Mettle
Eileen could hardly believe the day was here. Standing among all the parents, students, and non-school age children that filled the platform, she found herself blinking away several surprise tears. Severus stood in front of her; he'd grown so much since turning eleven. Right now, he was made of spindly legs and arms, a giraffe-neck, his nose - Tobias's, really - looked too big for his thin face and the faint shadows below his lightless eyes made him look spectral. However, despite the awkward phase her son seemed to have found himself in, Eileen knew he was going to be absolutely dashing someday.
He'd never be anywhere near traditional handsome, but his strong features and the sharp contrast between his pale skin, black hair and eyes would always be a striking thing to look at and Eileen knew someday, a girl with a love for contrasts and distinctive faces would fall for him. They would see a different sort of beauty about her son and love everything that lay beneath it even more.
Finally tiring of their silence, Severus reached out and brushed a hand over Eileen's face. "Come on, Mum, if you cry, I'm going to as well," he told her with a forced chuckle.
Wrapping her arms around Severus, she began to sway side to side with him against her and kissed his head. "I'm going to miss you, so, so much Severus!" she said without embarrassment.
His hands gripping her robe, he whispered, "I'm going to miss you just as much, Mum."
"Keep your head down on your way to the train, alright? We don't want you to see things and have you miss the train as result," Eileen told him as she let go of Severus.
Nodding, Severus sent a short, searching look around her. "I will, we just have to wait for the Quirrells or Selwyns to come this way and they'll help me onto the train," he said.
Eileen bit her lip and held back the urge to pet his face once more. She wished she and her mother weren't in the middle of a row. It wasn't right that she was missing her grandson's departure to Hogwarts.
"Tell Granny I love her, okay, Mum?" her son asked, seemingly thinking along the same lines as Eileen.
Nodding, Eileen took his hand and squeezed it. "I will," she promised. But, then, her brows furrowed and she corrected herself, "Or, I'll try, I suppose. You know she's terribly furious with me for taking a job at the Malfoy's Apothecary I don't know if she'll even look at me when I return home."
"I don't get why she's upset, haven't you been telling her for the past year you want to work?" Severus said in a questioning tone.
Eileen sighed and let her shoulders fall ever so slightly. "I have," she replied. "But your grandmother doesn't think it's appropriate for a mother to be working. I thought with you going off to Hogwarts she'd see it wouldn't do any harm and I can always take time off and cut back hours when you're home…"
"She's being crotchety, isn't she?" Severus said with the faintest of smirks.
Eileen barked a laugh. "That's one way of putting it!"
"Severus!" a boyish voice hollered over the steady din of the platform.
They both looked behind Eileen to see Quirinus running toward them full-speed with his trunk clunking behind him. Coming to a stop just an inch or so from Severus face, the towheaded boy gave a grin and enthused, "It's really busy here, isn't it?"
"Indeed," Severus said as he took a careful step back to re-establish his personal space.
Not at all bothered, Quincy's boy gave Severus a slow smile and asked, "D'you want to see the owl I got for school? It's back with Mum and Dad. They said I should go looking for you because Denise is throwing a tantrum."
"What did you end up naming it?" Eileen's son asked as he started walking with Quirinus toward wherever Quincy, Dotty, and Denise were.
Trailing after the boys, Eileen only listened with half an ear as the blond told Severus the name; it sound Egyptian to her ears. As they moved onto more childish things, like houses and what they'd buy from the trolley on the way there, Eileen began to take in the people around her with true interest.
Some looked at her. The majority were more involved with their own children. Frowning, Eileen was reminded that she had yet to see any of the Selwyns. Where was Clodagh? Her children? Her son, Padriac, still had one more year of school and Eileen knew very well that little Katrina was keen on saying goodbye to Quirinus and Severus. After all, today was her last day to speak with them in person. Once the boys were gone with the train the only way she would be able to talk to them would be through letters until Christmas rolled around.
Eileen wondered if she could convince Clodagh to send her daughter to the Prince manor for potions lessons once or twice a week. She just couldn't come around to the idea of Katrina spending all her days alone with her mother. Clodagh might be better company since Thomas died and was taken down a peg, but she still followed pureblood ideals religiously.
It was yet to be seen if she'd stop Padriac from joining the Dark Lord's circle. Even if Severus had not foreseen his death, it did not mean that being a part of the vile man's cause would help him any in life. Given what it had done to his father, one would think he and his mother were more than aware of the ruin it could bring to them.
As they strolled toward the back of the station, Eileen saw from the corner of her eye someone come into step with her. A flash of blond, almost white, hair told her exactly who was walking beside her. It was Abraxas Malfoy. Raising her chin higher, Eileen did not turn her head as she inquired, "What is it, Abraxas?"
