Chapter Thirteen: Changes
Jeff's POV:
Things got a little easier between me and Taylor as time went on. When she was almost done with her physical therapy, two months after moving to Cameron, I decided it was time to go back to work. I had put off my return for nearly three months and I missed my fans, not that I didn't love bonding with my daughter. TNA had a show in Raleigh so I decided to talk to Dixie and make my return there. She agreed and I sat Taylor down to talk about it.
"Hey, Kid," I said as we sat down for her to have her afternoon snack. "How was school?"
"It's school, Jeff. People either want to be my best friend because I'm a Hardy or they hate me because I'm a Hardy. What do you expect in high school?"
"I'm sorry that you're having a hard time."
"They would've found something to pick on me about even if it wasn't that. Doesn't matter. I don't even let it bother me anymore," she said as she started picking at the celery sticks with peanut butter Amy left for her before going over to Matt's. "Where's Amy? She's normally here when I get home from school."
"I asked her to go hang out with Matt so we could talk about something."
"Am I in trouble?"
"No," I said laughing. "Why do you ask?"
"Because usually when an adult wants to talk to me alone, I'm in some kind of trouble," she said with a smirk.
"No, no trouble, unless there's something I should know?"
She cocked her head to the side like she was thinking for a minute.
"Nothing really. You don't give me a lot of rules to break, so there's not much I can do to get into trouble."
"I give you rules, I just give you the freedom to make your own choices, too," I said slightly defensive, remembering what Michael told me the day Taylor got out of the hospital.
"I know. It's just since you basically just ask me to be honest with you so we can work on things and that you want me to be free to be who I am for the first time in my life, there's not a lot I can do to get into trouble, unless I start lying, which I haven't done."
"Good to know," I said smiling at her.
"So what did you want to talk about if I'm not in trouble?"
"Well, remember I told you I would be going back to work eventually?"
"Yeah."
"Well the promotion I work for has a few shows here in North Carolina next week, starting in Raleigh on Friday night. I'm going back then."
"Wow," she said, putting her celery down. "That's soon."
"It's been a few months, Taylor. I know the time has gone by real fast, but I was supposed to make my in-ring return nearly three months ago. I don't regret putting it off, I've loved spending time with you and getting to know you, but you're physical therapy is almost done and it's time for me to go back to work."
"I understand."
"But, with the shows being here in North Carolina next week I can bring you with me to the shows. You can hang out backstage and see how things are run."
"Really? You'll bring me with you?" she asked brightening up.
"Yeah. I was even thinking about inviting my boss and some of the wrestlers over here for a party before I go back. This way you can meet them before I take you on the road for the weekend."
"That's awesome, Jeff!"
"There's only one thing I need from you if you're coming with me next weekend, Taylor."
"What?"
"You need to bring your schoolwork and make sure your homework is done by Sunday night. I need to know if I bring you on the road with me on the weekends you're still gonna do your homework."
"No problem."
Taylor got quiet.
"Is something wrong, Taylor?"
"Not really. I don't think," she started. "It's not about me anyway."
"What's it about, then?"
"You. Well, you and Amy."
I had to struggle not to let my jaw drop.
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to see something that's not there, but I swear I see something in your eyes when you look at her when she looks at you. I don't know what it is, but when she's not looking, you have a look in your eyes and when you're not looking, she has that same look. Is there something going on? Or should something be going on that's not because of me?"
"Right now, all I can say is Amy and I have been close friends for a very long time, Taylor."
"Alright, Jeff. Just… I get that you must have loved my mom at some point so her dying must have been just as hard for you as it was for me, but if there is something there between you and Amy, don't ignore it because of me. Okay? Promise?"
I laughed.
"I promise that I would not stop living my life for you, Taylor. You are the most important part of my life now, but if I found someone I loved that I thought would fit into our life here, I promise that I won't ignore the chance."
"Thanks. I don't want to feel like I destroyed your life by coming here," she said looking at the piece of celery in her hand.
I got up and hugged her.
"You didn't destroy my life, Taylor. Don't you ever think that. I've wanted you here for a very, very long time. You've made my life better, even if the situation was bad. I love you, Taylor and I would never think you destroyed my life and I really don't want you to think that either."
I kissed her forehead. She put her celery down and hugged me tightly.
