Author's notes:
You can also read this story on my Deviant-Art page: gallery/ (If this link does not work just search for cakeaholic on DA)
(Parts off this story are slightly different from the one that is posted on my DA gallery, but I promise that they're both good and worth reading) :)
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN SOUL EATER OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS K?
THIS IS JUST A FAN FIC MADE BY A FAN.
NO COPYRIGHT IS INTENDED!
This fic follows the anime and not the manga.
The characters Lord Death, Stein, Spirit, Crona and Ragnarok will not be in any future chapters, since this fic mostly focuses on the main gang rather than all the other characters as well, sorry if this disappoints you in any way.
Italics - means the person is thinking just so you know.
Warning: This story is a sad one and I understand if it makes you want to cry, or kill me for making it, as I have been there myself before LOL XD
...
Writer's POV:
It had now been about three days since everyone had learnt about their dear friend's passing and so far it wasn't going well for anyone it would seem. Black Star and Tsubaki were slowly starting to cope with loss of the Reaper, Liz and Patty were struggling to live their life's without their Meister by their side, Soul had more or less come to terms with everything now, while Maka was still very much in denial.
Surprisingly enough Maka was the one taking the news the hardest as with each passing day, she would feel worse and worse. There was a none-stop feeling of emptiness and sadness inside of her soul, she pushed everyone away and stopped talking to them all. She was distant and would never smile anymore. She was what most people would describe as lost and hurting. Every waking second her mind was being haunted by her memories of the late Reaper, they just wouldn't seem to leave her alone.
Soul was scared for his distraught Meister, who would not eat or sleep anymore, so he decided to tell Tsubaki and Black Star to come round for a bit, in order to give him and Maka a little company.
….
Writer's POV:
The young Scythe heard a slight knock on the front door of his and Maka's apartment. He stood up from the sofa and turned the T.V off, before he walked over and answered the door.
"Hey Soul," Black Star and Tsubaki greeted their friend, before he smiled to them and invited them into the apartment.
Soul went back over to the sofa and slumped into it. Black Star sat down beside him, while Tsubaki stood at her Meister's side.
"So where's Maka?" Tsubaki asked with a slightly nervous look on her face.
"She's in her bedroom, as always," Soul answered with a slight sigh.
"How is she?" Black Star asked.
"Where should I start? She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep, she doesn't talk, she just spends every day in her room crying, and she only ever comes out when she needs a drink or something," Soul explained as he sat forward on the sofa and clenched his fists tightly.
Black Star and Tsubaki looked to each other for a moment with worried looks, before Black Star rested a hand on Soul's shoulder and sighed slightly.
"Is it okay if I go and see her?" Tsubaki asked.
"Sure, her room's the second door on the right side of the hallway," Soul stated as he glanced to Tsubaki with tired eyes.
"Thank you," Tsubaki replied with a small bow to Soul, before she walked off to Maka's bedroom.
"So how are you two holding up?" Soul asked as he looked to Black Star.
"Alright I guess, you?" Black Star asked.
"Well apart from having to deal with Maka's constant sleepless nights, and violent attacks towards me when I try to talk to her, I'm getting by fine," Soul answered as he chuckled slightly to his friend.
"She attacks you?" Black Star asked with surprise in his voice.
"Yeah, but it's never anything serious," Soul reassured his friend that he was fine, "But she always seems so lost in her own thoughts that I can't even get through to her anymore," He added.
"She's becoming quite the handful I see than," Black star smiled slightly to Soul.
"She's out of control," Soul whispered as he sighed again, "I had no idea that Kid meant so much to her," He thought out loud, as he ran his fingers through his pure white, spikey hair.
"It is quite strange for her to be acting out this much, even Liz and Patty aren't taking it as hard as she seems to be," Black Star stated.
"Why did that damn Reaper even leave, we should have just let Liz and Patty go with him, if we did none of this would have happened," Soul cursed under his breath.
"You miss him as well, don't you?" Black Star asked as he looked to Soul with a serious stare.
Soul's eyes widened as he looked back to Black Star and seemed a little surprised by his friend's question.
"Well I…..I mean I…." Soul paused for a minute, "Of course I do," He confessed with another sigh.
Black Star just raised an eyebrow to his friend.
"I mean yeah he was annoying and all, but….But he was…." Soul paused again as he turned away from his friend.
"He was what?" Black Star asked, pushing Soul to finish his sentence.
"He was good friend, to all of us," Soul stated before he wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
"I miss him too Soul, we all do," Black Star replied as he smiled to his friend slightly.
The two then suddenly heard Tsubaki calling to them from Maka's bedroom, "SOUL GET IN HERE!"
