Several notes by the author up here:
1. As you may have noticed, time between updates for this story is becoming increasingly longer. This is because as time has gone on, I have had less of the story written beforehand. After this chapter, I'm going to have to write several of the next parts completely from scratch or do some heavy editing. As a result, although I am definitely finishing this story and posting it all up here, there may be a several weeks or a month of down time. I apologize.
2. This fanfic now has a fanmix on 8tracks entitled Strange Things Did Happen Here under the username sarahskies. I debated for a long time making this public as this music was mostly just for me and to help me write but what the hey, if you're interested I've made it public and you can check it out!
3. Finally, as you most likely have seen throughout this story, I am not one to particularly be personable outside of the actual story. I usually don't add notes to my stories or talk to my readers at all because I pretty much just write for me and post it here and a few other places just in case anyone might possibly be interested. With that said, I am extremely grateful to anyone who has written a review, followed my story, or just stopped by to give it a chance. I cannot tell you how many times I've had a stupid grin on my face because of this. Thank you so much and stay awesome peeps!
No matter what Danila says – no matter what he does – I won't be calmed down.
"Don't you understand? She was screaming my name before she died! She was calling to me to save her and I didn't!"
"Look you couldn't have known, okay? It's just some messed up trick by the Gamemakers to get you all riled up."
"But she had to have said it. Jabberjays only copy. Danila…"
"Jay," he says, grabbing my shoulders like I'm thirteen and he's the seventeen-year-old, "get yourself together. The feast is in just under an hour. Are you ready or should we call it off?"
"Oh," I say, pulling out my knife, "I'm ready."
I know I must look insane, I feel insane, that darkness within me now having a target to place all its energy on.
"Jay…" Danila says, looking a little worried.
But for whatever reason, my bloodlust isn't scaring me. It's making me glad, let's go against the rest of the tributes, they damn well should fear me. "Trust me, Danila. We have a much better chance of surviving if I'm a little crazy, okay?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Do you trust me?"
"I trust you."
"C'mon then, let's go."
We tramp through the forest, reaching the edge just as dawn begins to light up the sky. Without even a sound a platform is raised out of the bottom floor of the Cornucopia. Despite there being only twelve tributes left, there are only seven objects on table. Nothing for 1 or 2 and frustratingly nothing for 4 but there is some sort of strange contraption for 3. If we want Shard's bow and arrows we'd better hope that this will lead all the Careers here. To Danila's (and probably the Career's) dismay, there is also no food.
But that is where the famine ends and the bounty begins. Unlike previous Games where Districts 1 through 6 would be doing quite well right now, this time around Districts 7 through 12 all have one tribute alive each and all of us have one object on that table. It almost makes me want to laugh, the fact that they probably put so little food in this arena this time around just because Capitol citizens must be saying how repetitive the Games have gotten with the Careers winning almost every year. But I don't because the thought is equally horrifying.
My eyes skim across all these brutal weapons for the outlier districts until I reach the end, that weapon surely meant for me with a 12 stamped on it.
Throwing knives.
I can't see everything from here – they seem to be connected to something else for some reason – but I can tell they're the best money can buy, even for a Capitol citizen.
And that they're meant for me.
Someone thinks I'm doing well enough in the Games to sponsor me. Someone wants to see me win.
The thought gives me all the more adrenaline.
"What's the plan?" Danila whispers after a full minute of silence, the arena seemingly devoid of its twelve contestants.
A plan? All I can think is how I want to sink one of those knives into whoever killed Anna…
"Let's wait it out and see what happens," I say, trying to refocus my mind. "I don't want us going in there only to get picked off by the Careers."
The more I think about it, the more I realize how badly the odds are against us. Once I have those knives in my hand, I'm sure we're going to be fine but until then I have pretty much no way of defending myself, much less Danila. My knife is good for close combat and I could try to use the bomb in a desperate situation when I have no other choice but for something like this I need long range and the only thing I have is right smack dab in the center of the Cornucopia.
One tribute – his coat says 11 – finally braves it, running out into the open. And just like that they all do, a girl from 9 with blue hair and then I catch a glimpse of the Careers running out too. They're not as fast nor as eager as at the beginning and I realize my earlier assumption was correct: they're absolutely dying without food. Only Killian who is perpetually unfazed, seems normal.
Perfect. Now we can just wait until everyone grabs their things and leaves.
That is, until the boy from 11 decides it would be a grand plan to take my throwing knives along with his machete.
"Oh, no you don't," I mutter under my breath. "Danila," I call over my shoulder, "you stay right there."
I don't wait for his response as I launch out into the open, slipping across the river and running straight towards 11 as he tumbles down the hill of the Cornucopia.
"Hey!" I yell to him. He looks up and all I can think is Anna and maybe he killed her and I'm swinging my knife as hard as I can.
