One week ago today Liz Forbes lost her battle. One week ago Caroline lost her mother. To the outside world, she was healing. One thing Caroline was good at was hiding emotion. She wasn't one that liked people to think she was weak. When Elena, Damon, or Matt asked how she was she smiled and lied. She always responded with "It's getting better each day." The truth was it was getting worse with time. She found herself calling her mom's number every Saturday out of habit, only to remember there was no one to answer it. Every night she'd curl up next to Stefan and let the silent tears escape from her eyes. He was the only one she let herself fall apart in front of. He was the only one that knew her true pain, and it scared him.
Stefan sighed and rolled over as the morning light crept through his window. He was surprised to find his bed empty. Ever since that night, Caroline always slept next to him. He tried to calm his mind, thinking that she must have woken up first and needed something, but he could only think of the worst. He threw off the covers and headed downstairs in search of the blonde. However, the only person he found was Elena.
"Hey can we talk." Elena asked. "I'm worried about Caroline, I don't think she's handling this as well as she thinks she is."
"Yeah, have you seen her?" he avoided her statement. He was growing more worried.
"I thought she was still upstairs with you." Elena answered, now sharing in his worry.
"No, I woke up and she was gone. I don't want to smother her Elena, but I don't want something bad to happen."
"You don't want her to turn it off." Elena said as if reading his mind and he nodded. "Do you really think she'd do that?"
"Did you ever think you would until it happened?"
"I'll help you look for her." She avoided the question, because she knew the situation Caroline was in all too well.
Stefan paused remembering what day it was. "I know where she is." and with that he was outside getting into his car.
He drove dangerously over the speed limit, anxious to get to the cemetery. He hoped he wasn't wrong. He had a strong feeling that Caroline would want to feel as close to mother as she could. He knew she was trying to be strong. Last night though tears she told him how it would only be a week since her mother left, but it felt like years. The days were dragging on, and he knew how that felt. When his mother died seconds felt like hours. Now, she was feeling the same.
He put the car in park, but didn't bother shutting the door behind him. She was there, kneeling over her mother's grave. He blonde hair was blowing around her face from the wind, but he still saw her tear stained face. He debating on if he should go to her. He knew she was aware of him, because when he pulled up her head tilted slightly.
"I can't do this." he heard her say, either to him or to Liz.
"You're stronger than that." he whispered back, hoping she was listening.
She shook her head before looking at him. There was a trace of blood under her mouth and he went to her, wiping it off.
"Caroline…"
"Don't worry, it was just a bunny…" she fell into him, sobs taking her over.
Ever since their first hunting season she refused to kill bunnies, something about a pet she once had. So, he knew these tears weren't just for her mom, a small part of them were for her kill.
"Hey, look at me." he gently moved her face up so he could look into her eyes. "You are going to get through this."
Again, she shook her head. "I don't want to, Stefan. That's the thing. Now I know how easy it can be to turn it off. When not feeling anything is better than feeling this loss and this pain."
"Caroline, please…" he was begging her to stay with him. "She wouldn't want this."
"How do I keep it on, when I have nothing left but darkness?"
"You have me, let me be your light. Let me help you heal. I know it's not easy, and right now it seems impossible. But I won't let you lose yourself."
She fell into him, and he felt her nod. She was agreeing to let him take care of her. She knew he wouldn't let her down. He'd be her light.