Chapter 24: Emotional turmoils
"JUST SHUT UP AND TELL ME WHO YOU ARE?"
Kagome sobbed as she cried "Inu please-"
"DAMNIT ANSWER ME!"
Kagome cried helplessly as she whispered "Inuyasha..." Kagome's lips quivered as more tears started to flood her eyes and sting her cheeks in April's Spring wind. Kagome stood up slowly, her legs wobbly and her face sad and eyes desperate. She looked down at the ground and looked around, noticing that they were alone. Kagome raised her arms and her hair grabbed the front of her wig. She could see Inuyasha's confused face contort with not only confusion but anger, helplessness, desperations.
And with one tug, her wig was pulled off, and her natural waist length hair of ebony locks surrounded her face and arms, strands blowing by the force of the wind. Her tears fell on her lips, down her chin and straight to the grass below.
Inuyasha's eyes widened as his heart stopped. Kazuki...his friend...was Kagome. Inuyasha didn't know what to say, what to think. He felt his insides explode with anger, sadness, hurt, pain, anguish...yet love. Inuyasha didn't know what to do, what could he do. He just found out his best friend, and his girlfriend were one in the same person. What the hell was he meant to think!
Inuyasha's eyes were wide and filled with anger, his chest heaving quicker and quicker as his adrenaline and demon were fighting inside of him. His hands in tight fists on his sides ready to punch the next obstacle that annoys him. "K-Kagome?" Inuyasha said quietly his head hurting and ringing. "What...how...why?"
Kagome bit her bottom lip as they quivered, her eyes glazed with tears and her cheeks red and blotchy because of them. Her body slowly moving forward, her arm outstretched "I-Inu, please...l-listen to me-"
"Don't call me Inu." Inuyasha said quietly and deadly, his fists shaking slightly, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. He wouldn't cry, he hadn't cried for years, and he definitely wouldn't now, not in front of Kaz-Kagome.
Kagome shook her head, her eyes wide and her breath heaving harshly as she moved closer "Please Inu, please please please let me explain, I'm so sorry but please just-" Kagome says reaching out for his arm.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Inuyasha said shoving Kagome's arm away harshly.
Kagome cried harder as she looked down at the ground "Inu, please-"
"Don't fucking say please Kagome! You want me to listen to you?! you want me to just forgive you and forget that my fucking best friend, the guy that I trusted, and the best friend I didn't have, is my fucking girlfriend!" Inuyasha said angrily. with every reason.
Kagome cried but shook her head "No Inu, please I didn't mean for it to go that far I swear-"
"You didn't mean for it to go that far! Are you even listening to yourself, what part of this are you not getting, the part that right now I'm in a shock at finding out that the two people that meant the world to me has showed me just how fucking two faced they are! Do you not understand that right now I'm confused out of my fucking mind just trying to figure out what the hell is going on in the first place!"
Kagome shook her head "Inuyasha, I know, I know and I'm so sorry, but I had a reason-"
"A reason?! A reason! What reason could it possibly be hm? Please fucking enlighten me! Because frankly I'm the stupid one right now!" Inuyasha said lashing out, his arms so close to hitting something. However his heart was betraying him.
Kagome cried out and nodded as she hyperventilate "I know, and I'm sorry, please Inu, please just listen, I swear I had a reason please, I never wanted to hurt you I swear-"
"You did Kagome! What you didn't mean to do, you did. I can't believe I was such a fool." Inuyasha said his fists shaking and his demon wanting to lash out, he looked at the ground and growled. "A fucking pathetic little fool to think that maybe there was a decent girl out there, that understood me, that had faith in me, and that believed in me, encouraged me to follow my dream, made me feel like I was her world...that loved me." Inuyasha said looking into her eyes, with hurt and betrayal. Kagome felt her vision blurr as the tears accumulated and walked closer, whilst he walked back "I can't believe that I was blind to not see who you really were, nothing but a lying fucking backstabber. A stupid girl who couldn't care less about anybody but herself."
Kagome ran forward grabbing onto his arm, Inuyasha pulling his arm out again roughly. "Inuyasha listen to me! I swear I never meant to hurt you! I never wanted to, I never thought I'd even meet you please believe me. I love you Inuyasha, dear god I love you! Please believe me-"
"Believe you?! Kagome, do you even know how much you hurt me? How I'm feeling right now? No you bloody don't! How can I believe you, when I did! I thought you were amazing, I thought you were kind, caring, passionate, loving, trustworthy, but seeing your true colours, makes me think how the hell you covered it up so well."
"I didn't try to cover anything! I did but not you, I never wanted to hurt you I promise, I swear I didn't mean to. I came here because of a completely different reason if you would just hear me out-"
"SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP! I can't believe anything your saying right now. I don't ever want to see you again, I don't want to ever hear your voice, speak to you, nothing! Get out of my life, it was much better when you weren't in it!" Inuyasha said turning around and running. Running away from her.
Kagome ran following him "Inuyasha! Please slow down listen to me!"
Inuyasha however didn't listen and ran forward.
"Inuyasha!
"INUYASHA!" Kagome cried out.
Inuyasha heard her cries die down as he slammed the dorm door before breathing harshly. He grabbed his hair and screamed as he let his demon out. His anger overpowering his senses. He looked at the sofa and grabbed it before throwing it to the other side of the room in anger followed by a massive bang. He shredded his pillows broke the glass in the kitchen and carried on screaming as he ripped the curtains. Tears flowing freely down his cheeks. "AAAAAAHH!" Inuyasha shouted as he fell to the ground, for once in a long time he let his tears fall and his cries yell throughout the dorm. Feeling heavy tears fall down his cheeks his voice loud and in pain. "Kagome! WHY!" Inuyasha held his head as he kept crying over and over again.