It feels so good.
But he steps out of the way just in time and swings back, the machete very nearly taking off my head.
My head. I need to keep my head.
"Just give me the knives," I say, "and I'll let you go. We don't have to fight."
He swings at me again and I step further back.
"No," he says. "I've seen of what you can do. I think it better we finish this now."
He swings again and again and I can't get a good shot in. I don't dare run back to Danila for fear this boy would follow and if I go for my bomb, he'll surely kill me before I can even unzip my bag.
One thing he is doing is wearing me down. I don't know how many more swings I can dodge before he does some serious damage.
"Jay!" someone screams, in pain, in fear. It's Danila, a ghost of Anna's voice. It takes everything within me not to look but to plunge the knife into 11 as he startles from the yell.
He lets out a shocked gasp and reaches out to stab me but I just push the machete out of his reach.
Cannon.
I grab the throwing knives and realize that what they're connected to is a belt for me to wear around my waist. But I don't have time for that. I only have time to take out several and run towards Danila who's on the ground and the 9 girl is about to kill.
"Hey!" I yell to her and throw the knife. Too late do I realize these knives aren't like the ones in training. They're even better. They're weighted and thought out from someone left-handed like me. Good but that also means that the knife I just threw misses her head by several inches.
She smiles and seems to think me an easy target. She leaves Danila and walks towards me when I have the next knife in hand. I throw it with perfect accuracy. It goes right through her heart.
Cannon.
"What on earth were you thinking?!" I say, running over to Danila who's still lying on the ground. "You could have been killed! Didn't I tell you to stay in the trees?" I'm about to go on when I see his cheeks are wet with tears and the second I'm near enough, he latches on to me.
"I was so scared," he sobs. "I thought you were going to die and then, and then…"
It makes me angry because I know that in the Capitol they're looking at Danila and thinking how pathetic and weak he is just like when I wept the first time I killed those tributes, just like his Reaping.
They're the ones who're pathetic.
"Hey," I say. "It's all over. No one got us. We're good."
I don't mention the fact that for one of us to win, the other is still going to have to die.
"I know," he says. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," I say but I barely hear myself. My eyes are already searching the Cornucopia for the next threat. Surprisingly the Careers haven't left even though I haven't heard or seen them kill a single person. They seem to be involved amongst themselves in some deep argument; Killian and his district partner against the rest. It's almost funny, I might have just killed two people and scratched out my survival but this argument might be what's been mostly playing in the Capitol and elsewhere if the Careers are more popular than I am and let's face it, no matter how many people I kill or mentions I make of Yondrie, they always will be.
But then I look at my throwing knives and I think about that one person, one person at least who sponsored me and wants to see me win.
There's someone else out here though, someone who's running straight to us. I get to my feet and help Danila up just as I pull out my knife still wet with blood.
"Hold it right there, boys," a girl says who's almost as tall as I am and probably has more muscle too. Then I see the axe on her shoulder and recognize her as the female tribute from District 7, the one that caught my eye at the Reaping.
"I'm not going to kill you, I just want your stuff; all of it. If you do as I say, you both get to leave here alive."
Without our stuff we're pretty much going to die anyways. I pull out a throwing knife as well. "You wish. You're dealing with the wrong people if you think that's going to work on us."
She looks at her gleaming axe. "Give me your stuff, kid. Or I take your head instead."
"Why don't you harass the Careers instead? They seem more your type anyways."
Even as I mention them, I can hear their argument getting louder. Killian's saying something about plans and organizations. Flicker is saying that Killian's weak.
"Well you have a smart little mouth on you, don't ya?" 7 says to me. "Want to say that again?"
"You're just a leech, Killian, and I don't need you here to win the Games. I just realized I never did."
"Yeah, I do want to say it again," I say. "We're too good for you so why don't you just move along."
"You're only killing yourself, Flicker."
"Jay," Danila says, tugging on my arm, his eyes still huge with fear. "Let's just give her our stuff and get out of here."
"Sorry, kid," 7 says just as I hear one of the Careers scream out in pain, "that boat has already sailed."
She raises her axe and I'm ready to spring my knife on her when out of the corner of my eye I see Killian grab whatever that thing is from the table and put it into the contraption he's had since the Bloodbath. But that's all the warning I get before he turns it on and blasts us all.
It's not even a high-pitched sound as much as it's a sound at all. It's more like the current they stunned us with on the hovercraft, except unbearably painful. I don't even realize what I'm doing until I'm on the ground, knife still in hand, screaming in pain.
It must've ended, that's the only explanation I can think of. Killian, who could have killed us all, instead drags his district partner, the one who was injured, into the forest but a moment later I hear a cannon fire if my sizzling and popping ears are hearing it correctly.
