Agony, terrible and painful agony. My country was falling beneath my feet and I could hardly breathe at the thought of it, what did I learn from that day? Truth also comes with a price and I had to suffer to pay it. But it was surely not time for me to cry my eyes out, I had to think what to do in that situation, and I had to think quickly, but all the screams and gunshots wouldn't let me. Marlee was shaking nervously and Carter was about to lose his patience, Kriss and her other fellow rebels had gone to register the palace to make sure that any enemy had come in.
"We're losing too much people, America! We have to do something" Carter reminded me.
"I know, but we can't send any message until everything calms down, I'll figure out what to do… but that what's best now is to wait for them to stop the attack" it would be no use to try to say anything when in the outside the only emotion ruling was panic.
"What if they don't want to stop?" said Marlee sarcastically. "What will we do then?"
"They'll have to! Do you have any suggestion?" I almost yelled I had too much pressure; I didn't need anyone to raise it.
"Not really, but we don't have as much time as you think we do!" Marlee could be really annoying when she was scared.
"Yes, actually, the emperor is waiting for my answer…" I was going to continue talking, but Kriss interrupted me.
"Exactly, that was what I was going to say. You can negotiate a minute of peace while you think of a solution" that was exactly what was going through my mind, but there was another fact to consider.
"But I cannot let them kill my people while I try to talk to them… Kriss! No one of the palace's staff has left, right?" I asked her, she shook her head firmly; she didn't seem scared at all. She trusted me, and I wasn't sure if that was the best option.
"Why is that important right now?" said my best friend once again.
"Don't ask, just follow me!" the four of us got out of Maxon's office that had been our shelter for like an hour, Carter and Marlee had made me realize that we really didn't have time and I had to hush before Illéa was turned into ashes. "Has anyone tried to fight back?" I asked Kriss walking rapidly through the halls.
"No one but the rebels, I think that's best…" but, God, she was wrong, my idea was completely different.
"Not really, I need you to do me a favor" I took her hands, she was also shaking.
"Anything you need…" she answered, I was feeling rather guilty for exposing her to that kind of danger, but we were running out of people.
"You have to go out and negotiate the minute of peace we talked about, I would do it myself but I have to do something else…" she seemed shocked for a minute but then her expression changed into confidence,
"I'll do it, besides… I wouldn't have let you out of here either, it's the heir of the throne you're carrying!" we both laughed for a second.
"Be careful…" I almost begged her, she nodded and left, if something had happened to her, I would surely not survive the pain and regret. We went to the room were the report was recorded, Gavril, of course, was also analyzing maps and other things of the palace that in my life I had seen, with so many northern rebels going around I must've felt safe, but the truth is that everything scared me to my bones, but it wasn't time for me to back up.
"Carter, I need you to go and cheek Kriss' progress, when everything's alright give me a signal, quickly!" he nodded and went out of the room closing the door tightly behind him; I could almost hear Marlee's heart rushing.
"This can't be happening…" Marlee sighed; it was a bit late to say that.
"How can I help, highness?" Gavril approached me, but I didn't face him, I didn't want to see another hopeful expression when I was in such fear.
"I need to send a message to my people; this has to be shown in every house of Illéa, understood?" I sounded pretty clear and secure while saying that.
"Of course, princess" he got apart to get the camera on, I had to take deep breaths not to start crying and wondering what the heck would happen after it all had been done and said.
"What exactly are you planning to do?" Marlee and her questions that were impossible to answer with all that fuss happening.
"Reminding them a reason to stay strong…" was all that I answered, and she didn't say another word.
"The fire has stopped temporarily" announced Carter from the outside, it was time, time for me to take my rightful place and take care of my country the best way I knew: making them brave.
"Everything ready, highness!" said Gavril and I stood in front in the camera trying to look calm, as if that could've worked. "The transmission begins in three… two… one…" I sighed.