"WHY! KAGOME WHY, WHY, WHY?! FUCKING WHY!" Inuyasha stood up and punched the wall over and over, not caring about the sting he was feeling in his new-found cuts and wounds, not caring about the blood that was staining the once pale white walls, the blood flowing down his knuckles and dropping onto the floor. Inuyasha gave out another animalistic growled. His fringe covering his eyes, allowing a dark haze to overcome his once amber eyes. He cried silently as he leaned his forehead on the wall, a hand limp to his side as the excess blood dried, the other pressed against the wall. Inuyasha's shoulders shook with every tear he cried, his mouth open slightly as he let out his cries, his eyes shut tight as he tried to get the image of Kagome out of his mind. The image of Kazuki.
Inuyasha turned around and leaned his head back against the wall as he raised one hand to grip his chest and the other his hair. Inuyasha slid down the wall and landed onto the floor in a crumpled heap surrounded by a broken apartment. He leaned his head back causing it to hit. Hard. But he didn't care, the pain couldn't inflict as much anger and sadness as he was feeling now. Inuyasha's cries silenced as his cheeks were flushed from them, his demon subsiding as his claws and fangs decreased slightly, he wasn't fully in his demonic form, but he didn't exactly have much control over his hanyou either. Inuyasha knew his demon got attached to both occupants of his heart and mind. That it was also fixated as much as he was by the small raven haired vixen that was his girlfriend, to the most supportive, active, and intellectually different that was Kazuki. Inuyasha felt pain, the pain that he had not so long ago proclaimed his undying love and devotion for the love of his life. Did she even take him seriously? Did she even understand just how evil she was? Causing him to feel such love and affection,t he love and affection that he was neglected, for it to just end in a lie? Did she truly understand the deep meaningful feelings and dreams behind his words when he promised to commit to her for the rest of his life? When he had promised and showered her with love and words that he only ever kept in his heart till then? Did she even mean anything she told him?
So many question were running through his mind, so many damn thoughts running through his tired out brain which headed straight to his heart. It was as if his heart and his mind both shared the pain, the regret...the love that they still felt for her. Inuyasha raised a knee before leaning his arm on it and placing his bloodied palm on his forehead.
He couldn't forget her so easily, he couldn't. Just then he felt a knock on the door. He didn't bother answering, thinking that it would probably be some stupid rowdy student telling him to be quiet as usual. However the knocks were slow and meek, almost hesitant. Inuyasha focused his hearing and heard soft gasps that were all too familiar, his nose finally catching the scent of...Kagome. Inuyasha instantly fisted his hand as he stood up slowly, leaning against the wall for support. He didn't know what to do, should he go and answer the door? Did he really want to see her? But then would she stay there if he didn't. Inuyasha felt his heart freeze as he heard her small voice.
"Inuyasha...Inuyasha...please..." He heard her say with every word quieting to a whisper.
Inuyashs stood up. He was done with being played with, done with giving his heart to people, allowing people to see his weak side, for it to only be thrown back at his face. He was sick of trusting people he thought were worthy. First his parents, his own fucking brother, Kikyo, Koga, and now Kagome. He would be made a fool of no longer. Inuyasha marched up to the door and opened it. When he did, he saw a now broken Kagome. His-used to be his Kagome, wearing the Fukuoka boys school uniform, her wig in one hand, her other gripping her shirt near her chest. Her raven waves around her in a mess, her lips slightly parted gasping in air and still very cherry red, her cheeks pale and her eyes bloodshot. Her body shivering. Inuyasha kept a strong stance as he spoke.
"What the fuck do you want. I told you I don't want to hear you." Inuyasha said darkly.
Kagome sobbed quietly as she shook her head, her hair flailing around her, causing Inuyasha to feel his chest warm up for a second as he saw just how beautiful she had looked. But he wiped that thought. She was not the girl he knew before, she was just another obstacle in his way.
Kagome spoke as she looked into his eyes seeing the amount of hatred they held at that moment. "I-Inuyasha, I want you to hear me out, I have my reason for doing what I did-"
"I told you to save it. I told you I didn't want to hear it! If you want to enter it's to only pack your things and leave. A girl can't be in an all boy school , it does make a very bad impression."
Inuyasha said angrily and spitefully. He hated being like this to her, but he couldn't think straight, all he wanted was to reverse time and wished...that he never fell in love with Kagome, and that his friendship with Kazuki wasn't as close as it was.
Kagome sobbed a little more, grabbing onto his arm which he instantly pulled away again. Kagome stared at the arm in horror, pain, sadness. She looked into his eyes "Inuyasha, I swear my reasoning had nothing to do with you. I never even thought I'd meet someone like you, I love you Inuyasha, I do, you see Koga-"
"Don't you dare tell me you love me. You don't know what that is. If you did you would have told me right from the beginning of the damn relationship I had with you, old me who you were, or better when you fucking moved in here at the start of the year. Do you even know the hurt you've caused me? I feel as if I was played Kagome, I feel as if I was betrayed, things I told Kazuki I would never tell any-one else, especially if they were a girl. I gave my heart to you, I poured my feelings and future to you. I told you words, gave you things, took you places that I would never have taken any-one else. They were not special to me in the slightest. You were the only one that I had actually felt comfortable around, the only girl that actually made me want to fucking commit and fight for what I want! That same fucking girl was someone I was madly deeply and wholeheartedly fucking in love with! You were that fucking girl Kagome! You are the one i gave it to! And like everything else in my god damned life you ended up just being like all the rest! Like my father, my brother...Kikyo."
