OUR LIVES, CHAPTER 23: THE MATTER OF PRIDE

By The Binary Alchemist, 2013

There were worse ways to wake up in the morning than the teasing scratch of morning stubble along one's belly and thighs, accompanied by the tickle of warm breath and slick delights of Roy Mustang's tongue….worse, yes.

None better.

"So….that fucking book is coming out this morning. Planning to set fire to any bookshops before breakfast?" Ed asked as they showered and shaved at their twin bathroom sinks.

"Actually," Roy slapped on a bit of exotic cologne and admired himself after making sure his teeth were properly flossed, "We have a fitting for our wedding suits, and we need to drag Maes out of whatever bed he's occupying and bring him along. I wonder if the tailor can possibly bear three such outstanding specimens of masculine charisma." He glanced at Ed. "Well, two, perhaps."

THHHAAAWACCCKKK! A wet towel, aimed with all deliberate malice, popped Mustang on the rump, leaving a red mark that complimented the bruise Gladys Turlough had left on his opposite nether cheek.

"Like it? Now you've got a matched set," Ed crowed victoriously. "And," he threatened, snapping the wet towel for emphasis, "if she kisses it better—"

"—she's have to shove you out of the way."

"Only if I'm in the midst of shoving…" Ed's hand slid over the reddened mark with a lingering caress.

"Shove me and you're likely to get shoved back. Repeatedly. On the presidential desktop."

"How about the bathroom counter?"

"How about now?"

"AH-hemmm hemmmmmm mmmm?"

Sebastian. Damn. "If nobody's bombing Central," Roy bellowed, grabbing at his lover's hips, "it can wait."

"It's Collins, Your Excellency," the butler informed him. "Master Maes is in need of assistance at the Bradley house. Immediate assistance, from you, Professor Elric or Master Alphonse, specifically." There was a pause. "Confidentially, Sir…I'd say it was a…matter of Pride."

###

His lab coat was neatly folded, the tear from the rose trellis neatly mended. Maes' boots were polished, trousers hung up and his shirt had been touched up with an iron. "Damn perfectionist," the young man muttered, half irritated by his best friend's compulsive neatness and half aroused and delighted to be back in Davy's bed again.

The clock in the hall downstairs softly chimed six, and since the butler's quarters were on the first level he could hear the muffled sounds of the small band of servants receiving orders from Davy—correction: at this hour he was now Collins, butler and majordomo for the Bradley estate. There were more servants than there were Bradleys, but that was hardly the point. Mrs. Bradley had been trying to manage on her own for far too long. Far as Maes could tell, Davy's skilled management had taken a great deal of stress off Mrs. Bradley's mind and according to Uncle Roy she seemed far less absent-minded than she had been months ago. "It's all well that he's doing for her and Selim," he muttered to the wallpaper. "That's good…but I want him home. That's what comes of being Sebastian's fair haired boy, I guess."

A fresh toothbrush, a safety razor with a fresh blade and clean towels were laid out for him in the small private bathroom. No sense coming to breakfast all stubbly with butler on his breath, Maes reasoned, and hastened to make himself presentable.

There was nothing to tie his hair up with but he was at least combed out, although it took some effort to manage the snarls he inevitably got in his hair from thrashing his head on the pillows if his lover chose to climb up for a hard ride. Last night had been remarkable indeed and Maes had the tangles in his hair to prove it.

He was halfway up the hall to the dining room when the sound of Selim's voice made him hesitate. What if…? The last thing he wanted to do was send Selim Bradley off the deep end into another fit. Mrs. Bradley had invited in to breakfast, yes…surely she understood the risks, didn't she? Maybe he should—

"Maes? Dear, is that you?"

Damn, too late. Drawing a deep breath, the tall young man entered the dining room. Davy-no, Collins!—Collins was pouring coffee for Mrs. Bradley and Selim was digging in to a bowl of oatmeal with what smelled like baked cinnamon apples, just like Collins had made back home at Rose Hill. "G..good morning, Ma'am!" he boomed out in a voice that sounded too loud to him and way too cheerful. "Good morning, Selim! It's good to see you!"