The 7 girl looks dizzy and so out of it that I deem her non-threatening, moving directly to Danila who looks far worse for wear. He was closer to Killain's device after all, and his eyes are rolling in his head. I'm really worried that he's going to start going into convulsions at any moment. I try to carry him but he's far too heavy for my slender frame. I fuzzily see the Careers coming towards us and I fumble out a knife but they don't reach for me.
They reach for 7.
"So 12," says Flicker practically choking her, she still too dazed to protest. "This is your great ally."
I close my eyes. I realize how tired I am, of them, of this, of doing everything in my power to survive the next second before I am thrown another flaming hoop to jump through. And any sort of restraint I had instantly dissipates. Before I even realize what I'm doing I'm taking out one of my knives and grabbing Philomena as I stick it against her throat.
"You let go of her right now," I hiss, "or I kill one of your own."
Philomena whimpers. Shard looks worried but Flicker just shrugs his shoulders. "Fine with me. A life for a life."
"You're sick, you know that, Flicker!" I say. But I know that's not what will get through to him. I take a deep breath and silently apologize to 12. "But not as sick as I can be. Haven't you already realized how much I enjoy killing? I love it. It would be my pleasure to kill her. You should have already realized, Flicker, that there is no way for you to scare me. So please continue. This can only further serve my interest."
Even Flicker seems uneased mixed though it is still mixed with contempt. After a moment he throws the 7 girl to the ground.
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I shake my head. "Not good enough. I want more. I want the bow and arrows Shard has."
"No!" spits Flicker. "You have your girl now go!"
"Do you really want me to kill her?" I press the knife even further into her neck.
Shard doesn't hesitate at his district partner's safety. He takes off the bow and throws the arrows at my feet.
"Good," I say, loosening my grip on the girl. "See? That's all I wanted. Thank you so very much."
And just when I'm about to let her go, Flicker mutters, "You know, it's too bad what happened to your district partner."
I tighten my grip back on her despite her protests. "What? What do you know?"
Shard shoots an angry glance at Flicker. "He was about to let her go!"
Flicker ignores him. "All I'm saying is that it's a pity that you two didn't decide to team up. I think you've proven that you could've saved her. You just didn't want to."
That sets me off. I start digging the knife into Philomena's neck as blood starts to drain down, thinking only about Anna and her screams. I could've saved her. Why didn't I team up with her? "You tell me what you did to her right now! Did you kill her? I swear if you touched one hair on her head…"
"Flicker!" Shard says in horror and then holds up his hands in surrender. "We didn't kill your girl, 12, swear it's the honest truth."
"Yeah, well, then who did?"
"It was the boy from 8. He's been luring people onto the tropical side and killing them. That's where most people have disappeared to."
I'm almost stunned. It does make sense, a lot of people have been disappearing. And the 8 boy did catch my eye at the Reaping, that strange boy with an unsettling gaze. But I'm still unsure. "How do I know this is the truth, huh? Maybe you're just telling me this because you want to save your own skin." I press the knife against Philomena once more. "Maybe I should kill her just to be sure."
"Please, 12! I swear I'm telling the truth!" Shard says, looking devastated and my bloodlust instantly dissipates. I probably look insane, I probably am insane. I instantly drop Philomena to the ground, bloodied and still crying.
"Better run, Careers," I say, trying to keep my voice steady. "The next time we meet is the next time you die."
"No," says Flicker and he says it so harshly with such venom in his eyes that it really does shake me, "the next time we meet is the time I take pleasure in your death." But they still clear off.
I find the 7 girl still are the ground, along with Danila who seems slightly dazed but no worse for wear. Both stare at me in fear though.
"Are you going to kill me then?" the girl asks bluntly.
I shake my head. "My fault you're still here. I misled them with jabberjays to think you and I were in an alliance. Besides, I think I've seen enough blood for today."
I help her up and then Danila. She starts to walk away but then at the last moment says, "Well, what about that alliance?"
"What?" I smirk. "You trust me enough to be in an alliance?"
"Hell no," she says. "But what happened there just proved to me that you're the strongest player in this arena and if you'll have me, I'll become your ally."
It strikes me as so strange. All everyone talked about before the Games was Killian. Now Killian might as well be dead and I'm the one that everyone either admires or fears.
The Capitol must be going crazy.
"Fine with me. Danila?"
He nods his head and then smiles. "Now we have as many people as the Careers."
It's true and I can't help but smile too.
The two bodies still haven't been removed yet since we're still so close to them. I go to remove my knives from them. I leave their weapons since it will just leave the arena with them.
I look over at the feast table. Two people didn't show. The first, 10, has a spiked mace. I try lifting it up and almost fall over from the weight. I shudder at the thought this tribute would have gotten this. I place it on the body of the 11 boy.
