Next chapter will be posted on Thursday.
Enjoy!
Sam flinched away from Demon. The man wasn't being literal, was he? Demon was crazed but was he that far gone? Sam couldn't tell.
"Demon! Don't touch him!" Dean snarled.
Demon ignored Dean, his predatory gaze focused solely on Sam. "So tell me... Sammy... " He growled softly, menacingly. "Are you scared?"
Sam nodded.
Demon slammed his fist into the wall beside Sam's head. "Speak!"
Sam jumped before shakily mumbling "Y-Yes." He stared at Demons hand, it was still in the wall.
"How scared?" He snapped before yanking his hand out of the wall. "Are you scared enough to beg? Plead? I was. It's been years, Sam, years since I've begged."
Sam winced, part of him expecting to get hit or punched.
"You brought everything back. Everything. Every god damn memory I'd tried so fucking hard to forget, you brought them back." He snarled, his anger quickly turning to white hot rage. "All because you wanted your 'revenge' on me... Because I had been upset after a fucking nightmare!"
"I'm sorry!"
"I don't give a fuck." Demon seethed through gritted teeth, his red pupils boring holes into Sam.
"Demon, enough!" Dean yelled.
"Shut up." Demon snapped.
Dean went to reply to Demon but couldn't. That asshole had literally shut him up! He glared daggers at Demon.
Demon grabbed Sam around the throat and slammed him to the ground on his back.
Sam coughed as the wind was knocked out of him. He still couldn't move, Demons hold was still in effect. He stared up at the crazed man with his scary red and black eyes.
Demon stared down at him, glaring angrily. "I'm gonna walk you though what you did to me, every last fucking detail, so you know what you did to me in here." He tapped two fingers to his temple.
"Demon-"
"Shut up! Not one fucking word comes outta your damn mouth, boy, or you'll pay. I swear to god, you'll pay!" Demon snarled down at him.
He suddenly was on his knees straddling Sam, who cowered fearfully. "Look at me!" Demon snapped.
Sam obeyed, not knowing what else to do.
"This was the first thing you did. D'you have any idea how many times this was done to me as a kid? I knew what this meant, what it lead to, when I was four. You brought all those memories back." Demon said clinically, attempting to keep himself detached from his emotions.
Sam stared at him in shock. Four? That was so young! He narrowed his eyes at the sound of Demons voice, it was odd.
Demon slowly leaned over to kiss Sam's neck before whispering in his ear, "This wasn't done to me much, not unless the woman felt bad for what Kent had done to me. It had to be very very bad, for her to kiss me."
Sam tensed as he realized that Demon was re-creating what had happened in the woods.
Demon slowly pulled up Sam's shirt to kiss his stomach before saying, "This wasn't done much either. Kissing, cuddling, all that sappy shit, wasn't done. I was a toy to them, a sex toy, nothing more. They raised Dean to fight and torture, they raised me to fuck and pleasure them."
Demon held out his hand when suddenly Castiel's angel blade flew into his open palm.
"Demon, Stop!" Castiel shouted nervously.
"Shut up." Demon muttered.
Castiel tried to speak but found himself in the same boat as Dean. He was helpless, unable to do anything.
Demon slowly, carefully, cut Sam's shirt in half. The cool blade grazed his flesh but never cut him. "I remember this. This was done a lot, except they were never as careful with the knife as you were. They loved cutting me, seeing my pain. It was the only thing that made them happy."
Sam panted as his panic rose. "Demon, please stop. Please."
Demons head snapped up to meet Sam's eyes. "I said that to you too. Do you remember what you said to me?"
Sam shook his head, he truly didn't.
Demon leaned in closer until his face was inches from Sam's. "You said no. You said I'd forced you to overcome your fears so now you were gonna do the same to me. Problem is, I never forced you. I would've stopped if you said to, if you truly couldn't handle it."
Sam tensed further, if that was possible. He had said that?
"You did one more thing to me, the worst thing." Demon said softly as he tossed Castiels blade to the side.
Sam whimpered softly.
Demon grabbed Sam's belt strap and pulled it out of the belt loop holding it. "This might not seem like much to you, you didn't even undo my belt, but it meant so much to me. Everything started here, with a belt being undone. And you... " Demon paused as he felt himself feeling emotions again. He quickly threw them back and dissociated his mind again.
Sam watched as Demons red pupils disappeared before reappearing. He narrowed his eyes curiously.
"You knew my greatest weakness and used it against me. My only weakness. I trusted you, Sam. You are the first person I'd trusted in decades. My mistake, I guess."
Demon stood up, picking up the angels knife. He walked to Castiel and returned the knife to its sheath, glancing at the angel when he tensed. "Relax, I won't hurt you."
Sam cleared his throat as a tear rolled down his face. "Your eyes, they went back to normal for a second."
"Yup." Demon snapped.
"Your hold on me felt less strong when that happened."
"Me too." Dean said, suddenly able to talk.
