Hero's Bane
Chapter 55: Does Not Change
Edited 5/2/2022
Herobrine gnashed his teeth in frustration, the brick in his hand was cracked along the edges and now completely useless. He carelessly chucked the useless thing over the side of his shoulder which landed in a pile of cracked and broken bricks. The being sighed as he plucked another from a neat stack and placed it upon the wall of bricks, covering over the rough and grainy texture of Netherrack. After placing that brick he scooped up another and it broke in two as he moved it closer to the wall, he then angrily tightened his grasp and crushed the broken pieces into smaller bits.
"Having some trouble there?"
-That voice?- The old hero swung his head to his side and looked down the new corridor he recently created to find a man in silver armor with identical looks walking towards him. "Lionel?" Herobrine quickly softened his annoyed features.
"You must have got the bricks too hot while smelting, looks like you sort of over-cooked them and made them too fragile. You do know how to make good bricks don't you?" The man asked. "I know you made a lot of them out of stone back at the fortress but this stuff looks very different." The human double said with a small smile as he approached Herobrine. He stopped within two blocks of the immortal and crossed his arms with a playful grin, he lightly moved a chunk of a broken brick with the tip of his boot from the discard pile. "Yeah, these dark red bricks definitely look crumbly."
"Lionel, why are you here?" Herobrine asked from his crouched position as he looked down the other end of the hall, the only exit of the new corridor he was making in the Nether fortress was to his right, but here is his long deceased friend from his left. It didn't make sense of how he was there in the first place, the side was a dead end that he carved out of the Netherrack mountain. The most strangest part was Lionel showing up in the Nether of all places in the flesh, he had been dead and gone for centuries now.
"It's been a very long time brother, just thought I would come up and check on ya." Lionel stepped closer to Herobrine and placed a hand down on the being's shoulder.
Herobrine looked at the hand on his shoulder quizzically and there it was; fleshed and small pulses flowed through it indicating a heartbeat, life. There was no denying that he could feel it, the sentinel's hand was actually cold. It was strange. It was like his brother was still alive and had just came from the Overworld.
"Something wrong Herobrine?" Lionel's smile faded a bit as he tilted his head with a concerned expression developing on his face. "Something is bothering you brother, I can see it on your face."
"I am fine. There is no need to worry. So why are you here?"
Lionel removed his hand. "You look angry and confused."
The being sighed before turning his attention back to his pile of Nether-ish bricks and placed them over top of each other to continue creating the wall. If there was one thing that Lionel often did to annoy him, then it would be to ignore his questions and ask some of his own or change the subject completely; he usually did that when something would trouble the old hero in hopes of either getting the being's mind off of his problems or to make him feel better. Many times it didn't help, only annoy. Herobrine wasn't as annoyed as he used to be; now seeing his greatly missed friend was something nice for a change, but the sentinel wasn't giving him a direct answer and it aggravated him a little. "I'm not angry, just frustrated. Confused? Yes, I have been having a lot of confusion lately." He placed another brick perfectly on the stack and glanced over to his side as another suddenly came down to the side of his. Herobrine saw the sentinel down on his knees searching through good bricks from a different pile nearby and plucking out some good ones before placing them down carefully. Herobrine didn't need the help, but he didn't mind it.
"These bricks are way too dry, crumbly, and hot. Are they always like this?" The double held one in his hands and then attempted to chip off of a piece only to fail, he grunted a few times as he tried again. "Okay, maybe this one's good." He laughed to himself and placed it on the developing wall.
"Lionel?"
"What?" He asked with a bit of annoyance as the being pulled a brick out of his hands. "Hey, I just picked that up, and it's a good one!"
Herobrine quickly scanned the object before tossing it away despite being a useful brick. "Forget the bricks, why are you here?" He asked with his eyes locked intently on the sentinel.
The armored man huffed softly and rubbed the back of his neck as he leaned back a bit. "Come on Brine, you know me. Just worrying about you is all."
"There's something else isn't there? Another reason. Quit beating around the bush and just tell me already." Herobrine lightly narrowed his eyes and stood up.
Lionel looked away for a brief moment, a deep frown formed on his face. "You are having inner conflict Herobrine." He then got off of his knees to stand and finally moved his saddened eyes back to the demi-god, he was troubled. "You may have been dismissing it out of anger and confusion, but it's there and you keep trying to ignore it though deep inside you really can't. You're letting things that happened in the past and the things the miner has been telling you and showing you build up in your mind and clash. This problem is becoming more harder to ignore and it's affecting the way you think and the things you do, it's now becoming more difficult for you to kill people."