The oatmeal bowl crashed to the floor. "FAAAAAATHERRRRRR! NO! NOOOO! FAAAAAAAAATHEERRRRRRR!"

Mrs. Bradley went white. Collins bent immediately to steady her.

Maes, on the other hand marched straight up to Selim Bradley. He was shocked. And he was mad as hell. What the fuck was going on with Selim? Maes had never laid a hand on him, never hurt him and the moment the older man had seen Maes Elric he had gone absolutely bugfuck.

Hysterics, Maes recognized. He's hysterical. Selim had leapt up from his chair, cringing, backing up against the fireplace, eyes wide and wild. It was as if whatever intelligence the older man possessed had been switched off. "NOOOOOOOO!"

Maes did not back away. He was the son of Edward Elric and the great grandson of Pinako Rockbell. He had younger step-brothers and sisters back in Resembool that occasionally attempted to manipulate their mother by throwing tantrums. When Sara was little she would literally scream until she threw up and wet herself. Maes once tried to coddle her but Pinako would have none of that. "Don't encourage it, or she'll keep on doing it." Seeing Pinako's point, Maes instead cheerfully asked Sara if she knew how to make gingerbread pancakes. "I've never had gingerbread pancakes," he told the little girl wistfully. "I would really love a nice, fluffy stack of gingerbread pancakes. Do you think," his arm slid around her shaking shoulders, "you could figure out how to make me some?" It had worked. Sara was completely distracted from her screaming fit and every other time she'd gotten herself worked up her big brother had artfully distracted her.

As Maes moved closer, he couldn't be certain if Selim was going to faint or try to attack him. The fire poker was near to hand, and if he had to Maes was prepared to use alchemy to protect himself. Nina had cast Maes' array into a heavy silver signet ring that he often wore on his watch chain, since jewelry could be a hazard in his laboratory. Maes had slipped it on before coming down for breakfast just in case of any possible emergency.

Selim began to shriek, and there was the sudden, rank smell as if he'd fouled himself in terror. Sheesh, am I THAT scary? And who the hell is 'Father'? Is he calling for the old Fuhrer?

"Selim. Selim?" They were eye to eye now. "Hey, buddy…snap out of it."

Nobody moved. Maes held the older man's gaze and kept his voice cheerful and calm. "Seriously, man….everything's fine. Snap out of it."

Selim was hyperventilating and the front of his trousers darkened as he lost control of his bladder. "Fatherfatherfatherfather…!" he babbled. He swayed as if he was about to fall.

Maes slapped him.

It wasn't enough to hurt, just enough to shock. Then he caught Selim by both shoulders and shook him very gently. "Selim…Selim. Look…I don't know what or who you're scared of, but there's no 'Father' here. It's me, and your mom and Collins. Nobody here would ever hurt you. You're making yourself sick. Pull yourself together."

There was a tiny, frightened sound from Mrs. Bradley. Maes heard his lover's voice, calm and confident: "Trust him, Ma'am. Trust Maes." She did not move her eyes away from Selim but she reached up and patted his arm with trembling hands. "Yes."

"Selim." The large hands, scarred from dozens of lab accidents, were now massaging Selim's shoulders. "I'm not 'Father'. I'm your friend. You know what friends are? Friends are people who listen when you're scared. You talk it out and they help you and the bad feelings go away. Now," he was smiling now, "I bet you didn't know that I make THE most amazing gingerbread pancakes in the whole wide world, did you?" Selim didn't answer. "Well, I do! You can ask Nina. You can ask Elycia. Even Collins says they're the best. And since you're outta oatmeal, buddy, what say Mom and I go mix up some batter while Collins gets you cleaned up and I'll teach you how to flip pancakes. Sound like a good deal? We'll make the world's biggest stack of gingerbread pancakes and all of us will sit down and have a feast—and then Collins will make some hot chocolate and then we're gonna talk about what's scaring you-and we're gonna make it all right. Does that sound like a plan to you, buddy?"

It was not until the upstairs bathroom door closed that Maes slumped against the mantle, shaking violently. "Oh fuck," he whispered. "Oh, fuck….oh fuck…." Remembering where he was, he offered an apology to Mrs. Bradley. "I'm just…I've never…"

She kissed his cheek. "You were wonderful and brave, my dear boy!"

