Once again, I apologize for the long wait. And I sincerely thank everyone for their comments and reviews. Without them, I might not have been able to get this far.

Chapter 15

Disclaimer: If you haven't seen it by now...I don't know where you've been.

"Stay out of Gotham City."

Those words echoed in Derek's mind...there was so much fear behind them. Exactly what had this 'Erik' done to Raven? How was he able to illicit such a fearful response?

The young man turned and stared out the window, taking in the vast and seemingly endless ocean. It wasn't like he wanted to decline her request...hell, he's do anything to settle down with a respectable job...one that wasn't linked in any way to his father's company.

Derek had his dreams and ambitions. He wanted to invent something really different and unique like Steve Jobs or work in the government like Ben Bernanke. Maybe he'd settle down and marry eventually...and probably have a kid or two. Or he'd start playing his guitar more often. Perhaps he could start a band with his friend Natalie and go around town playing songs at charity events. Whatever he did, it would be simple, uncomplicated and something notable in society. He'd leave his mark in history and die with no regrets.

It was a pleasant aspiration, a noteworthy dream that lingered with him in the dreary mornings. However reality was a harsh teacher and in his reality, he was a glorified thief working undercover for a league of meta-humans and aliens.

Perhaps a better term was doing their dirty work. Superman had a reputation...he couldn't go around stealing and tracking down gang bangers and drug traffickers. So Derek stole for them...he traded information about underground activities in exchange for a clean police record.

Of course he wouldn't complain. Derek hated to complain. He was quite content living in his expensive condo paid for by his relatives and taking care of his thirteen year old cousin from Quebec. And working in his father's investment firm wasn't really that annoying...it wasn't worth raising a fuss.

What he hated most was the idea of being told to commit crimes by those who 'upheld' the law. What was it about the Justice League that gave them the permission to blackmail someone into committing felonies...while it was a crime for the mafia lords to issue orders?

Why was it OK for Robin to make that suit and steal...in the guise of finding Slade Wilson? Why was Red X branded a villain and a threat to society...but Robin was merely ignored? Weren't they both guilty of committing theft?

"Princess, what you ask of me is...easier said than done." Conflict and confusion was written clearly across his face. Logic told him to refuse her requests, to walk out of this place and forget everything she had said and warned about. Logic told him that it wasn't worth it.

But Derek was finding it difficult to listen to reason these days. His judgement had long since been clouded by his 'obsession' with Raven. Obsession would be a good word, considering as he'd lost precious hours of sleep 'cause of it.

"Why?" Her voice was quiet but harsh. He didn't need to look to know that her slender eyebrows were turned down in disappointment and that her eyes were flashing with irritation. Raven was someone who hated it when things didn't go her way. It was a childish and at times overbearing habit. Derek wasn't sure whether to blame the teen, or the mother.

Derek placed his head against the cold glass window, wondering how the ocean could have turned from a calm blue to a raging depressing gray color. Wasn't it only a few hours ago when the sun was shining brightly? Why does the ocean seem to mirror his fucked up life? "Raven, I can't just stop stealing...I'm under a contract. What you ask...cannot be done." He was surprised to hear Raven laugh.

"Contract, he says." She chuckled, her voice sounding strangely malicious and sarcastic. "Is a contract more important than your life? Will you throw everything away for the sake of some contract?"

Fists slammed against the wall, and the pictures hanging there rattled precariously. Derek turned, his golden eyes smoldering. "Breaking that fucking contract will be the end of my life! You think I go around stealing all that shit 'cause I want too? You think I would risk life just to fuck around with Bird Brain and the police! Just who the fuck do you think I am!"

Derek wasn't expecting to see Raven standing there, with tears dripping down her face. Derek hated seeing people cry...and he hated himself for making Raven cry. He shouldn't have lost his temper...it was the last thing he wanted to do. But Derek felt trapped, cornered in by everything and everyone. His shaking hands gripped his hair in frustration. Derek was lost...utterly lost and confused.

oOoOo

Raven clenched her fists, trying in vain to stop the tears from falling. But it was useless, she couldn't go on like this...she couldn't bear to see yet another person suffer because of her actions. She alone was to blame for the whole situation with Erik...she knew all the atrocities that he had committed, how many people he had killed simply out of spite and boredom.