"I hate them. Killing them is easy." Herobrine growled lowly in his protest.
"You hate humans but you don't hate that miner Steve. You even seem to trust him."
"I have yet to kill him but I will within time."
"You've been holding back for a while now. It's because he reminds you of me isn't it?" The silver sentinel tilted his head and folded his arms.
"That is one reason but-" Herobrine exhaled loudly. "But he has earned my trust."
"That's not all." Lionel added. "He's saved your life, spared you of pain, gave up the power of your blade and returned it to you, offered you a token of friendship, fought fear to show you that he was worthy of trust, and he even threw his life on the line to get you to understand that he meant to keep his promises."
"What he has said and done cannot change me, nor the things I must do." Herobrine exhaled loudly and folded his arms.
"Well that is where you are wrong Herobrine. You continue to deny that you have changed but you have, you don't want to change but it's already happened and you haven't fully realized it."
"I did not change! I haven't and I won't!" He barked in defense.
Lionel's expression warped into a more serious one. "You have and you even admitted it to yourself before, so why do you deny it now? This is why you are having this inner conflict, it's because you don't 'want' to realize the truth because you are not open to change; you don't want it. Though you are aware of it, you continue to deny it. You are afraid of what would happen if you turn a new leaf, you don't want to face betrayal again, you don't want to risk losing everything again, but most importantly; you are scared of being prey to something more powerful if you don't live up to it's demands."
Herobrine sneered and dropped his folded arms but kept his hands at his sides with tightly coiled fingers, he didn't want to lash out at his only friend but the urge was growing. Those words the man spoke were of the truth but he didn't want the truth spoken, his pride was failing with each word and a kind of fear was now settling inside and making him feel vulnerable; though before being condemned and punished he never had anything to truly fear and he had become too comfortable with being a fearless man. That all has changed though, he hated the sense of fear. "I have a debt that has yet to be fully paid, I have no choice." He said with hiss underneath his words.
"You do have a choice, you just don't want to go with it." The armored man gestured.
"Lionel, we've made oaths long ago to full fill every last debt we owed, and now you are saying that I should break mine?"
Lionel swayed his head from side to side in disagreement. "I never said anything about breaking the oath, only that you are changing and that you have a choice. You have changed greatly, now feeling sick from killing people instead of enjoyment. Herobrine, you are finally having trouble killing them after all these years, your desire to claim their lives is now fading and that is why you have been putting off your hunt though you know you have to kill more of them real soon. And no, you shouldn't break your oath, but there are many ways to pay debts; you just need to find another way. Besides, haven't you paid enough to that monster?"
"No, there cannot be another way. The End lord wants 'human' souls and a never ending demand of them, there is nothing more that I can give the beast. It wants Notch dead but I cannot kill that god, let alone reach his height in power." The powerful man looked away with a toothy scowl and shook his fists.
"For the love of Notch, ask if there is another way."
"No! The beast and I share common ground. He wants what I want. Revenge." Herobrine started with a scowl, getting heated from the very name of his punisher. "Notch has abandoned us in desolate realms; completely isolated and cut off from the world, left us alone to suffer pain and silence for all eternity. The beast wants Notch's precious being's souls for his own purposes and I want the humans to pay for what they did to me… and you. By killing them and harvesting their essences; the beast gets to do whatever he wishes with them and that is the payment he wants. The End lord freed me of paralysis, gave me power, and opened a gate for my escape, in return I made a solemn oath to collect the souls for him and that is what I must do until he is completely satisfied and relinquishes me from the debt. Even after that I would likely continue to take retribution to the Minecraftian god and kill his creations."
The sentinel gaped in shock. "Listen to yourself Brine. This isn't you, not the old you! Not the one I used to know." Lionel's expression fell into a distressing one. "I know that people have treated you badly and tortured you over something you had done by accident, though it wasn't your fault. And for what Notch did, I don't even know what to say. But still, killing people? Taking souls? This is madness, it always has been! You know that killing is wrong!"
"I will not change." Herobrine calmed his tone.
"Not even for me brother?" He plead, the atmosphere fell into silence.
