Chapter 12

The day was cloudy but it was cheery. There were the sounds of children laughing and giggling as they played their games around the playground. There were vendors with ice cream and balloons. Parents were smiling… Everyone was happy.

Angela walked through the park looking around. She noted all the smiling kids and she couldn't help but smile herself. It was moments like that she took pleasure in. It was what made life worth living in between all the fighting and everything else. It was good but it was also quite empty. It was like there was something missing.

She walked through the park and was ignored by the children and parents. She looked around, searching for something. She couldn't explain why but she felt the need to find whatever it was she needed to find. It was unfamiliar and yet familiar but it did feel right. She kept going until she found what she was looking for.

The girl was little for her age but she was awfully familiar. Angela looked down at her and noted the amber orbs and dark hair. The girl was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and was wearing a flannel shirt that was a soft pink and blue. Her hair was put back with a headband that matched the coloring of her hair. She looked up at Angela with a wide-eyed expression.

Angela looked down at the little girl almost like a curious puppy. The girl looked up at her and Angela thought she detected hints of green in the eyes. It was unusual to her and had her raise her brow at the girl. The girl asked, "Why youse stare like that, Mama?"

Angela blinked at that. She was stunned into speechlessness. She was well aware that she hadn't had any kids. Well you could get into the technicalities with her raising Hibah. She looked at the little girl and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Youse stare like that when you miss Papa," came the answer.

Angela blinked again. This was totally bizarre in her mind since she knew she wasn't a mother. And what involved to create a life? Not something she was willing to talk about even if she could give a sexual joke like Dean would. Seeing that the little girl was looking worried, she replied, "It's alright. I'm just thinking a little too hard."

The little girl beamed, "Then be happy. Papa come soon."

'Just go with it,' the thought ran through her mind as Angela smiled. "That's good." She let the little girl take her by the hand insisting that she would want to see Papa.

The scenery shifted and it started turning into one of those twisted horror films that Dean liked to watch on occasion. As if the real thing wasn't bad enough. Angela looked around to see the creepy gnarly trees that made up the forest along with the sort of beaten path. There were a few trees with leaves on them and she thought she saw a couple of owls or ravens or something.

'I am definitely out of my mind here.'

Along the way, they came to more like a tent and the area around it was like a desert. Angela blinked as she looked around. The little girl looked around like there was nothing wrong as a young woman came out from the tent. She was dressed like the nomads of the desert but she had an unusual pair of hazel eyes and her head was covered with hijab.

Angela looked around as other things that were familiar but from other places started appearing. "Okay definitely overthinking it."

"Not really," the young woman said. She stepped forward and looked around. "Just merely the product of all that's in your head and getting mixed up."

"Proves I'm crazy," Angela offered.

"No." The woman looked at Angela almost like a curious puppy. She then asked, "Do you recall what last happened?"

"Great. I'm at that place between living and dying."

"No."

Angela looked at the young woman. She didn't buy that she wasn't in that place. "Please the only reason I see things like crazy are when I am close to dying or I actually kill myself."

"You are not dead or dying," the little girl said.

Angela looked down at her, surprised at the sudden articulation. She then looked up at the young woman who was looking at her. Something funny was going on and she wanted to know. "Okay so what then?"

The young woman spoke, "That is why I am asking you what you last remember."

Angela narrowed her eyes slightly as she sighed and turned to think. She looked at nothing in particular and she started to hear the roars of anger and pain. There was no screaming. Her skin tingled slightly like it was on fire. "Well…"

She remembered the renegades taking turns hitting her again. She remembered hearing a crack and the most excruciating pain shooting up her leg. She had been fighting with her limbs and growling at them. Then something stabbed her side and it burned.

'You think this is bad? I will do ten times worse the moment I get my hands on Sam Winchester.'

Angela turned the moment she heard the grunts of pain. She recognized them from previous times and took off running in the direction that it was coming from. It was automatic and she wouldn't hesitate. She ran past the trees dead and alive only pausing when she saw a sight that had her eyes widen in fear.

Dean was suspended on the rack. Blood was coming from where the hooks pierced his body and coming out of his mouth. His head was dropped to his chest. There was so much blood she couldn't tell if he was dead or alive until she heard the faintest of whispers, "Sam… Angie…."

Angela couldn't resist touching Dean and checking for a pulse. He was barely breathing but still alive. The meat hooks were another issue. She put her hands gently on Dean's head and pressed her forehead against his. "Don't quit on me Dean. Please."

