Umstand

Hola! I'm really glad many people liked the story thus far! I had a lot of requests to continue, therefore I'm sitting here! I personally really have a connection with this story because I'm basing it off of how my current relationship of 2 (almost 3) years began. I hope that makes the story feel more real for you guys! If you have any suggestions, questions, or comments just let me know!

Side note: This is based off of my own personal experiences, therefore mostly everything in this story has happened to me or affected me in some way. Therefore, if under any circumstances you are depressed and can be triggered by deep emotions or the reminiscing of the act. PLEASE Read with Caution! I don't want anyone else to hurt themselves.

P.S I love encouragement, so if you could get some friends who love Germany as well to read this and leave a comment. I MIGHT write the next chapter faster!

P.P.S

I realized while writing this that even though this is based off of personal experiences, this also goes towards my point that no one is "perfect". BUT someone can be perfect for you! Anyways, I've poured a lot of myself and my heart into this story so I really hope you like it!

Food for thought!

Chapter 2- It continues with an unfortunate circumstance

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

"DAMNIT WHAT THE HELL?!" You shouted as your alarm clock angrily woke you up. You hit the clock until it stopped screaming, then you finally lifted your head off of your pillow to look at the time. 8 a.m. Fabulous, damn you alarm clock! You jumped out of bed frantically, there was half-an hour until your first class of the day; Philosophy 101. Granted, you loved philosophy and thinking about life from that perspective, but it was too damn early. You run into the bathroom and fix yourself; you brush your (hair color) hair, put on some makeup, and reapply perfume and deodorant. For having woken up five minutes previous, you looked hot. But you always need to look hot for the first official day of classes!

You ran back into your room to find a long sleeved shirt; it had been a habit of yours ever since middle-school to wear long sleeved shirts. You felt more comfortable in them or a jacket/hoodie rather than a short sleeved shirt. When you were younger, it also provided you with ample means of hiding your scars. While growing up, you struggled with depression for many years; and there never seemed to be a suitable way for you to cope with it except for the blade. Now, you coped a little bit better than you did back then; but every now and again you would turn back to the bite of the blade. It had been nearly 3 weeks since your last relapse and you were doing pretty well so far in not relapsing again. You slipped on your (favorite color) long sleeved shirt with a v-neck and that hung tightly around your curves and your favorite pair of comfy jeans; that happened to look amazing on your Assets.

You grabbed your backpack and sprinted out of your apartment without a second glance back; you hurriedly checked your clock on your phone. 8:15. Not bad! You sped walked to the arts building of your college, which happened to be five minutes away! Arriving in your classroom at 8:21, you praised yourself and went to sign in on the attendance sheet in the front of the room. The entrance to the lecture hall was in the back of the hall, once you walked in; you were greeted with a full view of all of your classmates and professor. There were nearly 50 rows of chairs between the entrance and the front of the room where the front row began. Several of these rows contained sleeping students, partied out students, and general bums; but one row contained some of your major-mates. About the fifth row back from the front, sat Gilbert, Ludwig, Feliciano, Lovino, and two men you hadn't met previously; one had shoulder length blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes, he sat next to a man who had messy short blonde hair and very pretty green eyes that seemed to dazzle in the light, but his eyebrows were the size of caterpillars! The man with long blonde hair was laughing at the caterpillar-eyebrowed man as his face flushed and he continually smacked the man with long hair. That's a little odd…You remarked as you gazed at these two men, you then continued forward down the center aisle to sign in and meet your professor.

Before you sat your tanned professor with medium length brown hair, his teal eyes looked very tired and he yawned boredly. He had a cat lying on his desk before him that barely covered his nametag on his desk, it read "Dr. Heracles Karpusi". When you stepped up to sign in, you signed your name on the paper and looked at your professor. "Excuse me, Professor Karpusi, which area of philosophy will we be focusing on?" The bored expression on your professor's expression seemed to be lifted and he looked overjoyed to be asked a question other than "when does class end." He explained the syllabus to you with much joy and excitement that one student was actually looking forward to his class. After several minutes and several philosophy book suggestions later, you thanked your professor and headed back to find a seat. You began walking towards the other side of the room towards the back when you heard an Italian accent calling you back.

"(name)~! Come sit by me~!" You turned and saw Feli waving his arms frantically above his head and then pointing to a seat in front of the row in which he was sitting. Smiling, you walked over to Feli and sat down where he was motioning, "Buongiorno (name)~! I missed you!" Feli hugs you and settles into his seat, you laugh at his childish demeanor and smile "Feli, it's been less than 12 hours since I last saw you!" You teased him. "Ohonhonhonhon Feli, trying to get ahead on the game no?" The man with long blonde hair and blue eyes who was sitting in the row behind you with your major-mates leaned forward and said. He turned his gaze to you and smiled, "Bonjour Mademoiselle. I am Francis Bonnefoy. It is a pleasure." If he could kiss your hand, he would've. You were about to introduce yourself when the Frenchman was yanked back by the man with short blonde hair and green eyes "Damn you git! You're freaking the poor girl out!" This man now turned his gaze to you, blushed and averted his gaze shyly. "I-I'm Arthur Kirkland. It's a pleasure to meet you…" He trailed off, to which you replied "(name), my name is (name). It's a pleasure to meet you both!" You offered them a dazzling smile, the Brit's blush intensified and Francis gave you a perverted grin. That's when you turned your attention back to Feli and realized that there was now someone else sitting on your other side. You turned your head to your right, (Feli was sitting to your left) to see none other than Ludwig!

