well here's another chapter! It's honestly not that good and involves a whole bunch of Tom commentation, but oh well. yall can deal with it I just want to get to my favorite scene!

Act 1 Scene 5

Quirrell: Fools! They're all fools. They think they're safe, they think they're back for another fun year of learning shenanigans at Hogwarts. Little do they know the danger that's lurking right under their noses or should I say on the back of their heads?

"You're kidding me, right?" Tom grumbled.

Voldemort: -coughs- I can't breathe in that damn turban.

Tom nodded in agreement. "He never washed that thing. It tickled my 'nose'

"Wow Ginny, You were certainly right about Voldy here being hot!" Hermione exclaimed.

"What did I tell you Hermione? I have good taste in men." Ginny giggled while snuggling into Harry's chest.

"You guys are gross," Ron grumbled. Tom just sat there gleaming at being called hot.

Quirrell: I'm sorry my Lord, it's a necessary precaution, for if they knew that you lived, that when Harry Potter destroyed you, your soul lived on.

Voldemort: Yes, that when my body was destroyed I was forced to live in the Forbidden Forest, eating bugs and mushrooms and, ugh, unicorn blood.

He gagged

Quirrell: Until I found you and let you attach yourself to my soul.

Voldemort: Yes, nobody must know any of that. Now, Quirrell, get me some water. Now Quirrell, pour it my mouth.

"Did you-?"

"Of course not. I didn't need water," Tom answered

Quirrell: You're plan to infiltrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly my liege.

Voldemort: Yes, yes, yes, I'm done with the water. We must not have any more foul-ups like tonight in the Great Hall.

"You're the one who sneezed!" Hermione argued.

"You don't think I know that?" he grumbled.

Quirrell: I'm sorry my Lord, you sneezed.

Voldemort: I know that! Get me some Nasonex you swine! Wash that turban, it tickles my nose.

Quirrell: Yes, my Dark King.

Voldemort: Okay, just relax with the Dark King, okay? I watch you wipe your butt daily.

Choruses of EWWs were heard throughout the room.

You can call me Voldemort, we're there. We've reached that point.

Everyone laughed.

Quirrell: Yes, yes my-Voldemort.

Voldemort: Now Quirrell, get us ready for bed. We must be well rested if we wish to kill Potter. Tonight in the Great Hall, he was so close! I could've touched him.

Revenge is at my fingertips, Quirrell. I can taste it…it tastes like coolmint.

Quirrell: That's our Listerine, Voldemort.

Voldemort: Yes, excellent. Well, goodnight Quirrell.

Quirrell: Goodnight.

Everyone laughed at how silly the two looked on the bed.

Voldemort: Okay, okay, I can't do this. We gotta roll over, I can't sleep on my tummy.

"He's right. I can't," Tom agreed patting his stomach

Quirrell: I always sleep on my back; I have back troubles. It's the only way I'm comfortable.

Voldemort: You roll over right now or I'll…I'll eat your pillow! You'd be having a dream that you're eating a giant marshmallow but really you'll wake up and your favorite goose feather pillow will be missing.

Quirrell: Fine we'll compromise; we'll sleep on our side.

Voldemort: Okay, I guess I can do this.

Quirrell: Now, goodnight.

Voldemort: Goodnight Quirrell…

"Why do I have this feeling…" Harry trailed off.

Hey Quirrell? How long have those robes been on that chair?

"That's why," he mumbled

Quirrell: I think they're from last night, I just put them there for now.

Voldemort: Well, are you planning on putting them in a hamper? What's your plan for these?

Quirrell: I figured I'd just leave them there for now and maybe put them away in the morning okay?

Voldemort: Ah, no! No, no that's not okay!

Everyone laughed

I can't go to sleep knowing there are dirty clothes on that chair. The chair's gonna start smelling like dirty clothes.

Quirrell: Look, I promise I'll put them away in the morning.

Voldemort: You put them away right now! I command you to get up and fold them at least! Make it into a neat pile.

Quirrell: Look, if we're going to be in this situation for a while we're going to have to learn to live with each other. Now I've been single for all my life and I have some habits, and sometimes I leave laundry around.

"So true," Snape snickered.

Voldemort: Well I believe that everything has its place. Muggles have their place, Mudbloods have their place, and so do. Your. Clothes! Namely, a dresser!

Everyone laughed at the scene Voldemort caused over dirty clothes. Hermione looked hurt from the Mudblood part, but we she caught Draco's eyes he sent her a reassuring look.

Quirrell: Well, aren't we an odd couple? (Singing) You won't sleep on your tummy.

"Here we go"

Voldemort: You won't sleep on your back.

Both: We're quite the kooky couple you'll agree.

Quirrell: We share some hands and fingers.

Voldemort: And yet the feeling lingers.

Both: We're just about as different as anyone can be.

Voldemort: You like plotting a garden and I like plotting to kill.

Quirrell: You think that you should rule the world, I think books are a thrill! Sipping tea by the fire is swell.

Voldemort: Pushing people in is fun as well. I like folding all of my ties.

Quirrell: And you have no friends, hey, that's a surprise.

"Not really"

Both: As anyone can see when you look at you and me, we're different, different as can be.

Voldemort: You're a sissy, a twat, a girl! I'm the darkest of Lords.

Quirrell: I'm the brightest professor here, I've won several awards!

Snape snorted

Voldemort: My new world's about to unfold.

Quirrell: You got beat by a two year old.

Voldemort: I'll kill him this time through and through.

Quirrell: Or you just might give him another tattoo.

Harry jumped out of his seat, scaring Ginny, and ran to his room. Everyone burst out laughing when he returned and hustled to his seat wearing his headband.

Both: We really must agree when you look at you and me, we're different, different as can-

Voldemort: I'll rise again and I'll rule the world! But you must help me renew. For when our plan succeeds.

Quirrell: Prevails!

Voldemort: Part of that world goes to you.

Quirrell: When I rule the world, I'll plant flowers!

Voldemort: When I rule the world I'll have snakes.

Quirrell: And Jane Austen novels! Voldemort: and goblins and werewolves, a fleet of Dementors and giants and Threstals and all my Death Eaters!

Both: When I rule the world! –Evil laughter-

"That was definitely the strangest scene" Harry said. Everyone seemed to agree. Tom just looked petrified. He would definitely be scarred for life.

"Well, next scene!" Ron yelled.

What did I say about the bunch of Tom commentation? I wanted him to morbid about how StarKid interprets him. And honestly no one has that much to say in this scene since there are only 2 characters in it. Oh well, R&R!

Dawn Elliot- Ikr! Although It totally could have been anyone that the group hates. Like Percy or I could have brought Quirrell back? Ya probably not, but I felt it would be a good idea for Voldy to join the group. Though I dont really know what to do with him like make him good like a cliche or. I really dont know haha. well I hope you liked it!

Hugs and Kisses! XOXO SecretWriter