Kagome cried out and this time she was angry, he wasn't letting her talk! "Don't you dare compare me to that person."
"If it wasn't for that person, I would have never found out your secret! Or would you have ever told me!"
Kagome pushed the door open more as she stared at him. "You have no idea how much I regretted lying to you! I had to! I had no choice, I never thought that I'd ever fall in love with...with..."
"With an easy pathetic sad bastard like me?" Inuyasha spat
For a moment no-body said anything. However Kagome then spoke "No...I never thought I'd ever fall in love with...a talented person like you. But I never regret it, you were, are, my world. You have to believe me I came to this school because I wanted to take-"
"Save it Kagome. I don't care any more about any of your excuses or lies. How am I meant to believe what your saying now. I can't. I can't do this any-more I cannot and will not fall for another pathetic speech as I have done so many times in my life. Next time you come here, bring a fucking moving truck, that's the only time I'll let you in my apartment. And in my heart. Now leave before I get really angry." Inuyasha said with empty threats. In truth he just wanted to pull her in his arms, kiss her cherry red lips senseless, ravish her and make love to her every minute showing her who she belonged to, and forgive her, tell her he didn't care and that he'd love her no matter what. He was serious that time in the restaurant and...and the moment he saw Kagome lower her head and small tears appeared once again as she slowly walked away, is when he knew...that he had lost her forever. Kagome had only turned once to see him, her hand pushing against the doors before whispering. "I love you Inuyasha, I always have." And just like that he saw tears fall down her already tear stricken blotchy cheeks before running out, her cries left obvious in his ears.
When Inuyasha saw traces of ebony hair disappear from the door, he felt like a massive part of his soul, his mind, his heart was missing. He wanted to run towards her, catch her and tell her to never leave. He wanted to touch her, kiss her, tell her to never ever walk out of his life, to always be there and to give him strength. But he had been too goddamned hurt in the past, he couldn't do it. He didn't want to listen to her reason, to him, she was now just another enemy in his eyes, but in his heart...she would always be the woman he fell in love with, the woman he adored, cherished, wanted his life with, wanted to have children with. To him she was the only girl he would ever want such a life with.
And even that was a distant memory now.
Inuyasha slammed the dorm door and quickly felt the pain and anger force together in his chest, causing his breathing to turn around harshly and his heart to pound loudly against his skin. His claws itching to break something, anything. He didn't care if school was almost finished, he didn't care who heard him, he opened his lips allowing one last scream to sound from them, as he gripped his head once more.
Kagome ran out of the school and down a road leading to wherever her feet took her. Kagome felt her ebony hair fly behind her wildly as her wig was dropped onto the floor, the object that managed to hide the curls so well, was now lost, along with her heart. The object that bonded her to Kazuki was now forgotten. Kagome carried on running, not caring who she bumped to shoved along the way, she just wanted to go far away, away from that school and away from...from...Kagome tripped and fell to her knees, her hands and knees landing on cobble and small rocks broken from the side walk. She quickly shook her head, ringlets of hair in front of her shaking at the same pace as she stood back up and ignored all the eyes that were staring at her, she ran through roads causing cars to beep and horn. But she didn't care, she felt hurt, she felt really hurt. She couldn't even focus on where she was even going, she just ran. Mindlessly allowed her stupid brain to follow allowing her heart to thump with adrenaline.
Kagome felt as if she was running for hours, her eyes glued in front of her as she kept seeing flashes of her and Inuyasha, his arms wrapped around her waist as he crashed his lips with hers, both of them moaning, giggling. She kept crying as she saw flashes of that night. The way his soft hands touched her, his hands caressed her cheeks tangled into her hair, made her feel like a woman, like she was loved, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. His body moulding with hers making her body heat up and eyes burn with lust. Kagome felt even more tears fall down her cheeks as she remembered his words from that night.
"Kagome...Kagome your beautiful."
"Kagome your amazing...god Kagome."
"Oh Kagome, never leave me...Kagome."
"Kagome...Kagome...KAGOME!"
"I love you my Kagome."
Kagome cried even louder as she felt her feet slowing down, until they finally stopped. Her head was bent down, her eyes shut tightly. Why...why did he have to find out from Kikyo. Why couldn't she have been woman enough to tell him from the start of the relationship. Why didn't he let her explain. Kagome felt a drop of water land on her cheek, and slowly raised her head, faintly noticing drops of clear water falling from a dark sky stating it was night. Why was it that it always seemed to rain whenever she was sad? Whenever she was scared, angry, the rain managed to outweigh her tears causing her skin to chill from the cold and freeze her mind and heart in time. Kagome felt her hair quickly sticking to her cheeks as her fringe was now glued to her forehead, the rain fell harder. Her eyelashes were now covered in tiny drops which made her teary red eyes glaze. She looked down to see her uniform was damp also. Her white shirt was crinkled, her jumper wasn't as damp, however her blazer was from covering her jumper. Her trousers had spots of rain and her leather shoes were the same. She looked around and realised just where she was.
The park. The exact same place she cried when Koga had left her.
