Thirteen

Arendelle's scandal was far from over, to the horror of most everyone in the castle. When the news came that another body was found, Elsa thought Ingvalda was going to faint.

The finely dressed man that seemed a younger replica of the previous body was found under supplies in a cart. Attached was another note from 'Prince Hans'. One side read, 'Long live the heirs', and the other identified him as Prince Campbell of the Southern Isles.

Elsa's mind wandered as the details were read to her and a counsel of others. First the king, now Hans' eldest brother, Campbell. They'd been the first to disappear, as well. A strangely cold shiver ran through her body as Elsa realized the bodies weren't going to stop coming. So long as family kept disappearing, they'd be found in Arendelle.

But she couldn't tell the flustered council members who interrupted each other with panicked overlapping statements that were all but speculation. To confirm her hypothesis, she'd have to explain why she knew the men were missing in the first place, and also why she hadn't shared this knowledge. I'm so stupid, Elsa punished herself. Why did I keep the letters a secret? I can't reveal them now.

Hans' distress only grew wilder. Lessons at two never seemed to be lessons anymore, compared to venting sessions and theories and a flurry of emotions that predominantly belonged to Hans. The ice queen, who had been controlling her emotions all her life, found his display slightly theatrical, but she had to remind herself that they had separate ways of mourning.

Besides her upbringing, Elsa had more motivation for staying quiet. Since her terrifyingly close encounter when he first allowed her back in, Elsa had been thinking of almost nothing but it. Was it the rush of emotions in that day that had caused her heart to leap like that and her cheeks to burn? She tried to conclude so, but found that she'd blushed too many times before.

She watched Hans as he ranted about Campbell, about how he never necessarily bullied him besides when he, Francis, and John pretended he was invisible for two years. How funny it was that someone had to die to be thought of fondly, he mused.

Watching and listening to him, even with such a terrible subject matter, made Elsa happy. Not in an immediately noticeable way. But she'd catch herself fifteen minutes later with warm fingers and a very slight turn of the lips.

Now, Elsa hadn't read many books on the topic or experienced this kind of rush until now, but there was one absolutely horrifying phrase that came to mind when she added all the factors together. Elsa was falling- no, had fallen- for Hans.

This was one of the only things that she couldn't bring herself to talk about to him. The terrifying prospect was still so new, and she wondered if it wouldn't just pass like some kind of fever. But the more time she spent with him, the more she began to feel as though this sickness wasn't going to leave anytime soon.

Lessons resumed, eventually. Though Hans was decidedly less in control of his fire than before. Their meetings weren't lessons so much as two people teaching and helping each other.

And dare Elsa think it, but she thought that in the manner of his words, the look in his eye, the turn of his lip, she could almost see something like what she felt. So foreign, yet suddenly familiar. She never asked him anything about it, though. She never even thought about that terrifying four letter word that saved her kingdom from eternal winter.

Because how could it be love?

She wondered if she was beginning to lose her mind.

And when three o'clock tea began again at Anna's request, Elsa felt more estranged than ever. She could hardly even look at her sister. How could she explain that she had feelings for the devil? Anna was an angel who saw the best in everyone, and always found the bright side of even the lowliest, dirtiest rock. And Elsa had to fall for the one person she despised.

As the two sat in silence with their tea steaming from the cups into the stifling air, Elsa knew that Anna's opinion was in every way justified.

I can't tell Anna.

Elsa had promised she'd tell Anna everything. And the look on the princess' face when Elsa said it would just be a little longer was so sad, yet so hopeful. She saw good in her sister even when Elsa deserved nothing, given the way she'd always dealt with Anna.

I don't know why Anna still loves me.

She sneaked a glance at the girl, her braids pinned up to her head today. Either she'd learned to pin it herself, or she was finally allowing Gerda to do her hair. Since she became a rebellious little adventure-seeker, Anna found two easy braids the most practical. Elsa wondered why she'd suddenly decided to do her hair.

That girl with the new hair and the blue eyes and the best wishes and intentions still loved Elsa. Despite everything she'd done, the queen was still loved. Anna believed the absolute most of her sister, and Elsa had done nothing but prove her wrong.