The being oddly found himself looking directly into Lionel's eyes, even if it hurt. "No."
That simple reply had the sentinel looking down at his feet as he started to back away, he looked absolutely disheartened and almost betrayed.
The sentinel's sad expression made Herobrine blink and return to his senses. "Wait?" He stepped forward with his hand outstretched but his brother kept taking steps back.
Lionel stopped once he was a good distance from his friend, he shook his head in disbelief. He quietly chuckled to himself in hysterics. "All of this is pointless. You can't change for me anyways, I am nobody. I practically don't even exist. Why did I even try? I must be the side of doubt too."
"Li-"
"I'm only a fragment of your subconscious."
Herobrine raised a brow and stepped forward again. "What are you saying? You are my best friend, my brother." He stretched his arm out again for the sentinel and moved forward.
Lionel swung his head back and forth again and spoke lowly with a sad smile, keeping his gaze on the floor. "You keep denying the things I say but that's why I am here, that's my purpose of being here in the first place." He said quietly to himself but he knew the being heard him.
"What are you saying Lionel? Answer me." He moved closer but the armored man kept taking more steps back.
The man nodded. "Yeah. You always came to me when you had problems back then, it didn't matter what it was about; you always sought my opinions and guidance though I was awful at guiding others. Couldn't even properly guide myself. I always had been terrible in giving advice, always will be. I would have made a pathetic leader." He said softly. "You ignored my every word this time, but then again I am not even me. I'm not Lionel. So perhaps it makes sense that I cannot help you since I am not him. Enough pretending."
"What?" Herobrine stopped and gaped as the armored guard finally looked back up at him.
"I am only saying things that you know the 'real' Lionel would say, just like you subconsciously want to hear. You went to him every time you were confused or when you were on the brink of losing it when he was alive, you wouldn't go to anyone else. The Lionel you know however; is no more, you made me in the far recesses of your mind as an attempt to settle this inner conflict as if he was still alive and could really help you. What a great job I did right?" He said with sarcasm hinted in his tone, his quick fake smile fell. "It doesn't really help that I am practically based off of the weaker side of your tattered consciousness."
"Created? No, that's not true." Herobrine stated with confusion.
"Again you disagree? You haven't had a good sleep in years Brine, it's no wonder why you are so confused. You never take enough time to fully think things out or keep your mind open, it's always narrowed and filled with anger and your mind never gets a break. It's constantly stuck on revenge and disdain, lost in rage and in the fog. You let things such as retribution and hate aid you in making decisions. I am the lesser, the reasonable half that is trying to help you. Though, I am practically useless. At least you heard my words and my side of the argument. It'll give you something to think about the next time you make a decision. Hopefully."
"Hold it, if you say that you are a part of me then-?"
"Yes, I am a part of you. The fraction that holds doubt in your malicious decisions, the part that makes you second guess decisions, and the part that is trying to keep Steve alive. Well actually; I am more a physical representation in your dream that 'you' made because of the wars you raged in your mind, you want answers and guidance but you cannot give them to yourself because of your wall of doubt you keep building. My voice and words are yours and what you want to hear from 'him', but him- I am not. You refuse to fully accept the truths and you cannot fully see the changes, so you'll have to go to someone else to settle this conflict." The image of Lionel stopped as the back of his armor clinked from bumping into the sharp rock behind him. He stood quietly at the main end of the hall as Herobrine approached. "I should go now."
"No please don't, I need your help brother." Herobrine stopped within blocks of his double and gave a pleading look. "If you truly are a figment I created then at least try and help me? Please? I am lost. Stay." He plead.
"I was put here by you to fix your inner conflict, so that is what I can try to do I suppose. … No!" He said more loudly with confidence. "I intend to do just that, or lead you in the right direction at least regardless of my previous failures to get you to understand your change." … … He lightly shrugged when he didn't get a response and then peeled himself off of the wall. "Okay, you want answers or any kind of advice from yourself then here's one. Don't kill him."
"How will that help? What's the reason for sparing him then?" He raised a brow.
"Your guess is as good as mine, I am a part of you after all."
"But that doesn't help me."