Kagome cried even more at the thought that now the roles were reversed. How ironic. The last time she was here she was the one who was hurt. Now it was the other way around she came here running away from a person she had just hurt. She really was a coward. She went in the first place to run away from all the pain, to show that she was strong, that Koga was wrong and even someone like her can be a woman. However she was exactly everything he had said. She was petty, she really could not make any-body happy, she was weak. Weak at falling in love. Kagome looked ahead and found the same bench she had seen before. She walked over, dragging her feet as she neared the pieces of wood. She slowly sat down, both hands on the edge making her arms straight as she bowed her head. She couldn't even look up for fear of realisation. She kept her eyes closed as her shoulders shook and her heart broke.
"Inuyasha." She whispered gripping the front of her jumper.
"INUYASHA!" Kagome shouted to the sky as she cried once again, her eyes stinging from the amount of tears she cried and her cheeks were burning as the cold air hit them.
"Inuyasha...Inuyasha...I love you." Kagome whispered once again.
Hours passed, the night darkened, and soon fewer cars were driving, and there were less and less people. Kagome still had not looked up. Even if her neck was hurting she didn't care, she felt lifeless. She didn't care about the cold that was slowly eating her clothes, she didn't care that she was alone, however she did know that she couldn't stay outside for the rest of the night and shakily took out her phone from her trouser pocket. She slowly opened it and felt another sob clog in her throat as she saw the photo of Kazuki and Inuyasha on the front cover, both so happy, both very much showing close friendship. Kagome pressed number 2 and placed it near her ear.
RING
RING
RING RIN- "Hello?" Jakotsu's voice sounded.
Kagome spoke "Hey Jay...it's me, Kagome." God her voice was croaked.
Jakotsu was instantly worried "What's up you don't sound too good, did something happen?"
Kagome chuckled darkly "You could say that."
Jakotsu was very worried now, especially after hearing the sheer displeasure Kagome's voice sounded. "What happened, where are you you don't sound like your indoors?"
"Can you...come pick me up?" Kagome asked hesitantly.
Jakotsu was confused but complied "O-Okay where?"
"The same place Sango found me after Koga-"
"Okay what the fuck happened Kagome Higurashi, and you better tell me right now." Jakotsu said not liking the fact that she was in a park at this ungodly hour. Imagining the amoutn of perverts there must be at that hour.
Kagome sighed and rubbed her eyes "Pick me up, I promise I'll tell you."
"You better Kagome, because I am very worried. I'll see you in 10." Jakotsu said before hanging up.
Kagome sighed as she closed her phone and placed it in her pocket. Soon she heard a beep and turned around to see Jakotsu running out and heading towards her, his keys in one hand and phone in another. Kagome slowly stood up and instantly felt arms around her. Kagome felt Jakotsu kiss her hair as he held onto her tightly. "Kag's what in the world is going on." Jakotsu stood back and looked at his best friend up and down. "Goodness Kag's why are you soaked, and your wig, where in the world is your wig? Kag's-" However he was cut of by Kagome's arms wrapping around him as she sobbed once again in his chest, her hands gripping his jacket. Jaykotsu sighed in defeat and hugged her back, happy that she was okay. Jakotsu pulled back and cupped her cheeks before clearing away the tears. "Let's take you to my house, it's still during the week and you shouldn't be at home till the week-end, then you tell me everything okay kag's."
Kagome sniffed and nodded as she wiped her cheeks once more before holding onto her friends hand and walk towards the car. Once both were buckled in and ready Jakotsu drove of to his apartment and as soon as they arrived he locked his front door, turned on the light and ordered her to sit on his sofa. Kagome walked over and sat down near the edge before placing her head in her hands as she sighed loudly. Now that she was indoors, she finally felt just how cold she was and started shivering. She looked down to see her hands shaking and red from the sudden change in temperature. She instantly remembered how sweet Inuyasha was when he...soon she felt a warm blanket around her shivering figure and looked up to see a smiling Jakotsu with a cup in one hand. Kagome looked at it then at him, Jakotsu chuckled lightly.
"Never seen a cup of coffee before Kag's."
Kagome gave a small smile before she gently outstretched her hand and cupped the warm mug, she hissed at first from the sudden burning feeling, before tightening her hold around the cup and bringing it up to her lips blowing the steam away carefully before taking a small sip. She instantly looked down at the dark contents as she kept seeing it swirl. Jakotsu sat down next to her and wrapped one arm around her shoulders.
"Kagome what in the world happened for you to leave so sudden?"
Kagome sighed "He found out."
Jakotsu's eyes widened as he heard this. His mind went blank only for a moment before asking "You mean the whole cover up." It was more of a statement than a question.
Kagome nodded slowly. Jakotsu leaned back on the sofa and gave a sigh as he rubbed his face. The time had come. He knew it would have happened sooner or later, and he definitely knew the problems that would soon follow from such an ordeal towards the couple, but now that it was here...he wished he had never spoken about that stupid plan in the beginning. He leaned forward again and spoke. "Tell me everything slowly Kaggie, I'm here."
Kagome nodded as she spoke "He came up to me and...and he showed me two photos. He questioned what was happenign in the photos." Kagome felt a tear fall as she sobbed once. "I looked closer and saw a sort of...before and after of me and Kazuki. Apparently Kikyo had managed to take them in secret, she was waiting for the moment to tell him about it. And one thing lead to another and..." Kagome bit her bottom lip as it quivered and she felt Jakotsu taking the mug from her hand in order to place it gently onto the coffee table opposite them. Jakotsu was shocked to say the least. He knew that girl was trouble, that was why he told Kagome to be careful. But the inevitable happened, and Jakotsu knew that Kagome must hate herself for various reasons.
