* CHAPTER 7 *

"Hey, Ma, you remember that book we used to read together, Put Me In the Zoo?"

She continued packing up her supplies while she answered me, returning each bonker to its allotted slot as if tucking in a child. "Of course. The ambiguous creature who does all those tricks with his brightly colored spots. You loved that story."

I held out my multi-colored hands, and we both laughed. "Do you think he came from the bingo hall?"

"Should we swing by the Beardsley zoo on the way home tonight? Maybe they have a 24-hour depository."

"I don't think I'd fit through the drop-off slot, but thanks. Besides, I can't juggle."

"No, you never really mastered the whole hand-eye coordination thing," she said with a chuckle.

Years of failure on little league diamonds came rushing back, bringing with them the sting of humiliation that never quite went away. "Thanks for the reminder, Ma."

"Aww, I'm sorry." She stopped gathering her supplies to pat my hand. "You're good at so many other things. I thought you were over all that by now."

"Gee thanks." I tried to shrug her off, in no way wanting to prolong our time in this room, but Ma was stuck in the moment.

She reached for my arm and gave me a gentle squeeze. "You're a good sport, son, sitting through a whole bingo session. I had a wonderful time. I hope it wasn't too torturous." Ma peeked around my shoulder and gave her eyebrows a playful wiggle.

"Subtle you are not, Mother."

To that, she rolled her eyes. "I know a nice girl when I see one."

I bit my lip.

Ma took my silence as an invitation to lean in and whisper in my ear. "Do you want to invite her to dinner?"

I pulled Ma two steps away from Bella. The last thing I needed was for her to hear my mother going on about fixing us up. "I'm sure she already has plans. It's Friday night."

"How are you ever going to know if you don't ask?"

"Ma," I said, distracting her with my most charming son smile, "I already have a date tonight."

"Pshhh. Oh, Edward! What am I gonna do with you?"

"Well, I suggest you let me scrub this shi—paint off my hands, put on a button-down and my serious shoes, and after that, let me escort you to your favorite spot for your special birthday dinner."

"Fine, fine, okay. I can take a hint."

I couldn't help my guffaw. "I hinted about seven hours ago, but who's counting?"

"Sue me!"

Remember the part where you were trying not to be a jerk to your mother today?

"Look, it's fine. I'm just ready to go, okay?"

Ma studied me one last time, searching for any slight hint I might change my mind. I held my ground. I was not about to have my mother fix me up with my one-night stand.

She let out a soft sigh as her system accepted the defeat. I released her from my stern glare.

"Am I at least permitted to say goodbye to my new friend?"

It wasn't exactly a question. I stepped out of her path before she knocked me over.

"Bella, dear, it's been an absolute pleasure."

She turned at Ma's hand on her back, lighting up the room with her smile. "It sure has. So great to meet you, Esme." Craning her neck around my mother, she added, "You too, Edward."

I waved and nodded and blushed.

Bella clasped Ma's hands between her own. "Too bad we couldn't get you that birthday bingo today," Bella said.

"Oh, fie," Ma said, "it's a thrill just to be here. It's not always about the bingo, don't ya know?"

Bella's gaze shifted to mine for one painful fraction of a second before returning to my mother's. "I sure do." I had a nice time. It's okay. I hardly ever do . . . "It's the thrill of the adventure that brings us back."

My blush deepened.

"Indeed, indeed. Bring me back it always does."

"Well, I hope next time you're here, you'll come find me. I'm always in the same spot. I've worked out the feng shui."

I schooled my face hard; an eyeroll was only going to earn me serious trouble.

"Oh, I think we can go one better than that, dear." Ma was digging in her bag . . . what is she . . .? "Let's make a plan, shall we?"

Holy shit! My mother was making a date with MY GIRL!

"Love to!" Bella answered. "When will you be back?"

To add insult to injury, Ma turned back to press her bingo bag into my arms. I swear a coy smile crossed her lips just before she asked, "Hold this for me, would you, dear?"

I cradled the bag as it hit my belly. What else could I do but stand there passively like some mute, emasculated valet while she and Bella compared calendars and exchanged numbers?

"Wonderful! It's a date!" The two hugged at the end of the surreal exchange. Ma reached a hand behind her for her bag, avoiding my glare at all costs, and moved toward the exit.

Hello, awkward goodbye.

Author's Note: I hope you all enjoyed that silly story Put Me in the Zoo as much as I did as a kid and then as a parent! Poor multi-colored Bonkward has to be alone with Bella Jean once more. Oh dear! Thanks for your patience while fanfic was out of commission yesterday. MWAH!

XXX ~BOH