A/N: Hello again to you all. I can't seem to stay away from the skins fandom, and, starting this fic is probably not too wise as I have another going. But still, this is floating in my head and I need to get it out. This is a big risk as it's going to be an epistolary story. This isn't going to be happy and cheerful at first as it takes place right after Skins Fire, but.. You'll see. It may be a bit short, but it's to announce the story.

March 10th,

Naomi, my dearest friend,

Apology is the first word that comes to my mind writing this. Sadness, the second as these are the last words I'll ever say to you. How I wish I didn't have to let you go. I realize that I will never get to see your face again. Will never have the chance to say goodbye. This is me, saying goodbye. I wish I could hold your hand, squeeze it, memorize it before letting it go but I'll have none of these chances. I'll settle for a letter in custody. Maybe I deserve it, maybe I don't.. I cannot be the judge of that anymore. But you sure don't deserve to die. You were like a soft light, a warmth that kept me together. Held me together. You were like this extended hand I could reach out to and I'll never be sorry enough that I failed to offer mine at the time you needed it the most.

I need you to know that you made my life easier. Brighter. In the six years we've known each others, I felt like I had this little ball of light inside me. This light that will never go out. If anything, it feels like a fire that fuels me. You made me stronger. You know, you made me want to live with this incredible desire to conquer. On pain, on death, on life. Today again, I have to get ready to fight with all I have, because I'm making this promise to you, that no matter where I am, no matter what restraint my body, this unperfect envelope of my soul, I'll look after her. I'll look after the other half of you.

My words to you are far from finished, never will be. You are my friend, a piece of myself, a piece of what I used to be and what I will become. You may fade away from my sight, my touch and my ears, but you won't fade from my mind and there you will live as long as I do.

Naomi, my dearest friend, my lovely companion. I have been honoured to share a bit of my life with you. I leave you for now, until our last goodbye.

I love you tenderly.

Farewell, Effy.

April 1st,

Love,

It is with the most serene mind that I lay these words down for you. As you're reading it, I might already be away. I am terribly sorry to let you go through this life without me. You and me, we are like this magnificent force that is unstoppable. I may be going, but my truest love, it doesn't stop just because I'm not here anymore. I'm passing my strength on to you, so you can be unstoppable without me. You have to push through. You were always the stronger one. You fought until the end for me. For us. I'm sorry I couldn't fight this.

You are the most beautiful, Ems. You were made out of perfection, carved into sweetness. I breathed desire out of your skin, and you were like my second oxygen. You ignited me with something that resembled raging fire, and for you I'd have braved mountains. You completed me, like I was missing something for so long. It's what they all mean, you know. We fit. We are made to complete each others and we have. I found it and you did too.

Now, I refuse to say goodbye to you. Because I'm not leaving you. I am yours for all eternity and death can't take that away from us. I'll live through you, because I like to think that I am partly responsible for the magnificent woman you've become, the one I am so proud of. The only one I have ever loved.

You make my heart swell Emily Fitch. Always have. Don't forget me.

I'll see you on the other side.

Naoms.

April 5th.

Dear Effy,

Firstly, tell me in your next letter how you're doing in custody. I'll visit as soon as I can, yeah ? I know being back there is hard, especially after the funeral. I could have called but I don't trust myself enough not to cry. Not yet. Though I'd have liked to hear your voice. It's safer with words on paper. You know. So much has happened in the last few days. I feel like I'm numbed and the awakening, it's going to be rude. But I have to be strong for Emily. I have to be the stronger one. I'm scared to hell that she's going to crack under the weight of the loss. She's always surprised me but this is like nothing she ever had to go through.

Help me, please ? I still have troubles sleeping, the vision of the oak casket being lowered into the ground. The earth taking her back. Emily's hand so tightly gripped to mine while she's silently crying her heart out. You, on the other side, your hand so graciously tucked in mine. Sweet contrast with Emily's. Gina soft whispers of prayers for her dead daughter. How is any of this fair ? You're away in fucking prison, Naomi and Freddie are dead. Emily's dead inside. A part of her was burried underground, never to be found again.

How do we start to live again ? How did you ? How can I be the person I need to be for her, when I can barely be that for myself ? So many unresolved questions, that will probably never be. If only you could be here. As scared as it can be, I have never felt more safe than when you hold my hand. More surprisingly, I never felt more strong than when you kissed me. And I never felt more brave than when I kissed you back.

Can we really blame it on the grief ? That I can't answer yet. And it is kind of scary.

Hope I hear from you soon.

Be well, Katie.