"Angie… Get… Sam…"

Before she could even say anything about Dean being the big brother, a loud scream of pain echoed. She lifted her head and turned in the direction of it. She heard Dean's plea whisper again. She turned to look back at Dean. She pressed her forehead against his in a gesture that was almost like instinct. "Don't quit on me."

It came out like a whimper but was more of a command, which Dean seemed to obey and shifted slightly. Angela backed away still reluctant until another scream of pain hit her ears. It caused her to stomp her foot in agitation and she bolted feeding her desire to run to find. The desire to protect. The desire to hunt and to kill the one causing those screams.

She ran until she came to where Carter was holding the hot poker he had been brandishing at her. He was circling Sam who was suspended by chains from the ceiling. There were welts and bruises on Sam's face from being punched. His teeth were clenched from the pain he had to be feeling. Carter was holding the poker in front of Sam's face when she came in. As soon as he noticed someone else there, he looked at her and grinned, "Like it?"

It was a low and feral growl that entered her throat. She lunged forward only to be yanked back in an almost violent fashion. She looked at her person to find that she was shackled. Her wrists were rubbed red from chafing and there was dried blood on her hands. Not liking the situation, she got to her feet and tried to tug herself free while growling like a wild animal. Barely coherent words came out.

Carter looked amused at her and carelessly swung the poker. The tip hit Sam across the chest and it burned the flesh underneath earning another grunt from Sam. He chuckled when Angela pulled at her shackles and said, "How does it feel? Watching someone you care about suffer and die?"

Angela growled as she gritted her teeth. If she had to, she would bite her hand off. It was gross but she was not going to stand by and do nothing. She wouldn't let anything happen to Sam. "Sonofabitch!"

Carter smiled a bit and took a couple of steps forward. "Always trying to save people. Even when it leaves your partners to die and rot."

"I don't leave people behind."

"Really?" Carter then swung at her legs and knocked her to the ground with the poker. He put his foot against her throat to pin her down. He stared down with a look of hatred in his eyes. "You left me to die. You let Dad die."

"Calm down, Carter. Don't damage the goods."

Angela felt her eyes widen at the new voice. She grunted since her air was slightly cut off and she was using her hands to alleviate the pressure from Carter's foot. She looked and saw who it was. She recognized the shadow that she saw.

"Now I see that you recognize me. Of course you do know me since I know you and I'm still considering your offer. But now that Sam is here..." He walked over to where Sam was and grabbed a hunk of Sam's hair to pull his head up.

"Leave… him… alone… you fucking angel dick." Angela struggled under the foot.

Lucifer looked at Angela with a patronizing smile. "You know it has to happen… it will happen. And there is nothing you can do to stop it. I want you to know that."

"There is always a chance," she grunted.

"No there isn't. You see, I know what makes you tick my little pretty." Lucifer walked around Sam and eyed him like he was a good specimen. "Of course I didn't expect full on instinct to rise up but I can work with it."

"What the hell?"

"You should've figured it out by now."

Angela grunted as the image shifted and she saw herself loping towards Sam like a predator. The times in the diner when they sat together laughing over other things, the way she stood up to the demons; she saw it even though it was twisted in some way. It went back to Lucifer standing next to Sam and holding him in a fairly intimate manner and he said, "Sam will be mine one way or another, my little pretty, and there is nothing you can do to stop it."

Angela struggled under Carter's foot. She watched as Lucifer grinned that grin that made her want to rip his head off. She heard the Old Man and sharp pain wrack through her body. Then she heard Sam cry out and there was the color of blood and light…

The quiet was distorting to Angela's ears as she blearily opened her eyes. She caught a glimpse of her surroundings but didn't really see them. She heard sounds though and it sounded like screaming or grunts or something. She couldn't tell since her head was pounding. She closed her eyes to relieve the pressure since that was the only haven from the hell that she was in.

She could still hear Lucifer taunting her. She had gone to him through the dream realm and made her proposal and he said he would take it under advisement. But she knew that he was only humoring her. He would get what he wanted and it was the one thing she was willing to fight with her dying breath to keep from happening. That and there were the other things out there.

It was her fault. She made them, taught them and now they were out of control. It was coming to bite her in the ass. It was perfectly clear. They wanted to kill him and they were going to make her watch before killing her. She couldn't let them know. They couldn't know. She would rather be damned for eternity than let someone she loved suffer because she merely existed.

With the voices tormenting her and her mind warping memory with worst case scenario, Angela let out a soft moan that came out in a plaintive whimper, "Stay away Sam."

"Wakey, wakey."

