Chapter 32 - Howard

They were both nice to each other, but it was still awkward, both of them making sure they didn't touch each other before they had time to think out what was the right thing to do. But even then, because they couldn't help that they cared for each other, they quickly got comfortable with each other again, even if it meant keeping a little distance between them. Penny knowing she needed time to think and him touching her would make her mind go blank, turning her to putty. Leonard's thoughts more basic, he didn't know what was right to do anymore, everything was getting more confusing each day and he just needed everything to stand still for a while so he could think things through.

"This is nice, Penny." Leonard then put another forkful of egg into his mouth as he looked around.

Penny nodded and gave him a small smile. "We use to go here every so often….It is nice." Penny then looked down at a piece of fruit stabbing it and bringing it too her mouth.

Leonard now looked at her, "I didn't mean to stir up old memories. I'm sorry."

Penny shook her head, "It is not that. I don't know exactly how to say this." she sat there a second trying to compose her thoughts while Leonard sat there silently waiting for her, "Leonard, I know you are my husband. I understand enough from my studies and what you…he…both of you told me to know that you can easily be the actual man I married, only before we actually married." She wanted him to know she just needed some time to adjust, she wasn't rejecting him, she just needed to adjust to this new him and she didn't want to loose him. "I'm trying to say that I accept you as my husband, but this has all happened in less that 48 hours and I need some time to adjust. This is huge for me Sweetie, it changes everything, I still don't know how I feel about everything that has happened the last year, I felt that I was loosing everything and without you, I was not seeing anyway out. Now you are here, being the way you were with me, caring for me, it keeps feeling like I've gotten a second change, and I know that is not what it is, but I'm still a little overwhelmed and I just need to sort this all out, you know."

Leonard could hear her voice cracking near the end and her eyes now looked moist, he nodded to her. "Penny take all the time you need to think, I'm a little confused too about all that is happening. But no matter what, Penny remember, the me in the video still loved you and never stopped, and all that stuff that happened before, didn't happen with me, so don't beat yourself up over that stuff anymore."

Penny nodded to him and sniffled once instead of crying. "It's hard, but I will try. Leonard even though I said all that, I do need something from you. I need to sleep with you at night, I can't sleep anymore without you or a couple of drinks."

Leonard smiled, "Then me it is."

Penny bit her lip, "It just has to be sleep for a little while too Sweetie, until I get my head around this. I'm not strong, so you have to be the strong one."

"Penny I promise I won't take advantage of you." He assured her.

Penny looked at her hands. "Leonard, you're not the one I'm worried about. I need you make sure, I don't go over the line. I don't trust myself. I'm still a little bit of a mess."

Leonard nodded, then seeing she wasn't looking at him, he reached over and took her chin lifting her head so she looked into his eyes. "I will make sure we both keep things casual until we both figure out what we need to do. I promise." He then gave her a little smile.

Penny stared into his eyes, the touch of his warm hand on her face sending shivers through her body. She just wanted to kiss him and she knew as soon as she kissed him she would want to bed him, she loved him so much and she wanted him back even more. She now even questioned why she asked him to do this, because she just wanted to give herself to him and drown herself in him, "Thank you Leonard." she whispered.

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The afternoon just drug on for Sheldon, it felt so different than the afternoons he had spent by himself before this happened. Usually when he had research to do, time would fly by, but today he found no matter how hard he worked the time seemed to drag on at a speed so slow that it seemed to defy physics. He knew he was just being a hippy, but he didn't care, he had missed Amy so much the last couple of years, the loneliness had actually slowly ate away at him. Now having her was like taking a drug and he knew he was addicted, but he didn't care, it felt too good to stop. He got up from his seat and went back to the window to look out, like he had done three times before since she left, he was worried and he wanted her back, he wanted her back now.

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No sooner that they got settled in the car Leonard brought up the subject of the time machine again, "Penny, I'm not sure yet what we should do, but I do know that Sheldon controlling the ability to use the machine is dangerous right now. I need to talk to Howard and have him build a new power module, he built the one for the machine in my time."

Penny nodded, "Do you want to go to his house?"

It only took Leonard a second to decide, "Yes, do you know where he lives?" Right now working on the machine seemed to be a good way to keep his mind off of the woman sitting next to him and his feelings about her.

"Yeah, I think I remember." Penny started the car and drove out of the parking lot.