As you glanced at the German, he appeared to a have a little bit of pink on his cheeks, but you couldn't be quite sure. You smiled, "Good morning Ludwig!" his piercing blue eyes shifted to you, "Guten Morgen (name). How is your head?" Your brows knitted in confusion; how did he know that I hurt my head? Ludwig stuttered, "I-uh, just noticed a cut on your forehead." He muttered. "Oh! It's better thank you, I just hurt myself in an accident the other day." Ludwig looked as if he were about to ask something, but he was interrupted by Professor Karpusi starting class. The class was an hour and a half long; the lecture was very interesting, Professor Karpusi did a very good job explaining concepts and how they are important. But occasionally you would find yourself gazing at the german to your right; his well-defined cheekbones accented his piercing blue eyes that were hidden behind black rimmed eye-glasses. He was wearing a white dress shirt that you could see the outline of his muscles underneath; you nearly drooled several times while staring at Ludwig. You knew you found him attractive; there was no denying that, you just didn't know him well enough yet to know if you liked him as a person.

Philosophy 101: Introduction to Philosophy flew by that day, "Class, I'd like you to read pages 55-70 by the next class and be familiar with the material. Goodbye." Those were the closing words to your first class. You got up out of the rickety chair, stretched, and packed your notebook into your backpack. You didn't have another class until 2pm, and that was your mandatory physical education credit you had to take; you decided that a dance class would be a fun way to exercise! As you began to head towards the exit/entrance of the lecture hall, you felt a hand on your arm tug you back. You turned around to see Feli and a red-faced Ludwig following, "Bella~! Would you like to go to breakfast with mi amico and I?" Feli begged. "Of course Feli! Show me the way!" You heard an excited "Vee~!" and You followed Feli and Ludwig to a small diner on the edge of campus.

In the small diner, you sat across from Ludwig; who sat next to Feli. After placing your order for a plate of buttermilk pancakes from a nice Canadian, you turned to face Ludwig and Feli. Ludwig hadn't really said much the entire time, but Feli started out with "We should play 20 questions while we wait~!" You giggled and looked at Ludwig, "I'm in if he's in." As you motioned to the stoic german. "Ja. Okay" He grunted, Feli did his exited jump and hugged Ludwig. "Vee~! Okay (name), where do you live-a?" You began "Well I live in-" and you were cut off from loud Italian yelling from the kitchen, you looked to see a cook run out of the kitchen in a huff. Followed by a large Italian man coming over to feli and speaking in Italian; Feli looked excited. "Vee~! Mi Zio is letting me cook! This is his restaraunte, so I'll be back soon~!" Feli bolted out of his seat and ran towards the kitchen. You stared after him for several seconds, that was weird. Your gazed turned to Ludwig when he cleared his throat and looked at you. "Well, as you were saying…?" He looked at you expectantly, asking you to continue. "Oh! Sorry, I'm from (hometown name), it's several hours away from here." You said "Ja, I'm from Germany. I was born and raised there until I moved here when I was young." Ludwig Said, Your conversation continued. Then you remembered you were supposed to be playing 20 questions, "Oh Ludwig I think it's your turn for a question!" You smiled at him, over the course of your conversation he had become friendlier, so you might get a chuckle out of him or a smirk. "What was your childhood like in (your hometown)?" He looked at you with curiosity, you sighed and looked down at your hands.

You didn't particularly like talking about your childhood with strangers, but Ludwig seemed different. He seemed trustworthy, so you took a leap of faith and trusted in this strange man. You looked at him with a half-smile "I'll tell you, Just promise not to judge me too much?" He nodded and stared intently into your (eye color) eyes as you began. You began by telling him about the problems you'd faced for as long as you'd been alive; your parents were constantly on and off- your only stability was your older brother who was 5 years older than yourself. You told Ludwig of when you were sexually assaulted by a family member, but no one believed you because you were so young; all except for your brother who then proceeded to beat them and get them thrown in jail. You talked about your father coming home drunk, the constant fighting that happened because your brother was your half-brother, he had a different father than you; which your father didn't like, and he didn't consider your brother his "son." And you even told Ludwig about when your brother died, which you still don't know what compelled you to do so. "I was sixteen and in the middle of high school; my brother had graduated and had begun going to college. He dropped out soon after he started however because he wanted to save up for me to go to college; so he went to work. He ended up working several jobs and made decent money, things were going alright. I lived with him rather than my parents then, He helped me with my depression and he cared more than they did. But one day he didn't come home when he got off work, I began worrying and I left the apartment to go look for him. I found him a block away from our building lying on the ground. He was shot in the head, the police report said he had tried to stop a mugging on his way home when he was shot. The other mugging victim got away safely, she had two young children to get home to….But since then I've lived on my own, the landlord said that I could stay in my brother's apartment because he had paid the rent two years in advance. Just until I would head off to college. He left everything to me, and I haven't seen my parents since his funeral…" You trailed off. You felt numb, you couldn't cry anymore. This wasn't the time for that.