"Yeah, whatever." His eyes were damp and he grabbed Mrs. Bradley's coffee mug and took a deep swallow. "Do you know how to make gingerbread pancakes? 'Cause fuck me if I have a clue."

She laid her hand on his cheek. "No, Maes…but I do know what the Father was…and so do Edward and Alphonse and Roy Mustang."

###

"I'd like to transmute that trollop into a toilet seat!"

"Nina!"

"I mean it." Nina Elric was staring through the window of the bookshop with eyes that were so cold and calculating that Elycia was feeling more than a little alarmed.

"Think of your new career," Elycia warned. "You want to serve the public and run for a seat in Parliament? I don't think you can do that if you've got a criminal record. And you'll get one for sure if you go in there."

"I want to get my hands on that book-and I want to hear what that…that…thing…has to say about my Poppy and your dad and…and…"

"—annnnnd…let's go get some coffee and some cinnamon rolls. They're hot out of the oven right now." Elycia tugged at her friend's arm but Nina wouldn't budge. "Nina…honey…if I thought you could go in there and stay calm…but you're not yourself."

Nina spun on her heels and glared up at Elycia. "She went after Uncle Maes too. How can you be so calm?"

"Because…if I thought for one minute that you smacking her with a handbag full of hardcover laboratory manuals would make a difference for the better, I'd whack her myself. But," she sighed, "it won't…and I really don't think Daddy or Uncle Roy would want us to fall to that level."

"You're right."

The young women turned around. Riza Hawkeye was standing behind them. So was Alphonse Elric. "I was expecting to find you and your brother here," Al told them, "and the Colonel and I thought it would be good to—"

"-keep us from turning Kelley Winchell into a toilet seat?" Nina suggested with sweet malice.

"-keep you from doing anything that would make matters worse." Alphonse was kind but firm. "So, we are going in that bookstore—since you're obviously hell bent on it and I can't order a grown woman around. You are going in and Colonel Hawkeye and I will be right at your side and you will show your usual grace and maturity and I am sure you will make me proud of you. "

Daddy might yell and curse and Poppy might indulge…but when it came to laying down the law there was no getting around her Uncle Alphonse. Nina nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Good. And when you're satisfied, we will get the hell out of here and after a big breakfast the Colonel and I will take you ladies out to the dressmakers. We need to find something perfect for you to wear to the wedding. The gentlemen are being fitted this morning too. I figured we might all go out to lunch this afternoon and then-"

He was talking to empty air. The ladies had already left him behind.

"So…um….how did you two start to write together?" A woman asked from the front row.

Kelley Winchell preened. "Well! My former publisher—and my lawyers have asked me not to mention them by name…but we all know who I'm taking about, riiiiiight?" She looked around at her audience. "Anyway, they were just dragging their feet getting Fire and Vice to press…and they had the nerve to tell me that there was 'something wrong' with the print rollers that would put the ink on the pages. Now, honestly! Doesn't that make you wonder? And I said to myself 'hmmmmmm? Maybe they deliberately-" there was a harummmph! from the sidelines and a man in a dark suit shook his head imperceptively. "Wellll…anyway…they told me they couldn't print Fire and Vice…but they managed to print out that silly children's book, didn't they?" She tittered, her tight-jawed smile barely concealing her anger over Buckety-Buckety The Big Brown Bear Has Tea With Wibbles The Wolf. The man in the dark suit threw Winchell another cautioning look. "Soooo….since Fire and Vice obviously wasn't coming out, Mr. Archer and I decided to collaborate. He had the pictures from the war. I had the story. The rest is history…or certainly will be, once you've bought it and read it and seen for yourself what awful things were done during the Ishballan war!"

Between one sentence and another, Nina Elric's blood drained out of her face and she let out a soft hiss of breath as if she'd been punched in the belly by an unseen hand.

Something wrong with the print rollers…makes you wonder…deliberate?…Fire and Vice wasn't coming out…something wrong with the print rollers…deliberate…

"-hard to look at, maybe. But…it's history, isn't it? And it's so relevant to what's been going on here in Central during the current President's rule-"

Deliberate…something wrong…deliberate….