Soul jumped up from the sofa and ran to Maka's bedroom, shortly followed by Black Star. Soul slammed the door open, making it hit the wall as a loud 'thud' was heard from it.
"What's wrong Tsubaki?" Black Star asked, while Soul and him ran into the room.
Tsubaki was holding Maka by her wrists as she was desperately trying to stop the Scythe Meister from attacking her, "I kept trying to get her attention, and then she just started to scratch at her wrists, they're already bleeding," Tsubaki explained as she struggled against Maka's fighting, while the Scythe Meister tried to feel herself from the other girl's tight grasp, as she kept trying to bite at the weapon's hands so that she would let go of her wrists.
"Don't tell me that she was trying to cut into her veins," Soul said as it was easy to guess from the Scythe reaction that this wasn't the first time that something like this had happened.
"I think that was her goal," Tsubaki sighed slightly as she was slowly losing her grip.
'Not again' Soul thought, before he came and stood beside his Meister, "Tsubaki let go of her," Soul instructed.
Tsubaki quickly obeyed the other weapon as she let go of the other girl's wrists, and stepped back a little.
Maka, now finally free started to scratch at her neck with both hands, before Soul grabbed her wrists and made her stop. "Maka stop this, you need to calm down," Soul stated calmly as he could see that his Meister had somehow already managed to make her neck turn red raw.
Tears streamed down Maka's cheeks as she clenched her teeth together tightly, "LET GO!" She suddenly screamed at her weapon as she started to kick him and tried to bite him.
"Maka I'm not letting go until you calm down and stop hurting yourself," Soul stated, now in a stern voice as he tightened his grip on his Meister's wrists.
"LET GO, LET GO, LET GO, LET GO!" Maka screamed over and over again as she kicked at her weapon harder.
Soul ignored the hard kicks that he was getting from his Meister, and just tightened his grip again.
Tsubaki and Black Star watched in horror as they had never seen someone act this out of control before. Tsubaki covered her mouth as tears started to well up in her eyes, while Black Star just stood there speechless.
"SOUL LET GO! YOU'RE HURTING ME! PLEASE!" Maka pleaded as sharp pains shot through her cut wrists every time that Soul tightened his grip on them.
"Are you going to stop hurting yourself and calm down?" Soul asked sternly as he raised an eyebrow to Maka, while the Scythe Meister's blood started to trickle down Soul hands.
"YES, JUST PLEASE LET GO OF ME!" Maka answered as she stopped kicking Soul and could barely stand the pain that was in both of her wrists right now.
Soul immediately let go of his Meister's cut and now bloody wrists, and wrapped his arms around her in a caring embrace. Maka buried her head into her weapon's shoulder as she started to sob slightly.
Black Star sighed slightly as he was now able to compose himself and turned to his weapon, "Tsubaki, we should go back into the other room," He stated as he rested a hand on his weapon's shoulder.
Tsubaki just nodded as she looked back to her Meister with a scared look in her eyes. The two then left Maka's bedroom and went back into the lounge and sat down on the sofa, while Soul calmed his Meister.
…...
Writer's POV:
A while later Soul came back into the lounge and sighed as he looked to Black Star and Tsubaki, who were still sitting on the sofa. Tsubaki and Black Star looked to Soul with worried looks on their faces.
"How is she?" Tsubaki asked.
"She's calm for now," Soul answered as he slightly glanced back to his Meister's bedroom, before he looked back to his two friends on the sofa and sighed again, as he saw Tsubaki's red bloodshot eyes, and Black Star's worried and still slightly shocked look.
"We knew she wasn't coping well, but I could never guess that she was taking it this hard," Black Star thought out loud as he also sighed slightly.
"I'm guessing by how you handled her, this isn't the first time that this has happened" Tsubaki stated.
"You guessed right, she's been like this since the day after we all heard of Kid's death," Soul replied as he leaned against the wall for a minute.
"Really?" Tsubaki asked a little surprised that this had been going on since they had all heard the news.
"Yeah she didn't want to get up the morning after we heard the news, so I decided to just leave her to get up when she wanted to, but that was a bad decision on my part. She must of gotten up and probably went to the bathroom, because when I went to check on her, I found her lying unconscious on her bed with her wrists slit, and the sharp blade from my razor in her right hand," Soul explained.
"Was she trying to kill herself?" Black Star asked with shock in his voice, while Tsubaki gasped as a look of horror was in her eyes.
"Probably, if I hadn't of gotten to her in time, she would have bleed to death no doubt," Soul stated in a slightly hushed tone.
"That must have been how she was able to make her wrists bleed so easily, when she scratched at them it must opened her wounds," Tsubaki thought out loud.