Unexpectedly, you felt a hand placed over yours. You looked to see Ludwig's large hand placed over yours on the table, your eyes lifted from your hands to his face. His expression was one of sorrow, but his eyes held nothing but compassion and comfort. "(name) I'm so sorry…" You shook your head and patted his hand "Don't worry! It's not your fault; besides, it's been a while. Anyways, What was your childhood like in Germany?" Ludwig looked shocked at your lack of tears, but his face slowly morphed into a small smile as you reassured him; he began talking about his heritage and life back in germany; his hand never leaving yours. He talked about how he was an illegitimate child on his father's side, his real mother had died in childbirth; as had Gilbert's. Gilbert was his older brother; he had always watched over Ludwig because their father was a military officer and always away on business, so since they were young boys they were told to be strong for their father and not to cause him grief. Ludwig told you of a time that Gilbert tried to bake Ludwig a cake for his birthday, but ended up putting hot sauce in the cake by accident somehow. This made you both smile and it lightened the tense mood surrounding you both.

Ludwig told you of how his father died when he was eight, leaving him and Gilbert to actually fend for themselves. The boys had no relatives in Germany, So they were sent to Italy where their father's close friend; Roma, lived with his two grandsons. That's how Ludwig met Feliciano and Lovino; Gilbert and Ludwig lived in the house next to the Italian boys so they were close enough that Roma could watch over them all but Gilbert and Ludwig still lived under their german heritage. He also mentioned how he'd lived with depression for a while, and how he had once tried to end his life by a gun; when Gilbert found him and stopped him. He said that night was the only night since their father's death that both he and Gilbert cried together. "Und Since then, I've found small things worth living for. Then, I got accepted to this university; we moved from Italy over the summer and we now live here as students. Feliciano and Lovino followed us because they said American girls were pretty." You chuckled and watched as Ludwig stopped talking and gazed into your eyes. "I'd have to agree." He said, you blushed and looked away flustered; you were about to make some witty comment back when Feli came running up with an apron on and two plates.

"Here's your food-a!" He swerves over to the table and places both of your plates on the end of the table, noticing your and Ludwig's hands on each other's. "Oh (name)~! I'll be working-a here until later, why don't you and Luddy go on without me? Okay! Ciao Bella~!" Feli ran off without another word and giggled as he retreated to the kitchen. You and Ludwig ate your food and continued playing twenty questions; you learned that he wants to be a surgeon or a military doctor. You also learned that he loves running and working out in the morning, that one of his best friends is Japanese, and that he loves potatoes and Bratwurst. You learned some other things before you realized it was 1:30 pm. You had spent about three hours doing nothing but talking to Ludwig, and you loved it! You were about to say goodbye when he mentioned his next class was a dance class, turns out you guys have the same dance class as well! So does Gilbert, Francis, and a Spaniard named Antonio that you met that day. After Class Ludwig walked you back to your apartment, he even walked you straight up to your door! You unlocked your door and stood in the doorway; looking back at the handsome German. He stood there with his satchel bag strap over his broad chest, his hands in his jean pockets and his flushed cheeks staring down at his shoes. "Would you like to meet and go out again? B-But not as a date or anything!" His eyes never left his shoes as he stumbled over his words and his bright pink face flushed a deeper red. You giggled and lifted his chin up so his eyes met yours; "Well, to make it a date you have to win our deal Luddy." You winked and you saw a new determination in his eyes "Ja, Not a problem (name)." and for the first time you saw him smile, his piercing blue eyes sparkled as his white teeth peeked out from under his half-mouth smirk/smile thing. You didn't know exactly what it was, but it was fucking adorable. You smiled in return "I'll be counting on you!" you leaned back in your door frame as he took a step back, grin still apparent on his face. "Don't worry Fraulein. I won't let you down." Before he could take another step away, you jumped forward and unexpectedly hugged him.

At first he was stiff with surprise, then he slowly relaxed and awkwardly placed his hands on your back. You pulled away from the hug and saw his pink face and wide blue eyes; you smiled and patted his cheek "I'll see you tomorrow Ludwig!" and you returned to the safety of your room quickly before you could regret your actions. As soon as you close your door behind you, you grasped your heart. You were so happy to hug someone again. It felt so good, especially because you felt like you could trust Ludwig.

Little did you know; once you closed your door, an awkward German man stood there for several more seconds before he responded "I'm looking forward to it (name)." He smiled and continued walking back to his own house; it had been a long since anyone had hugged him. He had forgotten how nice it felt to be held. He smiled thinking of your smile; Mein Gott. She's beautiful. But I still have to win that bet. Ludwig found another reason to live.

And you found another reason not to relapse.