Peach walls and perfection
She ignored the twinges as she left her office for her next appointment in the conference room. Stubbornly refusing to admit that the steady cramping she had been feeling since 3 AM might be more than Braxton Hicks, she proceeded to the conference room. But as the meeting progressed, she soon realized that she couldn't ignore the regular squeezing of her back and lower abdomen anymore.
Harvey was going to have a field day with this. She was the one who insisted that she wasn't anywhere near giving birth and had at least another week's worth of work left in her. Week and a half tops! She hated to admit it, but clearly their baby's first act was to prove that her mother was indeed not always right in her proclamation of always knowing everything.
Confident that the actual birth of her child was still far away, she proceeded to focus on Mr. Jones, one of their newest clients. A true gentleman at heart, meeting with him usually put a smile on her face. She always enjoyed hearing him brag about his grandchildren and how his granddaughter was going to give Harvey a run for his money as the best closer in the city once she finished law school. Unfortunately, today his stories were met with more discomfort than joy, her contractions steadily increasing as the meeting went into its second hour. Shifting slightly in what was previously a very comfortable chair, Donna tried to position herself a bit better for the upcoming twinge.
"Are you alright Mrs. Specter?" Mr. Jones asked her midway through a story about his eldest who had recently decided to take up fly fishing. The reason why Donna was the one in the meeting, and not any of the other lawyers, was that she was the one who could both listen to his stories and redirect back to business without offending the poor man. Today, however, was not the day for stories of fly fishing. She just desperately wanted to finish the meeting so that she could have a cup of tea, calm her nerves and call Harvey. Not necessarily in that order.
"Oh yes thank you Mr. Jones", she grimaced after a particularly painful twinge passed across her lower back. "I just think that my daughter has decided that she wanted to change her living arrangements sooner than I thought she might. But I'm really still fine! We can finish up here first! You were saying that your son was becoming quite the fisherman?" She gave him her best version of a relaxed and reassuring smile. Well, as relaxed as one might be at the prospect of going into labour with the child you thought you would never have at the ripe age of 'too old for this'.
"I admire your dedication to your clients Mrs. Specter, but I'm quite happy to end the meeting here -we should have done so sooner! You have convinced me that my company will be in good hands, and I look forward to dealing with you in the future. I'm sure there will be more days where I can bore you with stories of my family… But for now, I think your hands will soon be full of your own" The elderly man said with a smile and a soft wink.
With a relieved sag of her shoulders and a thank you to Mr Jones, Donna ended her meeting off with the promise that she would make sure all the paperwork was finalized by the end of the day. Slowly getting up, she walked to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea while reaching for her phone and automatically pressing the one on the speed dial. Harvey was still out for a court case, but she knew he was due back soon. Not soon enough though, she realized as his phone automatically went to voicemail. Just as she sat down with her cup of tea, Rachel entered the kitchen for her lunch.
"Hey momma! How are you feeling today? I thought for sure that your meeting with Mr. Jones was going to go on a bit longer," Rachel said with a smile; "I mean he's such a sweet man, but once he gets started it takes a lot to get him to stop talking" she said as she reached for a salad in the small fridge.
"Yeah well… I might have told him that I was in labour…so, you know, that kind of did it" Donna laughed as she rubbed her hand over her stomach.
"Wait, what?" Rachel asked with wide eyes. "Are you in labour? For real? I mean I get using it as a get out of jail free card, but I also kind of need to know if I should start freaking out or not."
"Okay, so I might be in labour…" Donna said with a glint and a hint of uncertainty in her voice. "But you can't freak out, because if you freak out, I might also start freaking out and I really need to keep my shit together until Harvey gets here." The uncertainty was soon replaced with determination.
"Donna, you know Harvey is in court today – who knows how long he might take! I really think we need to take you to the hospital."
"Rach, my contractions are still far apart; my water hasn't broken and the baby is moving around plenty. I honestly don't think that it'll change much if I go to the hospital now or in an hour's time." She nonchalantly put her cup in the sink and turned to the door. "Besides, I promised Mr. Jones that I'd have the paperwork finalized before the end of the day. I might as well finish that up quickly."