The light hit full on in the face and Angela squinted and jerked her head to get it out of the light. She'd rather have cold water drenching her. She frowned and growled at the owner of the light, trying to keep her sensitive eyes shielded. "What the fuck?"

"Time to wake up," Carter's voice drawled. He shut the light off and then a split second later turned it back on and earned growls and a 'fuck you' somewhere in there. He couldn't help but laugh at that but it came out more as a hum.

Angela looked at Carter and blinked. She became aware of clinking noise above her head and looked around. "What is it this time?"

"I've just decided to try something different."

It was not adequate but Angela was going to have to accept it. She focused on the clinking and realized that her shackles where being released, at least on the other end. She also noticed that the movements were a little quick… like they were leaving or something. Perhaps she should make her move then since she would have more to work with. She would just need to keep it together long enough.

The moment her feet hit the floor when she was lowered, she realized something was wrong. She felt a sharp pain up her right leg and she couldn't get a firm foundation. It felt like when Zachariah shattered her left from the hip down. The difference was that she could move her leg but it felt like she was lifting dead weight and it was attached to her body.

"If you're thinking about escaping, I should warn you that you might have a little trouble. Something may be broken," Carter said as he put the light to the side. "So you might as well relax. You seemed to be good at that."

Angela made a rude sound as she glared up at Carter. At that moment she was hauled to her feet. Well she was actually hauled up between the other two and she felt her leg get jostled. It hurt like a bitch. She remembered now.

She had been struggling and fighting back since it was no picnic getting burned and stabbed at the same time. She couldn't use her hands so she used her feet and legs. She had a powerful kick and let them have it. Plus she was flexible enough to wriggle like a fish on a hook. She got in a few licks until her leg was grabbed and the piping came down on it hard.

She understood now how Sam felt when he got hit on his leg repeatedly. He was lucky in that he didn't suffer a broken leg but hers was. She knew that but the extent of the damage… She let her body relax a little but she could still plot a means. Actual logistics and moving was another story altogether since it was pretty obvious that her leg was not going to be of help. A small part of her wished to call for help and deep down she knew that once the Winchesters discovered her missing, they would do what they had to do to find her. Yet she knew that if they came…

Angela felt herself being dragged along the ground. She knew that because her legs were getting the brunt of it. Her left brushed against something hard on the ground and it made her want to puke especially when it hit the knee. She could move it but it felt weird, like it was where it was supposed to be but it wasn't. It had her frowning in spite of the pain and it kept her from wanting to throw up. In an ill-fitting sense of humor, she thought about how funny it was that she had worse injuries than this and had suffered through hell literally and she was sick because of the pain coming off of her legs.

It wasn't long before she found herself in a different room. Immediately the atmosphere felt different and it certainly smelled different. Her nose picked up on the dampness and the almost mildew like smell. Her skin felt the condensation prickle her skin and her eyes managed to open long enough to see that she was in a room that reminded her of being inside of a meat shed of some sort. At least the meat hooks weren't around. That would have just made the whole thing like it was out of one of those slasher films.

The next Angela knew was that she found herself being thrown on the ground. She landed with an oomph with her arms outstretched. There was certainly some relief since she wasn't strung up anymore but she was feeling the pain from the release. She grimaced slightly since she had landed on her broken and bruised ribs. She felt her lungs constrict slightly as if trying to ease the pain but it just made it a little difficult to breathe.

"Sorry about that," Carter's voice entered in a mocking tone. It was not at all apologetic. He peered down at Angela and watched as she just laid there taking in breaths. It was tempting to kick the beast when it was down but he wanted to prolong everything and he was curious about a few things. "But you know manners aren't the first thing around here."

"You never had them even when your father raised you," Angela muttered as she took controlled breaths. She was able to prop herself on her elbows. Getting to her feet was more likely not going to be an option but if she had to… "And you were never sorry for anything."

"And as I recall it didn't matter to you. All you cared about was chasing after that demon. Tell me: was it all worth it?"

Angela didn't look up. She continued to look down at the ground while breathing. Each breath hurt and she could feel the throbbing from her ribs. The cool air hit the burns that had been inflicted and it stung. Some of the burns were tugged from the ragged parts of her shirt. "I was chasing a mistake that had been made in my youth…"

"Spare the usual," Carter interrupted. "It doesn't really matter anyway. In the end you're going to pay for your sins."

"I've been paying for them for a long time. There is nothing left."

"Really?"

Angela felt the shock from the stun gun. She had once set a wendigo on fire with a cattle prod; a little electricity, flammables and boom, the thing was on fire. She had shocked herself once. This was… She gritted her teeth and grunted. "What the…"

"That was because you lied to me. I don't like being lied to."