Demon got himself a beer and sat at the table. "What happened here is, Sam triggered me so I dissociated my mind so I wouldn't feel the emotional pain he caused me. When I dissociate my eyes change and my power increases for whatever reason. Then I got triggered again by the pissed off angel and went into fight or flight mode which sent an adrenaline induced power surge out of me and since I was dissociated the amount of power was massive. You three got caught in the power surge when that happened. I can't take the hold off you guys until I'm no longer dissociated because I can't control the original power surge when I'm like this. It's complicated, I know. Think of it this way, if a human takes steriods and goes into roid rage, the roid rage doesn't go away until the steroids wear off."
"So... we're stuck like this?!" Dean yelled angrily.
"Kinda, yeah." Demon answered nonchalantly.
"For how long?" Castiel asked, also able to now speak.
"Last time this happened it lasted for five days. It lasts for as long as the memories do."
"Are you freakin serious?! There are no other options?" Dean snapped.
"There's one but there's no way in hell I'm doing it." Demon replied.
"Oh you're doing it! What is it?" Dean asked.
"I'd have to stop dissociating my mind and feel the emotions I'm shutting out. I might hallucinate too depending on how badly Sam triggered me. I'm not doing it." Demon replied.
"You're doing it! We can't stay like this for five damn days, Demon!"
Demon shook his head. "Not doing it."
"Demon, Deans right. We can't stay like this." Sam said softly.
Demon didn't reply, he just took a nice long drink from his beer.
"I can help you through-"
"Shut the fuck up, Sam! This is your fault to begin with, there's no way in hell I'm trusting you again!"
"I could knock you out, put you to sleep for five days so you won't feel anything. I can do it with one touch." Castiel offered.
Demon stared at him. "How do I know you'll keep your promise, angel?"
"I'm an angel of the lord, I do not lie."
"Bullshit." Demon replied.
"I can't do anything to make you trust me, just know that I always keep my promises. Ask Sam."
Demon stood up and slowly walked towards Cas, beer in hand. "Lemme rephrase the question, why would I want to do that? I literally feel nothing right now, everything is numb. My hands, my feet, my head, all numb. Do you have any idea how amazing it feels? Why would I give this up for three people that don't give a shit about me?"
"That's bullshit, Demon! Sam and I care about you!" Dean snapped.
Demon turned to look at Dean. "Oh sure ya do, if Sam needs desensitizing or wants to get fucked. That's my only purpose around here it seems, to train and please Sam. And you on occasion. Other than that, no one talks to me, asks my opinion, whatever. You and Sam do grocery shopping, you and Sam sleep together, you and Sam sit around and have conversations. Does anyone do that with me? Nope! Because that's not my purpose in this little 'family' is it?"
"That's not-"
""Remember when you tried to kill me in the basement? Sam ran in and the first thing he told you was 'You can't kill yourself'. He never mentioned me, Dean. Only you. And you were trying to kill me." Demon snapped.
Dean said nothing, as he thought back he realized Demon was kinda right.
Sam also kept quiet, Demon was right. That night, when Dean had tried to kill Demon, Sam had only cared that Dean might die. He hadn't even thought of Demon.
Demon turned back to the angel. "So tell me, why would I risk my sanity for them if I'm nothing to them?"
Sam narrowed his eyes. "That's not true, Demon. We do care about you. Remember when you were gonna separate yourself from Dean so you could kill yourself? Dean and I wouldn't let you!"
"That's because for some twisted reason you felt guilty because I had almost raped you thinking you were Kent."
"That might be a little bit true but I was scared because I didn't want you to die. I love you, Demon."
Demon stared Sam in the face, watching for any signs of deceit or untruth. He found none. He sighed and ran a hand through his short hair before looking back at the angel. "What if I dream, can you block that?"
"I can't but Sam might be able to. If he's had your blood and you've had his he can go inside your dreams with you and help you stop them, like Dean did with Sam before."
Demon growled angrily. "So I'd have to trust Sam again? Great."
"I was drunk, I'm not now. I promise-"
"Bullshit, Sam! You still think when you're drunk, you're still you. You knew what you were doing but you just didn't care, and look what it did to me! I now have to go through mental hell because of you!" Demon yelled, his voice turning demonic as his pupils glowed an enraged red.
Demon sighed to calm himself. He sat at the kitchen table and threw his head in his hands, rubbing them over his eyes. He sighed again before warily glancing at the three men. "This needs to go quickly because the second I dissociate everything will hit me. The fear, the hallucinations... everything. It'll hit me like a fucking train."
He stared at Dean. "You'll probably need to hold me down. Use your powers, physical force, whatever. Don't hesitate, no matter what, just get me to sleep as fast as you fucking can."
"Okay." Dean promised.
Demon approached Sam. "You've had my blood, I need yours. If you still wanna do this."
Sam nodded. "Of course."
Demon held out his hand as Castiel's blade flew into his palm. He made a shallow cut on Sam's arm before licking the blood off.
Sam tensed at the burning pain but didn't complain. He owed Demon so much, this was nothing compared to what the poor guy would face to let them all go.
Demon returned the knife to Castiel's jacket before sitting at the kitchen table. He sighed shakily before quickly glancing at all three of them.
Sam felt like crying when he saw the wariness in Demons eyes.
"Alright, here we go." Demon said warily as he pushed the wall of dissociation out of his mind. The first thing he felt was sheer terror.