"Just thought I'd say 'hello' before I left. Lucius is seventeen this year, he was more than eager rush our goodbyes so he could join his friends on the Express."
Turning her head to meet his stone-grey eyes, Eileen let her lips curve in a closed-mouth smile. "The joys of a teenager, I suppose," she offered.
He gave a dip of his head and his eyes went to the back of Severus and Quirinus's heads.
"It seems to me Lucius was your boy's age just yesterday. Do you know he was actually quite worried? He didn't feel ready. He was sure he'd do terrible in all his subjects," Abraxas told Eileen. "Of course, that was ridiculous. I'd bought the very best tutors and even taught him myself.
"I told him he was being irrational and he'd see soon enough that he'd be one of the best. Lucius doubted me fully. But after about a month of school he wrote me to tell me how he'd gotten three Os on his assignments and an E on his Charms test. Since then, he's been almost too full of himself. Sometimes, I fear what he'll do when someone more knowledgeable comes along and knocks him from his high perch."
Studying the man, Eileen asked, "Are you talking about Severus?"
"Maybe," Abraxas acknowledged with a shrug. "You must admit, Eileen, you Princes are well-known for your intelligence and you made quite a name for yourself amongst us Slytherin for failing to have tact-"
"You all were idiots in school," Eileen said as she turned her head away to hide the pink rising on her cheeks.
Undeterred, the blond man continued on, "Or so we seemed to a prodigy like you. What of Severus, my good lady?"
Eileen paused and considered her answer before carefully voicing her opinion on her son. "Severus is just as intelligent - if not more so, but he is quite shy. That blond child beside him, Quirinus, is his best mate and will likely stick with him and take lead in their interactions with other students. I can't say if Severus will speak up when he hears someone say something dunderheaded or that he will show the tactlessness you are talking about, but I don't think he'll hurt your son's precious pride either."
Giving an appeased laugh, Abraxas's said, "That's a shame, I was hoping someone would knock my boy down before he leaves school." The man smirked. "But, that's quite alright too, he'll just have to be showed up by someone twice his age rather than half. I will see you next week at the apothecary, yes?"
Blinking, Eileen could only nod as she tried to understand.
"Good day, see you soon, Eileen!" and with that, the man was gone.
Alone, Eileen looked forward and smiled when she saw Quincy holding his daughter beside Dotty. "Hullo," she greeted softly.
Dotty smiled back. "I saw the bloke you were talking to, he looked handsome," she commented.
"Ah…" Eileen muttered sharing a look with Quincy.
They both knew Abraxas quite well and he was far from what either of them would consider a good partner. But, of course, Dotty didn't know this. Letting a laugh escape her lips, Eileen waved the comment off by informing Dotty, "He will be my employer, I don't think it would be appropriate – no matter how handsome he may be."
"Shame." Dotty sighed as she took back her teary-eyed daughter from Quincy when the baby reached for her.
They made small talk for a few minutes as the boys continued to chatter, Quirinus looking everywhere and at everything as Severus kept his eyes very carefully on his feet, the towheaded boy, and the cage where Quincy's boy's barn owl resided.
It was painful to know Severus couldn't look at the activity around them. But Eileen soothed herself with the thought that someday, when that vile Dark Lord was gone and her son grown, he could come here with his own child and see the platform and its activity then and live vicariously through his son or daughter. It was a nice thought. A good one.
It was another reason among a thousand and one more as to why she had to stop the lord.
"Severus! Quirinus!"
All of them looked to see Katrina beside her mother and brother as the trio walked toward them.
The boys, who were not nearly as well controlled as Clodagh's daughter, ran toward Katrina.
When Severus and Quirinus reached the girl, they hugged her and then proceeded to walk back with the younger child to the rest of the group.
"Morning, Clodagh." Quincy smiled at the woman.
Face stern, the rude woman nodded at the man and turned then turned her gaze on Eileen. Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Eileen politely welcomed her, "Nice to see you again, Clodagh, Padriac, and Katrina."
"Hello, Miss Prince," Padriac offered distractedly. His eyes were on the train and she didn't blame him. His friends were likely already aboard and here was, having to make nice with his mother's acquaintances and their children.
Katrina grinned widely and chirped, "Morning, Miss Prince."
"You can let poor Padriac leave if he wants," Eileen told Clodagh.
The older woman raised her nose in the air and declared, "I will decide when my son may say goodbye, not you."
Eileen held back a groan. Clodagh's animosity was still there even after months of working together to figure out ways to assassinate the man that let her husband die. Some days, Eileen felt Clodagh would always begrudge her.