"How about this, you finish your snack and do your homework, then we can go to Leaps of Fate and do some motocross when you're done?"
"Really? Even though it's a school night?"
"If you do your homework and know you still need to get up for school tomorrow then why not?"
"Definitely!"
"Awesome," I said to her. "I'll be back in a little bit. I'm going over to BCR to talk to Matt and Amy. If you finish your homework before I come home, call my cell and I'll come back so we can go out back, alright?"
"Sure. I'll see you a little later, Jeff."
Taylor went back to her snack. I kissed the top of her head, grabbed my car keys and cell phone, leaving her in the kitchen. I drove the mile and a half to Matt's house and took a minute to brace myself before I went inside.
Matt and Amy were hanging out in the living room talking. I questioned what I was doing, but I had spent nearly a month trying to figure it out. Knowing there was a possibility that Amy was going to leave the Hardy Compound soon I decided I needed to do it, I just didn't know what to do.
"Hey Jeff, how's Taylor?" Matt asked, seeing me walk in his living room.
"Having a snack. After she does her homework we're gonna go to Leaps of Fate to do some motocross later if you two want to come."
"You left her alone?" Amy asked.
"She's fifteen. I'm a three minute drive and believe me, the girl knows how to use a phone," I said, laughing.
"Still, she shouldn't be alone when she eats, Jeff. You told me you'd stay with her while she ate."
I'd forgotten.
"She ate about half of the celery by the time I left," I said.
"I'm gonna go check on her," Amy said as she got up. "I'll talk to you later, Matt."
"I'm sorry, Amy. Here, take my car. I'll have Matt give me a ride back to my place," I said giving her my keys.
"It's fine, Jeff. I just don't want her to be tempted to throw the food away and lie about it."
"She hasn't given us a reason to think she'll lie to us, Amy."
"No, but anorexics are different when it comes to food. I just want to make sure, Jeff."
Amy left. I ran my hands through my blue hair, turning back to my older brother.
"I'm an idiot."
"Sometimes," Matt said, laughing.
"Not funny. Amy's right. I did tell her I'd make sure Taylor ate and then I left her alone. She's never lied to us, but I guess I didn't think about the fact that for someone with anorexia food is a whole different ballgame."
"You've been a father for three months, Jeff. Taylor hasn't gotten hurt, maimed or killed. I don't think you're doing a bad job," Matt said with a serious face.
I started laughing.
"Asshole."
"So what brings you to the BCR today?"
"I can't just come visit my big bro?"
"Nope. What's up?"
"I told Taylor I'm going back to work. TNA will be in North Carolina next weekend, starting with Raleigh on Friday night. I'm returning then and I'm gonna bring her with me when I go."
"How she'd take it?"
"Not too bad. I told her I'm gonna invite some of the people I work with over for a party before we go on the road. She seemed okay with that. Then somehow we got on a conversation about her being worried she ruined my life by being here."
"Why does she think that?"
"She thinks that there's something going on between me and Amy that we won't give into because of her."
"Is there?" Matt asked cautiously.
Shit. I shouldn't have said that.
I took a deep breath.
"Amy and me, we're just friends, Matt. You know that."
"But?"
"What do you mean, 'but?'"
"What are you not telling me Jeff?"
"Something did happen. The night we did her room at my place."
Anger flashed on Matt's face and he pinned me to his living room wall faster than I could register.
"What do you mean something happened, Jeffrey?" Matt asked.
"I kissed her," I coughed out. "We were having a beer and I kissed her. We started making out and then I came to my senses and went to the Imag-I-Nation. That's all, Matt."
Matt went to punch me. I shifted and got out of his grip.
"What the hell, Jeff?!"
"I don't know! It just happened!"
He rushed me, but I twisted around him, staying out of his grip.
"What the hell do you mean it just happened?!"
"I realized that when she smiles it lights up the room and I feel something, Matt! I can't help that." I said pleading with my brother to understand.
"How could you do that to me?!"
"To you?! You and Amy broke up years ago! The two of you have been nothing but friends for a long time! And for your information, I don't think anything will ever come between me and her because she pretty much shut me down!"
Matt had been inching towards me while I explained. He punched me in the jaw.
"I think you need to go, Jeff."
"Fine."