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Sheldon had stopped working, he couldn't seem to read the words on this laptop screen anymore, his mind kept picturing Amy instead. He now just decided to look around the apartment, he had trouble putting her clothes away last night, since he didn't know where they went, so now alone there for the first time he decided to do some exploring. However Sheldon had only looked around for 10 minutes before he found the photo albums and he sat down in his spot opening the books becoming quickly involved in their contents. Time seemed to now stop as he went through each page, looking at pictures of him and Amy, it was the life he never had before, the life he gave up for science. He saw himself in the pictures, but the man looking back at him was slightly different than him, Sheldon could tell he was happy. The realization that he could have been happy with Amy and still got his Nobel, before Lewis could have published, tore at his heart and dove home to him that maybe he wasn't as smart as he thought.

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Leonard was nervous, as he lifted his hand to knock on the door, the only thing that was calming to him was having Penny standing next to him. The little he had found out about Howard, from Penny, made him realize he had not been a very good friend, he had sacrificed his friendship with him to concentrate on Penny and although he knew he would probably do it again, it still didn't make this seem exactly right. He waited a few moments and when no one came to the door he knocked again, there was a car in the driveway, so he figured someone had to be home.

Penny and Leonard heard nothing until the sound of the lock opening caught their attention, and then the door opened. "Dr Hofstadter?" Howard greeted them obviously surprised.

The man facing Leonard was paler and even skinnier that the Howard he knew and Leonard immediately felt horrible at what had happened to his old friend. Howard calling him 'Dr Hofstadter' also made him feel bad, Howard never called him by his title if it wasn't to tease him, they were always just Leonard and Howard to each other. "Howard, I can talk with you for a minute."

Howard stared at Hofstadter and his wife for a minute confused and not knowing what to do. They had not really been around each other for years and Howard, like everyone else, had heard that him and his wife were having problems so seeing her here with him was confusing. But Howard was still curious, so he stepped out of the doorway. "Okay, please come in."

Leonard walked into the living room and was immediately struck with how everything seemed the same from when this place had been occupied by his mother. It looked so much like it was from his timeline, it was creepy, and that was what was really concerning, Penny said his mother had been dead for years and yet, everything looked the same, he immediately became worried for his old friend. Penny and Leonard sat on the couch and Howard sat on a side chair just watching them, so Leonard began the conversation. "Howard, I need you to help me with a project."

Howard looked a little bit surprised, "What kind of project?" Coming to see him was unusual, but coming on Sunday was even more unusual, Howard was now very curious.

"I need a power module for a research machine. It needs to handle momentary high power surges for several minutes." Leonard explained.

"I could probably do that, but it would be a little bit large and would probably weigh close to a half ton." Howard explained, now in engineering mode.

"I know you can build it, that is why I came to you. I also know it will be large, but I still need it." Leonard gave him a little smile.

Howard nodded, then decided to ask the question that was bothering him, "Why did you need to tell me this today, instead of telling me tomorrow at work?"

Leonard looked at Penny, then back to Howard, "It was an excuse to come see you and see how you were doing."

Howard looked at Leonard dumbfounded, "Why would you do that?"

"We were friends once Howard, I hope we still are. I know I haven't been a good friend the last few years, but I can change. I want to change." Leonard tried to sound sincere, because he was.

Howard's jaw had dropped slightly as he stared at him. "Umm" he didn't know what to say.

"Howard, would you go to the dinner with us." Penny asked, seeing Leonard give her a small grateful nod.

"I…I don't know." Howard was confused.

"Good, we'll pick you up at 5, okay." Penny didn't want to give him a chance to turn them down.

Howard looked at her, again not knowing what to say, "Okay, I guess."

Leonard did not want Howard to change his mind either, he quickly stood up, "Good, then 5 it is. I have a few more things to talk to you about concerning the project but those can wait for dinner." Leonard offered his hand to Howard, who shook it, a bewildered expression oh his face.

Penny didn't shake hands, so she just stepped over to hug him, whispering in his ear, "See you at 5 Sweetie." then as she pulled away she gave him a little kiss on the cheek.

Howard was standing in his doorway watching them drive away, still touching the place on his cheek where Penny kissed him. He didn't have a clue about what had just happened, but as he closed the door he knew he needed to find some appropriate clothes for dinner tonight. With those thoughts he walked slowly upstairs to his room and to get a shower.

A/N: The last episode of The Big Bang Theory (episode 8.05) had a scene where the gang tried to understand time travel from the movie Back to the Future. If you watched the episode you can see how going forward and backward in time can be very confusing and cause problems. That is what really happens, it is confusing, not like some Mary Sue story where the hero goes back and makes everything better. That is what I am trying to convey in this story and I am sorry if I am confusing people, but to be a little realistic, it has be confusing. Thanks again for everyone who is ready my story.