"Am I out of luck? Am I waiting to break?
When I keep sayin' that I'm lookin' for a way to escape
Oh I'm wishin' I had what I'm takin' for granted
I can't have you and I'm only gonna do you wrong
Oh, I'm gonna mess this up, oh, this is just my luck
Over and over and over again
I'm sorry for everything, no, everything I've done
From the second that I was born and since I had a loaded gun
And then I shot, shot, shot a hole through everything I loved
Oh I shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that I loved."
-'Shots' by Imagine Dragons
XXX
Danny was the first person Laura ever had sex with, which meant she wasn't prepared to wake up in an empty bed with lipstick still smeared on her neck, breasts, and hips. Danny for one never wore lipstick, only the occasional lip gloss, second she always spent the night especially the first one. And she cuddled, and most definitely did not leave Laura sore. Of course Danny also never exceeded past giving three orgasms and she certainly didn't have nowhere near as much skill with her tongue like Carmilla had.
Laura let Carmilla skip out three more times before bringing it up. "Do you think that maybe, you'd want to spend the night again?" She held her breath, nervous and terrified from Carmilla's answer of a predictable no.
"Spend the night?" Carmilla asked dubiously from where she was pulling her pants back on.
Laura stared down at her hands. "Yeah, it's just, you always leave right after and-"
Carmilla cut her off, "And you want me to stay and cuddle. Sorry cutie, I don't do fuzzy and warm."
You did that one night. Laura thought bitterly before scoffing, "Please, you're hardly friendly."
"You didn't seem to mind all too much." Carmilla said with one brow raised and a knowing glint in her eye to go along with her devilish smirk. A fifth round she could do, but this, whatever this was, she couldn't do it.
Laura sighed, frowning. "Just forget I said anything."
Carmilla studied her for a moment, chewing on the inside of her lip, feeling the skin break and the all too familiar taste of blood flirt with her taste buds. She barely felt the prick of her fangs threatening to unsheathe.
She had been disappointing Laura a lot lately, pissing her off even, which she didn't mind, because an angry Laura meant for a good fuck. But she needed to start giving her more than just sex if she wanted her to stay, if she wanted her to still be willing in two months when it was time for the sacrifice.
She dropped her pants and climbed back onto the bed. "I'm going to regret this, but fine."
Laura squealed before practically hurling herself into the taller girl's arms and knocking them both back onto the small mattress.
Carmilla tentatively wrapped her arms around the eager girl's waist, folding her fingers together at the small of her back. "If you tell anyone about this you won't be getting head for a week."
Laura giggled, knowing she wouldn't. She could barely go a day without having the girl's lips everywhere.
When Laura woke the next morning, Carmilla was gone, the sheets beside her cold.
XXX
Carmilla entered the house quietly. It was the middle of the night. Everyone was sound asleep, or at least she was hoping they were. All dancers plus William's deep breaths were accounted for, yet there was the sound of heels clicking back and forth down the hall. Carmilla gulped, she was home.
She knew that she was being waited on, knew that mother didn't just pace in her office in her spare time. Carmilla knew that she knew something. She let out a quick breath before walking towards the cracked door, fixing her eyes onto the glare of the light flooding out into the hallway. She hadn't seen mother in over a year, and she liked it that way.
She heard the pacing stop as she pushed the door open the rest of the way. "Mother."
"Mircalla, good to know that you do come home before the sun rises." Mother said as she eyed the much shorter girl up and down.
Carmilla stayed silent, knowing that nothing good could come from talking back. She was meant to listen, not to speak. She had to learn that early on.
"Now tell me Mircalla, do you always stay out this late or should I worry like I should have all those years ago?"
Carmilla gulped her mouth dry and her tongue rough. Still she didn't even try and give a response.
Mother watched her as she walked to her desk, sitting along the edge of it, nails tapping along the wood finish. "You remember what I told you, yes?"
Carmilla stared at her feet.
"You can answer me."
Carmilla nodded timidly, afraid to look up.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you, and I want to hear you speak. Let me hear that beautiful sultry voice of yours."
The dark haired girl looked up at her creator, the woman that she called mother. "Yes, I remember."
Mother smiled a sick crook of a smile, "Good. I would hate to put my most prized possession down."
