OUR LIVES, CHAPTER 18: "AT THE CLOSING OF THE YEAR"
By The Binary Alchemist, 2012
If I cannot bring you comfort, then at least I bring you hopeFor nothing is more precious than the time we have—and so
We all must learn from our misfortunes
Count the blessings that are real
Let the bells ring out for Solstice at the closing of the year
Let the bells ring out for Solstice…at the closing of the year…*
"Good evening, Central! I don't know if you've looked out the window this morning but it's a beautiful sight, isn't it, Eleanor? Just look at that snow! It's going to be a wonderful Solstice for the children of Central, isn't it?"
"It certainly is, Frank! And everyone here at Radio Capital wishes you all a safe and happy Solstice, from our family to yours. And now, the headlines at the top of the hour:
"Former First Lady Anna Bradley was hospitalized late yesterday afternoon with what has been reported to be chest pains and exhaustion. Surgeon General Owen Knox has stated that Mrs. Bradley is in good condition and resting comfortably, adding that if her condition continues to improve she will be released after a few days of observation…"
###
Roy jerked his head in the direction of the commotion in the old potting shed in the back garden. Sounded like wood splintering, punctuated with occasional shouts from Izumi and yelps of pain from her grandson. Ed was getting that wild-hair-impulse look n his eyes and was winding a warm scarf around his neck and going for his jacket. Intervention—especially if Izumi was pounding some common sense into a stubborn Elric male of any generation-was risky business. "He won't thank you."
Ed hesitated. Hell, if he'd been getting the crap knocked out of him by Teacher, would he have thanked Hohenheim for barging in and trying to stop her? If he was honest with himself, he'd have admitted it would have been mortifying and he'd have shouted for the old bastard to get the hell out and taken his licks like a man—that is, if he didn't take a couple of swings at Hohenheim himself.
Parenthood, however, had nothing to do with logic.
Ed shrugged on his jacket. "He's my kid, Roy."
"He's my son, too."
Something in the tone of those words went straight to Ed's heart. He grinned a little. "Yeah. So you get to clean up what's left of me after both of them kick my ass, okay?"
###
"Several hundred peaceful protestors have gathered on the steps of Parliament this morning in support of the 'Government Of The People' movement that is gaining in popularity in the past month. Presidential hopeful Donal Samuelson stated this morning that this is an optimistic sign that the people of Amestris are sending a strong message to the Mustang administration that the country is ready to break ties with its past as a military state and are looking to the civilian sector for new leadership.
"And in entertainment news, well-known celebrity biographer and children's author Kelley Winchell has signed a lucrative book deal with Odyssey Press, ending her longtime affiliation with Dickon and Howe and Sons. Kelley denies that this was in response to the release of her children's book , "Buckety Buckety the Big Brown Bear Has Tea With Wibbles the Wolf" from a manuscript she had submitted in her teens. Dickon and Howe retain all rights to Miss Kelley's previous best-sellers, as well as a trio of previously unreleased volumes in the "Buckety Buckety" series. The release of her most recent work of nonfiction, 'Fire and Vice', a biography of President Roy Mustang, has been postponed indefinitely due to the settlement with Dickon and Howe and Sons.
"In sports, the Central Green Sox will begin spring training early this-"
Nina Elric's elegantly coiffed head turned towards the radio behind the bar in Chris Mustang's restaurant, her attention riveted by the news broadcast. In a rare display of ebullient good spirits, Nina jumped off her bar stool with a whoop of joy, hugged Rebecca and Ruby, kissed Madame Christmas on the cheek and just stopped herself short of ordering a round of drinks for the house—which, in Mustang's establishment, would have blown her teacher's bonus for the next two Solstices. "We did it!" she shouted triumphantly. "We did it! We-"
She stopped dead in her tracks. Rebecca and Ruby were staring at her. So was Madame Christmas, whose cat-green eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Ooops." Nina sat down abruptly, smoothing her floor-length skirts and straightening her small rimless spectacles. "Never mind. Carry on."
"Carry on?" Chris Mustang growled. "What have you been up to, kid?"
Ruby took a certain mildly spiteful pleasure at the young woman's flustered reaction. She liked Nina, actually. Her sense of fashion was peculiar as hell but she was smart, she was kind and she could take a breath without swearing, unlike her father. But she was a true Elric in that she attracted trouble the way her brother's tinkering experiments attracted fire trucks and insurance claims adjusters. She decided to risk bluffing Nina. It always worked so well with her father and brother. "You might as well tell her, Nina," Ruby advised with a look of convincing resignation. "Maes already spilled the beans to me."