"Okay… on one condition!" Rachel said determinedly. "I'm coming to sit with you in your office and if anything changes, we're going to the hospital – no argument!" she quickly added before Donna could protest.
"Fine…" Donna said with a defeated grin. "You're going to make a great godmother you know." She said with a wink as she started walking towards her office.
After about an hour, Rachel noticed that Donna's typing had stopped more and more frequently. With a worried glance she asked Donna how she was doing.
Slowly getting up from her desk, she started pacing in her office while rubbing her back. "I'm not going to lie – this freaking hurts! But I really want to wait for Harvey. All the books say that the first time can takes extra long and that you should relax as much as possible. There's really no need to…" She stopped midsentence to bring a palm to her forehead and gave deep sigh as she looked down. "Well, shit." the last part said with a sound of frustrated defeat.
Rachel looked up to see the growing puddle around Donna's feet.
"Oh crap… Donna, your water broke!"
"Yeah, I got that thanks Rach!" Donna rolled her eyes as she moved to grab her cell phone. "Dammit Harvey, of all the times not to settle a case…". She put a hand to her face, for the first time properly starting to feel the twinges of fear and uncertainty. "I can do this Rach, I just really need Harvey there when it happens."
With a soft smile Rachel went to her friend and hugged her as tightly as the baby bump allowed. "Leave that to me. But for now, let's get you to the hospital."
Harvey glanced at his watch for what felt like the fiftieth time in the last hour. The case should have been settled hours ago, but for some reason the opposition tried to drag out as long as humanly possible.
"Objection your honour, he's clearly testifying" Mike called out next to Harvey. One of the best things about Seattle was being back in the office with Mike. But there was a reason Harvey preferred to settle. Sitting up straighter, Harvey fought the urge to look at his watch again.
"Mr. Specter, please approach the bench."
Looking at Mike, he gave a shrug and walked over to the bench.
"Mr. Specter it seems that your wife has gone into labour and was taken to the hospital. If you are happy to leave your client in the hands of Mr. Ross, I see no reason why you can't be excused from court." Judge Wilkons said.
Stunned, Harvey thanked the judge before going back to Mike and explaining to him what had happened.
"Holy shit!" Mike whispered. "You're actually going to be a dad!"
"Yeah…" Harvey grinned. "Listen Mike, can you finish up here?"
"Yes of course! Go, go, go!" Mike said with a grin. "Give Donna my love – I'll see you guys at the hospital later!"
"Thanks Mike!" Harvey was already leaving the bench and pulling out his phone as he proceeded to the doors.
"One last thing Mr. Specter" Judge Wilkons said dryly, "Please inform Ms Zane that I received her messages – all 57 of them."
Donna had just started another round of pacing when her phone rang. "Harvey! Listen, I know this is the opportune moment to say 'I told you so' about me taking maternity leave, but I honestly don't care and I really need you to get your ass to the hospital."
Harvey gave a nervous laugh before answering "Ray is stepping on it, I'm two blocks away and the phrase 'I told you so' hasn't even crossed my mind once. On the contrary, I thought I was going to get an ear full for going to court when you were so close to your due date…" His voice softened a bit as his next question. "How are you doing, Debbie?"
"Honestly, could be better, but we're hanging in there! I'm just glad Rachel managed to get the message across."
"Oh, she definitely got the message across" Harvey laughed softly as he said it. "Listen Donna, we're just pulling up to the hospital now, so I'll see you in two minutes."
"Okay, I'm in the maternity room… number whatever is the one with the ugly peach walls." Donna grimaced as she said it, feeling the start of another contraction coming on.
Harvey chuckled, "I'll see you soon, babe. I love you.", he said as he hung up.
"Don't worry about the car seat Mr. Specter, I'll make sure it's installed properly for the newest addition to the family."
Harvey looked up at Ray with appreciation. "Thank you, Ray. I appreciate that!"
"No problem, boss! Good luck and send my best to Donna and the little one!"
He found her leaning against the wall, one hand flat against the wall and the other in a fist, massaging her lower back. Automatically walking to her and taking over, Donna groaned gratefully as he kneaded her back. As soon as the contraction ended, Donna turned to Harvey.
"Labour sucks. 9 out of 10 wouldn't recommend". Harvey laughed and kissed her softly.