Raven was to blame for everything...she shouldn't have run away. Because of her cowardice, a very good friend had gone missing and perhaps was dead. She was the one who was to blame for Angel's motherless state, as well as Gabriel's suffering.

Would she also be blamed for Derek's death? Would she have to yet again watch someone die because of her stupid and selfish actions? Will she ever find peace? Will she ever be forgiven?

Voices screamed in Raven's mind...her emotions were spinning out of control. Were these feelings even hers? Why was she so...confused and agitated? Why was she like this? Why did she feel that if something happened to Derek, she wouldn't be able to live with herself? Why was she feeling this way about a guy she barely knew?

The sorceress sank to her knees clutching her chest in anguish. "I can't let anything happen to you, Derek! I'm sorry for pissing you off, but I just can't live with myself knowing that you could be killed 'cause of me!" She stared at the floor, not wanting to look into his angry golden eyes.

They frightened her...and she couldn't help but wonder if they were even human eyes. When he smiled, his eyes twinkled with cat-like mischief, and when he was sad they glittered with inhuman sorrow. Sometimes when Derek stared thoughtfully into the distance, Raven couldn't help but feel that his eyes were like that of a soul reaper...or an angel of death.

Now that he was angry...they burned with hatred. His golden eyes smoldered, and Raven couldn't help but think of her father and the fires of hell. Was he able to sense ghosts and spirits? Was this the cause for his strange intuition? There had been many times when Derek had seen past her blank facade...something that not even Robin was able to accomplish despite them being bonded together.

"Raven...Rae, get up. Raven, d-don't be like that. D-don't kneel in front of me like that..." His voice trailed off as he yanked the sorceress from the ground and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Don't do something like that again. I can't stand such things..."

Azar, why did he have to smell like chocolate too? Why was everything about Derek so chocolaty and warm? Raven bit her lip, no longer caring about her tears. Stupid emotions. Stupid chocolate addiction. Damn you, Arella.

oOoOo

Derek didn't know how long he had stood there, arms wrapped tightly against Raven's small frame as she wept silently. He wanted to say something...anything to make her stop crying. But his mind had long since emptied of any words. All he could do, to his horror and annoyance was stand there and inhale the soft peachy scent as he ran his fingers through Raven's dark wavy hair.

Somehow, he had forgotten all about his frustrating situation all his scrambled emotions and feelings were calmed when Raven was in his arms. It wasn't like he hadn't hugged her before...so why was this time different? Why did he feel so complete?

"Derek, sometimes...you remind me of Robin Hood. You steal from the rich and give to the poor. In my mind...that's what you are. But, I just can't picture you in green." The sorceress mumbled softly, her head still buried in his dark screen tee shirt.

He couldn't help but laugh at her statement. Why Robin Hood? Green just wasn't his color. "What are you getting at?"

She shrugged. "The Justice League is blackmailing you, aren't they? The Red X that's just stealing for fun and the Red X stealing on business is different. I don't know what it is they have against you...but at least promise that you'll be careful. Promise me that if you end up going to Gotham, Bruce knows what I told you. He'll help you...I know he will."

A tired sigh escaped the young man's lips. She was really worried...that much he could tell. "I'll promise, but tell me...why are you so worried? Why-" He was cut off when Raven's hand covered his mouth. His golden eyes stared intently into the teenager's face, wondering why she looked so confused and lost.

"It's hard to explain. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. But sometimes, when you're gone...I feel empty and incomplete. It's like...living with no air." She smiled sadly. "It's absurd so you don't have to trouble yourself-"

"Princess, that's called love." Perhaps he was speaking more to himself than to her. Somehow, those words mirrored his thoughts. There were times when he found himself drawn back to that park...hoping that she would bump into him once more.

She often filled his dreams and he would wake with a painful longing in his chest. Wasn't he supposed to be the mature one? He wasn't a lovesick teenager anymore...he was twenty-four for crying out loud!