If she loves me, she could accept anyone.

"I like your hair," Elsa broke the silence with a quiet statement.

It took Anna by surprise a little bit. She blinked, as if she couldn't believe the statement was towards her. "My hair?"

"What, hi me?"

It was as if nothing had changed at all.

Elsa nodded. "It looks nice."

"You think so?" Anna asked, warming up. "Ingvalda thought I should start wearing it like this, with all the official government people here."

Elsa's mood couldn't have sunk quicker. The last thing she wanted to think of was this business with Ingvalda.

"She, uh... wanted to know why you weren't there today," Anna said slowly, carefully.

"Wait, there was a meeting today?"

"Yeah," Anna said, looking away and biting her lip. "We were talking about the letter to the Southern Isles. Someone went to go get you, but... you weren't in your room."

I never should have spoken.

Elsa didn't know how to react. Did she play it cool? Did she lie? Did she say trust me again?

No, she couldn't keep doing this. Anna deserved the truth.

I have to tell her.

"I... I was in the dungeon," Elsa said after a deep sigh to gain strength.

Anna had likely expected a trust me. This strange explanation caught her attention immediately.

"With Hans?" she inquired, all but leaning across the table.

There'd been lessons earlier today. They were working on speed, trying to achieve the fastest way of thawing ice. When they'd finally achieved a pleasing time, the two had raced to see whose power could reach the wall first. Hans won, but Elsa didn't mind; she was sure she could beat him next time.

"Yes," she admitted.

"What?" Anna asked, shaking her head in disbelief. "He could have hurt you!"

Anna had no idea about lessons. She didn't know Elsa was using much of her free time to visit the man behind bars. All she knew was that he'd briefly been moved into the castle at her request, and then a body had shown up.

"I know," Elsa said, not exactly lying. There was always the chance that they would hurt each other. Especially since his emotions were constantly compromised now.

"What on earth were you doing?" Anna asked. Elsa couldn't decide if her sister was angry or upset, but for now she was just plain shocked.

"I... I was..."

Why did I have to tell the truth? Why couldn't I have just kept the secret like I always do? There's no way to win.

Anna shook her head in disbelief. "Elsa... I'm so scared. Please tell me you haven't been talking to him."

I'm so sorry Anna.

Elsa couldn't meet her eye and said nothing. She heard Anna exhale deeply, a slight shake hitching it.

"Whatever he's told you, you can't believe it. There's no rationalizing with that man. Oh, he's a very smooth talker; I'd know."

She stopped, took another breath, and continued calmly. Elsa glanced up at Anna, who was composed in a way that scarily mirrored Ingvalda right down to her hair.

"But you won't be manipulated like that, will you?" she asked. "After all, it's difficult to get to your heart. It took me years to get there, and it was because of an accident. I mean..." Anna laughed a little, but stopped immediately when she saw the guilty, tragic look on her sister's face.

"No," she said quietly, like she couldn't believe it. "No, no. Elsa, please tell me that you're not in love with him."

"You don't understand-" Elsa finally tried to defend herself.

Anna stood up quicker than lightning, her face contorted in absolute horror. "I can't believe you."

Elsa's nightmares were coming true. The fire form of Anna that Hans had conjured up seemed to be speaking through the real Anna's mouth.

"Do you realize how much danger you're in? How much danger you've put us all in? Oh, I guessed when you moved him into the castle that there was something going on, but I'd hoped I was just being silly! I thought my big sister was too smart to fall that!"

Elsa felt like she was going to slide out of the chair and collapse on the floor. "Anna, I'm sorry, I-"

"No," Anna said, closing her eyes and throwing her hands up. "I'm sorry Elsa, but I can't do this anymore. Ever since he arrived, you've just been distant and don't tell me anything. I've tried to think positive, to be supportive and help you through all these crazy things. But I can't help you anymore unless you send that monster away."

Monster.

Oh, she'd used that word.

"He's not a monster," Elsa mumbled.