"—oh, god…that's terrible!"

"—I can't…don't look…"

"—the baby! He burned a baby-"

Photographic slides projected by a Magic Lantern. A city in flames. Row upon row of soldiers. The corpse of a burned child beside the charred ruins of its dead mother.

People were rumbling…crying…voices becoming an angry buzz in her ears…

Above the furor was the hateful voice of Kelley Winchell. "Never forget," she intoned sanctimoniously. "We must never, ever forget-"

She was out in the cool air, Her knees were not going to hold her up much longer. Riza Hawkeye had guessed that, seeing how pale Nina had become, and helped her outside as the customers inside sobbed and whispered and argued and lined up to have their books signed by Kelley Winchell, who never noticed the young woman's anguish.

"Nina?" Alphonse looked alarmed. "Are you all right?"

"It's my fault."

Elycia blotted her friend's damp face with her handkerchief. "Honey, it's not…it's not. You're just upset. You couldn't help it-"

They didn't understand. "It's my fault," she confessed. "I told Maes to damage the print rollers with alchemy. It was my idea. I put him up to this. If I had just kept my mouth shut-" she gestured towards the mob in the bookstore, the women wiping tears from their faces, the angry men. "If I had just stayed out of it…that book...those pictures would never have seen the light of day. It's all my fault!"

###

Selim Bradley had a big stack of gingerbread pancakes. He had a walk with his mother and Collins. He came home for a nap before lunch.

As he slept, Edward Elric told his son the truth about Truth—and a good many other things to his son. Mrs. Bradley sat with them, nodding in agreement. Finally she pulled out a photograph of a very, very tiny creature, swaddled in the middle of a jacket with the Flamel cross on the back.

Maes excused himself, He walked over to the sideboard and poured himself a large shot of brandy without asking his hostess' permission. He downed it in a single gulp. He sat down beside his father and it took him nearly five minutes to find the right words for the moment.

"So…it's all our fault. That's right, isn't it, Dad? Grandpa Hohenheim…he let that…thing…out of the flask. It was made from his blood-our blood. It killed everybody and looked like Grandpa and….HE made Selim." He drew a slow breath. "That's why he's messed up, right?"

Ed nodded. "Far as I can guess, the Father put the Philosopher's Stone into the blood of a pregnant woman…and made…Pride."

"And when you fought him—"

'—he became…what he had been," Mrs. Bradley concurred.

"A viable fetus," Ed sighed heavily. "What was I to do, son? I wasn't going to kill him! It wasn't his fault. After he lost his power he was just…."

"He was just Selim," Mrs. Bradley finished. She smiled. "And Selim needed to be loved. I was glad to take him back, glad to call him my son."

"Tell him the truth." Roy's voice on the other end of the line was strangely calm. "In as much as you think he can understand it. Make certain he doesn't get the impression that it was his fault."

Ed whistled. "Damn. Are you sure about this?"

There was a weary sigh from his lover. "We're finally at the tipping point, Ed. It's gone too far. He's got vague memories and fears about The Father. He's more at risk than ever. I don't want to use an Executive Order but I will if he becomes a danger to others. And that is pretty much up to you, our son and Mrs. Bradley."

Ed sighed. "Shit, I was afraid you were going to say that-'cause Mrs. Bradley said the same damn thing too. I just…hell, I don't know how…"

Maes tapped him on the shoulder. "Dad? I think I've got an idea…"

"All right, Selim," Maes began carefully. "You get really scared sometimes. We found out why and Dad and I are going to tell you a little story." The younger Elric held up a pair of paper masks he'd transmuted from old newspapers. One was the face of a smiling boy with dark hair and eyes like Selim Bradley. One was the face of a frowning bear that looked suspiciously like a very pissed off Buckety-Buckety.

Ed cleared his throat nervously and glanced at Mrs. Bradley. She nodded. He began…

"Once upon a time, there was a very, very good little boy." On cue, Maes put on the little boy mask. "He was a good kid. A very good kid. And in the same village there was a very bad man named The Father. The Father was just no good. He wanted to make everybody do what he wanted and he didn't care if they were happy, or if he was right or wrong. The Father was very, very bad and he wanted to be a bully. And this is how he did it."