"Dear people of Illéa, I understand you must be terrified about all this matter, I myself am terrified too, I couldn't lie by telling you that I didn't see this coming, I did but I'm afraid I wasn't in position of doing anything, you cannot fight without knowing who the enemy is, but now we certainly know. New Asia has been planning to destroy our country for what seems a long time, and if you were wondering who has helped them to shatter it from the inside, it was people from Illéa itself, I have never seen this level of betrayal and cruelty and I surely won't take it easily, no one deserves this kind of violence and I'm not going to let them take what is ours, but as I tell you this I also tell you that I cannot do it alone, you've heard that unity is strength, so what I'm asking you now is all that I'll ever ask to you. Fight, fight with and for all that you have and love, don't let them take our life away, they have no right and we won't give in so easily, I know how my people really is and we've never been coward, we've always been strong and fair, so I trust in that if we lose something, we'll lose it with honor, the only way to be free is doing whatever it takes to get freedom, even if that means to make sacrifices. Today, a husband and a leader has been taken away and used against us to give up and let them kill everything that we've created in so much time, but they were wrong… they thought that we would budge, but they just gave us another reason to rage, so… as your princess and as someone that loves her country I'm asking you to stay strong and remember why we're fighting, don't surrender, no matter what happens… the solution will only come when we decide to do something, and I will also take up the matter, only by being together Illéa will be ours once again" with that last word the shootings began again, a cold sweat went down my spine thinking that my speech had provoked the emperor's army even more, but Carter didn't say a thing, the recording ended as I went out of the room and looked outside of the palace y the hall's broken window. I had thought we were in disadvantage, but I guess that my people was also tired of hiding, if they had to suffer, they would suffer for something that was really important.
"You see? They would listen and do anything you said…" said Carter surprised and hopeful, a little smile appeared in my face.
"You don't need anyone to tell you how a great leader you are, it runs through your veins, America" said Marlee taking my hand.
"Well, this won't make anything easier, but it's better than staying idly" I answered. 'I just hope it gives us more time… Maxon, please be alright' even while hearing my husband's name inside my head it broke my heart and I busted into tears, both of joy and pain.
After a while, peace was restored. New Asia's army understood our intentions and when they knew that they couldn't take over us that day, it was them who surrendered. I had been looked in my husband's office all day long, Kriss and other rebels were inside and outside the palace at every minute, and Marlee and Carter took a little time to fix their own problems, though I wasn't really alone I felt empty without Maxon, every time I thought about him I started to shake and felt a knot in my throat. If the emperor dared to touch him he would regret it terribly, I didn't care if I had to rip off his arms and legs one by one, I would make sure that the devil would return to hell were he belonged with no pride or body left.
"Highness, the rebels require you to take a look at what has been damaged" said doctor Stevens looking more calm, I wondered how could he feel so peaceful, maybe he did thought that our situation was getting better.
"Why is that necessary?" asked Carter in protective voice, I smiled at his concern.
"They have the suspect that the southern rebels were looking for something else but the princess…" he explained.
"That sounds interesting, you can come with me if you want to" I got up from the chair and followed doctor Stevens.
"Do you have an idea of where Maxon hid the journals?" asked Kriss when she saw me.
"The journals? … I thought that Georgia and August had them" I was confused with that question.
"Not really, they gave them back to Maxon right after he married you…" she answered, another discover! How many other things about my husband, my country and my palace didn't I know?
"Well, there's your reply, I had absolutely no idea!" I said; she chuckled at my sarcasm.
"They also had a clue about that, but they were wrong" he pointed at the room that was at the end of that hall. It was King Clarkson and Queen Amberly's room? Why did the rebels want the journals and why did Maxon hide them in there?
"Why were they looking for the journals?" I said while we all registered the shattered bedroom, in the three years I had spent in the palace, I had never seen someone come into that room except for the maids who only cleaned it and then left.
"For the same reason they planned this whole matter, betrayal. They wanted to show that Illéa had started as a corrupt nation and what was best was to end with the monarchy" explained Mr. McAffle.
"That's foolish; Maxon doesn't have anything to deal with Gregory Illéa" guess that rushed decision weren't only taken inside the palace.
"It was a backup plan, they were just gathering information in case that they needed more reasons to overthrow you" complimented Kriss. That's how I realized something that many other people knew but it was to useless to say: Wars began for the most stupid reasons.
"But when they didn't find them they took something else… in this case someone… with the same value, the only one who know what kind of information was written in the journals" it was all like the pieces of a devilish puzzle.
"To make everyone think that their ruler had abandoned them" Marlee ended my idea.
"Another fact to show that the monarchy is no good for Illéa" Kriss conclude.
"My God, I can't believe there are so many insane people in this world…" protested Carter, I smiled sadly.
"You'd be crazy too if you had been planning something for years and you never got the opportunity to finally make it…" I went to Queen Amberly's broken nightstand; there she had a picture, luckily that didn't get damaged., it was her, King Clarkson and Maxon while he was a baby, they seemed to be so in love and happy, I wondered when did King Clarkson turned into a monster. But, wait, the rebels had actually found a journal, but not the one they were looking for, I took in my hand and recognized the Queen's handwriting. That was why they thought that Maxon had hidden them in there.