Yes, Derek was one obsessed man...to the point where he would sneak into her room sometimes in the night, just to get a glimpse of her sleeping face. Did she notice...maybe. He just didn't have the heart to care anymore. But he couldn't help that strange feeling. Feeling as if he couldn't breathe when she was gone.

"Love. I had always confused love with lust. But they're completely different, aren't they? How intriguing." Raven's purple eyes were shining brightly, as if she had discovered a pot of gold. Maybe in her mind...love was really that important.

Derek was silent. There really wasn't really anything left to say. He kissed her softly, reveling in the peachy taste of her lips. He was done holding back.

Ice. The ice was melting, dripping down her face and stinging her eyes. Cold and painful. She blinked, letting the water run down her cheeks and soak into the dark pink pillow case. Was this how Robin felt right now? Was he as cold as this ice? Emerald eyes stared up at the ceiling...noting the strange designs in the light pink paint.

If you looked carefully, the outline of a turkey would crop up...sometimes an angry, glaring face. Is this what they mean by 'in the eye of the beholder'? People often saw different things...depending on their perception. The sky could be 'baby blue' or just 'sky blue'...the whitewashed fences could be 'egg shell white' or 'off white'.

What did she look like in Robin's eyes?

Was she a cold blooded murderer...or someone who was deceived by another person's ramblings? What did Raven think? No doubt the sorceress saw her as a wicked, heartless bitch who only looks after herself.

Wait, maybe that's the reverse...Raven's the wicked, heartless bitch. Raven's the bad one, the one who sleeps around and commits immoral acts. Raven is the heartless, manipulative and conniving bitch who broke Robin's heart first. Yes, Raven is the evil one...not me.

The fan in her room whirred softly, quietly ruffling the papers and melting any ice that had been placed on the stitches. The pillow case beneath her head was already wet...and any moisture left was being soaked up by her long luscious hair.

A sigh escaped the alien's parched lips. Raven had been really angry...but it was a rage that was shrouded in mystery. Why was Raven so angry at that statement? Did her enraged response mean that Robin and Raven really had been getting into nasty fights? How could such a thing have happened...without any bruises or injuries to display?

Perhaps too much thought was going into this incident. It was always easier to think that Raven simply couldn't control her temper...rather than to postulate about any possible reasons.

Raven was someone that didn't need reason to act...she just followed her instincts, however base they may be. Either way, speculating about Raven didn't really solve any of her problems. Right now, Robin was the only one that she should be worrying about.

Emerald eyes blinked as water stung them once more. Why is Robin angry at me? What exactly did I do that Raven hasn't done? Wasn't it for the best that the unborn child be sacrificed? I only did it out of love for Robin...nothing more.

Don't they say that 'love conquers all'? I should be forgiven, since it was done in love's name.

So why am I being punished? Why am I receiving all the blame? What about Speedy...it wasn't like I got pregnant alone. Don't they always say, 'it take 'two to tango'? What is he doing to atone for his sin?

Shouldn't he be tossed in the fire along with me? Why is Robin blaming me? Speedy was the one who didn't want the child...he was the one who told me to abort the baby.

Starfire sat up, staring at her closet intensely. Speedy. This was all his fault. He was the one that seduced me..he was the one that got me pregnant. Why isn't Robin blaming him? Why can't Robin realize that Speedy is the evil one? Speedy is the one that got between our love...

Yes, I am innocent. I have done nothing wrong. Everything that happened was because of Speedy...and once Robin realizes this, he will return to me. Yes, he will return, because I am innocent.

"Derek, can I ask you something." Raven's soft voice echoed quietly in the empty room. Argent had probably disappeared a long time ago.

"Shoot." He stared up at her, up since his head was in her lap. They were on the bed, now with Raven leaning against the headboard and running her hands through his now extremely long hair. He really needed a hair cut...why'd he put it off? It wouldn't look good when he went back to work again. They'd probably label him as a vagabond.