Invisible sparks seemed to crackle in Nina Elric's aura. "I'll kill him," she growled
The old woman's rings cut into Nina's hand in a tight grip the younger woman couldn't squirm out of if she tried. "In my office. Now."
"But Aunt Chris—"
"You think you're not too big to spank? Try me."
If Nina had had any idea what her father and stepfather had done to one another on the very chaise she was sitting on in Room 5, she'd have leaped off the crimson velvet upholstery and changed her skirts immediately. Now that she'd confided the truth to Aunt Chris she was too scared to move an eyelash.
Aunt Chris' eyes weren't melting with warmth—but that was par for the course. When she was very, very little only the reassurances from Poppy and Daddy could convince her that the gimlet-eyed ex-madam was not going to eat her. Eventually, she had come to love the old woman dearly for what she was, but unlike her mother or Aunt Gracia or her beloved Nana 'Zumi, Aunt Chris wasn't the hug-and-kiss-it-better type. As a young adult she had come to appreciate Chris Mustang's savvy and dead-on accurate judgment calls on people and situations—a gift she had transferred to her adopted son. The old woman smoked like a chimney, swore like a Drachman sailor, knew where all the bodies were buried and had absolutely no tolerance for bullshit or bullshitters. "You think I'm a scary old broad?" she would cackle. "Kid, if you knew the half of it you'd pee yourself and run for the hills. But—" she would add, flicking her cigarette for emphasis, "—just remember, you're family. I've got your back."
But just at this moment, Chris Mustang had her back up and was, as Uncle Jean would put it, 'about to open up a can of red-hot Whoopass" on Roy's beloved step-child. The green eyes were hot with anger and the only thing that kept a manicured hand from slapping the crap out of the young Elric's lovely face was a lifetime of self-control and her knowledge that Roy-Boy would never forgive her if she did.
"I can see Maes pulling a stunt like this," she rasped, pulling hard on her filter tip and blowing a stream of blue smoke above her head as she bawled the girl out. "I expect him to act like an idiot-he's a male. But I always figured you to be the one with some common sense…at least I did up until now." She stabbed out her smoke in a gilded ash tray and jammed another between her rouged lips, snapping her lighter open and puffing angrily before continuing. Nina stifled the urge to cough; the smoke was making her eyes water. "You got any idea how much damage you could do to Roy's career? All he's worked for, sacrificed for?" The newly lit cigarette was waiving inches from Nina's nose now. ""So some dumb broad with the morals of a rattlesnake writes a book that's 'sposed to blow the lid off the shit that went down on The Promised Day. You think the government doesn't have some idea why every goddamn person in this country was killed that day-or why we're all alive? The public was told some rogue alchemists and the military tried to overthrow the government and managed to kill Bradley and that brat Selim. Breda and his boys made Roy look like the savior of the nation over the radio and Anna Bradley hammered the last nail in to make the deal secure. Hell, not even that bastard Edison making Gracia go on the radio and accuse Roy of being an ambitious, underhanded, backstabbing cocksucker, plotting to take Bradley down—which he has been, if ya wanna get absolutely technical about it—could turn the people against him.
"Now, I don't like this whole 'Government OF The People' bullcrap worth a damn, but Roy made a promise to himself and to Ed and to the people that he would give 'em a democracy and that's the price you pay, kid. He's gonna be opposed, and those muckrakers are gonna find the skeletons in the closet-you think Roy doesn't know what might happen? That every manipulation and underhanded deed and scheme that Roy played against Bradley is gonna be dragged to the surface? He knows, kid! And I'll tell you this: he hated that bastard enough that he'd have sucked every cock in Bradley's cabinet if he had thought it would bring him one step closer to tearing that playhouse down. Would have—and I'd have done it too. We owe our goddamn lives to my boy—my boy and your family.
"And THEN, you snot-nosed little know-it-all, you and your idiot brother decide to sabotage the printer's office in hopes that you could stop Fire And Vice from coming out—you get all cute and dress up in your little costumes and snoop around—you suck at that, by the way. You should have asked me or one of my girls to do it—and ruin the printing rolls and oh—since you couldn't leave well enough alone—you dig out all those 'Buckety Buckety' manuscripts, doctor them up and leave 'em where the publishers can find them-ohhh….you thought you were so goddamn cute and clever, didn't you? Well," the old woman was wheezing now with the exertion of her sustained rant, "all you did was made that slut Winchell a piss-pot full of money-and if anybody finds out what you did it will look like Roy put you up to it. They could impeach him for that kind of shit—or didn't that thought ever cross your mind, missy?"