"Yes he is!" Anna yelled. "Did you forget that he tried to kill both of us? Don't you remember when he pretended to be prince charming just so he could steal the throne? He doesn't love you, Elsa. The last thing he wants is your heart; he only wants your title!"

As if Elsa didn't already have these words run through her mind every waking moment. Every time she felt something warm and happy, she'd be stabbed by the reality that he could very well be playing her like a fiddle.

But he couldn't. Those stories were so real, his emotions so raw. He couldn't possibly fake them.

"I don't know what else to say," Anna grumbled. Elsa had rarely seen her angry, and she hoped she never had to experience anything like it again. "Unless you can get him to stop murdering his family, then-"

"It's not him!" Elsa insisted, but was turned away flat.

"Of course it is! His name is on the bodies! He's bluffing to you!"

"He would never hurt his father."

"What?" Anna asked, eyes squinting. "Nevermind, I don't care. Whatever he's said, whatever he's done to you, please try and forget about it. We need to send him back."

"He hasn't done anything to me," Elsa said, feeling her face grow warm at the mention. "And he may not even feel the same way."

This sobered Anna. "He... he hasn't said he loves you?"

Elsa shook her head. This took Anna by even greater surprise than Elsa's confession had. Suddenly, Hans' game didn't seem so obvious to her. But she wasn't willing to go soft on the subject.

"Just... please. Write the letter so we can send him away as soon as possible. I'm finished with tea," she said, backing away from the table and pushing her chair in.

Elsa had never felt so ashamed in her life. The truth will set you free... unless there's no escape.

"Elsa?" Anna said before she left the room. The queen turned to her sister, whose eyes were deeply saddened, but her face was hard as stone. "If the letter isn't written within the week, I'm going to have to tell Ingvalda."

Elsa nearly choked. "Anna... no," she whispered. "Please. I just need more time."

"I'm sorry, Elsa. But it's for your own good. For Arendelle's good," Anna said. She bit her lip, and not trusting herself to say more, left the room.

Elsa's mouth hung open, her throat tightening as tears welled like a dammed river.

Anna loves you...she tried reassuring herself, but she wasn't so sure about anything anymore.

Elsa stumbled out of her chair, nearly falling on her face. She stood shakily, moving to leave the room as quick as possible. Outside the doorway, she found her legs leading her to a safe place.

For years, Elsa was confined to her room, the dining hall, and the library. The library was almost always empty, and it was a change of pace from her room, so she'd spent many hours whiling away time with the books. It became a second sanctuary, which was why Elsa now stumbled into the library, holding the doorknob for support as her sobs finally caught up with her.

She slammed the door closed. She rest her head against the back, heaving with every tear. The sound of her crying echoed through the emptiness. It hadn't been the first time she'd cried against this door.

Anna was right. Nothing has changed. Nothing ever will. I'm always going to push her away.

"Your... majesty?"

The voice caught her completely by surprise. She whipped around to see a highly distressed Kristoff standing near the lit fireplace. How did I not notice the room was occupied? His face held nothing but concern. "Are... are you okay?"

Elsa hastily wiped the tears from her face with her sleeve in vain. "Yes... yes, I'm fine."

But the damage had already been done. Kristoff stood from the chair and hovered awkwardly, not knowing whether to run to her or leave her be.

"Do... you want to talk about it?"

No.

She'd always faced her problems by running to her room and mourning. Or running to a mountain and building a castle. And nothing ever seemed to get fixed. To hell with it. I've already done so much damage today. What can one more risk do?

"How did you know you loved Anna?" Elsa mumbled, voice warbled by tears.

Kristoff blinked. It was obvious he didn't want to upset her even more.

"Uh... well," he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. Elsa could see how easily Anna chose him. Her sprightliness and his sheepishness clashed magnificently, and in the best way. "I... guess I knew I was in love when I brought her back to Arendelle. When her heart was freezing and the only way to save her- well, we thought the only way- was to take her to her fiance."

Elsa shrunk a little at the mention of Hans.

"But, I knew there wasn't any way it could be, since, you know, bringing her back to her 'true love'," he laughed a little. "I guess it all worked out, though."

