Sara's Secrets

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or its characters

A/N: please review I am new to fan fiction and would like your input thank you to my beta reader I really appreciate you taking the time to edit my stories

Chapter Three

Nick and Sara fall asleep with Nick's arms around Sara, both at peace, which didn't last long. As she slept Sara had a nightmare that she was sure she would have after talking about her father. Sara dreamt about her father and her brother and what they did to her. She woke up screaming. She sat up, waking Nick in the process. Nick held Sara and let her calm down before he asked her what she was dreaming about, although he was sure he already knew.

Sara looked at Nick and started to tell him about one of her worst memories of when after her father left her room after raping her one night; her brother had snuck into her room and raped her which had been going on for a while. As he raped her, her father came back into the room. Her mother wasn't there; she had to take one of the guests to the hospital. The guest had fallen and broke her leg, they thought. So her father came back to her room so he could rape her again but he was in for a shock when he saw her brother was doing to Sara what her father had been doing.

Sara took a breath. She hated crying in front of anyone and showing how weak she was. Nick held her to his chest trying to comfort her.

Sara sunk back into her memory. Her father was angry at first and then he decided that both he and her brother would rape her at the same time. Her mother was gone a long time. She had tears silently running down her cheeks as they raped her She wondered what had she ever done wrong to deserve this. She was being punished she thought, to have this done to her.

The phone rang at 2:00 a.m. Her mother told her father that she would be home soon. As he was talked to her, he was buried deep in Sara's ass. They both finished up and made her take a shower. Her father left her brother to help her clean up because after being abused like that from both of them, she couldn't walk very well. Once he got her into the shower he joined her and washed her from head to toe. He took the old sheets off and put new sheets on the bed and he put her to bed and she passed out. He took the sheets and put it in with the sheets from the bed and breakfast.

That was the worst night of her life. She had just turned twelve when that happened and two months later her mother came home early and found her husband raping her daughter. Her mom went and got a butcher knife. As he raped Sara, he suddenly jerked and blood was all over the place. He fell off Sara and Sara's mother continued stabbing him five more times. The last stab hit him through his heart, killing him instantly.

Sara was breathing awfully heavy by this time almost hyperventilating. So Nick tried to get her to calm down. "Sara you need to take some deep breaths, slow and easy."

Sara heard Nick's voice and felt his arms around her. She started to calm down and soon after her breathing was back to normal.

Nick asked her "Do you want to stop there or do you want to talk about this some more. It's up to you?"

Sara took a deep breath before she continued, trapped in memories. "That night was the first time that both my brother and father raped me together, but it wasn't the last." One night her father talked her mother into going out with friends so she could relax away from the bed and breakfast. He told her she needed a break from the inn and he wanted her to go have some fun with her friends but to call before she came home so he could have the light on for her. What he really wanted to know was how long he and his son had with Sara and so they wouldn't get caught raping her.

The night was still young after they finished the first time and her mother wasn't due home for hours, so they continued what they were doing to her. They would have sexual relations with each other and rape her at the same time. That night was long and she hurt so bad when they were finally done. Her Dad put her in the shower this time and made her get down on her knees and suck him off. After he blew his load he cleaned her up and put her to bed. Her mother came in not much later. Her Mother almost caught him in her room in the shower with her. The next time was two weeks before her mother stabbed her father to death."

Sara paused, lost to the horrors of her memories and then she continued.

Her father had convinced her mother to go on a cruise for a week with a disabled friend of hers who needed help. Her father told her mother that her brother would help him with the inn and take care of Sara. Her mom left and every night they were in her room. After school. During the day too. It was a horrible seven days. All she wanted was for her mother to come home so they would stop. They told her they were teaching her how to please her future husband.

Sara sarcastically laughed at that and Nick ran his hands down her back trying to comfort the woman in his arms. He didn't know what to say; she had been through so much. Sara finally continued.

"They did horrible things to me during that week. Things I never want to think about again. But the nightmares come and I feel like I'm back in that room again with them raping me."

Finally her mom came back from her trip and instead of them in her room all the time day and night they had to wait for night time. Had to wait for her mother to go to sleep before her Dad could leave his bed for hers. After he was done her brother would sneak into her room.

"One night," she let out a small hiccup. "My brother snuck in before Dad got there. He was in the bathroom watching Dad rape me and as soon as Dad left, he raped me violently. He was real violent that night slapping me; pinching my breasts; and slamming into me."

"The next night my brother Ryan joined my father in my room. He motioned me over and I knew better than to not do what he wanted. He told me to lay down on the bed and they did horrible things to me." She hated what she was forced to do. She didn't have a choice she would have been punished if she didn't do what they wanted her to do.