Jakotsu then heard Kagome talk again. "I hate myself Jay. I hate the fact that I allowed this...lie to go for that long. That I allowed this relationship between Kagome and Kazuki carry on when I should have stopped it as soon as feelings caved in. I should have been the one to tell him, I should have stopped being a coward and told him the truth not from...her." Kagome said in distaste. "I should have been the one to tell him...but I'm a failure, a coward, I really am weak. Koga was right, I am weak, I can never be strong. Because when I was trying to be, I instantly failed. I'm good for nothing, all I do is cause problems for people, I'm a nuisance and...and Inuyasha had to pay for my stupidity and lack of control. I should have thought realistically instead of allowing the dream that I was living in carry on. This whole charade was my fault, and Inuyasha was the one hurt. Not Koga, but Inuyasha. I hate myself. Maybe...it's better this way."
Jakotsu was angry but allowed her to carry on talking all the bullshit she was sprouting at that moment.
"Maybe it's better that he hates me. Because what could I have ever been to him other than the girlfriend Kagome, or the best friend Kazuki. Eventually he'd be living with a fake, a lie, and a weak and pathetic human. Without me he'd be happier, he'll forget about me and I will never see him again. He was right his life was better without me in it."
Jakotsu had enough and stood up "ENOUGH KAGOME!"
Kagome was shocked at the anger and then felt Jakotsu lean in front of her and hold her hands in his. "Firstly, it is not your fault. Your choice for pretending to live a different identity might have been your choice, but no way was it your fault. I'm the one at fault for even thinking of such a ludicrous thought okay. Secondly, you are human Kagome. Humans make stupid mistakes, humans make inevitable and unconscious decisions without wanting to. You didn't mean to let it go on, you did because you didn't' want the moment to end, humans want to prolong things Kagome, not just you plenty of people have done that, and we would eventually all do that once in our life. You are not a coward, fright and cowardliness are two different things. Being a coward is a person who lacks courage when you have to go through stressful and dangerous moments, a weakling, a mouse. Being frightened is when you know that you will be hurt, that you will be in pain. However you endured all those months of pain from looking at Koga, from lying, you harboured all those feelings, all those emotions. You covered all your true feelings in order to do something no other women would. Pretending to be a boy and giving up your gender for a year is courageous, albeit people might think it is stupid, and foolish, but your actions behind them might look like pity to others, it is actually the symbol of a person with emotions, and with perseverance, with strength and with courage to prove something they find moreally wrong. You were courageous when you saved Hojo, when you beat Koga and when you saved Inuyasha. You are not weak, you are strong and the emotional turmoil you felt all in one go, would be too much for another person. Koga was a stupid pathetic bastard who does not think realistically so never ever think that for once the bullshit that comes out from his mouth is true rather cowardice and insensitive. You are never a problem or a nuisance, you help others when they need it, you were there for Sango when she was suffering from her own break-up, you were there for me when I used to get bullied, you were there for Hojo when he was an outcast, gave a good friend to Miroku, you were there for Kohaku on his first day at school, when your mother and father argued you were there for them both. And most importantly you were there for Inuyasha when he lost hope. You were his ray of hope and still are, you are his life and his shoulder to lean on when he needs it. You do think realistically, your the most realistic person I have ever met Kagome. You do not sugar coat anything, you are direct and to the point and if you ever do sugar coat something it isn't for a selfish reason, instead it is to protect someone special to you. So never hate yourself Kagome, because to me you are a woman that knew what she wanted to do, and was dead set on accomplishing it. You were a woman who wanted to prove your worth to everybody, someone who was certain and sure, filled with confidence to do the right thing. And even though you were not the one who actually told him the truth, don't ever forget that we will all regret something in our lives, but rather than blaming ourselves or others, we need to think of a solution, a means to by-pass such a situation. So please, rather than beating yourself over this and think it's your fault, relax for tonight and we will work out everything together. Inuyasha loves you, he will eventually see through the truth."
Kagome bit her bottom lip and nodded slowly as she hugged Jakotsu firmly, her head on his shoulder. "Thank you...Jay."
Jakotsu smiled and nodded as he patted and rubbed Kagome's back. Soon Kagome stayed in Jakotsu's room whilst he offered to stay on the sofa. She nodded since she knew it was futile. She changed in a shirt and a pair of sweats from Jaykotsu and as soon as her head hit her pillow she turned and saw a small radio next to her, she pressed the on button and as soon as she id she regretted it. Her hand fell limp on the mattress as her tears rolled down her eyes her cheeks and onto the pillow.
Maybe it's intuition.
But some things you just don't question.
Like in your eyes.
I see my future in an instant.
and there it goes.
I think I've found my best friend.
I know that it might sound more than.
a little crazy but I believe...
Inuyasha was sitting against the wall, his head laid back with his eyes closed, a bottle of beer in one hand along with around fifteen more empty around him. His mind was hazy and as he stood up he fell to the side and onto the floor, he gave a maniacal laugh as he pressed the bottle up to his lips and took a long drink. He then stood up slowly, his eyes squinting and his laughs resounding. He kept on tripping as he tried to reach his radio, he fell backward a little as his vision turned double and kept falling from side to side, slipping a little here and there. He managed to press the button and when he did he stood still...
I knew I loved you before I met you.
