As I got away from the table I could hear Maxon calling me, but I couldn't turn round to face him or anybody. I felt that my pride had been taken away in less than a minute, more than sad I felt embarrassed. I felt devastated and out of place. I got to the garden with the last effort of my feet and I fell on a stool, soaked in my own tears and humiliation. I had never considered myself a girl that feel bad about what others say, but now I questioned if what the emperor said was true. I was born a poor girl, yes, I had starved, I sometimes had to quit my studies and use my talents to help my family survive hard times, but all that took me where I was at that moment, but he was right to say that I wasn't exactly a very prudent girl, anyways when those thought left my mind I started thinking about my poor husband, "You said it, he disserves better" that sentence was around my head and squeezed my heart, what if I actually was his biggest mistake?
-There you are! We have to stop meeting each other this way… - he rushed to me but I just couldn't bear to see his face. He sat next to me and stroked my wet cheek –Darling you didn't believe that, right? - He asked like begging me to not feel bad for something like that.
-I actually do have feelings, Maxon! – I said shakily, just to feel him near the guilt came over me again. –If that's what he thinks about me, we'll never have New Asia as an ally! Why do we even try?- Now it was all clear, Emperor Cho didn't hate Maxon or Illéa, he just hated me, for not being born under royal blood, he thought I was just some stupid and lucky girl who had played around with the prince and that's how she got the crown, the man didn't know a thing about love.
-Hey, hey! Don't let this incidents make you feel down. Listen to me, America- he made me look at him eye to eye –You're in the public eye now, you're more than a celebrity, you have an entire country on your hands, people are always going to talk about you for better or worse, the thing is that… you have to learn to let things slide, because no one can really say who you are, no one but you. It's up to them to think whatever they want about you, but it's up to you to build your own self and be happy about it- I sighed while another tear fell from my eyes.
-And what about you, uh? Do you think it's fair for you to be always questioned about having a disastrous and cowardly wife? I want to be the best I can, Maxon, I do…- he wrapped my body in his arms and I hid my face in his shoulder.
-What should you worry about me? I got everything that I've ever wanted. Honey, I can't believe you actually listened to him! I thought you would just say something rude and got away from there, but you were brave and faced his insolent words. I've always thought you were the strongest person I've ever known, and this night is not an exception, not at all. You have to know… that's another reason why I chose you…- I felt it was the moment for our eyes to meet again, I didn't just want to hear his words, I wanted to see them reflected in his look- I was so sure that you'd be someone that could have the power to make me choose the better option no matter if I was afraid or whatever. You, my dear, are the most precious and special thing I have; and if I've ever made a terrible and unforgivable mistake is the one of even thinking about letting you go. Maybe there's no way for you to know, but for me you're already the best, America! You're all that a princess should be and I feel nothing but proud of having the pleasure and honor to have you as my wife, I do not care what that grumpy old man has to say, I love you and always will thank you for loving me back while knowing the price of being with me forever. – After of hearing those beautiful words, the tears of pain turned into tears of joy. And now it was me who couldn't believe my previous behavior, I needed nobody's approbation to promise to spend the rest of my days beside Maxon, I didn't need it when we got married and I would never need it. Everything I wanted was sitting next to me, rubbing my back and doing his best to comfort me. Why would I ask to please everyone when the most important person in my life was always there?
-It's a big, fat price to pay, your royal husbandness!- I giggled, he smiled back and wiped my tears –But I don't really care, if I have to go to hell and back just for a chance to be with you for one miserable second, I would do it without thinking twice. I thought you knew it…-
-I do, I just needed a confirmation. And I'm sorry you had to hear that, I should've stopped him…- he answered and I detected some deception on his voice.
-It's ok. Everybody talks even when they're not supposed to, Maxon, the only way to shut that geezer is sticking his tongue out- he giggled and gave me a kiss on my forehead.