Maes, in the mask, got up and began to stroll around the room, pretending to play with a ball. Ed got up and confronted him. "The Father said, "Little boy, go into the village and tell the people to do everything I want them to."

Maes shook his head. "I won't. Mommy wouldn't like it and it would make people sad."

"And the Father said, 'I don't care. You will tell everybody to do as I say or I will turn you into a big, growwwwwwly monster and they will be so scared of your biiiiig growwwlllll that they will do anything you say.'"

"No" said Maes in the Selim mask. "I'm a good boy. I will never hurt anyone."

'And the bad, bad Father-Man gave the good little boy a magic red stone. When the good boy touched the stone, it changed him on the outside so he looked just like this…"

Maes pulled the bear mask over the little boy mask. "You see, Selim," Maes told him, "underneath the bear face the little boy was still there, just as good as he ever was. Do you see that?"

Facinated, Selim Bradley nodded. "Okay," Ed grinned. "Let me tell you what happened next…"

"For a very, very long time, the scary, growwwwwwllly monster would tip-toe around the village and jump out and scare people. And when he did he'd go—"

"RARRRHHHHHHHRHHHHH!" bellowed Maes.

Ed feigned terror. "A monster! A Monster! Don't eat me! Ooohhh, you're scaring me!"

"Will you do what the Father tells you?" Maes rumbled.

"Oh! Oh yes! " Ed whined. "I'll do whatever Father tells me."

"And deep, deep inside, the little boy had been playing like he was a monster for so long he completely forgot that he was a good little boy. But one day a boy came to the village. He was an alchemist and when he looked at the biiiiig growling monster he guessed that there was a very good little boy hiding under the monster mask. He decided to set the little boy free. So he told the monster 'stop being a meanie!' and he chased the monster all over the village…"

It was the performance of a lifetime. Ed chased Maes all around the room like a comical version of hide and seek and Selim was laughing now. Finally Ed snuck up behind Maes and tapped him on the shoulder. "GOTCHA!" Ed whooped and pulled off the bear mask, showing Maes with the little boy mask once again."

"Hey! Well what do you know? I'm not a monster!" Maes shouted triumphantly. "I'm a good boy again!"

"And the good little boy and the boy alchemist chased the Father around and around and around and you know what? The Father ran so fast that he turned to dust in front of the people of the village. The alchemist and the people in the village smashed that red stone and when they did that the bad Father was no more." Ed took Maes by the hand and led him to Mrs. Bradley. "And the sweet Good Mother saw the good little boy and she said, 'I love you and I will always love you and take care of you all the days of your life'. And," he smiled at Selim, "that is the true story of how you came to be with your mom. That bad, bad Father-Man made you into a growwwwwwwwly monster—and the good alchemist help you get free. Now you're just a good person, Selim. And," he touched Selim's forehead, "this little mark, right here, is where the monster mask was stuck on. That mask is broken, kid. You will never turn into a monster again—and nobody will EVER be able to trick you or talk you into being scary….right?"

"That's why you get so scared, Selim," Mrs. Bradley added. "You didn't remember this story and you didn't understand…but you do now, don't you, son?"

Selim thought long and hard. Everybody was smiling at him. He wasn't bad. He wasn't. "I think so," he answered slowly.

"You'll never hurt anybody and nobody will ever hurt you," Maes said, patting the older boy on the shoulder. "In fact, you'll get strong and well and chase monsters away, won't you? If you will…I promise I'll get Collins to make you gingerbread pancakes every day. Okay?"

"I promise!"

"The monsters will never come back?"

"I promise!"

Maes hugged Selim. Mrs. Bradley hugged him. Ed ruffled his hair and Collins laid his hand on his heart and promised to make gingerbread pancakes to keep the monsters away. "Blueberry will work too…and so will eating your vegetables," he added with a smile.

Twenty minutes later, Ed held the phone in a sweaty, shaking hand as he dialed Roy. "Damn," he told his lover, "Our kid is fucking awesome. May have just saved the godddamn world and the life of Selim Bradley with a fairy tale and a plate of goddamn pancakes…"

…..TO BE CONTINUED…