"How are you doing?"
"Pretty good considering." Donna started pacing again. "They had me on the monitor earlier. Everything looks good with her heart rate, and I'm definitely having adequate contractions. I was 4cm on the last check. And I love our nurse. We should hire her for the firm – she could be our resident health care provider." Donna had quickly gotten a liking in nurse Bridget. She was young, energetic and stubborn. A lot like Donna when she was younger.
Harvey saw the moment her next contraction started. Donna being Donna, refused to say anything. But the moment he saw her grimace and bite her lip, he automatically went to wrap her arms around his shoulders. Reaching behind he rubbed her lower back hard.
"Lean against me babe, I've got you both".
Groaning as her contraction peaked, Donna looked up at Harvey "You're such a sap, do you know that" she said with a glint in her eye. "But dammit do I really love you right now!"
"I always thought women cursed their husbands when they were in labour."
"Please!" Donna straightened up again as the contraction passed. "There are two things I refuse to do today" She wagged two fingers in his direction. "One, yell during childbirth. Not that there's anything wrong with it but all the books say that you can't push properly if you're yelling. True story." She said with all the seriousness in the world.
"No screaming during birth, got it. What's number two?" Harvey asked with a grin.
"Curse my husband. I for one remember being a very willing participant in the actions leading to our current situation. And my loving husband doesn't know it yet, but he's definitely going to be on diaper duty for at least the first two weeks!" Donna winked at Harvey before walking over to the bedside table and taking a sip of water. "Oh great, here comes another one…".
Harvey immediately took his cue and started rubbing her back again.
"Mike sends his love by the way. Ray as well. Speaking of…where's Rachel? I thought she'd be here for sure?" Harvey furrowed his brows as he realized that he hadn't seen the other lawyer around since arriving.
"She went on a supply run." Donna said after a while. "I asked for a juice and she insisted on getting my favourite from the deli around the corner. I told her to get lunch for herself as well since I interrupted hers with my unscheduled news bulletin." Donna grinned up at Harvey as she said it. She leaned into him a bit more as the contraction passed, almost as if they were slow dancing.
"You know, I'm really impressed by how well you're handling these contractions – even cracking jokes in between! You're making the whole of Hollywood look like a joke." Harvey kissed her on the forehead as they started swaying on the spot.
"Jip, that's my goal. The nurses said that I should enjoy the peace while I could, because it was bound to get a lot worse. But I can take it. I'm awesome like that."
Three hours later Donna had reconsidered everything she said earlier. She wasn't awesome. Hollywood didn't lie. Labour was the worst.
"Donna, are you sure you don't want anything for the pain? This can't be easy on you!" Rachel looked at Harvey with pleading eyes. "Do something!", she whispered in his direction.
Rolling his eyes and giving a defeated sigh, Harvey approached Donna as she was bending down low across the bed. "Donna, I know you said no drugs, but don't you want to reconsider?" His brows furrowed worriedly as he saw the exhausted look on Donna's face.
"No drugs, Harvey. I've made up my mind." Her eyes were closed as she said it, relieved that what felt like the millionth contraction had passed. But there was no mistaking the fire behind her response. She moved to sit across the bed in an attempt to rest her aching legs.
"I just hate seeing you like this… and there's nothing I can do to help you." Donna leaned against Harvey as he stood next to the bed. Tiredly, still with her eyes closed, she just hummed in response. After a short pause she took a deep breath through her nose. Releasing it she opened her eyes with that determined and fierce look they had all come to recognize.
"The fact that I got pregnant at all in itself is already a miracle Harvey. I mean, I'm definitely nowhere near the field of safe childbearing age! And we have come such a long way during it all… I can't risk anything going wrong. I can't risk not giving our baby the best possible chance that she could have at life." She looked at him with tears glinting in her eyes. "I know that an epidural is safe for the most part," looking over at Rachel she gave a reassuring smile, "but I can take it." It was an ongoing theme throughout the pregnancy. Donna initially didn't want to take part in any activities that could even slightly influence the growth and health of their baby. She was convinced that something would go wrong eventually, and she did everything in her power to prevent what she could.
"You are going to be the most amazing mom, you know?" Rachel repeated the sentiment that Donna had told her hours before. "I'm so proud of you!"