I left and slammed the door behind me. I started the walk back to my place, not wanting to call Amy to pick me up. It seemed like the only one not pissed off at me was Taylor at this point.
Taylor's POV:
Amy came in the door and sat down at the table with me.
"Are you okay?" I asked, taking a bite out of the piece of celery in my hand.
"Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine. You seem annoyed. Did Jeff piss you off?"
"He told me he'd stay with you until you finished eating and then didn't. It just annoyed me that he said he'd do something and didn't."
"I'm okay, Amy. I don't need to be watched all the time."
"I know. It's only when you're eating. You know I prefer someone be with you when you eat so we know how much you eat."
I groaned in my head.
"I know. I wish you'd trust me. When I don't eat, I've told you ultimately. I feel guilty if I break that promise to you."
"It's not about a promise to me, Sweetie. It's about getting you healthy. You look better. I think you've put on a few pounds since you've moved here and it really makes you look more alive."
I tried not to panic about her mentioning that I may have gained weight. She was right that I needed to. I'd been wearing a size zero forever.
"I know, I just wish you'd trust me a little more. I don't lie in the food journal you asked me to keep, even if I don't eat as much as you asked me to eat and if you ask me a direct question I've always been honest with you."
"I do trust you, Taylor."
"Then is this about my father?"
"What do you mean?"
"I see the way you look at him."
"What do you mean?"
"You and him, when the other's not looking, you look at each other the same way. It's like you're confused."
"That's one way to put it."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing," Amy said clamming up. "That's between me and Jeff. I'm going to let you finish your snack on your own. Maybe I'll go to Leaps of Fate with you and Jeff later. So, hurry with your snack and get your homework done. I'm going outside to make a phone call if you need me."
I smiled at her.
"Thanks for trusting me, Amy."
"You're right that you haven't given me a reason not to."
Amy hugged me and walked outside with her cell phone.
Jeff's POV:
Flashback: 9 years ago:
"It's gonna be okay, Amy," I said holding my brother's now ex-girlfriend in my arms. "Matt's pissed off now, but the three of us have been so close for so long, he'll come around and see this is for the best. You'll see, the two of you will find a way to be friends again."
"How can you say that? You've seen what he's been doing, Jeff. He's going off-script so much the company has incorporated our relationship problems into storylines. People think I'm a whore, Jeff! I never meant to hurt Matt, but we grew apart. I should've told him, but that was the only thing I did wrong here!" she exclaimed as she cried on my chest.
"I know. Matt is just really hard to deal with sometimes. You know that. He's stubborn when he's hurt and right now he's hurt. When he stops hurting he'll see he's out of line and come around. In the meantime, I'm still here for you."
"For now."
"Why do you say that?"
"The company will turn you against Lita and we'll grow apart."
"I'm not going anywhere, Amy. You're one of my best friends and I can't imagine my life without you. I love you and I don't want to see you hurt. I'm always going to be here for you."
"You're one of the best friends I'll ever have, Jeff."
I held the crying woman close to me, aching for the pain my own older brother was putting her through. Yes, she'd hurt him, but all the signs were there that the relationship was in trouble for a while. He ignored them. Now he's acting ignorant and betrayed, taking everything out on her, when he could have saved the relationship if he had looked at what was right in front of him… An amazing, fiery woman who wanted nothing more than someone who would love her for who she was.
Present:
I was brought out of the memory of how broken Amy was when her and Matt broke up by my cell ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the number, expecting it to be Taylor. It was Amy. I answered the phone as I continued my walk home.
"Hey, Aimes. Is Taylor alright?" I asked, trying to keep what happened with me and Matt out of my voice.
"She's fine. She's inside eating."
"So she didn't throw her food out when I left, then."
"No. And I'm sorry I overreacted, Jeff. I'm gonna try to stop. She had the same conversation with me you did before I left to come back here. You're both right. I'm hovering and I should trust her unless she gives me reason not to, which she hasn't."
"So is that what you called me for?"
"Did I interrupt something?"
"No. Sorry. What's up, Aimes?"
"Did Taylor bring up you and me being together to you?"
"Yeah. She said something about it, why?"
"She just brought it up to me, too."
"I didn't ask her to. I swear, Aimes. You asked me to let it go and I did."
"I know. But I think we need to talk, Jeff."
"I'll be home in about ten minutes. I'm walking home now."