"Only because you don't want it to, that's why I am reluctant to give reason though you should already know why. You're too stubborn to even listen to yourself, having so much doubt in his kind and even him individually. But seeing as you are willing to listen, I will tell you. You need help, not from a copy you made in your mind like me, but from someone real who understands you. If there's anyone you know that you can even reach out to and talk to with, to trust; then it's him. Steve can help you more than yourself." He shrugged. "I mean sure. Maybe he brings back bad memories, the uncontrollable rage, and raises only more confusion; but he's the only one who can answer your questions from his actions.
He's the only one since your return to the Overworld who has fought you and survived long enough to learn of your past and survive your rage, one who is strictly determined to change you at the cost of his own life; to the benefit of you and everyone else. If you had realized any kind of change in yourself through observing him by now; then you would know that you have become more lenient and calm. More hesitant in killing and showing more mercy than ever. You have opened yourself to trust and now you seem even more reluctant to end him, not just because he reminds your real friend Lionel but because he has become a friend to you in a way."
The powerful double looked away with his arms folded.
"You may wish to deny that too, understandable. Whether I said it because it's what you think the real Lionel would say, or just because you really long for that companionship you once shared with your brother; I threw it out there. No, let me rephrase that. 'You' threw it out there. It's time to stop pride, resentment, and distrust in others from blocking your true thoughts and being who you once were. It may take time to rediscover yourself, but first you have to fight your inner demons and settle this debt, maybe Steve can help you? I-… We- don't know how just yet, but maybe he could find a way. He is a lot like his distant possible predecessor."
"He's- he's my enemy." Herobrine lightly narrowed his eyes.
"But you are not his. He doesn't want you to be."
"He only pities me, I hate pity." The old hero said coldly as he turned his head back around.
"That doesn't matter, he went through the trials of trust and nearly died to prove himself trustworthy. Don't let his effort go to waste. Honor it. Honor the word of sacrifice like you used to." He gestured. "Lionel paid a great price to protect you and Steve is paying one now by slowly dying in this merciless world to prove that not all of humankind is the same, he's sacrificed enough as it is to keep promises, to build trust, to make change. He also disagrees with you when you call yourself a monster, he does not see you as one. There is nothing about him that makes him your enemy anymore, his quest for the shrine has ended. He seems to have no intention to purge you from existence."
Herobrine clasped the sides of his head and applied pressure from an ache springing out of the blue, a sharp ache that pulsed painfully. "WHARRRAAAA! I don't know what to do!" He grimaced and threw his head back.
"You also long for the days when you were contented, but you cannot truly relive that part of the past. So it's time to wake up and make a decision." The Lionel copy said with a pained tone, a hand now clasped on his forehead with a stirring pain forming.
"There is something… wrong with me!" Herobrine screamed aloud and snorted from the acute pain.
A different loud scream echoed from down the corridor and Herobrine quickly turned around to hear the familiar voice. It was the miner's.
"He's in trouble Brine." The copy of Lionel winced.
"Steve." Herobrine began to sprint down the hall.
"You won't find him here!"
This made the being skid to a stop and turn to face the image sentinel but as he turned his back the man was gone and nowhere to be seen, his voice however continued to ring in Herobrine's ears without being present. "Where is he?"
"Wake up Herobrine." The voice came more softly. "Just … wake up."
…
Herobrine's eyes suddenly snapped open and he instantly fell onto his feet from the air, no longer suspended in the state of slumber. -A dream?- He moved a hand up and rubbed his aching temples. It was a strange one and it left with a splitting headache. He really hadn't slept good in years, every dream he ever had back in the day was nothing like this one, or could even compare to it. Dreaming was something of the past now, he stopped sleeping once he was sent to the Nether and began meditating instead, only to relieve himself of daily burns and aches. He also learned to channel his power and make it into something new, doing this however; did little to break his paralyzing curse. It was hard to sleep anyways with the obnoxious sounds of the mobs and crackling flames.
After his freedom however; he started invading human's dreams and fueled himself off of producing nightmares and fed off of the energy it created. Having a dream himself after so long and getting nothing from it was disappointing. It didn't rejuvenate him like it should have, but rather made him feel mentally drained. It wasn't much of a nightmare, but it was still unpleasant and left him with unwanted answers. Lionel wasn't himself in that dream and this made the powerful being deeply frown. It was bad enough that his friend was some figment that he created to fix his inner tension, even worse that he hadn't noticed he was dreaming sooner. He could have woken up and ended it quicker and possibly avoid the pain and confusion.