"Thank you, Rach." Donna looked up at Harvey. "But I do think it's only fair that we bump up the duration of diaper duty to a month."
Two hours later and Donna wasn't so sure that she could handle it anymore. The little bit of relief she had gotten in between contractions earlier had all but disappeared completely, with her barely getting time to catch her breath before the next contraction started. Harvey tried without fail to rub her lower back, but this too had stopped working to relieve the constant tightness she was feeling across her back and abdomen. She was at 8cm on her last check less than 20 minutes prior, with the baby's head still high up on the examination. But to Donna it felt like it was hours ago. The nurse left her with the promise to be back soon and with the request that she not start pushing yet, no matter how hard she had the urge.
Although at that point in time, the need to push was fast overriding any logic in Donna's mind.
"Harvey, get Bridget. I need to push. I can't do this anymore…" Donna was past the point of pretending. She was exhausted and all of the bravado and determination she had a few hours ago was quickly starting to seep out of her. Harvey held her trembling body close to his as he kissed her temple.
"Hey…hey. You have been absolutely amazing. And I know you're exhausted… but we're in the home stretch. I'm going to hold you up, and we're going to breath through the next few minutes and then we'll take it from there, okay?"
"I'm just so tired, Harvey…" her brows furrowed again. "I just want to hold her. The longer this takes the more I'm worried about everything that could go wrong."
"You heard Bridget, Don. You're progressing amazingly." Harvey soothed her as best he could.
"But the baby's head is still high! What if I can't do this? What if I can't give birth? What if…"
Harvey took her face in his hands and rested his forehead against hers. "You can do this. WE can do this. And whatever happens…we will face it head on."
Looking at him with fresh tears in her eyes, Donna slowly nodded her head. "Okay… okay. Help me up. I need to walk again a bit."
"I don't know who she gets it from, but clearly your daughter is determined to be born as quickly as possible." Bridget joked as she sat at the foot of the bed. It was barely 30 minutes ago that Donna had started pacing again. It didn't take her long to realize that the urge to bear down wasn't just from the baby pressing on her pelvic floor as before, but because the baby was actually ready to be born and was already sitting at the level of her perineum. Harvey nearly fainted when she told him that she was about to give birth standing if he didn't help her to the bed soon.
"Oh, she's definitely a Specter," Donna tried to joke as she fell back down against Harvey after the contraction passed.
"No… this is all you, babe." Harvey kissed Donna's temple again. "I know I've said this a hundred times today, but you are just so amazing, and strong, and wonderful…". Steeling himself for the clenching of her fingers against his forearm with the onslaught of the next contraction, "…and I love you so much."
"Okay, Donna, you're doing wonderfully. Just keep on pushing like that and you'll have your daughter with you in no time!"
Collapsing against Harvey again, Donna panted, "I'm… Harv… I'm so tired…"
"One more Donna, just one more. I know you have it in you!" Harvey pleaded in her ear as he held her against his chest. Nodding her head, eyes still closed, Donna lifted against him and pushed with everything she had left in her. She didn't think about the women screaming in the movies. She didn't think about how she must look to an outsider – hair messy, covered in sweat and half naked with a stranger sitting between her legs. She certainly didn't think about the ugly peach walls that have been plaguing her the whole day. All she could think of was how strange it felt when she felt her child leave her body. It wasn't as painful as she thought, but it brought a contrasting feeling of both achievement and emptiness all at once – emptiness for the loss of that close connection only a mother and her baby could experience.
But as their daughter took her first breath and cried out for the first time, she realized that the emptiness was only fleeting. How could she ever feel empty when she was overwhelmed with so much love?
Bridget placed the crying baby on Donna's abdomen and covered her with a dry cloth. "Congratulations Donna, you have beautiful baby girl!" Bridget grinned as she applied the umbilical cord clamp. Allowing Harvey to lean across and cut the cord, Bridget turned back to her instruments and reached for a syringe. "Donna, you're just going to feel a small pinch in your leg. I'm just giving you a shot of oxytocin to help deliver the placenta."