"Walking? What happened with Matt driving you?"
"We got into a fight, he punched me and told me to leave."
"Why were you fighting?"
"I told him I kissed you."
"Why, Jeff?"
"I couldn't keep hiding it. It felt wrong."
"And he hit you?!"
"Yeah. He's still pretty possessive of you. Or he just doesn't want me touching you. I don't know."
"I'll deal with Matt."
"Don't. This is between me and my brother."
"Jeff…"
"No. Really. I'll be fine. We can talk when I get home. Just don't tell Taylor about this. I want to see if my jaw is bruising before I tell her."
"I won't tell her."
"Thanks, Aimes. I'll see you in a few."
I hung up the phone and kept walking, wondering what would happen when Amy and I finally talked about things. It took me just over the ten minutes to get to the house. When I did, I was grateful that Taylor was upstairs in her room doing her homework. I was able to get right into my room unnoticed to check the damage that Matt had done to me.
Looking in the mirror, I could see that there was some slight swelling in my jaw and I knew that it was going to bruise. I cursed to myself, hating that my brother was such an asshole sometimes. Walking back outside, I went to the kitchen and got some ice to control the swelling in my jaw.
"He caught you good, didn't he?" Amy asked, coming up behind me.
"I'll be fine. I've taken worse hits. Mark. Both Marks, actually," I said, referring to Mark, The Undertaker of the WWE and Mark, known as Bubba Ray Dudley to the WWE and known now as Bully Ray in TNA. "I can take a hit."
"He shouldn't have hit you."
"I shouldn't have told him. I knew he'd be pissed off."
"You have a right to do what you want. Matt and I have been over for like a decade. He has no right. If anyone had a right to hit you over what happened that night it was me and I didn't. I didn't want to."
I looked at Amy. The light coming in the window made her hair glow.
"It doesn't matter. You said you wanted to talk to me?"
"Sit down," she said, sitting down at the table herself.
I sat down across from her, keeping the ice on my jaw.
"So let's talk. What did you want to talk about, Aimes?"
"You know what. Whatever it is that happened between us."
"I'm not pushing. If I am, I'm sorry, I'll stop."
"That's not what I mean. Taylor says she sees you looking at me when I'm not looking."
"I can't help it, Amy. There have been so many times where I've been there for you, held you as you cried, made you laugh when you thought things were hopeless. Now you're doing the same for me, but I feel like maybe there should be more between us. I crossed that line once and you asked me not to and I'm trying not to, but I can't help the way I feel."
"I know. You haven't pressured me, Jeff. But Taylor says she sees the same looks from me towards you."
"She told me that, too. I just didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to push anything between us. I'd rather have you as my friend, like you've been for all these years, then not have you because I pushed something you asked me not to."
"I'm not sure anymore, Jeff."
"What do you mean?"
"The more I think about it, you have been my rock for all these years. Yeah, ultimately Matt and I got to be close friends after our break-up. But it was you, Jeff. You were the one who was there for me no matter what. Through the good and the bad, you never gave it a second thought, if I needed a friend, you were there for me. You've always loved me for who I was."
"You're perfect the way you are. I don't care what anyone else says."
"That's my point. Everyone says that my relationship with Matt was epic, but it wasn't like that from the beginning and you know it."
"I know."
"But you and me, we clicked right away and we've always gotten along easily."
"And I've loved every minute of it. I've loved going out with you for tattoos and other things that people call crazy. I loved that I could talk art, music, and poetry with you as easily as I could talk wrestling."
"Exactly. We were always on the same page with each other. I was so scared that when I messed things up with Matt I'd lose you too."
"He messed that up as much as you did. If he opened his eyes, all the signs were there that you weren't happy. He just wouldn't see them."
"I still shouldn't have cheated."
"No, you shouldn't have."
"But me and Matt grew apart. You and me, we just kept growing closer over the years."
"So what does this mean, Amy?"
"Maybe we should give us a try after all."
Even though it hurt, I couldn't help but smile. I got up and kissed her.
"You've just made me the happiest man in the world, Amy Dumas, and I plan on making you the happiest woman."
She laughed and kissed me again. I didn't care how Matt would react to us actually dating at that point. Amy and I were going to give it a try, finally. I was happy. I had my daughter, I had Amy, and I had my career.