I think I dreamed you into life.
I knew I loved you before I met you.
I have been waiting all my life.
Inuyasha snarled and screamed as he threw the bottle against a wall causing it to shatter. He stepped backwards and hit a wall before sliding down and falling to the ground. "Ka-Kagome...Ka-Kag-Kagome." Inuyasha said quietly before laying down and slamming a fist on the floorboard as he clawed it screaming. "KAGOME!"
Kagome kept crying as she gripped her shirt and practically clawed at her chest as she cried helplessly against her pillow.
Inuyasha rolled onto his back and felt tears pouring from his eyes as he looked at the ceiling, however all he could see was Kagome. His Kagome smiling down at him, tucking a strand of ebony curl behind her ear as she giggled. Kagome running around in the beach, her smile once again warming his chest. Her voice, her beautiful sweet angelic voice "Inuyasha, hehe Inuyasha stop it."
Inuyasha cried out as he remembered the time they both made love. The day he had poured his true feelings to her. He instantly raised a finger to gently linger on his bottom lip. He closed his eyes and groaned in pain at his head as he thought of how beautiful she looked as she threw her head back and screamed, moaned his name, her words branding into his mind, her sweat, her skin embedded into memory. Her moans, her cries of pleasure, her pleading.
"Inuyasha...oh Inuyasha yes!"
"Yes Inuyasha...god Inuyasha...more."
"Inuyasha...INUYASHA!"
"I love you too Inuyasha."
Inuyasha opened his mouth slowly and raised his hand to the image of Kagome above him, his palm caressing an invisible angel above him. "K-Kagome...I-I love you too. I love you so god-damned much Kagome, WHY!" He instantly clawed at her image and clawed at his chest over his heart where he felt the constant pangs of pain squeeze his chest.
There's just no rhyme or reason.
only this sense of completion.
and in your eyes.
I see the missing pieces.
I'm searching for.
I think I found my way home.
I know that it might sound more than.
a little crazy but I believe...
Kagome looked up at the ceiling as she felt she could grab her invisible memory and bring it to life. "Inuyasha...Inuyasha..."
I knew I loved you before I met you.
I think I dreamed you into life.
I knew I loved you before I met you.
I have been waiting all my life.
Kagome sobbed as she gave a faint smile, picturing her Inuyasha smiling and twirling her around to their song. The song they both fell in love with. "I knew I loved you before I met you Inuyasha." She cried as she remembered how he had so perfectly lead her on the dance floor at the restaurant. How he had whispered in her ear such loving words of kindness, love, adoration. She cried even more as she brought both her hands above her remembering when she embraced him promising to love him forever.
"I love you Inuyasha." Kagome said before closing her eyes slowly, her vision of Inuyasha still grasped in her mind.
A thousand angels dance around you.
I am complete now that I found you.
I knew I loved you before I met you.
I think I dreamed you into life.
I knew I loved you before I met you.
I have been waiting all my life.
Inuyasha heard the last words fade, and along with the memories. He could see her face slowly evaporating as the song was ending. Inuyasha was quiet as he heard the rambling of the radio go on. Inuyasha sat up and turned to the top bunk bed, as he remembered...Kazuki. Inuyasha stood up and fell on the floor near the wall he had been previously. He couldn't look at the bunk beds. He couldn't stand the sight of sleeping in the same bed where he and Kagome had...had...had made love. Inuyasha instantly fell on the sofa, and felt last remnants of tears fall as his vision and drunk filled haze succumbed to the darkness.
"Kagome, please tell me it's not true. Not what Jakotsu said." Sango pleaded.
Kagome was sitting on her bed at home that she hared with Sango, and nodded sadly. "It's true."
Sango took a few deep breaths before speaking "That dumb bitch, that good for ntohing little, UGH."
Kagome clasped her hands on her lap as she couldn't face Sango. She bit her bottom lip and tried to not whimper at her yells.
"I hate that girl! She is so full of herself!" Sango instantly turned to Kagome and quickly ran to embrace her best friend and sister tightly. "Kagome, oh Kagome, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay."
Kagome cried into Sango's shoulder. It was around 3:00 and Kagome's parents were both still at work. However Kagome's mind was focused on something else. "What do I do about school now Sango. I'll need to tell mum and dad everything, I can't exactly go to Kurin and say I transferred from another school in case they talk to mum and dad."
Sango nodded sadly as she rubbed her back "I'll be there when you tell them Kag's."
"They will hate me, they'll disown me, they'll be disappointed with me."
Sango shook her head furiously as she patted her sister's head. "They love you way too much Kagome. Mum and dad will understand."
Kagome however highly doubted that.
Inuyasha hadn't come into school thought Miroku and Hojo as they looked around. Neither had Kazuki. Miroku leaned near Hojo and spoke "Oi, where do you think they are? I haven't seen Inuyasha since he disappeared yesterday, and Kazuki did also. He even missed practice and he never does."
Hojo nodded in agreement and wondered the exact same thing. They both simply disappeared yesterday and no-body knew where they were. Hojo decided to go over to their dorm after Science was over. And soon enough once Science finished, both Miroku and Hojo agreed to check the dorm. As they entered Miroku tentatively knocked on the door, as he heard the radio playing? Why would the radio be on?
Miroku knocked once more "Hey Yasha, mate where are you we haven't seen you all day you in there?"
No answer.
Miroku turned to Hojo and saw his worried face. Hojo knocked this time and spoke "Hey Inuyasha, you in there? Can we come in?"