"Why is it that when you walk up the stairs, you skip every thirteenth one?" Her voice was laced with curiosity and perhaps a tinge of amusement? Maybe he was imagining it. Then again, perhaps she did find the whole thing funny.

Isn't it odd how differently people view things? There are people that can laugh and brush things off, can forget they even happened. And then there are those poor souls who can't just let go...who carry their secrets and their tragedies to the grave.

Why was he so pitiful? Why couldn't he forget that night? Sure his strange tendencies might seem funny to her...but to him it was an incurable habit. It wasn't like he had a phobia or anything. Derek had long since come to terms with his strange 'ability'. Could it even be called an ability? Wasn't 'curse' a better description?

But there was just something about it that seemed...impossible to explain. How could he explain to someone that every time his feet landed on those steps, the voices came back. The screams, the anguished cries...and the ghosts. How could he explain that he was being haunted by people he knew nothing about?

Not, people but ghosts. Ghosts that he happened to stumble upon many years ago? Who would believe him? Who would believe what he saw in that abandoned laboratory? His own friends that were there that night, didn't believe him. To this day, those same friends still joked about what had happened. 'He was hallucinating' they said. 'No one was in the abandoned lab anymore' they said.

Of course they didn't believe him. He was the crazy one...the one who was haunted by things normal people couldn't see. But they were there...those ghosts. And they wouldn't leave him alone.

"Derek, what's wrong? Your hands are shaking." The concern in her voice made him angry. He didn't want the concern, he didn't need the pity.

"If I told you, would you believe? Would you believe me if I told you that I was being haunted? Would you believe it if I told you that ghosts were real...and that I see them all the time? Would you believe?"

Raven's eyes widened in astonishment. "So you can see spirits! And who told you ghosts weren't real?"

Frankly, the man was confused. What kind of response was that? How could she have known that he could see these things? Derek was speechless, and all he could do was stare up at her, in shock.

Raven chuckled. "Call it an instinct, if you will. But I always wondered if you could. Your eyes are just not...human. And as for ghosts and spirits...I am a half-demon, so shouldn't it be right that ghosts and such things exist."

She reached out and gripped his hands tightly. "What did you see? Derek, tell me."

oOoOo

Raven placed her cold pale hands between Derek's eyes and watched curiously as his eyes fluttered closed. Delving into his mind wasn't something she wanted to do...after all, a thief does need some secrets. He just seemed so...nervous and agitated about the whole thing. Raven felt that she couldn't help him unless she knew.

Besides, it wasn't like she was going to ransack his mind, considering that it was the last thing he had been thinking about before she entered. She wouldn't have to delve so deeply. The whole process would be quick and painless. Maybe, if it was bad enough, she'd erase it. He wouldn't mind...would he? Maybe then he could live his life without these ghosts haunting him.

She didn't need to delve that deeply the minute she saw that dusty, old empty laboratory building. She didn't need to know what Derek had seen. It was already engraved in her mind as well.

Pale, icy hands withdrew slowly, and the room began to spin. Lights flashed painfully in her eyes. The searing white walls...those sickening pure untainted walls. Yes, everything was suddenly rushing back. That familiar headache was coming back. Raven gripped her head in pain.

The pure white walls...the bright exposing lights. The voices...the cold formal voices. What were they saying. What?

"The child is not human. Anyone can see that."

"Zatanna believes she is a dangerous demon. If so we must find a way to quarantine her powers...she could be of use to us some day."

"Dr. Stein, it is impossible to fully control the powers of a demon. She must die...for the good of mankind, she must die." Zatanna's cold hateful voice. She hated me. They all did. All I wanted to do was live a normal life.

Why couldn't I live like everyone else?

Why? Why must I die...why do I have to suffer for these humans. These same people who want my death. Why must I show mercy by dying?

Why don't I deserve mercy too? The word 'no' echoed loudly in my mind.

I did not like that word 'no.' Giselle said 'no' once before. Poor, poor Giselle. Pretty blond-hair and blue-eyed Giselle. She didn't give me what I wanted...who knew Giselle could be so red? Just like the crayons. She could paint the walls too. Too bad she hated the color red. I thought it suited her perfectly.

