A day later...

The dreary day matched her mood perfectly. Seeing as not many people knew him very well, only some of the town had come to pay their last respects. Among these were the familiar faces of the boys in red, George, Ruby, Giles, Emily and Julia.

The town's minister, Clements, was saying last rites as the wooden coffin was lowered into the hole by Brackenreid and Jasper via a sturdy rope. Each of them in turn sprinkled a little wet dirt on the top. Most present started to slowly depart. Soon it was just Emily and Julia.

"He was a good man," said Julia, tiredly. "He had a good heart."

"Yes, we might all be dead if not for him," said Emily. "We owe him a great debt." She squeezed Julia's hand. "I'm sorry, Julia, I know you were close...or as close as you could get."

"If only he had confided in me more, perhaps I would have understood him better. Now I shall never have the chance."

Emily gave her a hug and then they too parted to go their separate ways. The ride home felt like forever to Julia. If it weren't for her stallion, Marcus, knowing the way himself, she probably wouldn't have made it back for hours.

Upon her arrival home, Simon waved to her with his undamaged arm. William had been right. Only a week or so had been needed for the boy to be in high spirits again. If only the same could be said about herself. Aimlessly she walked around the house, doing her best to forget that terrible scene in the saloon, but unable to. Such a traumatic experience would probably stay with her for the rest of her life. Things could have been considerably worse though. At least she had that to be thankful for.

Still she was desperate for a break from reality. Julia found an old bottle of whiskey and collapsed into one of the parlour room chairs. She planned on drinking until she passed out. A significant way into the bottle, there was a noise up above, so subtle as to be nonexistent. Julia dismissed it as nothing. A little while later there was another sound. This time she thought she must be hearing things, that the alcohol had finally started to impair her faculties to a high degree. With the sound of breaking glass however, her senses perked up fully (or as much as the libation allowed) and she put down the bottle and hurriedly went upstairs.

So dizzy was she by the time she made it to the upper landing, that she had to rest a moment, leaning against the balustrade. Julia did not scare easily, but the thought of going into that room right now frightened her to death. She was afraid of what she might do in her current state, and even more terrifying, what she might say.

Her body disregarded orders and pushed the door open. William looked over at her from the bed they had made love in and squinted. Then he smiled weakly and she couldn't help but return it. Throat suddenly constricting, her eyes fell to the main source of disturbance, a broken water glass.

"Sorry," he said groggily. Whether from sleep or heroin, she couldn't say.

"Oh, it was just a cup," she said, twiddling her horse necklace nervously. "I've many more where that came from."

"No," he replied, gazing at her intently, "I am sorry I made you worry."

Was she that transparent?

She looked away and swayed a bit, steadying herself against the door frame. Damn, why did I drink so much?

"Are you all right, Julia?"

Am I all right? she thought with a snort. You are the one who was shot! Who almost joined John in the ground!

Cautiously, almost shyly, she glanced back to see he was staring at her concernedly. Her mouth twitched and then despite her best efforts she started to bawl and hurried over to his side. She crawled into the small bed beside him and buried her face in his neck, doing her damnedest to release all the pain of the last day, and arguably her entire life. He held her awkwardly given his inability to move much and given the location of his tender wound.

Eventually she calmed down enough for coherent conversation.

"Forgive me for such a pitiful display," she explained, attempting to leave before she could embarrass herself further, if such a thing were even possible.

His hold on her shoulder was surprisingly strong considering his condition. William turned her face so that they were mere inches from each other. All she saw there was kindness and warmth, no judgement whatsoever for losing control so completely.

"Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness, Julia. You have nothing to be ashamed about. If anything, I am envious of your ability to shed tears. I haven't cried since my mother died. I was fifteen."

Swept up in his understanding, she took his face in her hands and kissed him then. Nothing like the passion of their night together. Just a simple token of her affection.

He grinned wearily and said, "Such welcoming hospitality here at the Ogden ranch."

Julia rolled her eyes and then because he was so adorable looking in that moment, kissed him again. She sighed contentedly and just laid her head beside his. Silently they stayed like this, and just when she felt herself drifting off for the first time in over twenty-four hours he said, "Julia, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"Yes?" she said somewhat breathlessly.

"What's the significance of your necklace...it seems to mean a great deal to you."

"Oh..." she said, fiddling with it some more. "My mother gave it to me before she died. Her true love gave it to her."

"You mean your father? Lionel?"

"No, she confessed to me before she died that she had loved another. Passionately and without restraint. But he was killed during the Mexican-American War and out of necessity she was forced to marry another."

He was quiet for so long that she turned to face him, thinking he had fallen asleep. William was studying her, as if he were searching her face for the answers to questions that didn't exist.

"Julia, why did you come all the way out here to Calgary? I know it was not simply to avoid wearing a corset. Did your father have something to do with it?"

"Yes, indeed," she admitted, surprised at how astute his guess was. "We have never gotten along very well, but more than that, he was continuously plying me with suitors, claiming if I were to marry I would finally start acting like a proper lady, the way my mother would have wanted me to behave." Her eyes burned with an inner fire. "The man never really knew her at all. She told me countless times I should never try to be anything other than I am, or attempt to please people simply because it is expected of me."

"Your mother reminds me of my own. She would never put up with my father's malarky." He looked at her seriously. "Is your father's misguided wisdom the reason you refused to admit you had feelings for me?" Rather taken aback at this revelation she just stared at him, unable to respond. "Marriage only changes a person for the worse if they let it. Our mothers were proof of that."

"What are you saying, William?" she said a little breathlessly again.

"I'm saying, Julia, that I would never try to change a single thing about you."

Did anyone actually think I had killed him off? I'm curious.

And that's about it for me folks. Glad I managed to get through this one. It was looking pretty iffy there for a bit.

Anyway, here's hoping Murdoch's mentor in tonight's ep will smack some sense into him and he'll start showing some actual passion towards his wife.

Hopefully it'll be something like this: "Stop acting the fool boy! I've been celibate for 60 years! I need to live vicariously through you!" :p