The other item is for 8. Netting. For luring. For trapping. My hands close over it so tight my knuckles turn white. Anna went into that jungle and was captured with netting like this and while Danila and I were laughing and joking together, she was screaming for me to save her.
I'll repay that debt, Anna. If it's the last thing I do.
The girl and Danila must see this because they draw near with concerned faces. But I just throw it overtop of 9 and guide them far enough away that the hovercrafts come and take the bodies away.
"We won the Cornucopia fair and square," I say, "let's take full advantage."
"So what's your name?"
She pulls back a strand of her hair. With the fire flickering on her eyes, she doesn't look like the fearsome girl I first pictured but like a scared kid, like all of us really. "Aimee."
"Jay," I say. "And the young one's Danila."
I stretch back. This is the first real time since the Games began that I've felt safe or at least safe enough. It's so nice to just light a fire and not worry what time it is or drink water from the stream and not worry whether there's going to be enough for tomorrow.
This reflects in our conversation too. She opens up about her time so far in the arena as do we. Most of it has been the same. We both managed to snag some pretty good supplies. We both laugh about trying to kill each other. We both realized early on about the jabberyjays and the fact that the zones are always changing.
"Yeah," I say, "that was a good trick I played on the Careers, until today."
"Thank you, by the way," she says, the first sincere thing I think I've heard come out of her mouth. "You didn't have to stop for me but you did so…thanks."
We all fall silent for a moment and I know we are all really thinking about my bloodlust, that horrible black thing that seems to loom over everything I do. Every day it gets worse and worse. I don't even feel remorse anymore. Killing has become far too easy.
"I remember your Reaping," I say quietly, desperately trying to say anything to clear my mind, "you seemed like the worst competitor back then what with your axe. I'm pretty sure it scared me half to death!"
"I saw your Reaping too," Aimee replies back. "Didn't think much until I saw that girl of yours. What's her name again? Yordle?"
"Yondrie," I quickly correct. "Her name's Yondrie."
"Yeah. I know others said that she was just playing the crowds but that's not what I saw. I saw someone who was terrified of losing you." She pauses. "It was nice to see that, you know. In a Reaping. It's so rare you do."
Thinking about Yondrie only sears at my heart. At how much I miss her. I wonder what she's doing right now, if she's watching this or working at the Hob or out in the forest. Maybe she's looking at the watch I gave her and singing.
The thought sticks in my mind and before I really know what I'm doing, I'm singing myself:
When I first came to this district in the Darkest of Times
I saw many fair lovers but I never saw mine
I viewed it all around me and saw I was quite alone
For me a poor stranger such a long way from home
I remember Dad teaching me this, one of the first songs he ever taught me. I never liked it, I always thought it was strange, talking about moving about districts as if we could do such a thing. Dad explained that this song had existed far before the districts, even back when there was still a North America. It didn't really register with me. I had never known that world, why should a song change that?
But now this song takes on new meaning. I feel as if whoever wrote it knew about the Games, had been in them like us. Like they were separated from their love and their home just like me.
The whole arena falls silent which makes me realize that there are mockingjays as well as jabberjays here. In fact the birds surround us; some on the Cornucopia, some beside the fire, all staring at me with curiosity.
"Didn't know that mockingjays could grow so quiet," Aimee says softly. "Didn't know you could sing like that either."
"Well, it's sort of obvious," Danila says. "He is wearing a mockingjay pin."
"Yeah," I say but I'm not really listening. I'm focused on one bird that is perched almost against my foot, staring at me. I could just open my palms and he would fly into my hands. And I can't help myself, I do just that. He does fly, his sharp little feet digging into my flesh.
But he's not afraid. I could snap his neck right now but he still wouldn't flinch. Just because I have a voice he likes he thinks I can be trusted. He should know that that isn't how life works.
"Sing something else," Danila says eagerly. "Isn't there something of yours that they would sing?"
"Just one," I say.
"Well then what are you waiting for?"
I wince looking at Danila's smiling face. I shouldn't have mentioned it. There's no way I can sing the Hanging Tree in the arena without getting into serious trouble. The Gamemakers may let our poking fun of Capitol citizens by, they may let me sing a song with vague connotations of unrest, but they would never allow this.
I shake my head. "One song's good enough for now."
Danila gets up and whispers in my ear. "It might get us sponsors."
It might. But it will more likely get us all killed. I shake my head again. "Sorry, Danila. But it's not happening."
He seems disappointed which is a shame but I can't help it. He whistles some little tune and the mockingjays begin to lift off, singing his song amongst themselves. The bird in my hand seems eager to fly too and I certainly can't deny it something I will probably never have. I lift up my hands and let it fly up into the night.
"Why don't you guys get some rest," I say. "I'll take the first shift."