A/N: I am sooo super nervous about this chapter.. this is a very difficult story to write. Thank you for your support:
The steady beeping of the machines, you have discovered, has become almost a reassurance. It means your wife is doing okay; by no means is she stable (as has been told to you numerous times by the staff) and she is still in critical condition. But the beeping is still there; and it is constant.
As the hours click by, and you hit the two day mark, the absolute magnitude of what is occurring begins to hit you. The shock is wearing off and you are able to think a bit more clearly; and regardless of the outcome of the biopsy, you are certain of one thing. You will never take another day for granted.
You try to recall everything that has been told to you, all the medical information; and it is downright overwhelming. It has been basically broken down for you into two categories, and each of those have subcategories
The first is that the tumor is benign, and it is everything you and everyone else are hoping for. JJ would still require extensive rehabilitation, and follow up for years to come; and there was no guarantee that she would ever be the same as she was. The medical team had reiterated numerous times that a brain tumor- malignant or not- is dangerous; and they cannot determine the extent of any damage done until JJ wakes up. And with the amount of pressure in her brain, and trauma done to the organ, the staff has placed her into a medically induced coma. You do not understand all of the medical terminology being tossed around, but find yourself trusting the staff to do what is best. What else can you do?
The second is something you try not to think about; the idea that the tumor is malignant. That JJ has cancer. You don't want to play the what if game right now, and have decided that regardless of the outcome, you will decide what to do then.
The team has been by, numerous times actually. There is rarely a moment when you are alone with JJ; and for that you are grateful.
Hotch seems to come by the most and you can see it in the experienced profiler's features; he is beyond worried about JJ. You had spoken with him about what had exactly happened and during that conversation you had learned so much; so much you had no clue had gone on.
He had told you what had occurred, just prior to the phone call. The team had all been out in the field, she, Morgan and Hotch had gone together to interview someone they thought was their UNSUB. They had been correct, and as they had searched the warehouse, their suspect took off running; the team following.
It was JJ who had found him, caught up to him, it was JJ who nearly had him, Hotch behind her. Then, it simply stopped. He had watched in horror as JJ suddenly stopped running and he caught her just as she simply collapsed to the ground.
He had told you how JJ, in his arms, had begun to seize, how the UNSUB didn't matter right then, how JJ, as he placed her on the floor turned a sickish color of white and blue.
"She stopped breathing, Will." Hotch had told you, "She just stopped breathing." He looked like you had never seen him before, Hotch actually looked terrified. "Morgan immediately called for an ambulance, we started CPR."
You hadn't imagined it being that bad, and all you could think to do was tell Hotch a simple thank you. A thank you for saving JJ's life; and you counted your lucky stars that he had been there.
"JJ." You lean over and rub her forehead, mindful of the tubes. "You keep fighting, love. The doctors are taking great care of you, and you are showing them who is boss." You cannot help but smile just looking at her. "I love you, JJ."
It is some hours later when Dr. Greer enters the room. You cannot take in all of the information that is being loaded off to you; it is simply too much. Words such as drain, medically induced coma, therapy, ventilation and a secondary surgery have all been mentioned to you in the last few minutes.
"Mr. LaMontagne?" You look up to see Dr. Greer looking down at you. "Are you following me?" She asks softly, somehow knowing she had lost you.
You shake your head, being honest with the now familiar doctor. "No." You glance back over at your wife and take her hand in your own. "No."
"That's okay, I gave you a lot of information." She reaches behind you and grabs a binder. "You do not need to look at it all right now, but it describes what Agent Jareau has been diagnosed with."
"I… I don't know what to do." You confess. "What do I do?"
She reaches over and hands you a tissue. "This is what I can tell you. When Agent Jareau was first brought into our ER, the physician was unable to stop the seizures. She ordered a CT and an MRI and that was when we discovered the large mass."
You nod. "The one you had to remove."
Dr. Greer nods again. "Yes. We initially went in hoping to remove all of it, unfortunately, Agent Jareau's condition rapidly deteriorated and we had to stop." She pauses and you realize she is making sure you are following her. You give her a nod, telling her to continue. "During the procedure, we were able to remove some of the tumor and we sent it off to biopsy."
You feel your heartbeat increase dramatically and what is about to come. "No." You find yourself shaking your head, already knowing the answer.
"I'm so sorry." She tells you and all you can do is nod.