Hojo sighed and turned to Miroku who nodded and grabbed the handle opening the door. What they saw was not what they expected. Miroku looked down and kicked an empty glass bottle of beer, and heard the glass roll. Hojo bent down and held up other bottles, he looked around the room and saw them scattered around. They notice the curtains were broken, the sofa was thrown to one side of the room, the kitchen was ruined and blood stained marred the pale wall. They soon both saw the figure of Inuyasha on the floor, his bloodied fists limp against the floor, his legs carelessly moving here and then. His whimpers and growls reaching the ears of both Miroku and Hojo.
They both ran over to him and Miroku bent down before slapping Inuyasha's face gently. "Oi, oi!" Miroku said slapping him again. However Inuyasha didn't budge.
Hojo looked around and shook his head "He must have drunk himself senseless last night, he'd be to beat up mentally to even wake up now. Let's put him on the bed and wait for him to wake up."
Miroku thought for a moment before nodding and as the two boys were about to help move Inuyasha they heard him speak. "Kagome...Ka-Kag...Kagome. Why...why..." Inuyasha slurred before falling limp once again. Hojo was shocked, Miroku probably had no idea exactly what Inuyasha just said meant, however he knew. He must have foudn out abotu Kagome. He must have found about Kagome and Kazuki. That would make sense, Kagome wasn't in the room and byt he loks of it, the mess could have been from the rage Inuyasha felt after hearing the news.
Hojo turned to Miroku "Miroku, let's put him on the bed."
Kagome was staring at the table. Boy she kept doing a lot of southward staring. She could feel the aura of both her parents as they were sitting on the other side.
"What exactly were you thinking." said Kenji without any emotion in his words, his arms crossed. Ayuka was looking at the table, her fingers intertwined and her eyes wide with confusion.
Kagome swallowed nervously "I...I wanted to take revenge on K-Koga. I wanted to prove to him I wasn't weak."
"Don't you think you could have done that nay other way rather than...than..." Kenji looked away and sighed heavily.
Ayuka placed a hand on her husbands leg before turning to Kagome. "Kagome, sweetie, what you did was really foolish. What exactly did you think you'd accomplish by committing such an act?"
Kagome bit her lip as she played with her hands "I thought that...that I could beat him, and show him that even someone as...small as me could be strong."
Kenji's eyes was covered by his bangs as he spoke "Did you feel that factors such as lying and betrayal wouldn't outweigh the factors of accomplishment." Kenji said staring straight into his daughters eyes.
Kagome swallowed nervously and bowed "I am sorry. I will understand if you feel betrayed, I will understand if you don't want me any more. I am so sorry for doing something so foolish, I hated every minute of it, yet someone told me that we were all humans and that..." Kagome licked her lips "...that we all feel regret once in our lives. I regret that I had to lie to both of you, but I do not regret going, I do not regret it one bit, the experience helped me understand life better. I made new friends..." Kagome thought of Hojo and Miroku as they smiled at her. Kagome smiled at the memory and looked at the table. "...I learnt that everyone big or small can succeed in life." Hojo. "I learnt that every-body can simply just be there to make you laugh, to keep you entertained." Miroku. "I learnt that...encouragement, sympathy, attention and love can change a person's views on life. How something as simple as encouraging someone can make them feel as if they are the most important person in the world, accepted." Kagome smiled sadly as she thought of Inuyasha. However she held her head high, done was the scared innocent girl. She would take full responsibility of her failures. "I learnt that you don't need to seek revenge, that it is petty and unnecessary, lying is cruel and hurtful, betraying..." 'Inuyasha' "...betraying people you love is out of line. I learnt to get over such a petty feeling and anger towards Koga, I managed to learn that not everyone is the same, not everything has to be surrounded by such meaningful excuses. I will take full responsibility of my actions and will leave if that is what you wish." Kagome stood up and bowed "Mother, father."
Kenji stared at his daughter, and as he did he too stood up, Ayuka instantly standing up also. Kenji walked around the table and towards Kagome. Kagome was waiting for the smack, the shouting the anger anything. However she felt hands on her shoulders turn her around gently before her body was enveloped in arms. Kagome was shocked as her eyes widened.
"D-Dad-"
"Never thin we don't want you. Off course I'm angry, I'm furious even. But I know how hard it must have been for you to tell me such a secret. And even though I know you deserve to be grounded, I am so proud of what you have done all the same. You made a decision on your own, good or bad you've made it. You spoke like a true woman, and you learnt lessons in life not even adults nowadays know. Me and your mother will still ground you off course, however, your courage to come and tell us no matter how late has made us proud."
Kagome turned to see her mother smiling as Kenji let go of her and she fell in the warm arms of her mother. Ayuka embraced her tightly as a tear left her her "We both love you very much Kagome dear. Never ever think otherwise."
Kagome cried as she nodded and embraced both her parents, thanking them over and over. Sango was leaning against the staircase as she heard everything. She gave a warm smile "Well done. Kagome."
Inuyasha's eyes slowly started to open but instantly closed them after feeling the sun hit them. However as he re-opened them he noticed something he missed before. Two figures looming over him whispering.
"I think he's waking up Hojo."
"Really, I'm almost done tidying up though."
"Just get over here" Said Miroku. Hojo sighed and walked over.
Inuyasha was confused and raised a slow hand against his forehead as he felt a horrible ringing. "Ah well look who's awake." Miroku said in a sing song voice.