-Let's forget about it. Actually, to hell with this whole parade! Let's get out of here and do what we do best…- he insinuated.
-Fighting? - I asked giving him a little kiss.
-Oh, we should have a Nobel Prize for that, my love! But no… getting away from our first serious Royal Encounter- he reminded me with a smile, he took my hand and guided me to our limo.
-Without saying a thing? - He thought it a bit and then called the guard.
-Please, tell them that we got urgent news from Illéa and we had to go immediately- the guard nodded and left to talk with Princess Daphne.
- I insist. You have no shame! - I said laughing; he made me get closer to him and answered while he kissed me.
-No one can have shame being around you, beautiful- he opened the door for me and our driver came to take us to the hotel.
-Do you think they'll feel hurt or something?- I didn't really care, but I decided to ask anyways.
-Nicoletta will, I'm sure. But the rest of them… It'll be good for them to have a taste of their own medicine- he assured me. I felt bad for leaving without saying goodbye to Nicoletta or Dhini, but I wouldn't go back now! I would write a letter for them both as soon as I got back to Illéa.
-God, Emperor Cho will surely say that I've created a monster!- I answered happily.
-And he would be right, because you've created the luckiest monster of all the world- he whispered and then his lips ran to my neck.
-Here, really?- I wasn´t such a bad idea, but the driver was watching us.
-You really need to learn to interpret better my suggestions- I scowled but his kissed made me smile again.
-Ok, what do you suggest then?-
-I think we shouldn't leave Paris tomorrow without taking a look of its most important building- No way, he was taking me to the Eiffel Tower! I loved when he was such a hopeless romantic!
-I love you so much!- I thanked him throwing my arms around his neck, he laughed.
-If all that I have to do to hear that every day is taking you to cute places, we'll have to travel more!- I knew we probably couldn't actually get inside it, but it would surely be good to have some time of our own, without cameras or people following us. When our driver announced that we arrived, Maxon helped me out and I stood at the view, blinded by its perfection.
-This looks amazing!- I said, I took his arm and we walked through the field.
-So, do you still want to do it?- he asked after a brief moment of silence.
-Do what?- .
-Giving our first son away as a birthday present for the emperor- he reminded me. Suddenly, that matter didn't seem as an obligation anymore, it seemed more like a challenge.
-This might sound weird, but yes. I want to prove him that I'm not as useless and foolish as he thinks I am, if he wants to marry his niece with my son, he'll have to accept the fact that we become even closer,. If the emperor wants an heir, he'll have it, but with all its conditions. I'm dying to see his expression at the wedding, it would be like to rub my success in his face - I showed a devilish smile.
-That's my America!- he answered joyful.
-Do you have another one?- I joked.
-No, I mean. This is your true self, the reckless, brave and adorably impulsive America, my America- And the entire world seemed to disappear once again, leaving only the precious look in his eyes illuminated by the moon, the wind blowing strongly making me shake but I still felt protected with his arms around me, feeling my heart beating hard against my chest and listening to the sound of his rushed one, I let out my urges to have his lips against mine, promising all his love, assuring me that he was only mine. Everything was as it had been the first time.
Luckily, the next morning Silvia and the reporters found us fully dress and ready to leave, but still she scolded us for leaving the Royal Encounter the way we did, Maxon said that she would send his apologies to Daphne later. France was insanely beautiful, that was true for sure, but nothing could compare to the sight of my beautiful Illéa, although problematic and a little insecure, it was still a beauty. Marlee and Carter, along with all the press of Angeles and more, met us at the airport. When she greeted me I couldn't help of looking that she hid her scars behind those gloves, when she was out of the palace she never showed her hands, not even at the report.
-Welcome home, your highnesses. We've missed you- said Carter taking us to the limo.
-Don't worry, we won't be going back to France in a long time- Maxon wasn't supposed to laugh while saying that, but even I smiled a bit.
-Something went wrong?- Marlee asked.
