Disclaimer: I don't own the story of Frozen or any of its original characters, including but not limited to Anna, Elsa, The King, Olaf, Sven, Gerda and Kristoff.
AN: Here's Chapter 6 guys! So just a note, since people seem to be getting confused, there is a LOT of stuff that happens that has not been written about. Someone mentioned it seemed like Elsa had been leading Kristoff on; just to clarify they were together in a matter of speaking for several years in this story. Hope that clears things up! If you have any questions still, ask them in a review and I'll either write about them or answer them in the Author's Note.
Also, this one happens right after Chapter 5, this is almost a continuation of that chapter. After this we will probably jump around in the chronology again because I think it's fun.
Anna has been sitting in my room alone for the past several hours. When I look outside again, the world has sunken into darkness. It is a clouded darkness which means that I can see no stars or moon on this night. The window has frozen shut and I cannot open it to get any air. I wipe the frost off of its surface and gaze out of the window into the cold darkness. The room I am in now is not one of mine; it is one unused by my father which means that having ice fits in here is not as bad. There is no furniture to ruin. Unlike usual I have remained conscious throughout the entirety of my stay in this room. I am not aware of how long I have spent in here though; baby steps I guess.
I pull off my boots because I can feel my feet sweating uncomfortably in them. I put them on when my feet were still wet back in the cave and I am now facing the consequences. I am the only person I know who can sit in a room frozen solid, with icicles pointing from every direction and still be sweating.
I have not seen Anna since I left her in my room. I told Gerda to give the girl a long bath and not to answer any questions about this whole gender catastrophe. I will handle that when I get there, it is not Gerda's secret so she need not explain it. I have no idea what Anna is thinking though and it is truthfully that which has led to the freezing of this room. There are a lot of things affecting me emotionally now, but the thought of losing my wife three weeks before we are wed is the worst one of all.
I am not angry at Kristoff, although the newly formed bruises on my knuckles might tell a different story. I am more sorry for him than anything else actually. I know that I am a difficult person to be around, but the situation itself was difficult. There really was no feasible way for him and I to be together that did not result in the estrangement of me from my family and the potential destruction of our kingdom. I know him to truly be a very kind person so I am not even angry at what he said to Anna. I am sad that it turned out the way it did, in a perfect situation we would stayed friends.
Nor am I particularly worried about any vengeful actions he might take. I have never known him to hold grudges or seek vengeance over anyone. He more often seeks out understanding and forgiveness from the person. Although in this instance, I also doubt that. However, even if he did try to take revenge on me and told everyone my true sex, no one would believe him. And worse, he would probably be beheaded for accusing the future King of such a crime as lying to his people for his entire life.
No, it is the possible thoughts forming and swirling around Anna's brain that have sent me into such a flurry upon our arrival back to the castle. I have always known that finding a wife would be especially difficult for me; as there are a lot of factors involved. The family the princess comes from is one, the strategic location of their family's kingdom is another, their ability to conduct court in an appropriate manner and, in addition, their ability to know and keep my most important and devastating secret. Anna was the best candidate by far that my father approached me with. This was why I had requested such an extended courtship with her before our wedding was to take place. I had to make sure I could completely trust her with something that could ruin my life.
I left my boots in the frozen room when I walked into the hall and told a serving girl who was near to inform Gerda that the room needed cleaning. She bowed and turned away. I think several of the servants here are figuring out just what the ice magic is doing to me. It is pretty late though, as I suspected, and there are very few people out and about. I am quite sure I have never walked the halls barefoot before and the prospect makes me laugh to myself.
Once I reach the door to my room I pause; I am unsure what I will find awaiting me inside and I, for once, am scared out of my mind. I can feel a warmth coming from the room; Gerda must have started a fire in there.
I gently press the door open and step gingerly inside; Anna is sitting on the edge of the bed in a long sky blue nightdress. She remains very still as I walk inside but her eyes do turn towards me. She nods towards me but I receive none of her warm and inviting smile that I have become accustomed to. She is not giving off an air of coldness, simply just that she is unsure what she wants to say and how she wants to react to me.
