I'm sorry that I can't update as often as I would like. Work consists of a two-hour commute each way. Most days I'm too tired to even contemplate writing.

This chapter is perhaps more of a filler. Nothing too major. The next time I update, I'll have this story done. I think I'm planning three more chapters. Thank you for sticking with me through these months later updates. Enjoy!

Oliver wanted nothing more than to ride his motorcycle as fast and as far away as he could, to get away from the feelings pounding him from all sides. He didn't want to have to explain to Diggle and Felicity what happened tonight. How could he tell them a boy died because of him? How could he look Felicity in the eyes and let her know he left the boy there on the dirty sidewalk? He didn't want to go back but ten minutes after leaving Matheus, he was keying in the code to enter the lair.

He found Felicity in front of her computer screens, hands flying across the keyboard as she sifted through the files on a disc he recovered last night. Pausing at the bottom of the steps, he watched as she tapped her foot along to the beat of the music coming through her headphones. Felicity at her computers, engrossed in data, was such a normal scene, that some of the chaos in his mind calmed. He still wanted to flee; to make himself forget tonight. But seeing her there, he knew he couldn't leave. He couldn't disappear on her again.

Tonight was supposed to be an easy night. He was doing his regular patrols while she searched through information on a disc. Digg took the night off to spend time with Carly. Nothing was supposed to happen.

He should have just done surveillance instead of confronting him. Digg and Felicity weren't in his ears as backup. If he hadn't gotten cocky and confronted him, that kid would still be alive. Shutting his eyes, Oliver could still see the life leaving the boys eyes. He wanted nothing more than to go back to earlier that night and let Matheus pass him by.

He walked over to wear Felicity sat, Arrow gear still on, and stopped behind her. Reaching out, he dropped his hand to her should. Felicity jumped up in the air and let out a short scream, headphones flying to the floor. Eyes wide and hand pressed to her chest, she gave a mental sigh of relief when she saw it was just Oliver. She really needed to have an alert set up on her computer to let her know when anyone came in.

"Oliver," she exclaimed, "You scared me." Bending down, she picked her headphones off the floor and placed them back on her desk. "You were patrolling longer than you said you would be."

An alert from her computer had her turning back around to see what new information had been extracted from the disc. Fingers flying across the keys, she didn't realize that Oliver was still standing there, staring at her.

"I think I found something," she said distractedly. "It looks like Matheus is trying to set up shop somewhere in the Glades."

Team Arrow, as Felicity referred to them, had been looking for Matheus for two months. He specialized in human and drug trafficking. Oliver wanted him off the streets bad, especially after rescuing several women from one of his brothels. But like the snake he was, he slithered away before he could be caught.

Felicity turned around, excited at this new information. If they could find out where, they could stop Matheus from opening another of his brothels.

"Oli..." she began, but trailed off when she finally noticed something wasn't right with Oliver. His jaw was clenched, his stance completely still and his eyes tortured. Something happened tonight.

"What happened?" She asked. A part of her was afraid to know. She'd only seen Oliver like this once before. After Tommy died. "Oh God! Did somebody die?"

Oliver heard her question. He knew as soon as he told her, it would be real. There would be no hiding from the truth. He shut his eyes in pain, attempting to blot out the image of the boy, knowing he never would. The sound of his body dropping to the ground, the fear in his eyes, would stay with him forever.

"I saw Matheus," he began. "I couldn't let the chance to catch him get away."

"You went after him alone?" She stated.

He nodded his head. "I couldn't let him get away. I confronted him, told him to turn himself in or he'd have to deal with me. He decided to pull a gun.."

Felicity gasped, looking him over.

"I'm fine," he assured her. "I leapt out of the way and even managed to shoot him with an arrow." He rubbed his hand over his face and turned away from her. "I wish he had shot me."

"Oliver, please don't," she cried. "Don't say that."

He turned back around and faced her, anguish all over his face. "Better me than the boy who died in my arms tonight."

Felicity gasped, shock clear in her eyes. How could she respond to the look of complete despair in his eyes? A child dead wasn't okay. Oliver and his all consuming need to keep the city safe, will have a hard time getting past this. She wasn't sure if he'd ever get past it.

"I'm so sorry Oliver," she said. She carefully reached up and cupped his cheek with her hand. "It's not your fault."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. His eyes raged as he said, "It is my fault. Matheus would have never pulled his gun if I hadn't confronted him. That boy would still be alive."

She knew she had to choose her words carefully. Hearing him, seeing the wild look in his eyes, she knew he was on the edge.

"Listen to me Oliver. This is not your fault. Matheus is a horrible man who needs to be locked away. He killed that boy. Not you!"

He didn't want to believe her. "If I...if I hadn't confronted him..."

Felicity shook her head. "You will not blame yourself. He is responsible, not you."

Oliver lowered his head to her neck and slumped his shoulders. Defeated is how she would describe his stance. How was she going to get him back to being the Arrow instead of the defeated broken man in front of her?