Carmilla felt a chill run up her spine, refusing to move. If she moved she would give mother one more thing to point out to her. It would let her know that Carmilla had no control over such things humans didn't even hesitate to react to. She refused to be compared to who she used to be. She was different now; a decade alone in a cold room was enough for her to know what she should and shouldn't do in front of mother. She couldn't love, couldn't be herself, and above all couldn't speak her mind. If mother knew exactly how she thought of the girl she had been lying with just an hour before, ten years of solitary would be the least of her worries.
"You can go now." Mother broke the silence with her ice-y, careless tone.
Carmilla nodded, turning to leave.
"Oh and Mircalla?"
Carmilla froze in the door way.
"Don't make me have to look into Miss Hollis."
XXX
Laura didn't hear from Carmilla for two days.
On the third day nearing the fourth, there was a knock on her door. A quiet one, as if the person didn't believe what they were doing was the right thing. Which is why when Laura answered the door in an oversized shirt, boxers, and bunched up fuzzy socks, her hair pulled back in a messy bun and her glasses adorning her face, that Carmilla almost ran away; almost.
"Carmilla?"
Carmilla fell into Laura's arms, nearly missing her mouth with her lips. She needed comfort, and sex was her comfort. She decided on listening to Elle for once, because Carmilla was already fucked. She liked Laura that much was so stupidly obvious in her head. She needed to be fucked.
Laura's eyes widened at the mouth that felt more like a vacuum on her neck. She bit back a moan as she pushed Carmilla back to look at her. "Carm, what's wrong?"
"Just fuck me." Carmilla said her voice cracking. She didn't want to talk.
This time Laura didn't push her away when she went back in for another kiss. Instead she pulled her in closer, hoping that if she touched her soft enough that she would understand. That if she kissed her hard enough Carmilla would just know how much she meant to her. Whether either one of them wanted to admit it or not the past month that they had spent together in bed was beginning to corrode their hearts.
Laura pushed her towards the bed, tugging the hem of her shirt up until Carmilla raised her arms to discard it somewhere onto the floor. Her pants were next, as Laura pulled them down her legs, kneeling down to kiss every inch of skin that was exposed to cold air, feeling the goose bumps beneath her lips as if she was a blind woman trying to read braille.
Carmilla weaved her fingers into her hair pulling it out of its bun and tugging on it to bring her mouth closer. She didn't have time for soft caresses, she needed to be roughed up and fucked hard.
Laura knew this, and chose not to give it to her. She wouldn't do what Elle does, she would be different. She would make Carmilla want her more.
She kissed her way back up Carmilla's thighs, fingers ghosting up her hips and then her sides, making their way up to trace the cups of her bra with a fingertip. Carmilla shivered, her hands leaving Laura's hair to pull on her shoulders, pulling her up towards her mouth.
They kissed softly, soundly. It was like no kiss Carmilla had ever shared with someone that she hadn't cared immensely for.
Laura felt her cheeks getting wet, but before she could ask if Carmilla was crying, the dancer spoke against her lips, "Shut up." before pressed her lips harder into hers, no doubt creating a bruise there. Laura opened her mouth slowly, letting Carmilla's tongue meet hers halfway.
Laura wanted to go slow; she wanted to brand every touch she gave her into Carmilla's head. That when the girl went to sleep every night after, the back of her eyelids would paint a picture of how Laura worshiped her body that night, her eyes drinking every expanse of skin in like she was the last drop of water for miles.
Laura kissed back down her body, whispering silent pleas into her skin in hopes that she would feel the same way.
Raking blunt nails back down her sides, Laura sucked hickies into each hipbone, thinking that if she marked her that she would remember this moment just like she had every time she looked into a mirror.
"Laura." Carmilla hissed feeling the human pause in her ministrations.
Laura stared down at Carmilla's hips, watching each love bite she gave disappear before her eyes. She let out a ragged breath, shaking her head lightly before kissing lower, forgetting the odd fading of bruises for the moment.
Laura ran a finger over Carmilla's covered slit, watching it darken and dampen beneath her touch.
Carmilla's eyes fluttered shut, biting back a moan. She refused to believe herself a molten wanton mess.
Laura slipped a hand beneath the dancer's panties, eliciting a moan from her. She smiled lightly, pressing a kiss to her pubic bone before pulling down her underwear all together, balling them up and dropping them off the side of the bed. She moved back, trailing her lips lower; tongue poking out slightly as she mouthed over her mound and placed a kiss to her swollen clit.
Carmilla let out a hiss, tangling her fingers back into caramel locks, and pulling, making Laura moan into her.
