Chapter 2:

Noah whined as he sleepily rubbed his eyes, getting angry with himself because he didn't want to go to sleep. His little actions mesmorized Clarke but also frustrated her. She was exhausted and she knew she had to talk to Bellamy about the upcoming winter. It was a vital thing—they barely survived the first one and now infants and pregnant women were involved. She pleaded with the infant, "Noah, please sleep." She begged and for a moment, he closed his eyes but he quickly regained his sense of evasion and started to whimper again.

As if on cue, her partner pushed back the tent flap and entered her tent with extended arms towards the child. She hesitated, but felt obligated to explore other options for the child's sake. Clarke looked at Bellamy, knowing he hadn't come here to help her with the baby but preform the "sacred ritual" that often led to a baby. She bit her lip as she looked at him and he sent her a charming half smile. "He's so tired." She said when the fantasy of ripping Bellamy's clothes off and taking him on her bed evaporated with another faint cry from Noah's lips. "Honestly, I don't know when he started doing this. Does that make me a bad mo—" She stopped midsentence, correcting herself immediately. "Child care provider."

Bellamy sighed, "You don't have to be guilty for saying what everyone else, including Miller, is thinking. Haley is a dead beat, shitty mom and if Noah didn't have you...well, I wouldn't want to know what his life would be like."

"Miller's a good dad." Clarke said as if Bellamy didn't already know. He responded with a frown as he tried to brush through the child's hair lovingly enough to convince him to sleep. He failed miserably because Noah started to wail once more. Clarke felt a sharp annoyance in her brain and she realized that she really needed to sleep. She loved Noah so much but there was only so much deprivation she could handle before she became the on-edge person she was a year ago with a slightly manic tinge.

"Yeah because he's got someone else being the mother. You." Bellamy cleared his throat, "At least I know you don't have commitment issues and it's really just me."

"It's not you." Clarke told him with a heavy sigh as they embarked the conversation again, "I don't know why you're pushing this. I thought sex was good enough for you. I thought that's where we drew the line." Her hand pressed against her forehead as she fought herself to proceed with a convincing argument rather than letting her subconscious take over and speak recklessly for her.

"Maybe sex isn't enough anymore." He said determined to let her see that he meant it, "We are constantly changing but I'm not allowed to ask for a relationship beyond casual sex and some over the clothes action? You and I both know that isn't fair and that isn't what you want."

Clarke stood still, watching Bellamy sway and talk to her about deeper relationships with a curious and inclined gleam in her eyes. "I like you, Bellamy." It seemed to be the only response she could come up with while she thought about a possible future with him. Would this be them with their own baby? Hopefully they would have a child that valued sleep…wishful thinking, really.

"Well, I know that princess. Your little moans tell me that." Of course he would fight the awkwardness and fear of rejection with sexual innuendos. She crossed her arms and glared at him. He shrugged before frowning at Noah when the infant took notice of his moment and started pulling at his own hair angrily. Clarke wanted to take the child away from him but she knew it was a poor idea. Noah would eventually fall asleep in Bellamy's arms and then she could rest for a while. "The thing is Clarke…we aren't even having sex right now and it kind of feels like you're ending this."

"I'm not ending it."

"Then you're leading me on?"

"No."

"Then what, Clarke? Because if you're not ending this and you're not leading me on what the fuck is going on?"

"Really, in front of the baby?"

"He's not going to remember it." Bellamy said, "Just let me know. Throw me a rope or something—pull me up or hang me already."

She sighed, sliding her hand from her forehead to her cheek until it fell by her side. "I'm ready for a family, Bellamy. Are you? Because you seem to be enjoying the life of a single person while claiming you want the benefits of a relationship. I want not just commitment but permanent commitment. I want to have a child. I want someone that can be a father to my child at all times."

"And I can't do that?" He seemed hurt but I shook my head and looked at him.

"You can but you shouldn't feel forced to. Miller is a dad—a good dad—because he accidentally got Haley pregnant. They didn't survive the pregnancy. They barely get along now. Miller is almost always gone with every single search party, every single hunting party…guard duty and we both know he volunteers because as much as they loved Noah it's too much. Why should I ask you to bare that burden with me? Why would you want to?"

"Because it wouldn't be a burden to you." Bellamy said, "Like you said, you want a family. Miller loves his family but he didn't want it. I'm your guy, princess…let me take care of you. You think I haven't thought of having a family? It's crossed my head multiple times due to the fact I raised Octavia… I want to be a father just like you want to be a mother. Everyone's getting pregnant but no one deserves to have a baby like you do."

She exhaled, "As much as I want it…I know…I have to let it pass. It's not the right time."

"Okay." Bellamy said, "So until then…I want to spend my time convincing you that I'm—"

"My guy?" She laughed, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes."

Somewhere between their confessions, Noah had drifted into sleep. Clarke smiled at Bellamy, who returned her look of satisfaction. He opened his mouth to say something but Clarke held a finger to her lips, telling him to put the baby in his specially crafted crib made from a mixture of carved wood and metal. There were quite a few of the cribs being built these days as more and more girls became pregnant. "So…"

"We're still not having sex when he's four feet away from the bed."

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