Chapter Five

The Return

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Sif practiced at staves while Ullr was happily burbling to himself in his portable cradle perched next to the practice yard. She held one in each hand, thwacking the dummy tree's arms in the sequence.

At the end she stepped back, reasonably satisfied that she was getting her form back. Someone applauded and she turned to see Thor approaching her.

"Well done," he called. "Truly the most terrifying mother in all the Nine Realms."

She grinned and saluted with the pair of staves, and Thor went to look in on his nephew. At first she had worried, only a little, that with Thor's strength and his usual heedlessness he might hurt Ullr by accident, but he was always gentle, whether tickling Ullr's chin and making him laugh or holding him. He picked Ullr up, his great big hands making the baby look even smaller, and held him upright. Ullr looked back at him, squinting suspiciously as if he doubted Thor's intentions included milk. "And how is little Ullr today?" he asked.

"He is well. Hungry."

"He eats well and grows strong." He tucked Ullr against his chest, where the baby could grab at the edge of his cape, and gently smoothed his soft hair with his fingertips. He turned to Sif, his expression falling.

She put off the discussion for a moment by putting the staves away before going to him, knowing this was about Loki. Only a few weeks had passed since Frigga's sensing him, and Sif knew that both the queen and Heimdall had tried to locate Loki since, but with no success. "You found him."

Thor nodded once, blue eyes somber. "He let himself be seen. He has gone to Midgard."

Sif frowned. "Midgard? Why?"

Thor could barely speak the answer. "It seems he has taken the tesseract as part of a greater plan. He put mortals under geas, including our friend Erik Selvig, and killed others." He shook his head once, sorrowfully. "I do not understand why he should attack them."

"Because they're under our protection, Thor," she answered. Loki cared nothing for Midgard, so attacking it had everything to do with Asgard. Ullr muttered and kicked at Thor's arm that his red cape had lost his interest. She gave him the ring to suck on while she and Thor finished.

He nodded agreement and then said, "Father has ordered me to stop him and bring him home."

She understood that the king wanted this ended swiftly, but it seemed to her the wrong decision. "No," she said. "Not you. He won't listen to you."

"I will make him listen. I knew nothing of what he had discovered, but I do now, and I will reassure him it changes nothing."

That was what she thought the true problem might be. She remembered Loki's bitter anger at Thor's behavior on Vanaheim, which was something she could see now in hindsight was not the first time. Thor telling him that everything could go back to that was not going to help. She bit her lip and said, as gently as she could, "Thor, he let himself fall to his death rather than listen to you before." Thor reacted as if she'd hit him in the chest, losing his breath and shutting his eyes, pained. "I don't mean to be unkind, my friend, but whatever is happening with him, whatever madness has seized him, you will only make it worse. No," she inhaled a deep breath and decided. "I will go. If word of Ullr will not shift his mind, nothing will. And I want to tell him about his son, myself."

Thor nodded acquiescence to her plan and glanced down at Ullr. "He does change everything. Perhaps hearing that others learning of his outlander blood has not roused the hate he feared will remind him that we are not a cruel people. Thoughtless sometimes," he said, more to himself in regret, "but not cruel."

There had been thoughtlessness in people's reaction to Ullr - people who asked if he was sick, a few people who refused to touch him or said behind her back that he was ugly. Worse were those who admired her for her bravery in having a part Jotunn baby. Sif was always careful to remind those people stiffly that Ullr's father was Loki and he was dead, not wanting to deal with any rumor that she'd been attacked by some random Frost Giant. It wasn't brave for her to have a son who was perfect in every way.

But generally, Thor was right; there was no cruelty. There might be more later, when Ullr was not with her and because children could be terrible, but she hoped by then everyone would be used to him. Or if not, she would leave, because she had meant it that Ullr's well-being was more important than her loyalty to this place.

She took Ullr back and held him against her chest. He spat out the ring and nuzzled into her neck. He found the edge of her collar to suck on, making pouty complaining noises when it didn't provide milk. "I'll feed him and then leave for Midgard."

Thor picked up the ring for her and handed it back. "I will tell Father of your intention to go to Midgard instead and if he approves it, I will escort you to the Bifrost."

In her chambers, she sat on the swing on the balcony and unlaced the front of her tunic for Ullr. She relaxed and watched the birds flit and dive between the towers, trying not to think of what she would find on Midgard, yet her mind kept circling back. What was Loki doing? Was he well? What would he think of Ullr?

When Ullr was finished, she put him down in his sleeping cradle and, for the first time since his birth, she put on her armor. It all still fit, though she noticed the bodice was more snug than it had been. She touched her sword, uncertain. Would Loki take it as a threat? But it was a threat, really, was it not? She would have to stop him if he didn't listen to her. If he was mad or in a rage or bespelled or otherwise incapable of stopping himself, she would have to stop him. She was not Thor, able to put Mjolnir on him to keep him still - she would have to hurt him to force him to stop what he was doing.

But if she came to him armed, he would take it as her coming to retrieve him under orders from Odin. Loki would resist that, because he resisted orders from the king on a good day, and today she would be lucky if he would listen at all.

She glanced at Ullr, who was watching her curiously, probably attracted by the shiny metal of her armor. Those scarlet eyes were already so curious about everything around him, so bright compared to the relative paleness of his blue-grey skin and the black fuzz on his head.

"I will bring him back," she promised Ullr and in one motion, thrust her blade into its sheath. "Let him fight me if he wills. If I have to stab him and haul him back by the neck, I will bring him back for you, I swear."

Footsteps between the columns in the foyer of her suite were a soft warning, as Frigga approached. "The All-Father was reluctant to send you, instead of Thor," the queen said. She eyed the sword but did not argue its presence. "But I persuaded him that you had the right to tell Loki of Ullr. If he does not heed you, Thor will follow. I will stay with Ullr until you return."

Sif was glad that the king had spared her the difficult decision of whether to do this without permission. "Thank you, All-Mother. I will do justice to your faith in me."

"Just… keep faith in him," Frigga warned and the look in her blue eyes was troubled. "There is much going unseen, and I doubt the truth is anything at the surface. He may need us far more than he will acknowledge."

That was discouraging, but not entirely unexpected. Loki was not the most forthcoming or truthful even before he had fallen into nothingness and disappeared. She nodded her understanding and kissed Ullr in promise to return.

Thor escorted her to the Observatory as promised. "How does he, Watcher?"

Heimdall peered into the nothingness, watching. "He waits. He does not attempt to conceal himself."

Sif stepped into position and gave him a nod. "I am ready. Send me."

"Good fortune, Sif," Thor wished her, words simple, but the look in his eyes akin to desperation that she make all this right and bring Loki back to them. She gave him a quick smile, hoping that she could.

The energies began to build and spin, growing brighter and brighter, before seizing her and sending her back to Midgard.