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I sat by the window of the train, staring out at the landscape flying by. The sound of footsteps made me look up, and I saw Ash standing in the doorway. I stood and moved to my bed, sitting down on the foot and patting the covers next to me. Ash closed the door behind him and walked towards me through the darkness of the car, sitting on the bed and bringing his knees up under his chin.
"I'm scared, Rosa."
"Don't be," I said, shaking my head. "Fear doesn't help anyone, it just makes your hands shake."
"Rosa... at least one of us is going to die," he said, his eyes watering. The moonlight filtering in through the window made his blonde hair glow a ghostly white and his eyes shone.
"Ash, you're going to make it home, don't worry," I said, hugging him tightly.
"But even if I do, you won't..." he said, pulling back and looking up at me. He glanced down at the necklace going around my neck. "Did Dad give that to you? Is it going to be your token?"
"Yeah," I said, nodding. "Did they give you something?"
"It's not something I can take into the games, but..." he reached into his pocked and pulled out a small book. It was Mom's plant book from when she was a kid, which she and Dad had kept up over the years. It was filled with plants, their uses, pictures of them, and every few pages there was a dried and pressed sample of something... a primrose, nightlock leaves, so forth. "Mom wanted me to study it so we wouldn't do something stupid like Dad almost did with the night-lock berries. She said if we were going to die, we weren't going to die by some pollinated bubbles of juice..."
I smirked. "Are you sure you can't take it into the games?"
"It would give me an advantage, wouldn't it? I don't think we're allowed to take stuff that gives us advantages in the games..." he said, running his fingers along the worn spine of the little book. "Mom did give me this, though, if I can't take this into the games." he pulled the mockingjay pin out of his pocket and held it out in the moonlight.
It was old and damaged now, with dried blood in some of the hard to reach crevices of the pin. The clasp didn't shut properly anymore and the arrow was bent, but it had sentimental value so that still mattered.
"I don't know if they're going to let you take the symbol of the rebellion in there," I said, frowning.
"They might," he said, his face growing somber with an age unfitting of a twelve year old. "When they see how damaged it is, and how broken it looks."
I looked at him for a long moment, processing what he had just said. Not sure how to respond, I just said, "We need to make a good impression tomorrow in order to get sponsors. Make sure you get your sleep, Ash." He nodded, got up off my bed with his book and his pin in hand, and walked back to the door.
"Goodnight," he said.
"Goodnight," I replied. He opened the door and left. The door closed behind him, and I sat in silence in the dark for a long time. I ran my fingers over the painted wood of the necklace, then crawled under the covers. I thought I would face another sleepless night, but the exhaustion took hold and instead I fell fast asleep.
I woke to light streaming in through the windows and I lay there for a minute, staring at the beams of sunlight. Part of me was surprised to see it, as though the sun really wasn't going to rise again after Ash and I were drawn, as though it really was the end of the world. But somehow, the world kept spinning.
I got up and went back into the bathroom, brushed my hair and washed my face. I found fresh clothes and changed into a long sleeved blue and green shirt with another pair of dress-pants.
The thoughts of the games ahead took over my mind. I couldn't seem to stop twitching, and adrenaline began flooding my blood. I paced back and forth through my room, not wanting to go out yet but also having no idea what time it was.
I paused, took a deep breath, and stretched my hands high towards the ceiling. I released the breath, reaching for my toes now. I went through a few yoga exercises similar to this until the adrenaline began to fade. Even after that, I kept going through the motions with my eyes closed, just trying to keep my mind awake and calm.
I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Aelia's voice said, "Breakfast, breakfast, breakfast!"
I sighed, stood up, and made sure my clothes were all in order. I left my room without bothering to make my bed, which Mom would have skinned alive for at home, but I just couldn't find a way to care right now.
In the dining car everyone but Hadriana was already there. Plates of bacon, eggs, toast, potatoes, roasted peppers, sausage, waffles, pancakes, french toast, bowls of oatmeal, butter, syrup and sugar, pitchers of water and various juices and more decorated the table.
Naevius was on his feet filling up a plate with toast , bacon and potatoes when I walked in. He glanced up at me, then grabbed some silverware from the empty seat and carried it past me back down the hallway I had just emerged from.
"Hadriana, I have breakfast for you," his voice reached my ears. A door opened and coughing filled the hallway, then the door shut again and Naevius reappeared. He smiled at me. "Breakfast, Rosa?" I nodded, moved back to the table. I sat in the same seat as I had the night before and looked at a huge breakfast spread without much appetite. I put a few pieces of bacon on my plate anyways, but I barely touched them.
Breakfast was the definition of awkward. It was silent, almost completely except for when Aelia tried to make small talk. When all else failed, she started telling us her life story. Apparently she was born in District Two before the rebellion and stayed faithful to the capital and was now being rewarded by becoming a capital citizen. She also said Effie Trinket was her role model. After that point I just completely zoned out.
Finally, the train began to slow and I looked up. Outside of the windows I saw that the landscape had transformed into tall buildings. The sound of cheering crowds leaked through the cracked windows and I heard Nero's voice booming over the crowd, announcing that the thirteen trains were finally arriving from across Panem, and they meet the tributes in the flesh.
Here we go.