Finally they were done and her father went back to his bedroom. Luckily for him, her mother slept like the dead so she never noticed he was gone. She thought Ryan was done for the night, but how wrong she was; he was just getting started. While he raped her he would say lewd things to her about how tight her pussy was or her ass and things like this how much he enjoyed what he had done to her. Her father and her brother both knew that she could not stop them from doing all these horrible things to her.

Nick was horrified at what Sara went through. All he can do was hold her as she told her story crying. If her father wasn't already dead he would kill him himself. He hated what he had done to Sara, What had happened to her brother Ryan, he wondered if he should ask her. He decided that he needed to know.

"Sar, where is your brother at?"

"Nick after Mom killed Dad they put us together in the same foster home thinking that after Mom killed Dad that we needed to stay together. Boy were they wrong. You see Mom went nuts when she killed Dad. She was catatonic. My brother Ryan cleaned me up and the evidence of what Dad was doing to me when she stabbed him. He told me not to say anything about what Dad and he had done to me or he would hurt and kill me. I believed him. So I didn't say anything. We had been taught that the police were bad and that they would hurt you. So I kept my mouth shut and Ryan told the police that Mom had been seeing someone behind Dad's back and when Dad confronted her in my bedroom while Mom was making the bed. With her adultery exposed, she went and got a knife and stabbed him six times, then went catatonic."

Since she was catatonic, she couldn't tell them any different. So the police believed her brother. They had no reason not to. Why would a sixteen year old lie to them? Case closed. Her mother went to a sanitarium and the state sent her and her brother to the same foster home.

Sara stopped for a moment to compose herself some before she continued. Nick continued to rub her back and hold her in his arms.

The couple that was our foster parents worked the night shift. Ryan told them that he would watch out for me so they wouldn't have to hire anyone. They thought that was wonderful, that a brother cared that much about his sister to take care of her.

"Ryan had a girlfriend by this time and she would come over and they would make out but she wouldn't put out. When she was gone he was all hot and bothered, so he would come into my room and rape me like he did before, saying dirty words to me as he did it. Telling me how good I was.

This went on for two years until Ryan was eighteen. His girlfriend wanted to wait until she was married to have sex. She thought her boyfriend was so understanding but she didn't realize Sara was paying the price until one night she was at a friend's house at a sleep over. His girlfriend got him all hot and bothered and she wasn't there so he told his girlfriend it was time to put out. He grabbed her tits. She told him no and slapped his face. He lost it and shoved her down on the floor and raped her two times and made her suck him off before he was finished. She went to the police even though he threatened her. He went to prison and they never found out what he did to Sara.

Two years later Sara went to Harvard and put it behind her.

Sara told Nick "I usually don't have nightmares, just once in a while. My ex-husband wondered if something had happened to me but I never told him. Besides a counselor that I went to see, no one knows except for you. I trust you Nick." Sara finished up and was emotionally exhausted. Again it was hard for her to tell Nick what all had happened but he needed to know what he was letting himself in to.

Nick didn't know what to say, I'm sorry sounded so useless in this situation. He was shocked and horrified at what she had been through; that Sara had lived through that; but Nick was going to be there for Sara no matter what. He loved her and that meant taking all of Sara, not just the good but the bad also.

"Sar, I'm here for you no matter what, I will be here whenever you need me, to just talk to, to hold you, to hold onto when you need someone. Not just as a friend but as a boyfriend too. I want to help you through this if you will let me."

"Nicky thank you for saying that I do appreciate it and I know you will be here for me. This usually doesn't affect me like this. I only have the nightmares once in a while now but, when I have a rape or domestic violence case or when I talk about it and remember what I went through the nightmares come. This is the first one I've had in two months. Nick I told you this because I really do care about you and I trust you. You have always been there for me and I thought you deserved to know if you are going to be in my life romantically. You have a right to know what I have been through."

"Sara I am if you'll let me be there romantically. I can't think of anything I want more than that." Nick said while looking at Sara with hope in his eyes.

"Thank you Nick for taking me as I am and still being here after I told you what happened to me. You didn't run out the door. I thought you might not want me if I told you what my father and brother had done to me and what they made me do."

"Sar you are what you make of yourself and you have made yourself into an amazing woman who I am honored to call you my girlfriend if you'll let me? I want to be your boyfriend Sara, so what do you say Sunshine?" Nick wore his heart on his sleeve like always. You never have to guess with him.

"Well Cowboy you have got yourself a girlfriend." Sara yawned after she says this. It had been a long, emotional day and she was worn out.

"Let's try to go back to sleep. You think you can?" Nick asked worried about Sara seeing how tired she was.

"Yes just hold me Nick." They laid back down and Nick took her in his arms spooning behind her.

"My pleasure darlin'. Wake me up if you need me okay?"

"Okay Nick Thanks"

"You are very welcome Sara."

Nick held Sara in his arms as she fell back to sleep, dreaming of Nick. Sara didn't have any more nightmares that night. Nick and her slept until the middle of the afternoon.