Author's Note: I know it's been a while, but here I am back to finish this monstrosity. Just remember this story was started and is set BEFORE Thor The Dark World.

And of course, this is when the front door opens and Bruce enters calmly. He glances around at the utter chaos of the room, then casually says, "I just thought you all might wish to know Loki is outside with a burning eyeball on a stick."

Shady Happenings

Or

The Lollipop of Doom

Everybody rushes to the window to look outside (though only a handful can actually see out as there are far too many people in my tiny apartment for everyone to get a view — I really need to move!

I push my way forward, and stare out to the patio.

Sure enough, there is Loki holding what appears to be a lollipop stick with a flaming eyeball instead of a lollipop attached to the top.

Well, now I've seen everything.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," Loki says, looking awfully confident, and I'm pretty sure he has no idea how stupid he looks with his Sauron Lollipop of Doom.

"That's Sauron?" Sam asks, blinking.

Frodo just stares, mouth agape.

"Can we douse it in a mug of ale?" Pippin asks.

"Good idea, Pip," Merry agrees, "except you have to get it away from him." He gestures at Loki, who is looking quite impressive with his antlers and flowing robes and cape.

"Reindeer Games really needs a new outfit," Tony remarks.

"Bet he still packs a big punch, though," Steve adds.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him," Clint adds, grinding his teeth, but I notice Natasha has a tight grip on his arm. No way is she letting him near the Wacko from Asgard again.

"So, this is the pathetic god who caused so much grief in New York?"

I glance over at Námo, who once again has shown up uninvited. At least he's clothed.

"Apparently, though you do realize none of that actually happened, right?"

He turns to look at me with a raised brow. "And you realize none of this is happening, right?"

"Doesn't make it any less real, though," I mumble.

Loki's voice overrides my denial of reality. "Is there none but cowards inside the author's chambers? Open the door and come out and face me!"

I shouldn't be surprised that it's Gimli that shoves his way to the door with Legolas hot on his heels, bow in hand, strung and arrow nocked. Leave it to the dwarf to get riled by being called a coward, and to be the one to take immediate action. Doesn't always end well, but it's admirable.

As soon as Gimli opens the door, Legolas looses the arrow and it flies true…right through Loki, who laughs and fades, his image nothing but a mirage trick. The last thing to disappear is the Flaming Lollipop Eyeball of Doom.

Only his voice lingers, taunting us from whatever dimension to which he's slipped away.

"To the Center of the earth, to reclaim the land of shade, Find us if you can, in the place it was unmade."

"Oh goody!" Sheldon exclaims. "A riddle!"

"Oh no," I moan, having forgotten Sheldon was here. "He cannot stay! One narcissist genius is enough!"

"Thanks," Tony says dryly, leaning against the wall and giving me a dirty look.

"Oh, don't make me leave," Sheldon whines. "I can help! I know all about Middle-earth!" He bounces on the balls of his feet and looks like a begging puppy. Yeah, cuz that would be useful in Middle-earth.

"Who is this person?" Natasha asks, a confused frown turning down her pretty brows as she looks over the unimpressive theoretical physicist.

"I am Doctor Sheldon Cooper…"

"And you are not going to be part of this story!" I interrupt, snapping my fingers and somehow managing to send him back to Pasadena, California where he belongs with his geeky friends.

The last thing we need to add to this chaos is the cast of The Big Bang Theory!

"Awww," Pippin chimes in. "I kinda liked him."

"No," I reiterate, having a hard enough time remembering who all is here. "If he stays, then the others will show up at some point, and… No," I repeat.

"You do know they will probably show up anyway?" Clint has to mention.

"Great." Just what I need. More insanity in this insane world of mine! What's next? The cast of Once Upon A Time?

Oh dear… I did NOT just think that!

Námo grins.

"What did Loki mean by that riddle?" Steve asks, finally sounding something like himself. He's still casting wary glances towards the bathroom, but Elrond was wise enough to pull the Valley Girl Vala inside and shut the door.

"I am uncertain," Thor says. "But Loki wants us to find him. He desires an audience to his mischief."

"Mischief?" Natasha asks, astounded. "Is that what they call it on your planet?"

"Well, yes," Thor says, looking embarrassed.

"Doesn't matter what it's called," Tony interjects. "We need to figure out what Loki meant if we are to find him and stop him."

"To the Center of the earth," Bruce says, pausing as he ponders the words. "Considering our present company," he continues in his soft drawl, "and the fact he had Sauron, albeit in a diminished form, I would say Center of the earth refers to Middle-earth."

"Like I said," Sheldon interrupts, having somehow found his way back to my insanity. "I know a lot about Middle-earth and I can be useful on this quest!"

There is complete silence as everyone in the room, from Hobbit, to elf, to mortal turns to look at the physicist.

"You'll have to go outside to go on a quest," Clint offers.

"Oh." Sheldon thinks about that a minute. "Well, never mind then!" He sticks his tongue out at Clint. "Just had to spoil it for me, didn't you, Hawkeye? Just like you spoiled the Avengers by getting brainwashed…"

Natasha starts towards Sheldon, and the look on her face is quite frightening.

And poof! Sheldon is gone again. This time I hope for good.

We return to our ponderings about Loki taking Sauron the Lollipop of Doom to Middle-earth when Boromir shouts, "He means to remake the Ring!"

When we all just stare at him, he repeats the riddle.

"To the Center of the earth, to reclaim the land of shade, Find us if you can, in the place it was unmade…

"Center of the earth is Middle-earth," he explains. "Reclaim the land of shade means the Land of Shadow — MORDOR!"

"I should have seen that," Sam says, frowning that he didn't figure it out.

Frodo turns pale.

"And he wants us to follow him there," Clint continues.

"To Mount Doom," adds Tony.

"I'm not going back," Frodo whispers.

"Because he's going to remake the One Ring!" Boromir insists again.

We all freeze as the implications dawn on us.

Then Clint's voice breaks the silence. "Is that even possible? I mean, the Ring was destroyed, even if Sauron wasn't. Right? Wouldn't it be impossible to recover the melted gold in its entirety and reform the Ring?"

"No," a deep voice says, and Gandalf steps from the shadows. "It would not. Not if Sauron had someone of Loki's skill and determination."

I should have known we couldn't have an Avengers/Fellowship crossover without Gandalf along.

To Be Continued….