If I were in Ravenclaw...

by Elementary98

Disclaimer: For the disclaimer, check out Chapter 1 - An introduction to magic

Chapter 6 - The First Day At Hogwarts

It all went by in a blur. Meeting Professor Flitwick, looking at the Ravenclaw dorms and their Common Room, wandering through the castle open-mouthed...

I was pretty much done for, staring at everything with something akin to incrediously. "How is that possible? Talking portraits? Staircases moving all on their own? What next, a cerberus guarding the all-famous forbidden Third Floor?", I asked my house mates, walking past our Head of House in the process.

Professor Flitwick went red in the face and muttered something. "What did you say, sir?" The small man shook his head and scurried on. "All weirdos", I said to Parvati and Padma, who giggled.

"Has anyone of you seen Harry and the other Slytherins?" The whole Common Room shook their heads. A single boy, seemingly a prefect, replied. "Well, I haven't seen them, but I have an idea where they could be!" I nodded eagerly. "Okay then, where? Point me!"

The boy spluttered. "What... No! I can't let you go to the Slytherin Common Room, down to the dungeons, Professor Snape would kill me! I have seen how he looks at you, I would be done for!" I grinned victoriously. "AHA! The dungeons! Thank you very much, I will be gone then!"

I left the others behind, singing quietly.

"I'm a Potions Master and I'm here to say
I brew all night and I teach all day!"

I jumped down a few steps and continued:

"I cut down students, I scare them all
I go to the Apothecary
On Wednesdays I go grovelling
And have three Crucios' by tea!"

I had heard the word 'Crucio' mentioned by another student, and it had a nice ring to it. Of course I had no idea what it was, but it didn't really matter to me.

I didn't notice Professor Snape come out of a nearby door, and also not the crowd of Slytherin students that stood next to a wall, eyeing me suspiciously.

I just went on and on, oblivious to what happened around me.

"I'm a Potions Master and I'm here to say
I brew all night and I teach all day

I cut down students, I prowl and stalk
I like things just that way
I put on all black clothing
And hang 'round the Prefects shower?!"

A few of the students snickered loudlessly, and the greasy-haired professor sneered at them.

"I cut down students, I bide my time
I wait for a Gryffindor
I wear my new black boxers
And I come when she does call"

He determinedly went for my shoulder...

"I cut down students, I pant and puff
I need less exercise
She thinks I am terrific!
And then she critiques me on my size?!"

Professor Snape was so shocked that his hand stopped in mid-air. Still not noticing, I continued on down the floor.

"I cut down students, I sit and wait
To hear from Dumbledore
I should have used protection
Because she's due to -"

This time, Professor Snape really made a grab for my shoulder, squeezing it tightly. I was so shocked, that, out of instinct, made a grab for his arm and used all of my strength to throw him down onto the floor. The poor Potions Master wasn't prepared for it, so he went flying.

It was at that moment when I noticed who I had just thrown to the ground with a well-practised Judo technique. "Oh. OH. I'm sorry sir." I had the grace to look ashamed.

The man was furious. "OH, is that all you have to say!? You have made me the laughing stock of half the school!" I looked around. Really. All my fellow housemates were there, most of the Slytherins and... was that Professor McGonnagal, the Gryffindor's Head of House!? Oh man, I was so done for.

"DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR! I WILL HAVE YOU SCRUBBING CAULDRONS UNTIL YOU GROW OLD!"

Oh yes, I was soo done for.

Credit for the song goes to: OzRatbag2 on ashwinder sycophanthex, Song called "The Potion Master's song"!