"Yeah after I was able to bandage her up and get her to wake up, I hid all of the sharp objects in the house, so that she couldn't get a hold of any of them, and have the chance of doing the same thing again," Soul added.
"So that must be way she was just using her nails to cut into her wrists again then," Black Star stated as he sat forward and sighed again.
"And believe it or not, but that wasn't the first time she had tried to kill herself," Soul stated.
"What are you serious, she's done it more than once?" Black Star asked, now with another shocked look on his face.
"Yeah but not the same way. You know the day that we were all told the news, and you guys had lent me a hand when Maka went missing?" Soul asked.
"Yeah?" Black Star answered, while Tsubaki just nodded in reply.
"Well when I finally found her she was standing at the very edge of one of the roof pillars of the school, and was getting to just fall to her death. If I hadn't of found her in time, she wouldn't be here, and Kid wouldn't be the only one that we all would be missing," Soul explained as he thought back to that dreadful day.
"You're kidding…Right?" Black Star asked, while Tsubaki was now speechless.
Soul just shook his head, "I wish I was. It was sheer luck that I was able to grab her hand and pull her back away from the edge, just before her feet left the pillar," He sighed again.
"Well do you know why she's acting out this much?" Black Star asked.
"Every time I ask her, she just says that, 'she needs to see Kid again', and then shuts down on me and acts like I'm not even in the same room as her," Soul answered.
"I never knew she cared and missed him that much," Black Star thought out loud as he slightly looked away from Soul for a minute.
"Yeah neither did I, that damn Reaper," Soul replied with a slight chuckle, before he sighed heavily again.
"So where do you think we should go from here?" Black Star asked, now looking back to Soul again.
"We'll do all we can to help both Maka and you out," Tsubaki added now seeming to have composed herself so that she was finally able to speak up.
"Thanks, but I think I need to have a little talk with her on my own for a bit first," Soul stated with a kind smile to his two friends.
"Are you sure you don't want us there as well?" Tsubaki asked.
"No, I don't want Maka to feel pressured or anything, she'll probably just shut down after a while anyway," Soul declined the other weapon's kind offer.
"Fair enough," Black Star said, while Tsubaki just nodded slightly.
Soul just sighed heavily again as he looked back to his Meister's bedroom for a minute, 'I really hope I can get some answers out of her,' Soul thought before he looked away from Maka's bedroom again.
…
Maka's POV:
I let out a heavy sigh as I lay on my bed with one arm laying over my forehead, while I reflected on my outburst, 'Both Tsubaki and Black Star saw me acting like that. I was like some wild animal. I don't want to keep doing this, but every time I try and relax, memories of Kid keep coming back to me, his face haunts me every signal second of the day and night. Whenever someone tries to help or even just talk to me my heart starts to pound frantically in my chest, my mouth runs dry, I can't speak, and I suddenly start to feel like I can't breathe. And then I just lose it like the person has really angered or upset me in some way, but really they've done nothing but try to be nice and help me out,'
I sighed heavily again as I sat up on my bed and hugged my knees up to my chest, "Why am I doing this to myself? Why do I feel this way?" I asked myself in a hushed tone, as I glanced to my bandaged up wrists (Soul had cleaned and bandaged up Maka's wrists after she had calmed down from her sudden outburst), and traced a finger over where I had cut deep into my skin with Soul's razor blade not too long ago.
'I know that Kid is gone now, and I know that he won't be coming back anytime soon, but I still feel like I need to see him again. I know that none of us were ready to say goodbye to Kid when he left, and I know that none of us are ready to let go of him anytime soon. But I don't think that I'll ever be able to really say goodbye and let go of him.' I slowly moved to the edge of my bed and let my legs dangle of the side of it for a minute.
"I guess the reason for all that is because I had fallen for you Kid," I smiled slightly as I thought out loud and looked to my bedroom window, before I sighed again and stood up from my bed, before I left my room and headed to the bathroom to splash some water on my face for a bit, while I could just about hear Soul quietly talking with Tsubaki and Black Star about me in the lounge.
….
Maka's POV:
I stared at my reflection in the mirror above the bathroom sink and sighed again as I noticed just how awful I looked at the moment.
My eyes were bloodshot red from all the crying, I had big bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep that I had been having these days, my long, dirty blonde hair was tangled up and was all in tight knots from me not brushing it as much as I should do, I had even lost some weight since I hadn't been eating very well (or even at all sometimes) for a few days. I looked like some girl who had been living on the street for a while. I was a complete mess.
'I'm an idiot for falling in love with a stubborn and reckless guy like Kid,' I thought with another heavy sigh as I rested my head against the mirror, and clenched my fists slightly as I held onto the sides of the sink tightly.