Something very cold clutched Nina's insides and she paled visibly. "I-im—impeach?"
"Are you deaf as well as stupid and selfish? Damn right, kid. I said impeach. You want me to get you a dictionary or do I have to explain impeachment to you in words of two syllables or less so you can understand what the hell you did to try and wreck everything Roy has done to save this goddamn country?"
Nina Elric did not weep often. She was not very good at it and she made odd, rusty choking noises into the handkerchief Aunt Chris thrust at her, shoulders shaking violently. At long last the old lady patted her on the shoulder. "All right, all right…knock it off, kid," she said, not unkindly. "If you want to learn the intelligence game, you and your idiot brother need to talk to somebody who knows where to go and who to blow." One corner of Chris' mouth lifted; it was very nearly a smile. "You were just trying to help. I get it. Promise me you won't do anything else stupid without talkin' to me first—and that goes for Maes too."
Nina blew her nose and nodded miserably. "All right. Go wash your face, girl. Pull yourself together and I'll get Ruby to run you home."
###
Whiteness was swirling around the windows and through the cracks in the walls he could feel an unpleasant draft.
The shattered crockery was disposed of, shards swept away along with the broken bits of the ginger house and spilled candies. The teapot had been rinsed, dried and put away. They would not be needing it for awhile. However, the table was set with fresh linens in the event of callers, and there were enough tea cakes and biscuits for hospitality should the President come calling, as Collins expected.
His hand must not tremble, he reminded himself as he straightened the potted plants by the front door that Maes had tumbled over. It was a mercy that the steps had not been iced over yet, or he would have been hurt much worse when Collins shoved him backwards out the front door and down the steps, slamming the door behind him.
A finger laid discreetly aside his cheek caught a single salty drop. I've ruined everything.
They had taken Selim away in the ambulance, Collins following behind, driving Mrs. Bradley who was pale and dizzy and disoriented. Selim had been injected with a sedative and was asleep now, he had been told, after having been restrained for fear he would harm himself. Mrs. Bradley had been admitted for observation for a few days. He had made discreet inquiries and was told that Maes Elric had not been admitted for treatment—at least not today. "Depends on what he gets up to over the Solstice," and orderly told him good-naturedly. "I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't turn up with a broken finger or needing something stitched up or a chemical burn of some sort. He's the closest thing our emergency triage has to a regular visitor."
So…no broken bones. Thank goodness. But every time he replayed the moment in his mind he felt sick. "I….I threw him out. I hit him. What in the world was I thinking?"
And then the President would come. President Roy Mustang, the man he had served so long and, he hoped, so well. If it had not been for the patronage of President Mustang and his aunt Collins with still be Dogshit Davy, living off the mean streets, with his mother long gone and his father long dead. He owed his life to the Mustangs, and all the President had ever asked him to do was look after Anna Bradley and her strange, simple-minded son Selim. He had failed, failed utterly and there was nothing for it but to call His Excellency and report—if Maes hadn't told on him already, coming home bruised from head to foot and unable to forgive being manhandled and chucked out—especially after spending a blissful hour buried inside the young butler. I can still smell Maes on my skin, Collins groaned inwardly. I can taste him. His…he's still…in…me. He'll be done with me for nearly breaking his neck. There was an awful wrench in his guts over that loss and his heart began to hammer from the stress of it all.
In one horrible afternoon he had failed his mission, he had been unable to care for his employer, Selim had seemingly lost his mind and on top of that, Collins had most certainly lost his best friend and lover. After this catastrophe, even Miss Nina and kind Miss Elycia would be done with him. Only one thought scared him worse than being questioned by the President:
"Mr. Sebastian will have my head for this!"
###
Judging from the racket, it sounded like Maes was ducking pretty well. Ed was still reasonably sure that Izumi had landed a few good wallops on her grandson, hopefully without using any of the pitchforks or rakes hanging on the walls nearby.
"You INGRATE!" CRASH! "You ungrateful little monster!" CRAAAACKKK! "Don't you EVER, EVER let me hear you talk like that about your mother again!" Something splintered and one of Izumi's slip-on sandals went flying. Judging from the loud OOOFFF that followed, the other shoe had hit home somewhere in his son's midsection.