Poor, poor Giselle.

Wicked, evil me.

The terror filled screams were like sweet music to her ears. The pure white walls were coated with a beautiful, shiny blood-red color. Just like Giselle. These people can color the walls too.

Staring through the bloody stained mirror, she saw the sick grin plastered on her bloody face. Her eyes were a dark shade of black. Pale grey skin, Drenched purple hair...red splattered all over her body.

It was beautiful...it was art. Red coated hands trailed slowly down the walls. This was ecstasy...this was beautiful. This was art. The shrieks of pain from these arrogant humans as they were dismantled. Wasn't it lovely? Wasn't it just beautiful? She smiled...she beamed. Revenge was sweet.

These people thought they could say 'no' to me. They didn't want to give me what I want. How dare they! How dare they use that word! How dare they withhold what was rightfully mine! No, they can't get away with it. The wouldn't.

Giselle couldn't...I made sure of that. These people were no better. It's better that they scream. It's better that they entertain me as they die pitifully. Let them die like lab rats. Let them die in pieces. A hysterical laugh filled the room.

That quiet calm voice that suddenly entered her ears. A turn, a glimpse around the room...and finally a glimpse into the sorrowful eyes of the Bat. Sorrow...why not pity? Why wasn't he starting at her with anger, with hatred...why was he staring like he could understand?

I couldn't bring myself to kill the Bat that night.

"Poor, poor me. Poor poor Bruce."

Hands shook uncontrollably, violet eyes glittered with tears. The blood red walls colored her mind. What had she done? Who could atone for this sin but her alone?

Was it not enough that she was suffering every day? Her sanity was slowly leaving. How long would it be before she lost control? Before Erik sent her into an early grave?

Raven's purple eyes glanced up, meeting the glittering golden eyes of Derek. What was she going to say? Perhaps he would leave now...now that he knew who she truly was. An insane and cruel murderer. Who would love a murderer? Who would want anything to do with a killer who was slowly going mad? Who?

"Forgive me, Derek. It...is all my fault that you are tormented so. Now you see...I really am dangerous. I really am insane. So please, don't have anything to do with me. Please don't...if you are killed because of me-" Derek's warm hand covered her mouth and the sorceress stared at him through watery eyes. Why did he look so sad?

"Princess...I don't care if you killed people. I don't care if you are dangerous. I love you. And no, I won't leave...I'll never leave you."

"Please don't promise such a thing Derek. Everyone knows promises are lies. Don't tell me you'll never leave. You can't assure me that you'll be there forever. We all grow old and die. So don't..." Raven stared at her chipped polished nails. "Jeremy promised...and he's dead. I don't want you to die too."

Derek pulled the petite young woman into his arms and kissed her gently. "I'm Red X. Dying isn't my style. I may not be able to keep to all my promises, but I promise not to make you regret. I won't give you anything else to regret."

oOoOo

Derek couldn't keep that promise. As I sit here, confined in my quarters, I wonder why I even believed him. I believed every word...and because of me he now resides in Arkham City's Maximum Security Prison. Words cannot describe the feeling of helplessness and depression that live with me each day. How many times do I wish I could have seen him...at least once more.

Why did they have to take him away like that? Why do they treat me this way? How can I possibly raise this child without him? Tell me, how does one live with no air? How can I breathe...if he's gone?

This was the hardest chapter to write...cause of all the emotions and stuff.

Starfire's scene was purposely written in that haphazard manner. In order to depict her unstable mind...switching between persons was necessary. I apologize if it confuses anyone.

The last scene is what Cyborg had told Robin several chapters ago. (Referring to when Raven killed everyone in the Star Lab facility in Canada.) The jumping around of persons is done purposely. What she is recalling is really a mix of her thoughts and the demon's. (Giselle is the name of the babysitter...the one she killed but couldn't remember.)

When writing the last scenes I was listening to Lux Aeterna from the movie Requiem for a Dream. It's creepiness may or may not have rubbed off in the story.

~heartless16