Thanks for the food… Now it's your turn again, Kaneki. What will you do?
…What's going on? I feel… stronger, suddenly. I don't feel any hunger, or pain… I just feel…
A need for revenge.
I can see that the Gourmet is making preparations near the table where my friend is. Good, that means that I still have time. This time there won't be surprise moves or fast attacks from the back. This time I walk slowly to the Gourmet with my sight on the ground, making sure I make as much noise as possible. Seconds pass till the Gourmet notices my presence, and slowly turns back to look at me.
-How the hell are you standing, Monsieur? You should be dead, I even took part of your torso, you shouldn't be able to… - Now, after a quick look to my body, his voice suddenly freezes - … walk.
-My torso…? – It's true; I remember the stinging pain I suffered when his kagune pierced me. But I don't feel it anymore. After a quick check up to my condition, I can see that I'm quite fit, even better than I was before entering the restaurant. What happened to me? To be honest, I don't really care right now. I don't feel headaches anymore, and I don't listen to the voice inside of me. Whatever happened to me, I don't want to think about it now.
-That regenerative ability, that white hair – now, the Gourmet is slowly getting close to me – It's not possible, is it? It can't be you. You are dead, I lost you, and I won't ever see you again. Oh, what kind of joke are my eyes pulling on me! It's impossible, right? Tell me it's impossible, tell me this isn't you.
-Today, you will pay for all of your sins, Gourmet – I don't care about what he is saying, nothing matters right now.
-It isn't you, you can't be you, no way it's you – the same thing over and over again, does he never shuts up?
I'm done with his babbling, so I stretch my quinque so the claws will be able to attack for me. They now answer naturally, and the Gourmet can barely block my attacks.
-I have no idea to who you refer, but I don't really care anyways. Can you hurry up and die, please?
I don't even need to move my arms; the claws go to where my sight is set.
-It's not true; it isn't true, not true. It's not you, right…?
-Shut up already, you freaking ghoul.
-Please, tell me it's not you… Kaneki.
…Kaneki? Why does he know my name? Must be coincidence, a simple coincidence. But this fact gives me a terrible headache, just when I thought they were gone forever, and my quinque stops. Could it be that the Gourmet has a relationship with my past? Somehow, I feel like everything starts to make sense inside of me.
-So it is you – suddenly, the Gourmet changes his attitude towards me completely, and he falls on his knees to the ground – It's you, Kaneki… I can't believe it, I thought I had lost you forever, but here you are. You are for me, right? Magnifique! Oh, destiny, you truly are marvelous!
Shut up, shut up, shut up already! I feel that my head is going to explode; I don't want to listen to him anymore. I need to finish him so I can rest; I'm going to kill him right now. I take advantage that he is sitting on his knees and punch him with my right hand on his face, which leaves him surprised. Hitting a ghoul with my bare hands? I should have broken my bones, but I'm fine. Anyways, I wanted him to shut up, and it worked. He seems stunned, now is my chance. The claws of my quinque move erratically, but it doesn't matter. I feel like I still have control over them and I use them to hit the Gourmet constantly. I can hear his cries, full of pain, while I stab him and take parts of his kagune.
-You know what, Gourmet? This one is for that freaking gas you launched to me outside the restaurant.
A claw pierces his left arm, nailing him to the ground.
-This one goes for the parents of Leonard, you fucking murderer.
A second claw pierces his right arm with what's left of his kagune, and that makes him scream even more.
-Also, I want you to experience the same pain I suffered when you destroyed the body of that poor dead man.
Both claws that were piercing his arms now raise him, and he looks just like a crucified monster. A third claw slowly starts to cut his face without reaching too deep, because I don't want him dead. Not yet, not so soon.
-And the last one… because you are a monstrous ghoul.
Using the fourth and last claw, I cut his right arm and it falls with his kagune.
-haha… hahaha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Am I crazy? I'm close to my objective, he has no defenses left, and everything I can do is laugh maniacally. I will be able to avenge the dead man, Leonard's parents, and I will end a highly dangerous ghoul. Everything on my own. I did it myself, right? I'm worthy now; no one will be able to look at me with contempt or doubt about my capacity. I just need to kill him, it's simple. He is a ghoul, he must die. But then…
Why am I crying?
I feel the tears fall through my face while I laugh and I fall to my knees right to Gourmet's body. My quinque became a halberd again, but that's ok. The fight is over; I just need to finish him. Slowly, I raise my quinque, and I can feel my hands shake while I do it.
Stop me, please.
I won't stop.
Please, don't make me do it.
I have to, it's my duty.
But I know that you don't want to make me do it.
Damn it, this voice is different. The first one was erratic and psychopath, but this one feels… natural and warm.
Please, make me remember…
I must kill him… I have the halberd just above his chest; I just need to let it fall.
No, please… I'm begging you…
I close my eyes to focus on my task and apply more pressure into my hands so I won't fail. I must do it, so I let my quinque fall with all the energies I have left.
DON'T MAKE ME KILL A PERSON!
-AHHHHHHHHHHHH, DAMNIT!
I failed. One more time, I failed. By millimeters, but I still didn't manage to hit Gourmet. I shout out of impotence while I still cry rivers of tears, and everything suddenly comes back to my head. Why can't I murder a ghoul? Why am I in such good condition when I saw myself how I lost a great part of my torso? Why do I hear voices inside of my head? Please…
What am I?