A loud whistle echoed through the station and Quincy put his hands on the boys' shoulders. "Oh! Hear that, lads? You two better hurry for the train if you don't want to miss it!" he exclaimed.
"Okay, Dad," Quirinus nodded. Turning to his mother, he reached up and accepted her one-armed hug and kissed his baby sister's cheek. "See you at Christmas, Denise!"
"Quir," the baby babbled, making a grabbing motion for her brother.
Severus stepped over to Eileen and pressed one last kiss to her cheek. "I will write you before I go to bed tonight, okay?" he whispered anxiously.
"Alright." Eileen smiled as she brushed one hand down her son's back.
The boys then exchanged their last words with Katrina.
"Don't miss us too much!" Quirinus laughed as he gave one of her pigtails a tug.
Jerking away from Quincy's boy, the girl scowled and sent a hopeful look to Severus. Just as the younger child wanted, Severus was kinder in his goodbyes as he took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'll write you all the time, I promise."
"Thanks, Severus," she replied. Then with a look toward Quirinus, she told her son scathingly, "If he gets eaten by any curious beasts, do make sure you tell me."
"Katrina!" Clodagh admonished with distaste.
The girl, shrinking muttered a quick apology, "Sorry, Mother, Quirinus."
Accepting this with a mild huff, Clodagh told her son, "Make sure the boys find a compartment alright, Padriac."
"Moth-"
She narrowed her eyes at Padriac and repeated herself, "Help them find a compartment."
Sighing loudly, the well-built youth jerked his head toward the train and said to Severus and Quirinus, "Come along."
"Bye Mum!" Severus shouted one last time as he followed after Quirinus and Padriac.
Watching them go, Eileen was relieved when she heard Dotty begin to cry behind her. It was comforting to know she wasn't the only one torn to bits watching her son leave.
-v-v-v-v-v-
Dear Mum,
I hope things aren't too bad at home without me. Your not lonely yet, are you? I really hope not because then I'd feel more terrible than I already do about leaving you all alone with granny when she's upset as she is.
The trip to Hogwarts was… interesting. Padriac did find us an empty compartment before he left us to go see his own mates. While we were settling in, a couple other boys came in. One of them was that Black-boy. You remember him, don't you? He falls into the veil. He recognized me and the other one, I made sure not to look at him, but his name was James Potter and he sounded like a right tosser (sorry for the language, Mum!). Black got mad when I wouldn't talk to them, but Quirinus told them to knock it off because I wasn't feeling well.
They made fun of me, of course, but I took out my wand and cast a stinging hex on them. I think the Potter-boy might have attacked me if Quirinus hadn't told him to sit down and shut up.
The rest of the trip was very quiet.
If you're curious, the Black-boy, Sirius, ended up in Gryffindor and so did Potter. You should have seen how quiet the hall got when the hat yelled Gryffindor during Black's sorting, though! I suppose one has never gone there, right? I can't imagine why else it would be so silent.
Thankfully, we didn't have to sit with them on the boat ride to Hogwarts and we sat with a girl who introduced herself as Aurora Sinistra (who's in Slytherin now) and another boy, Peter Pettigrew (who ended up in Gryffindor, strangely enough). I didn't like the feel of him, I must say. He was very skittish and kept making the boat tip this way and that. Aurora didn't mind that I wouldn't look at anyone besides Quirinus, though. I think she was more interested in looking at Hogwarts. I took a peak at it too and it really did look wicked!
As for the rest of sorting, it went okay. The hat offered some interesting advice about my visions too! He said that I should look into Occlumency and Legilimency. He says it's helped other seers to discipline their minds. After we finished talking about that, he told me I'd fit nicely among the Slytherins. I told him that was good and to put me there because I thought you'd be proud if I went to your old house. And you are, right?
As for Quirinus, he's in Ravenclaw. But after the Feast, he found me in the corridor outside the Great Hall and swore it wouldn't change a thing because we were best mates way before Hogwarts. I really hope he's right, Mum. I don't know what I'm going to do if he's not my best mate.
My roommates are alright so far from what I can tell. I'm sharing with a boy named Evan Rosier, Rufus Flint, Lennon MacDougal and Tim Avery. Did you know any of their parents, Mum?
Anyway, I better wrap things up, I have Herbology tomorrow morning and I want to make sure I don't fall asleep in it!
Love,
Severus
Eileen read and re-read the letter several times over before setting it aside to cry. She was just so - emotional! She was so happy, so worried, so excited and afraid and angry and-and everything. It was hard to decide how to feel about her son after his letter.