"Anna," I start, her eyebrows raise in anticipation of what I will say. I refuse to start our conversation off heavy though, "would you like to stay here tonight, there is more than one place to sleep and I'm quite sure we can work it out." She nods but says nothing. I take that as my cue to continue speaking, "I'm going to get undressed now, because I don't much fancy sleeping in these clothes." I flash her a smile, although I would be lying if I said it was not forced. She grants me a small grin back.
I pull off my tunic which has grown dirty from wear all day and place it on a chair which sits near the wardrobe. Anna is watching me intently. She continues to watch me as I pull off my trousers and put on some night-wear ones. Her eyes narrow as I take off my undershirt and bindings. I stand before her, never having felt more vulnerable, with the torso of a woman.
I am getting more anxious as time goes on and this comes out as impatience; I blurt out, "Aren't you going to ask me why?"
She looks at me for a moment; it is a long moment. Despite the obvious and inevitable warmth from the fire, during that moment I feel a chill rise up my spine and my hands grow cold. Slowly though, she rises from her seated position on my bed, the night dress is loose on her form and flows easily as she moves. She walks toward me with intent and I do not know how to respond. She does not stop walking until she is less than a foot in front of me.
"I don't need to ask why Eza. I get it. I've been doing a lot of thinking in here. I bet you were going to tell me anyways weren't you?" I nod slowly; I am a bit taken aback by this. There were a lot of things I thought she would say, but this was not really one of them. I sink down into the chair I had placed my tunic in; since Anna is so much shorter than me, we are much closer to eye level now.
"Elsa." I whisper, my eyes still transfixed on hers. "My name is really Elsa." She smiles with her lips closed, better than the quick grin from earlier but not quite the beautiful smile I am so fond of.
"Elsa." She repeats.
"Do you still want to marry me?" I ask pathetically; this woman has truly leveled me today. She is right in assuming I was going to tell her before the wedding, but not like this, never like this. My meeting with Kristoff might have ruined everything.
"First you have to tell me about Kristoff." I flinch a little internally at the mention of his name but I nod. She pulls the other chair from across the room over and sits in front of me.
"Kristoff and I met when we were five years old. I went to the market with my father; he often liked to show me off as a child since I was very beautiful and could make snow come out of my fingers. Kristoff didn't have a family but he was staying with a group of ice sellers. They go into the mountains and break the ice apart you know, very physically difficult work. And he was about as tall as I, I remember. My father let us play together that day, and Kristoff figured it out. He figured out that I was a girl. I was less experienced in fooling the masses back then. After that I always made excuses to go to the market to see him. When we were 12 was when he first took me to the cave. It was my twelfth birthday, and the fourth one that my father had been gone for. So, as a present, he took me to the cave which was to be our secret place.
"When we were 16 we fell in love. It was foolish then too, only he remembered back then that it was not something to last forever. We told no one of our secret. It was like a drug, an escape from a world of people who didn't know me, who sought to control me, or who simply didn't care about me. Kristoff was all that mattered. When we were 21 we made love for the first time, we were incredibly careful not to cause any unwanted consequences. But after that happened, it got harder and harder to sneak away so often. You see, father was trying to find me a wife and I was often entertaining young ladies. It was really during that time that I knew our time together was finite. I hadn't seen him in over five months before today, and I haven't lain with him since eight months ago." She nods. She sits for a moment, absorbing the quick summary of my several years of love and pain over this man.
"I appreciate your honesty. I hope that you can find the same freedom of self with me." She does not look at all satisfied though.
"Anna, you don't have to marry me." I say gently. I would be lying if I said I had not fallen in love with Anna during our courtship, but I understood that asking her to accept this was asking a lot of her.
"I know," she says, "I think I still want to though."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, quite sure."
"May I kiss you?" I ask, because I need something like that at this moment, this day has been one of crumbling past life and I need some solidarity.
"Yes," she says back; I place my hands gently on the back of her neck and pull her closer to me. I entwine my lips with hers and this kiss is my favorite so far. It is long and passionate and sweet.