-The question is: Something went right?- she was pale white with my confession. –I'm just joking, I had a very good time, but the Emperor always finds a way of ruining everything…- she sighed a little relieved but she still held my hands concerned.
-Yes, she was drinking champagne with Princess Nicoletta and Princess Rajnandhini while the German Prime Minister was interrogating me about the Castes Elimination Project and its advances- I bit my lip.
-Sorry…- I said with a rueful smile.
-Don't worry, is good that you enjoyed it even just a bit…- then Silvia turned to see us from the front seat.
-Sorry to interrupt, but your sister's calling, your highness- she announced giving me the limo's phone, it was so great to have one!
-May?- I said shaking with excitement to hear her voice.
-Princess America was surely the sweetest princess to attend The Royal Encounter, the king expressed their joy after meeting Prince Maxon's beautiful wife, and she is a royal scandal for sure. Now everyone inside Illéa and outside loves her- she quoted the newspaper that I had been reading on the plane, they wouldn't dare to comment about the little incident we had with the Emperor. –You see? You're a star, America!- she said happily, I smiled.
-I'm glad you're pleased, at least someone is congratulation me by my behavior…- I really hoped that Silvia heard that.
-Good job, sis! And I haven't told you about those wonderful pictures of you two! They're like everywhere! The people is going crazy about them!- I froze for a moment.
-What pictures, May Singer? What pictures?!- I was close to explode of nervousness and shame. The three of my companions looked at me a little scared.
-The pictures of the Encounter, America Schreave Singer! Those pictures! Everyone says you look like and angel- she answered and we were all able to breathe again.
-Thank God, I was about to… you don't need to know that. How's Gerad and Mom?- I asked hoping that she's forget my stupidity.
-Gerad is still acting like a movie star with everyone he meets and Mom is dying to hear everything about your trip, when are you visiting us?- she asked.
-Soon, I promise, I… just have some Royal Issues to attend- I said turning my head to see Maxon. He didn't know but I already had asked Silvia to make sure that the doctor prepared everything for my examinations: fertile days, changes in my cycle, ultrasounds and stuff, I had to be pretty sure nothing would go wrong with my pregnancy, that if I was not already pregnant.
-You always have, geez! It looks like you're the only one who doesn't believe she's the Crown Princess yet!- she reminded me sounding annoyed.
-Well it's hard to believe it when you grew up next to a sister that acted like a princess all the time!- I giggled, I heard her snort.
-I knew I was fated to be someone important!- that was absolutely true, May had that spark that only special people had; If I was a scandal, she was a legend. Everyone loved May.
-Fine, Miss Important. Tell mom I'll go as soon as I can, give Gerad a kiss for me and… do me a favor, can you?- I lowered my voice tone.
-Anything you want, highness-
-If you find some kind of… scandalous pictures, please make sure that mom doesn't see them- she stayed silent for a bit.
-Mental Images, America!- she complaint.
-Just do it, please!- Silvia made sure that those pictures wouldn't be shown in France, but what about Illéa?
-Ok, fine! I will… but I'll have a permanent trauma, I hope you know that!- And she hung.
-Family troubles?- Carter asked.
-More like… marital activities troubles- Maxon was petrified next to me.
-Mother of God, I hope we never have those- Marlee whispered, but still I could hear her. She had no idea of how lucky she was to not be on the public eye all the time.
When we got to the palace, Silvia immediately took Marlee and me to the Women's room. All the way I prepared myself for her scolding, we sat and I looked down.
-That was insulting, princess! You don't know how angry the kings were!- she started, Marlee stroked my back.
-I'm sure I was far angrier, you didn't hear what he told me!- I knew that Silvia was worried about everyone else, but for once I wished that she understood the reason of my acts.
-Nothing is too bad for you to leave like that, highness! As a princess you have to keep understandable to every situation!- she reminded me once more.
-I know I'm a princess, Silvia. I perfectly understand that but I'm also a human being and I suppose that everyone deserves a little respect too, am I wrong?-.