"America, you should bend so much" Marlee reminded me sweetly, how ironic, I wasn't the baby but I already had like four babysitters.
"Alright" I took both the journal and the picture with me.
"Our job is done for today, but let's see what happens tomorrow" said Kriss.
"You shouldn't stay up all night guarding…" I said; she gave me a tender smile.
"I'm sorry but that's my responsibility, highness" she made a bow and left with the other three men.
"Her thoughts are like so twisted, I'll never get to understand her… but anyways, now, can you explain me what the hell is going on?" begged Marlee, I giggled.
"It's a large story but I'll make is short for you…" I said while we walked to my room, I was terribly tired, but I surely wouldn't get any sleep that night. "You see, New Asia's army teamed up with the southern rebels to get rid of us. The northern rebels, and yes that includes Kriss, knew this so they made up this… crazy and very cruel plan so they could take a look more closely and protect us, so Kriss was brought to the palace undercover to work along with my husband's helpers that are also rebels as you can see…" their eyes were wide open and they couldn't say a thing.
"So… the whole thing about the substitute was… fake?" asked Carter.
"Exactly, the changed the exams results to make us all think that I was sterile, but the truth is that I'm pregnant and that was why we couldn't let the Emperor win" I smiled, while they froze.
"Ok… maybe it's not the time or the circumstances to say this but… Congratulations!" said Carter with a surprised chuckle.
"Thank you" I ran a hand over my belly and felt my baby moving again, it was somehow relieving.
"So, I guess we'll have to keep an eye on you at every second of the day" said Marlee crossing her arms, I couldn't believe she was still so worried about my own health with all that was happening.
"Not really, I can take care of myself…" they gave me their best "Seriously?" face. "Or rather… ourselves!"
"No way, miss! If you had another middle name that would be America reckless Schreave Singer. We'll make sure that your pregnancy proceeds with no problems" she assured me.
"You can do that when all our other troubles fade away" I replied.
The Woodworks insisted to stay with me to make sure I would get anything that I needed, but after ours and ours of begging them a little privacy, they finally left me alone, well, not alone exactly; I was with Celeste and my baby of course.
"Let's see what were your grandma's thoughts" I sad rubbing my waist, Celeste noticed something strange in there and rested her head where my son was growing, she purred. I opened the Queen's journal and began with the very first page.
As Clarkson promised, our honeymoon was the greatest thing ever! But as the new princess I had to go back at the palace and start fulfilling my duties, how sad! I wish I could get more time with my husband as we is so romantic when were alone! But when other people surrounds us, he acts very cold and distant, more like focused he seems a little scared to show everyone how much he loves me, because I'm sure he does, he picked me over other 34 girls, if that's not love I have no idea of what could it be!
This complete situation is so crazy! I grew up being a humble and timid four and nowadays I have to get used to being called "Highness" by everyone and staying almost locked in the palace full of papers and planning and other tasks, I really don't mind doing any of them, all that I want is to be close to Clarkson.
I'm scared that I won't get to write this things down more often, I wanted to fill these pages with my thought so I remember how my first days as a princess were, but now I'm very busy and actually! I have to go back to work right now! Jeez, I didn't realize how difficult this would be.
It was unbelievable! Queen Amberly was so sweet even when she wrote, I could say that I understood how she felt; it was completely the same thing. Even the strongest and kindest person I had ever known had her concerns. I turned the page to continue reading.
I haven't written in so long! How sad, I guess I'll only use these diary when something really important happen, I don't have that much free time. Especially now that I'll make this great announce only for myself to finish believing it, today, I became Queen… QUEEN! Amberly Schreave, how believable is that? I've been trying all day to convince myself that this is true. I have a wonderful husband and I'm the Queen of my beautiful country! There's only one thing missing to complete the life I had always wanted.
But that's pretty far from coming true, I have been married for almost six months and everyone thinks about only one thing when they see me: Won't the King and Queen's babies be gorgeous? I know they'll be! I want the exact same thing but the problem is not me or them; it's Clarkson, he has been so harsh these days… he almost seems… God, never thought I'd say this but… he almost seems violent, I'm sure it's because he is gathering confidence to realize that he's no longer the crown prince but the King of Illéa, I know I should be feeling the same but If we talk seriously I'm only his pretty companion, it's him who has to take all decisions and decide the future of our country, when I think of all that pressure I just shiver! I admire him, somehow he's so thoughtful always, he's firm, he'll make a great King, and I'm sure.
