than he ever imagined, so he was not going to risk it, when him and Sheldon left they would have to go to the future. He closed his eyes, not to sleep but just to let his senses enjoy this moment, the feel of her, her smell and just listening to her breath, he needed to remember every detail, because it might be the last time he ever got to hold her.

xxxxTIMExxxxTIMExxxxTIMExxxxTIMExxxxTIMExxxxTIMExxxx

Sheldon and Amy woke up about two hours later, he was a little stiff from falling asleep on the couch, but amazingly he felt rested. He quickly used the bathroom and then Sheldon went back into their bedroom, to wait for Amy, who had gotten in the bathroom after him to shower. He wasn't sure now what to do, so he found himself just sitting on the bed waiting for her, until she joined him a few minutes later. Amy came in smiling and giving him a kiss, he had actually expected that, it was amazing how easy he had adapted to kissing her again, even enjoying it.

"Did you rest well?" Sheldon asked her after their lips separated.

Amy smiled. "I really did, I didn't sleep that well without you last night, so that nap was refreshing. Thank you, Honey."

Sheldon nodded, "Pregnant women need all the rest they can get, so I'm glad I could help." He noticed Amy's smile get bigger, and she leaned over and kissed him again.

Sheldon liked it, so he put his hands on her hips and pulled her down next to him on the bed so the kiss would last longer. Sheldon felt her arms encircle his neck, then her fingers in his hair, so he wrapped her arms around her pulling her closer, until he felt her right breast, the softness of it, squeeze against his chest, as she partially turned more towards him, it was a wonderful feeling. They kissed for a few minutes, then slowly broke apart, just looking into each others eyes, Sheldon was a little giddy, "If that is my reward for letting you nap on me, you are welcome to do that anytime you want." he said with a smile on his lips.

Amy's eyes twinkled, at least he thought they did. "I will remember that, but you know you can have anything you want, Honey."

"I'll remember that." he teased back.

They looked at each other for a few more minutes, before Amy spoke again, "Well, I guess I need to get dressed, unless you want me to just take this robe off and get in bed with you."

Sheldon hadn't he thought she was nude under the robe and suddenly got scared, kissing and cuddling Amy was something he thought a lot about in his timeline since he lost her, so doing it now wasn't so hard. However coitus was another matter, he couldn't just do that, not yet, he composed himself the best he could before he spoke. "I'm sorry we better get dressed, I need to see Leonard this afternoon." He could see a little disappointment in her eyes, the twinkle had left, but she just nodded and got up.

Sheldon stayed on the bed, he needed to find out what he normally wore now, so he decided he needed to find a way to ask Amy without suspicion, who was now standing in front of the closet trying to decide on something to wear. Sheldon immediately noticed how neat the closet looked and realized in this time line there was still a lot of things that hadn't changed, which was comforting to him, as he thought that maybe he would be able to figure his system without her help. He was going over all this in his mind, when Amy seemed to find the clothes she wanted and shed her robe, exposing her nude body to her husband. Sheldon lost all thoughts in his mind at that moment, mesmerized by the nude goddess before him, her milky white skin, full breasts, round buttocks and the expanded bump forming her belly just screaming how fertile she was, Sheldon swallowed hard.

Sheldon was about to panic, and his pajama pants were getting tight again, he had to get out of there, not because he didn't want to see Amy, she was beautiful, but because he had lost complete control and his mind was overloading. Sheldon quickly stood up, "Amy I'm going to get a shower now." as he quickly moved out of the room.

"Okay Honey, do you want me to lay your clothes out." She responded.

Sheldon breathed a sigh of relieve, one for now getting out of there before he self destructed and secondly because Amy now solved his what to wear problem. "Thank you 'DR COOPER'."

Sheldon heard the giggle in her voice, "Your welcome 'DR COOPER'." Sheldon couldn't help but smile, Amy was amazing, and Amy was his wife, his smile getting even larger.