Seeing that she wasn't looking any better, his eyes darted to the floor. "Do you want me to leave? Because I-"

"No," Elsa said. "It's okay."

He still stood, the picture of uncomfortable. "Uh, all right." He gestured to the couch, trying to help as much as possible. She nodded gratefully, wiping her face again. Elsa took the few steps that felt like miles to the couch and seated herself.

Kristoff seemed like a lost puppy, searching frantically for a method to make his maybe-soon-to-be-future-sister-in-law happy.

"When... when you felt like you loved Anna... but you knew that she was engaged," Elsa mumbled, "Did you feel like you were doing something wrong? Like you were horrible for feeling that way?"

Kristoff thought about it, biting his lip. "Uh, no. I don't think so. I guess you can't really help who you fall in love with. You just do the best you can for them."

Am I doing what's best for Hans? For Anna?

"I'm sorry, your majesty, but can you tell me what's happened? Is Anna okay?" he asked, nothing but concern on his face.

Elsa nodded. "Anna's fine. She... she probably won't talk to me for a long time," she said, listening helplessly as her voice grew confined due to the closing of her throat again. She couldn't say any more, and felt tears roll down her cheeks.

"I betrayed her," Elsa choked. "I... I fell in love with the one person I shouldn't have."

Kristoff furrowed his brows, trying to guess what she meant. It hit him suddenly, and the force of it blew him back in his seat. "Oh."

"I didn't mean to," Elsa said, tasting the salt on her lips. "I... I never meant... I never wanted to hurt her."

Kristoff's advice seemed to cut off dry as he stared at her. Elsa wondered if she'd ever even see Hans again, or if she'd blab to the whole world about her heart's awful mistake before they packed him away and sent him to wherever Elsa couldn't reach. She wondered if it'd be better that way.

"You know..." Kristoff finally said. "I kind of fell in love with the one thing I shouldn't have too."

Elsa looked up with a sniffle, and Kristoff's eyes were trained on the fire in front of him.

"I've been in the ice business since I was really little. I knew the dangers of it, too. I mean... I guess the whole reason I began was to somehow have mastery over it. Like if I could cut and sell ice, I'd be one up on it. It had tried to beat me before, but I'd have the final say."

Elsa's sobs came less as she listened to him. He turned to her with a sigh.

"I lost my parents to the cold," he said quietly. "They'd gone to town but were caught in a bad storm. The next time I saw them, we were trying to dig them out of the snow to give them a proper funeral."

"I'm... so sorry," Elsa said, heart sinking. She briefly forgot her own troubles and guilt poured in. She knew it wasn't her fault, but it was still death by cold. It could have easily been her own doing.

"Seeing Anna on the fjord wasn't the first time I'd seen someone freeze to death," he mumbled. "But... after they left me to fend for myself, I learned how to harvest ice and sell it. And now- well, up until a year ago- ice has been my life.

"I'll admit that now, I love it. Everything about it is amazing and beautiful and man, I have been so jealous of you," he laughed.

Elsa's own mouth turned up just slightly.

"I, uh, I guess my point is that you can't really ever forget what's pained you. But you can do your best to never let it get the better of you. I don't know... exactly what you're going through. All I can say is don't give into the pain. Do what you find to be the best. If you truly love... this person, then do whatever's the best."

She wasn't quite sure what to make of his speech, but it had been oddly uplifting. She felt her heart swelling just slightly with hope. He made her situation seem less drastic than she'd painted it. And if he knew it was Hans, then he wasn't judging her for it or even acknowledging him, to her great relief.

"Thank you," she said sincerely.

He nodded, relieved. The iceman relaxed in the chair again, still keeping his eyes on the queen.

They sat in silence for a long time, but it was comfortable. They both didn't mind the wordlessness, but enjoyed each other's quiet company. Elsa's mind was bothered by a concept that she'd long held to but never brought to light; she had to do what was best for the ones that she loved.

But what?

Major sister tension; but some bonding from the iceman and ice queen. I'm not gonna lie, I love writing Kristoff; he's got such a big heart. More Hans next chapter, promise. ;)

And big thanks to all of you; your kind words are the best.