-Of course not, highness. But I guess it would've been best for you to try and fix things with the Emperor instead of crying your eyes out and leave…-
-Well, I actually have a heart, Silvia! That man only made me remember how it felt to be a five at the eyes of someone who had always been more powerful and greater than I would even thought I could be… -I confessed, only after that night alone with my husband I understood why I felt so bad about it, I could hear Late King Clarkson's words with the voice of Emperor Cho, making me feel as I was nothing at all again, it was exactly the same. – You don't know what's it like to be watched by everyone who's expecting you to make a mistake to remind you that you never were someone important, that you were no one before you got married, being watched by those people who think that the only reason of your happiness is the fact that the prince pitied you…- I finished.
-Oh, America- Marlee whispered sadly.
-So, yes. If my mistake was running away of the first obstacle in my way, I accept the guilt… but you can't judge me for that…- Silvia stood quietly for a moment until someone knocked the door.
-I'll go- she said and opened the door for Aspen to come in, I forced myself to smile.
-Is good to have you back, highness- he greeted me, I hugged him and I remembered how comforting Aspen's hugs were, he made me feel fine right away.
-Thank you, I would've brought something to you but… I'm afraid I had no time – that trip was like the second trip I made in all my life, and it turned out like a complete disaster.
-Don't worry, princess. It's good enough to see you unharmed- he assured me and sat next to Marlee.
- Not physically, at least- Silvia didn't say a word, she just left.
-I heard that too, you alright? – He sounded concerned.
-How the hell do you know everything that happens with me? - He laughed. –Well, I'll get through it, it wasn't so bad-
-It was, actually. But you're strong, Mer, you've always been- I wish I could've acted strong when it happened, but it was already too late.
-Now, I have to focus on "fixing" things with the emperor…- Aspen's expression turned to anger.
-No way, America! The man insults you to death and you still are going to accept this stupid arrangement?-
-Yes, I am. I ran away from him once I'm not going to do it again!-
-This isn't a question of braveness, this is about justice!-
-Well it's not fair from me to stay idly, he wants to try me? Fine, he will! One way or another-
-Aspen, I don't think we should…- said Marlee trying to calm him.
-No, no wait! I can't believe what I just heard! So, you aren't doing this because of the alliance anymore, am I wrong? - Damn, why did he have to know me so well?
-Not your business, Aspen-
-No, hear me now, Mer! Did is not like you, you've never been a vengeful person…-
-Stop it! I'm tired of hearing you say how I was or how I wasn't! The America you met is gone now, I've grown! Let's face it, both of us have changed and that's exactly why I fell in love with Maxon! Ok? So stop it, please. - I was so mad at that moment that I didn't realize the weight of my words, Aspen looked hurt and disappointed.
-As you say, your highness. Anyways, the doctor said he was ready to see you, now I do understand why…- he stood and left.
-Maybe we should continue when you feel more calmed- Marlee said as sweet as always, she made a bow and left too. I sighed trying to control my anger, what was exactly happening to me? I felt uncomfortable and worried, like something bad was about to happen and I discharged all those emotions with the people who only tried to help me. I walked slowly to the nursery, feeling unsure.
-Are you feeling ok, highness? - Doctor Stevens asked me, he had not much working at the palace, but he was surely good at all he did.
-Just a bit stressed with all that's been happening- he continued to take a few blood samples.
-Well, you better try to calm down, highness. Stress is not good when you're trying to conceive…- he scolded me, I smiled a bit.
-If you say so. Oh, and doctor? If you could keep this as a secret, I would be more than thankful…- Maxon didn't need to know about my plans, he wasn't as worried about the baby thing as I was.
-I'll take this to my grave- he assured me. I took a deep breathe and tried to relax.
The next morning I was reading some papers about the elimination of the eight cast, there was much progress and we almost had no more eights around the streets, I smiled to the good news. Someone knocked the door and as I had given Mary a day off, I myself went to open it.