Donna couldn't care less what she was injected with then. All the preparation, the day of determination, hope, fear and pain had brought them to this moment. And she never wanted let go of the squirming baby she now held close to her heart. "Harvey… look what we made…"
Harvey just stared back, a feeling gripping him that he never thought he'd experience for himself. Giving Donna another lingering kiss on her temple, they looked down at their daughter together. Her face was scrunched and squished, her skin covered in vernix, the whitish material all babies were born with, and her head was covered with fine, reddish hair. She definitely looked like a little red-haired alien baby at that time. But to her parents, she was absolutely beautiful. "Look what we made…"
Not long after, another nurse took the baby for the mandatory monitoring and measurements. Feeling like he was torn in two, Harvey gave Donna a panicked look. Softly chuckling to herself, Donna pushed on his arm lightly. "it's okay Harv, you can go with her. I'm not going anywhere."
Getting up from the bed where he was sitting, Harvey leaned down and gave Donna a lingering kiss. "I'm so fucking proud of you, you know that!" He stood with a wink and quickly followed the nurse.
"You guys are so adorable it's actually giving me heartburn. I love it and hate it all at once." Donna laughed at the comment as she looked back at Bridget. "We've been through enough… trust me on that. Your heartburn is least of my concern"
"Oh, I believe that. I mean I've been doing this for a while… you guys are right up there when it comes to supporting and loving partners." Bridget gave Donna's belly a rub as she felt for the contracted uterus. "Okay, last part. I just need to get the placenta out. It might feel a bit weird, almost like a watered-down birth, but bear with me. Just give me a few pushes when you feel contractions, or give a nice big cough". Within minutes, Donna felt the odd sensation that marked the final stages of labour as the placenta also slipped out of her. Bridget cleaned her up, and after stating proudly that Donna didn't have any tears to her perineum, she removed the soiled linen and replaced it with crisp, clean ones. Silently promising herself that she would never ever stop doing yoga, Donna finally allowed herself to relax against her pillows.
"I'll get the lactating specialist to come see you – breastfeeding can be hard the first few times and I know it can be a point of concern for new mothers." With a hint of seriousness, she gave Donna one last look. "And Donna, I'm going to need you to keep a close eye on your bleeding, okay? I'll come and check in on you guys, but just give me shout if you bleed excessively or if you don't feel well. I don't think we need to worry – your uterus is nice and contracted and there was minimal bleeding. But best be safe, okay?"
Seeing Harvey in the doorway with a now wrapped baby in his eyes, Donna smiled and turned her head back to Bridget again, "I will. And thank you Bridget, for everything." Giving a smile back, Bridget gave a small nod and left the new parents alone.
"How's our little trooper?" Donna asked softly as Harvey laid the baby in her waiting arms. "A whole 7 pounds, 19.6 inches of perfection." Donna smiled at Harvey's comment. "She is perfect, isn't she?" Admiring the woman in front of him, the one who had held his heart for the longest time and now held his entire world in front him, he couldn't help it. "You both are."
Rolling her eyes at his comment, Donna held out her hand to him and pulled him next to her on the bed. "You know, it's the weirdest thing. Thirty minutes ago I was so exhausted I didn't think I was ever going to be able to move again. Now I feel like I can take on the whole world!" Harvey chuckled. "Probably because you just had the biggest win of your life, and the mixtures of endorphins and adrenaline is running rampage in your body."
Rubbing her hand up and down her baby's soft skin as she tried to get her to latch for feeding, Donna just hummed in agreement. "We should let everyone know that she's here." After a few episodes of trial and error, the baby finally managed to latch properly, giving a few vigorous sucks before falling into a more coordinated pattern. Donna gave a relieved sigh. At least breastfeeding seemed to come easily enough.
"Rachel is already on it. I found her and Mike lurking by the maternity ward after the birth." Harvey grinned as he thought of the interaction. "Turns out they were both too anxious to sit and wait at home and they've actually been here most of the time."
Donna looked up at Harvey incredulously. "I don't even know why I'm surprised. Although, ten bucks says they're waiting to find out what her name is so they can settle the office betting pool." Harvey laughed at that. Their friends have probably already made a fortune in bets alone on his and Donna's love life. He put a hand on the baby's head, feeling the soft red hair underneath, "They can wait a few minutes longer…"
Fin