Inuyasha sat up slowly and instantly regretted it as he felt a loud banging sound in his head. He groaned a little and stared at Miroku "What...What time is it?"
Miroku sighed "Mate you've been out the whole day. It's 5:30, school was over ages ago and you disappeared yesterday."
Inuyasha blinked and then looked around to see Hojo. "Hojo? why are you two here?" Inuyasha grumbled out as he stood up realising where he got up from her turned around and saw the bed. His bed. Their bed. Inuyasha quickly growled as he remembered the incident yesterday and growled as he clawed at the sheets. Miroku and Hojo were shocked but were instantly holding him back.
"Inuyasha, mate relax! Calm the fuck down man!" Miroku kept repeating as he tried to hold his friend back.
"LET ME GO! I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT, I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER" Yelled Inuyasha as he tried to get out of Miroku and Hojo's grip.
Hojo knew now for sure, that yesterday must have been the day. "Inuyasha, I know, I know it's horrible but let me explain." Those weren't exactly the right words as he heard Inuyasha stop growling and turned around to face him.
"You knew. You fucking knew!" Inuyasha said lunging for Hojo.
Miroku lost his grip and Hojo felt a push of his chest and fell back with Inuyasha holding onto the collar of his shirt. "You knew about Kagome's secret yet you, you-"
"I had to she begged me! I found out on a whim as well, but I had to otherwise she wouldn't be able to accomplish what she wanted to do!" Hojo said, knowing however much Kagomes actions must have hurt the poor hanyou, that she was not cold hearted as Inuyasha must seem to think.
"What she wanted to accomplish?! She fucking pretended to be a boy! What would she accomplish with that?!"
Miroku was shocked. Kagome...was a boy? No wait, Kauzki wasn't here, so Kagome...was...Kazuki? Then it clicked, off course all those signs, the unbelievably quick friendship she had sporuted with Inuyasha, the way she would run away during shower time, cover herslef in a shit tone of cologne, the way she held herself, her small body and very lady like gentle hands. The reason she looked so hot at the Gala Festival, so believable. But why?
Hojo growled back and pushed Inuyasha off him "It;s not my place to say Inuyasha. She needs to tell you herself, but trust me it isn't what you think! If you think she's cold hearted and cruel then you are solely mistaken, hear her out and you'll understand."
Inuyasha took deep breaths as he kicked the newly placed sofa. "Get out both of you."
Hojo sighed and grabbed Miroku before turning around. "You need to learn that not every-body are what they seem. Kagome had her reasons, I know your hurt, but don't drink yourself to death and talk to her. It's the only way to get rid of your pain." Hojo said calmly before closing the door.
Miroku was confused and crossed his arms "Explain please."
Hojo sighed and nodded "Come on." And with that they turned to leave with worried faces a very pissed of and seemingly uncontrollable Hanyou behind.
Inuyasha kicked the sofa once more as he took deep breaths. He leaned against a wall and looked around the dorm. He hated it, it suffocated him. The scent of Kagome was still visible and very much noticeable. He growled yet felt his body heat up. He noticed how her belongings were still in the room and wanted to scream out of anger, sadness and beg for her to come back. He couldn't stay here nay longer, too many memories of Kagome lingered throughout the apartment, the school, the courts, the gym. To many damn memories flogged this school, this place, he couldn't handle it, he knew he wouldn't be able to. She had broken him, he had stabbed his heart and he still wanted to find her and kiss her senseless begging her to come back to him. However he knew it wouldn't work out like that. And he knew it, he knew he couldn't drink himself senseless, he couldn't wallow in pity and sadness, but she was still so fresh in his memories. In his heart. Inuyasha turned to the bedside table to see his phone. He slowly walked over before looking at the contraption, his shaky hand grabbing it before flipping it open. He looked at the lock screen and felt his chest tighten as his legs gave out and he fell on the bed. He held his head as he saw the photo of him and Kagome. He took shaky breaths as his body and heart quickened with pain and pleasure at the thought of her face, her name, her body, her scent. He had to forget about her.
He had to forget, he had to erase her from his memories, and he had to it soon while it's still a fresh wound. So with that in thought Inuyasha opened his phone and hesitantly but eventually pressed the number 3.
RING RING
RI- "Hello?"
Inuyasha's eyes were covered by his bangs. "Father."
"Inuyasha. What is that you want?"
Inuyasha bit his bottom lip, his mobile free hand fisting harshly as he pictured Kagome once again in that beautiful red dress he had bought her. Her curves, her scent, her dark iris's that he could melt it. The skin he could touch for hours and hours and the silkiness of her hair that could so easily wrap around his fingers. Her voice, the voice that soothed him that protected him.
"Son I am very occupied what do you wa-"
"Father where is my position as CEO going to be held?"
"In America my son but why-"
"I want to go to America."
Well there you go every-body. I am so so sorry I was very ill, and it annoying I tired putting on my computer but it was such a hassle, and believe me I felt horrible not updating quickly enough. Especially with all the lovely reviews and the amount the last chapter got me over 40 chapters! ^^ XD about that... THANK YOU SO MUCH! ^.^ I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. I loved each and every one of them. My mail was buzzing so much this time around which gave me the strength to make this chapter as long as it is now. I'm sorry for the cliffhanger but I find it to be a very dramatic end to this chapter. Remember two more chapters, or one depending on how long the next chapter is, if what I have planned for the next chapter is not lengthy enough then I'll mesh the last two together, or if it is lengthy then that means two separate ones.
Well remember more reviews faster update ^^