"No… fucking… shit." Angela took a couple of heaving breaths. The point with torture is that while you expect something to happen especially if your torturer was not creative, it was often best to hit when the victim least expected it. The shock certainly was a surprise and it had her awake and able to get a better look of what was going on around her. "But you fucking lied to me."

"I only told you what you wanted to hear. You were the one that took me in and taught me more about being a hunter," Carter pointed out. He put the stun gun to the side. He came around so he was kneeling in front of Angela and peered at her. Slowly he reached out and hooked his finger under her chin. "Of course that didn't matter anyway. Like it shouldn't matter that your disappearance has stirred up a nest."

Angela perked up a little. She couldn't trust anything Carter was saying but considering that he was after the same thing the renegades wanted and the prime target was the one that started the Apocalypse by letting Lucifer out of the cage… She would listen. "I told you that they would be looking and I feel sorry for you."

Carter gave a slow smile and nodded. He managed to make a little hum in the back of his throat. "Well, let's see how you feel when the information I had fed to Sam Winchester leads him to a trap."

Angela looked up at Carter. She took any potential threat to either brother, her family, very seriously. She didn't say anything but continued to stare at Carter. If she said anything, she could give away herself. She felt her inhibitions lower because of the drugs; the hallucinations and the disturbing drug induced dreams weren't helping. She probably said things in her sleep.

Carter took in the stare. She wasn't saying anything but that didn't matter to him. All he needed to do was to let her listen. Before they woke her up they dosed her again. Let her own mind come up with the worse things. "You don't believe me do you?" He grinned when he didn't get a response and continued, "Doesn't matter really. But you should know that anything involving our goal is the truth. I think it is hard with all those drugs going through your bloodstream now huh? Oh and how is the inhibitor drug? I figured that you'd be here for a while and with the broken limbs… couldn't risk your healing kicking in and making it heal crooked now could we? Though it would be a pretty good punishment to make you a cripple."

"Armchair reverse psychology." Angela blew a slight raspberry and a slight chuckle. She knew though that the reality was that the drugs suppressing her healing was both a good and bad thing. For one it didn't allow the rapid healing since there was no one to set the broken bones. The bad thing was that she was going to be in agony until she was rescued. "You forget that I know a thing or two about it."

"True but sometimes it can be used against you."

"Been there… done that."

"And you are the one on the floor."

Angela was willing to let him have that one. She twitched her lip when she recalled mentioning to Sam about Indian fighting. His expression had wanted to make her laugh when she first told him. Still it was a good method since it was the kind of fighting that always produced interesting results. She did manage to make a slight face at Carter and tried to push herself up.

Carter watched her with a satisfied smirk on his face. He liked that she was looking so helpless. "So you want to know why you're here?"

"As in general or this room specifically?" Angela propped herself up on her elbows and looked at Carter. "Because right now I'm not really sure unless it is specifically given since you got a sort of worried look."

Carter laughed at her, "Must be the drugs because you are gravely mistaken." He stood up and looked around. "There is a reason you are here and mostly it's because I'm bored."

Angela didn't say anything but she was hauled to her feet. Her legs just dangled but she was upright, more or less. It put her at eye level with Carter as he looked at her and gently hooked her under her chin so she was looking at him. He hummed a chuckle and said, "That and I wanted to be able to see your reaction when I tell you that you were right in that they would come for you."

Sam is coming. Angela looked at Carter. There was something up with that look though and she wasn't sure if she was going to like it or not. She started getting that gut feeling that said that this wasn't going to end good if whatever Sam and Dean were planning went to hell. Granted their plans always seemed to go awry and that it was luxury that they worked out…

Carter took in her expression. He knew he had her attention. "Oh yes you were right but they are going to be sorely disappointed. Frankly I'm disappointed that they stopped to such a low level version of us but the bastard is a traitor now. Anyway, they did manage to find where you are only… not quite. Let's just say that there is a little surprise for them." He gave a sardonic grin.

Angela saw it. She didn't need it spelled out to her what was going on. She had to stop them from getting into trouble. She struggled and managed to throw a punch and made contact. She was hit back and gripped tighter.

"Yes keep doing that but unfortunately you're going to have to live with the knowledge that there is nothing you can do." Carter walked over to where a basin was a motioned his men to come.

A/N: The drugs are playing with her mind and now looks like Carter was anticipating the Winchester's next move. Keep watching for more on To Hell and Back...