"Screw this, he's a grownup now. Maybe he mouthed off about Winry, but that's for me to handle, not Teacher. This isn't alchemy student crap. She has no right-"
"-she may not be married to your father anymore but—"
"Father? I wish to hell he WAS my father!"
###
"This is not your fault, Collins."
What was it about young men and women? Always so eager to blame themselves for things they have no control over. "I wasn't that idiotic when I was their age," Roy assured himself, pouring a splash of brandy in his snifter, pausing to savor its heady aroma. "Flogging myself over things I couldn't change…" He shook his head, and ignored that still, small voice of conscience that poked at him, eager to remind him of the endless sleepless nights spent wallowing in guilt over the war, over Hughes, over…over everything.
Collins had been scared half to death but he had called Roy anyway. Good. That kid has proved his worth time and time again. He had no idea that Dr. Knox had already told me everything. "You attempted to stop Maes. He had no way of knowing that Selim has been shielded from any references to alchemy the whole of his life. Selim was damaged as a result of a failed alchemic transmutation attempt during the coup attempt. Mrs. Bradley adopted him after learning her own son and husband had been killed. There is no guessing what Selim remembers, if anything. Point is, you are not to blame and neither is Maes. And, " he added wryly, "judging from the way you handled events at the hospital, I am certain Sebastian will find no fault in your service….or," he was chuckling now, "let's just say I'll make certain Sebastian finds no fault."
"Th-thank you, Your Excellency!"
"Oh—and by the way, I wouldn't be to concerned about my son. He's having a little talk with his alchemy teacher. She's not happy with him. Any bruises he might have gotten from you in the performance of your duties will be completely forgotten by the time she gets done with him…"
###
Maes glanced over his shoulder. Edward Elric, the man who had raised him, loved him, guided him and been his hero the whole of his young life, made a wordless gasp of astonishment as he stood there, framed by the splintered remains of the potting shed door.
Nobody moved.
Eventually, Edward stepped through the hole Izumi had kicked through and stepped to the young man's side. Maes was on his knees now, sporting a number of impressive contusions and bleeding slightly from a scrape over one eyebrow. His handsome features were bunched up into a knot of misery and his cheeks were wet with tears.
Edward knelt beside him. "What did you say?"
"I…I said…I wish to hell you really were my father!"
"Mmmm." One gloved hand gently ruffled the tangled mane of gold that was too blonde to have come from his mother's side. He glanced around at the rubbish and dirt around him. "What did you do, knock his brains out? I'm pretty sure he had some before you dragged him in here." He feigned a comical search, then shrugged helplessly. "Oh well, I bet your sister can spare some. She won't even miss them. C'mon," he pulled his son to his feet. "Let's get you cleaned up and stitched up and I'm sure you'll start talking sense once we get some coffee into you-"
Maes drew away from his father, shaking his head. "It's true, isn't it? All these years…all these years…everybody's been lying to me….and I've been walking around all this time like an idiot, thinking that you…you were…"
Izumi frowned. "Maes, what in the world-"
Ed chimed in after her. "Where in the hell did-"
"I heard them! I saw them!" Mae's face was flushed and his topaz eyes were wild with barely suppressed rage. "She…she said…goddamn it!"
"Maes! Don't swear!"
Ed glared at his sensei. "Lay off the kid." His hands rested on his son's shoulders, and the sorrow in his boy's face was terrible to see. "There's nothing you can't tell me, Maes." His voice was quiet and encouraging. "Nothing you say is going to be worse than the way this is hurting you. Talk to me."
"She said….she loved him. Uncle Al….she said…she said to him, and he was crying and saying 'no, no'…." Maes closed his eyes. "she said…she'd loved Uncle Al all along…and that he must never know the truth…that it would break his heart if he ever found out…but she'd kept it bottled up inside—"
"And you thought that she was talking about you?" Ed stared in amazement at Izumi. "Kids! Geeze! They think the whole world revolves around them and then beat themselves up over it!"
"You did at his age," Izumi answered calmly. "You were worse."