Even if that Lionel wasn't the real one, Herobrine knew that what he spoke of was the truth. The harsh and unforgiving truth he didn't want to accept. Though changing wasn't something he wanted, that idea of relying on a mortal to help him was ridiculous. With the exception of Lionel of course but still, that copy insisted that the hero become friends with the miner to practically get guidance and advice from him; but that was preposterous. Herobrine didn't need help, he couldn't even understand what the copy of the sentinel was getting at. He didn't say exactly how the miner could help him anyways. It's not like Steve could erase his debt.
Just as that thought finished he heard another loud cry and then he remembered why he had awoke in the first place and this one was a pained one. Herobrine dashed quickly out of his chamber and stopped as another lower cry sounded. He closed his eyes and listened carefully to hear a hiss from the mortal and with his excellent hearing he could tell that the miner was close by and not three stories up where he should be.
…
Steve clutched tightly to his right forearm and winced from the continuous hot sting, he had been trying to dodge the blazing mob's fireballs and unfortunately was too slow to evade one of them. The fire ate at his flesh and left a charcoal-colored spot where he patted away the flames, he was lucky that the fireball only partially grazed him and burned a little at his flesh. It wasn't a serious injury like he thought it would be, but it hurt a lot and the painful sensation refused to let up and dissipate.
He was getting tired quick and his body was still way too sore from his fall, this strenuous movement didn't help him and neither did the damaged bridge. He had managed to slowly jog across the overpass to avoid the fireballs flying at him but the dark red structure abruptly ended with a huge portion missing, leaving a splintery end of Nertherbrick and a gap that was too far to jump across. Now his back was to the end of the bridge and the fiery mob was getting closer while making more precise throws of flaming spheres, Steve had already got hit by one and now with the approaching monster it was becoming more harder to dodge with nowhere to go and little space to move around on. The miner was burning up quickly from the rising heat of the lava below and panting more heavily, he now wished he didn't make the jump because he was exposed to the extreme heat and more dangerous mobs.
His fright filled eyes couldn't stay on the mob in front of him, he needed to worry on the nearing danger but his blue orbs kept jumping towards a huge white mob floating around to his right. The weeping creature was quite the distance away but it was flying around pretty quickly and it would only be a matter of time before it set's it's tear-stained eyes on him.
With virtually no option; Steve forced himself into a better bearing and took rapid breaths to get enough air flowing into his lungs, this made them ache badly with the hint of smoke and sulfur going into them and he coughed a few times from the irritating particles he inhaled. He barely ducked in time with his rough coughs as another ball of flames flew overhead. The miner unwillingly took more deeper breaths and found it harder to breathe then he did before, the fortress was hot inside but it wasn't this intense and the air wasn't so thin either.
"This is it." He took in another gulp of tainted oxygen and looked at the fortress behind the floating mob, all he had to do was get passed it and then-.
"You cannot outrun it, not without sustaining great injury or even death."
Steve stiffened up a little and tilted his head enough to see the White-Eyed man at the main end of the rail, just inches away from the gap in the bridge. Herobrine was precariously perched at the very edge with his arms crossed and an irritated expression on his face.
"Don't stand there and gawk at me mort-… Steve. Never take your eyes off of your enemy."
Hearing that made Steve turn his head back around to see fire flying at him and it was too quick to dodge. Before the fire impacted him he felt a shove against his shoulder and he stumbled to his side, unintentionally evading the fireball. He quickly regained his balance and saw Herobrine standing close by. "Thank yo-"
"Don't thank me!" Herobrine nastily interrupted with one of his eyes trained on the human. "You shouldn't have been down here anyways! I told you that going outside or down the stairs would be ill advised, you should have paid heed to my warning!" He growled.
"I didn't mean t-"
"Doesn't matter, not at as now. Your punishment for going against my word is to fight this mob, either it dies or you do." He said with anger as he held out his hand.
The miner quickly glanced away from the surprisingly retreating hostile mob as a fizzling sound filled his ears, he saw a gray sword form in Herobrine's hands and he quickly caught it by the handle as the being tossed it to him. Steve looked down upon the heavy object to find that it was made of stone. There was a large crack along the base of the blade that ran through the main center and towards the tip and his initials were engraved into the wooden handle, this sword was his. "My lucky blade?" He asked curiously as he looked back at Herobrine to see the being lightly nod.
"Yes, it is. I don't have any use of it, but you do now. Make it count."