-How's my pretty princess? - Maxon asked with a smile, he was carrying a little box.
-Feeling better I must admit, did you already see this? - He approached to my desk and saw the documents.
-Whoa, you've done a very good job, darling. This looks amazing- he kissed my cheek.
-Yes, I guess we're on our way to make Illéa a better place to live in. – The project was going perfectly, the idea was to first make the eights educated and capable enough to be sevens, then to make the sevens turn into sixes and like that until there was no cast left. This was just the first step but it was good to begin with.
-I guess you deserve a reward for such good work…-
-I do?-
-Yes, and you better open it before it suffocates in there- he gave me the box and I nervously opened it, God knows what was he bringing there and why would it be running out of air.
-Oh, dear…- I brought up a small cream colored kitten with blue eyes from its packaging; it looked at me scarily and meowed. –It's so cute, Maxon. Thank you! - I hugged him with my free arm.
- I just thought you may need some comfort after what happened and this little girl will be a good accompaniment when I can't be with you- I stroked my new pet's tiny head and she purred. When I looked to her eyes again I saw a stare that I had not seen in a long time, somehow familiar and friendly. It was the same feeling, it started being frightening but then I couldn't stop looking for comfort in those eyes.
-It's perfect, and I think I already have the name for this lady…- I smiled.
-Really? Great, we have to make a collar for her as soon as we can. So what's it going to be? - The kitty walked to meet Maxon's hand and she started playing with his fingers.
-Celeste- I answered firmly. He looked surprised.
-You sure?-
-Yes, she was my friend and although we had our troubles…-
-You really think so? - He said sarcastically
-She was someone so sweet and kind when I got to meet her true self, it'll be good to have her around once more, right? – My little Celeste was begging Maxon to hold her, but he just stroked her behind her ear.
-If that's how you want it, but maybe Celeste would be a little angry to be remembered because of a cat-
-Hey, I gave her name to a beautiful creature of nature, she can't ask for more! - Maxon and I laughed together. Someone knocked the door again.
-Come in- I said and Mr. McAffle entered my room looking concerned.
-Your highness, we have urgent news from New Asia- Great, as soon as Maxon was free to see me he had to leave again, it would be damn good to have Celeste around as my company.
-Sorry, dear. You heard it it's urgent- Celeste meowed like protesting and I scowled too.
-Oh, and Princess! Doctor Stevens wants to see you immediately- he had a suspicious look in his eyes.
-Thank you for the information- I left Celeste on my bed and I walked to the door with my husband.
-Are you sick or something? - He asked; I smiled so he wouldn't worry about it.
-No, I just… had some doubts about the pregnancy and stuff- I assured him, he nodded.
-Well, Good luck then. - He said.
-To you too- I gave him a quick kiss and we both went our separate ways. I didn't expect the results to come up so fast, I thought he would have to analyze them more, and it would have been so good to have some more time to analyze them. But still I was cheerful, if everything went right, we would be a typical family: Maxon, me, a baby and a cat.
When I got to the nursery, doctor Stevens looked disappointed while reading what could be the results of my exams. I shivered, that totally crushed my hopes.
-Is everything all right? - I asked sitting in front of his desk. He tried to smile but he couldn't, it must've been really bad news, I didn't know what to think.
-In other situations, highness, this wouldn't be so bad, but… I'm afraid that in your situation it is- he passed a hand trough his hair, I bit my lip. – I really could have never imagined that something like this would happen, highness, especially when you belong to a family of five…but it isn't a matter of genes- I started breathing heavily.
-Please just tell me what's going on- I just wanted to make it faster as it was evident that it would end wrong.
-I'm so sorry, highness. But I'm afraid that you have a uterine malformation, it would be dangerous to try anything and I have tried to find solutions but for now… this makes it impossible for you to conceive-.
To be continued…
Dreamer.