Ed ignored her. "Son…listen. Listen. She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about Pitt-and she was talking out her ass." He pressed down on Maes' shoulders until he sat down on the toolbox, badly dented from his battle with his grandmother. "Your mom…that whole business with her…y'know…feeling…I don't know…stuff…for your uncle. She went through a phase after we split, before Uncle Pitt went up to see her in Rush Valley. Al was—shit, you have no idea how famous he was back then. All over the papers and stuff. I even think there was Alphonse the Aeronaut toilet paper there for awhile, heh heh…" It was a lame joke. Thankfully Maes was too miserable to notice. "Anyway, your mom got all kinda caught up in the image, like she'd never seen Al before. And that was hard for Al. He really had feelings for your mom and she never noticed until it was too late."
"He's right," Izumi told her grandson, her anger gone in a flash. "Alphonse knew that it wouldn't work, that the same things that drove Winry and Edward apart would eventually come between them, too, if they tried to have a life together. Then Pitt came back into her life for the first time since they were in school. He loved your mother then. He loves her now. She loves him too, but grief has made her forget that for awhile. She'll be all right, Maes. You will be too."
"But…Uncle Al could still be-?"
Ed suddenly colored right up to his hairline. "Not a chance."
'How do you know?" Maes demanded.
"Because…welll…ah…" Edward hadn't looked this embarrassed since the time he had to explain to a five year old Maes why he was 'kissing Uncle Roy's pee-pee' when the child walked in on them one night after a bad dream. "I mean…Uncle Al was at the wedding-but he left on the train to East City right after the wedding supper and was gone for two years in Xing…and I…well…I know for a…for a fact that your…your mom was…she…she was…ah…oh, damn it! SHE WAS AS IGNORANT AS I WAS! Are you satisfied, goddamn it? It was a total disaster but we…figured it out…enough…to make you." Ed shuddered as if the memory was one he dreaded. "You're MINE, kid. Maybe you got the rough end of the deal getting stuck with me, but the one damn good thing I did right in my life was make you and your sister. And that's the same reason, "he added gently, "not to be mad at your mom. She's human, son. And on the scale of life fuck-ups, her having a crush on my brother is chicken-feed compared to me transmuting my dead mother and turning my brother into a blood splat inside a suit of animated armor. She'll get over it—so you get over it, okay?"
Damn, he looked so young. It wrenched Ed's heart to see his son so upset. Awkwardly, impulsively, he pulled Maes into a bear hug. "And you know what, knucklehead?" he whispered urgently, "if—and I mean by some weird twist of fate—if you actually were fathered by another man…you know what? He'd have to fight me for you. Nobody's gonna take you or Nina away from me. You got that?"
Izumi stepped quickly to Ed's side, winding her arms around her boys, blinking back tears of her own, so proud of how Edward had fought his own innate aloofness to become a father any son would be proud of.
"Trisha," she offered a silent thanksgiving in her heart as she laid her cheek against Edward's hair, "you did well….you did well indeed."
###
"Hey."
"Hey."
"How's the kid?"
Ed poured himself a brandy and leaned against the tall man sitting on the hearth, savoring the warmth. "Raiding the pantry with his sister. Don't blame me if Solstice dinner ends up being bread and cheese and sausage."
"I've had worse."
"Me too."
A pause. "Aunt Chris went pretty hard on Nina."
"Huh! Least she didn't break a hoe handle over her head. What kind of trouble did she get into this time?"
Roy smiled a little. "Same sort of crazy thing you'd have done. She and Maes have been chewed out enough for one day."
A sharp elbow dug in Roy's side. "You're not going to tell me."
"Would if I were worried about it." He took a sip. "If it gets to be a problem we'll…we'll deal with it."
The clock struck midnight. "Happy Solstice."
"You too." Roy turned and reached towards the fireplace. "Now…let me see if this works…"
"Huh?
"Something I've been experimenting with." Scarred palms slapped together and a ring of pearly smoke began to form above the smoldering coals.
Ed was impressed. "Neat trick. We should hire you out to do children's parties."
"Shut up." Carefully manipulating the air currents, Roy shaped the smoke ring into a band. "Give me your hand."
The band of smoke moved down Ed's ring finger, shimmering briefly in the firelight. "Short and sweet," Roy told him quietly. "Whatever's mine is yours, including my life. Whatever happens, I've got your back. No half lives. No half promises. All or nothing-as long as you want me."
"That goes for me too," Ed answered as their hands clasped. "Is that it?"
"That's all it needs to be. We'll make it legal, of course. But as far as I'm concerned, it's a done deal, Edward. Now," he rose and grinned down at his new husband. "Let's go take a bath, shall we?"
….TO BE CONTINUED…..
* lyrics adapted from "At The Closing Of The Year" by Hans Zimmer and Trevor Horn