He'd already faced adversity admirably and would be facing house tensions soon if he wanted to continue his friendship with Quirinus. Yes, the Ravenclaws weren't too picky about their housemates befriending others, but Slytherin was. They prized house solidarity just as highly if not even more so than the Gryffindors.
She heard footsteps from behind her and whipped her head back to see her mother.
"Hello, Mother," Eileen greeted coolly.
Old face slack, she asked, "Did you get a letter from Severus?"
"I did," Eileen answered stiffly. "He's a Slytherin, if you must know."
"Good," Eileen's mother murmured. "Good."
Letting them lapse into silence Eileen let her gaze fall to the tabletop of her desk and waited.
"You could have gotten a job at any apothecary, why the Malfoy's?" her mother questioned.
Eileen gave a stiff shrug and replied, "They promise to pay me well."
"Oh don't play with me, girl," her mother scolded. "Money's the least of your problems!"
Meeting the old woman's stare with a fierce glare, she snapped, "Because they have connections with the Dark Lord! Not broken ones as Clodagh has, but ones that are growing as we speak!"
"Do you really think he's going to tell you about what he and his little group do?" Eileen's mother demanded.
She shook her head and picked up Severus's letter. "No," she answered. "But, I suspect I can infiltrate it if I so choose."
"You can't!" Eileen's mother cried.
Tucking the letter away into her nightie, Eileen demanded, "Why not? Who does it hurt? It will make it easier to assassinate him, I think, if I can do it myself and as an inside job."
The older woman came to clutch Eileen's shoulders. "What if you die? What if he kills you? Eileen, what will he do to Severus if he catches you in the act of trying to murder him?"
Standing up, she snarled, "I'm not a dunderhead! I already have plans for all of the way things can go wrong!"
Her aged eyes watery and mouth parted, her mother took her face in her weathered hands. "I lost you once, and I can't do it again," she whispered.
Averting her eyes, Eileen declared, "Mother, this isn't about you - or even me, anymore. This is about Severus and making sure he does not end up dead at the hands of that vile man."
Her mother began to weep bitter tears and as Eileen had done many, many times before for her son, she brought her mother close and did her best to sooth her as she cried.
It was then, Eileen realized in a belated, funny sort of way that she being a mother to her mother. Maybe she'd had the stuffs for motherhood all along, or maybe the past eleven years had taught her. No matter which it was, Eileen was surprised to find she did have the mettle for this – and for everything that was going to come.
And this is the end of Mettle! How do you guys feel about it? I know there's so much left that's not known, but...that's okay. This story's about the evolution of Eileen. About her growing up, stronger and capable. She's at a point in her life where she can do what's she about to do and maybe, if she's ever so lucky, she will succeed in accomplishing her goal of killing Voldemort.
At this time, I have two one-shot sequels you can read set in the Long Live the Prince 'verse. They're called, Ill-Made Decisions, which is set during Severus's first year and told from his perspective. Then there's The Prince's Guard, which is a sequel set far in the future that is told from a Snape-Prince descendant's perspective.
I also have a multi-chap sequel called A Carol for the Fearless that is being written and posted as we speak that you can read.
Thank you so, so much for reading, favoriting, following and reviewing.
The Dark One Rising, KodeV, Syl, 2sidedstoryteller29995, Esrath, Suzululu4moe, Dixie.f.9., Spidey Legend, AUehara, Saint Snape, 1, Professor Radar, Emma C.C.S, 013bela, SarahAB, Kazetoame, HP the third, Biancaruth, ChatterChick, NightmarePrince, Nouvel Oblique, Jemennuie, Alyssialui, Lamia of the Dark, nymphxdora, NeonDomino, Chocolatecheesecake, NovaArbella, Maeve-Juniper, KeepsAwayTheNargles, J.F.C. Elizabeth Blossom, OnyxFeather, ArtOholic, Whitetiger91, Theresnomeaning, JadedEphinany, Marie E. Brooke, Tarnished Libris, QueenRayne and HallowRain8587, you guys were all wonderful and thank you all so much for the awesome reviews!
Now that we're done with this fic, why not go read some of my others?
I'm quite proud of these fics if you need some help:
Don't Let me Go - "Throughout the years, many students of Hogwarts have asked to stay for the summer."
Dimmer Love - "Their love was hard to describe; Scorpius felt it was the inspiring kind-the type full of stolen moments and forbidden affections that made one want to write an Ode or Ghazal. Ted thought their romance was a steadier sort of love, the kind that would always be there like the sunrise or the moon hanging in their nighttime sky. They were both wrong and right in the end."
EDITED: 4/17/16