2-Dad

by retsk65

A mysterious basket is left on the band's porch, which turns out to contain a baby, the product of Paula's accidental pregnancy. She decides to give the newborn to 2-D because she doesn't want to raise him herself. 2-D now has to learn how to care for and raise the baby all by himself in 212 Wobble St. Rated T for profanity.

2. Chapter 2

"SCREEEEE!"

3am. It was the sixth time that night that 2-D was woken up by the hollering baby beside him. The bags under his eyes had grown bigger and bigger each time-he thought he might collapse because of the sleep deprivation. Rubbing his eyes, 2-D picked Shane up and slowly dragged himself downstairs. Once in the kitchen, he flicked the overhead light on and opened the fridge.

"Let's see...where did I put that blasted formula?!" 2-D muttered to himself, fumbling around on the top shelf. At last, he came to a white bottle marked "For the baby" and took it out. He warmed it in his hands, for the microwave had broken months ago, and began to feed it to the baby. Out of the corner of his eye, 2-D spotted a single heavily bruised eye peeking out from behind a corner. Noodle stepped out as quickly as 2-D had noticed her eye. She donned a white nightgown and had left her mask behind.

"Hello 2-D." She said, sleepiness evident in her voice. "Ello' there Noodle." 2-D said, waving with his free hand. "What brings you 'ere at this hour?"

"I woke to get a glass of water." She replied. "But also to see your child."

"Well, he's right here!" 2-D said, turning toward his younger bandmate. Noodle placed her small hands on Shane's cheeks and pinched them. "He looks like you." She said, smiling at the now giggling baby in 2-D's arms. "Yeah..." he trailed off. "He was a bit of a surprise at first, but he's certainly a surprise I could get used to!"

Noodle nodded in understanding. She was warned by Murdoc not to mention a certain ex-guitarist within earshot of 2-D, or else it might set him off again. Last time her name was mentioned, Murdoc had to stop 2-D's violence with a chloroform stained rag. She hurt him and she hurt him badly. It was this ex-guitarist that produced the baby that Noodle was looking at right then and she knew that just as she knew most behind the scenes stories of the band. But that's a whole different story.

"I have to go to sleep again now. And I think you do also." Noodle laughed, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and heading towards the stairs. "Night then, Noodle!" 2-D called from the kitchen. "Goodnight 2-D!" She called back, closing the door to her bedroom. 2-D sighed and rubbed his eyes once more. He hoped this would be the very last time he'd have to wake up. Or at the very least, the last baby that would show up at his doorstep. But he was determined to raise Shane right as the next generation of the Pot family. He would raise Shane better then that scummy ex-girlfriend/guitarist could do, that he knew. But poor 2-D was still so unsure of so many things. How do you teach a human to talk? How do you teach a human to put one foot in front of the other? And why couldn't he do it?

2-D wearily began to walk back up the stairs, each step feeling like an entire mile of walking as a result of his tiredness. Once he reached his small room, he closed the door and for the first time that night (or morning), both Pots slept.

It was 12:15. 5 hours past his alarm. Angry footsteps could be heard outside 2-D's door that were getting louder and angrier as they got closer. Finally, the door to his room was swung open, waking up both him and his sleeping son. A very disturbed looking Murdoc stood in the doorway, arms folded at his bare chest. He took a very deep inhale and-

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF BEELZEBUB'S LIVING ROOM ARE YOU DOING STILL ASLEEP?" he screeched. 2-d shielded Shane from any danger Murdoc could inflict on him in the next 5-10 minutes he'd be yelling in that doorway. Who knows, that man could very well be preparing to slap 2-D upside the head with a shoe again. "I-I was jus' catching up on the sleep I lost caring for my son!" 2-D said fearfully staring back at the shirtless green man. Murdoc stomped a bit further into the room. "IT'S NO TIME TO BE SLEEPING YOU FACEACHE, WE HAVE IMPORTANT WORK TO BE DOING."

2-D was too scared of Murdoc to protest. He could only nod, tightening his grip on Shane. After Murdoc had left the room, 2-D walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Groaning at the bread slices, he popped two into the toaster. Breakfast would be toast again, just as it had been every morning. Taking the two slightly burned slices of bread out of the toaster, he attempted to wedge a corner into Shane's mouth, but to no avail.

Without a word, 2-D took himself and the baby outside. Passing right by the mailman, he waved to Russell on the roof and set off down the street to the nearby park. He settled down on a bench beside a tree and began to look at the children on the playground with their parents standing near the jungle gym. 2-D wiped the tears from his eyes as he looked down at his own child. He wasn't cut out to be a father. He was just...2-D. The tall, blue haired, pretty-boy who couldn't even keep a girlfriend. But he was sure of one thing, and it was that he'd learn how to be the father figure Shane needed so badly.

A/N: Thanks so much for the follows, fav, and review! All in just 2 days! I have some ideas for the next chapter, so let me know what you think of this one and I'll be writing chapter 3 for ya. It'll probably be out in a few days, but it could be a week or two depending on how busy I am.