It wasn't rough, but it was needy and Laura chose not to drag it out any further than she already had. With just a few more strokes of her tongue, Carmilla left all caution to the wind, her hand barely reaching her mouth in time to muffle her moan.
Laura sat up; wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before flopping down on the mattress beside her, pulling the blanket up over Carmilla's cooling body. Placing a kiss to her shoulder, Laura leaned back, knowing that Carmilla wasn't one for closeness outside of sex.
After the vampire caught her breath, she closed her eyes, her voice shaky as she willed the tears away. This was it; she was choosing to open up to her. She wanted Laura to stay; she wanted the human to know that she cared enough to share her thoughts with her. Carmilla wanted Laura to know that she liked her for more than her body, so she told her in the only way she knew how. "It's my mother." She said quietly.
"Your mother?"
"Yes, she was away for business in Italy." Okay so technically she was telling the truth, just not giving any specifics.
Laura's brows bunched together, "Do you not get along?"
Carmilla wanted to laugh bitterly just as much as she wanted to throw up every lie mother had ever fed to her, but not nearly as much as she wanted to throw herself off of a bridge. Instead she leaned her head down on Laura's shoulder and whispered. "I guess you could say that."
Laura's eyes widened at the affection, tentatively wrapping an arm around her waist, the other stroking her hair as Carmilla buried her face in her neck.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She felt Carmilla shake her head and croak out a 'no' before beginning to purr. When she snuck out of this very room that morning, the last thing that she had expected would be that she'd wind up back there.
Laura waited a whole two minutes before breaking the silence. "So like this is weird, is this weird for you?"
Well it wasn't until she brought attention to it. Carmilla shifted, sitting up to look at her. "I thought this is what you wanted wasn't it?"
Laura sighed, she did want this, but not because Carmilla felt like she had to. She wanted more than sex with Carmilla, couldn't she see that? Or maybe she did see that and just didn't feel the same way. She could feel Carmilla's eyes on her. Picking her words carefully before speaking, "Do you think it's weird that all we ever do is have sex?"
Carmilla's eyes darkened, brow furrowing slightly. She knew where this was going to go. "That's not true, we had breakfast together once."
Laura nodded, "That was a week ago and I practically forced you to go."
Carmilla frowned, "I've been really shitty to you haven't I?"
Laura shrugged, "You haven't been particular warm if that's what you're saying, definitely closed off."
Carmilla leaned back down, spent from her earlier orgasm. Her eyes drooping shut as she allowed Laura to wrap an arm around her waist. "I'll tell you soon."
Laura stayed up late into the night, trying to figure out exactly what Carmilla had meant. What was she going to tell her?
XXX
Kirsch found her in the weight room; again.
"Working up a sweat or is the sweat working you up?" he asked when he saw her leaning back against one of the four cinderblock walls, gulping down water from a thermos.
Danny's eyes fluttered open at his voice, wiping her mouth of excess water before capping the thermos and letting it drop to her feet on the mat. "It's a little late for a round two." she said.
Kirsch smiled, looking down at his clothes. He wasn't dressed for a workout, which was exactly what wrestling Danny was. "Just came down here to ask you something."
"And what would that be?" she asked as she moved back over to one of the few punching bags that were still attached to the ceiling.
Kirsch stuffed his hands into his pockets, suddenly nervous. Staring down at his sneakers, he formulated his words. "The Silas formal is in a week, and I was wondering if you'd want to go?"
Danny swung at the bag, not bothering to look up at him. Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Well yeah, I wasn't planning on getting a pedicure for nothing."
Kirsch nodded, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling the heat creep up into his cheeks. "I meant, are you going with anyone?"
Danny froze for a minute. Was he asking her out? She shook her head before hitting the bag again, stupid, stupid, stupid. "Just with my friends." She said casually.
Kirsch stared at her back, watching the muscles beneath her tank top stretch and flex beneath the damp material. "Oh."
"Are you going?" she asked.
"Uh, yeah." He thought quickly, "I'm going with my buddy Will."
That made Danny stop what she was doing. Will? As in Will Eisen? The Black Cat Will Eisen? She shook her head, of course it was him. Kirsch worked with the guy. Maybe he was gay or bi? Either way it was none of her business.
"That's cool."
"Yeah." Kirsch said, knowing that this conversation was a flop. His attempt to asking Danny out had failed.
"Maybe I'll see you there." Danny said as she started up her punching again.
"Yeah, maybe."
XXX
Laura woke the next morning with a weight beside her; she had stayed.