Well, I had to admit that we all make mistakes sometimes, but my mother in law couldn't be more mistaken, still I couldn't blame her, she wrote with so much passion and thought she wrote very specific and short things she expressed how much she loved that complete situation.
This is kind of tragic, but I had to let it out somehow, now it has been one year and three months since I got married and, for the Lord's sake, how can anyone feel fear while being with his or her partner, soul mate and love of his or her life? It's completely awful! I'm terrified.
I've been telling myself that Clarkson is being pressured by everyone, but this is much worse than just pressure. When he was with me, his world seemed to be spinning perfectly, but now I'm afraid that not even I can calm him, I swear to God that this is the first time that something like this has happened.
I should've known that no one's marriage is a fairytale, but this is beyond all bearing, how could he? My sweet and kind husband and my one true love try to do something like that? It was just after he met the parliament, I had been waiting for him for like an hour and when I asked him why did he took so long to come to visit me, he… he… God, I cannot even write it! I'm getting pretty nervous, I'm actually crying right now!
I'm afraid that he'll lose his mind with me once again, because he doesn't know about…
I had to read it over and over again to get to understand it, it was absolutely cruel and difficult to believe, and it was heartbreaking.
…he doesn't know about the fact that I'm pregnant, and I was about to tell him when he exploded, I can't believe this, but I know he's not a bad person, there's a lots of things going around, he just needs some time, but still I'm scared, because of me and because of my child, my first child.
I turned the next page desperately, though I already knew what to expect, everyone in Illéa knew Queen Amberly's terrible situation.
How is it when an angel dies? Does the sky notice and starts to cry and that's why it always rains on sad days? Does the earth stop moving from a moment? Does your soul leave your body for what looks as a century and refuses going back to where it belongs?
Is far much worse than that, and it hurts even more when you realize that it has been the father of your baby who has caused your miser. Today, after a month of finding out that I was pregnant, my husband has done something terrible and I have lost my first son, did he know? Of course not, and I surely won't be telling him soon.
I never thought I'd be this disappointed and sad; my dreamlike life was turning into nothing but a nightmare. Have I made a mistake? Did Clarkson ever love me or did he just choose me because I had a special power over him? Today was the proof that my abilities are failing, I don't even want to look at him or even looking at me. I have failed as a mother, as a wife and as a ruler. Today, a part of my soul was sent to heaven.
Finally! After my first failed pregnancy and eight months more of trying and trying, was glad to announce everyone that I am pregnant once again! I wouldn't make the same mistakes as I had done before, today even Clarkson smiled and gave me one of his famous romantic and passionate kisses! I thought that he would take me to bed once again, but I would've surely rejected him, it wouldn't have been safe for the baby!
I obviously will never forget about my first baby, but know I've been granted of the blessing of becoming a mother one more time, and I won't let it slip away.
I daydream all day long, I wonder how my kid will be like, will he have his father's beautiful blue eyes? Will he have my mother's soft and prefect skin? Will he have my dark colored hair? Will he have my father's birthmark? Or will it be a girl?
I have much to think and to plan! But first I need to talk to Clarkson and try to figure out what has been happening with him, he looks calmer now, but still he needs all my help and support.
Anyways, that's what I'm here for!
I swear for all that I have that I would like to burn the last page I wrote exactly two months ago.
Maybe I've been cursed or something.
Maybe we weren't made for becoming parents.
Maybe I wasn't meant to become a happy and blessed mother, wife and Queen.
Today, I've lost my second baby.
When has someone felt scared about good news? When has someone started crying while hearing those awaited words?
I'll quote the doctor to explain it better: Congratulations, majesty. You've been pregnant for a month.
A month! That gives me no hope at all; it just increases my fears and concerns. I don't want to lose my baby once again! I don't want Clarkson to start acting crazily and take my son away from me forever! I'm not even sure if I really want to be pregnant.
There's no other way to say it: I'm scared, I'm terrified to my bones, and my husband doesn't help at all. What am I supposed to do? Lock myself in my enormous room alone for nine months? Is that what I have to do to keep my baby?
Well, I guess that's what I'll do for now. They say that third time is lucky.
This time I won't shed tears if it isn't for happiness, this time I won't see my husband's eyes until I have seen my baby's eyes first.
A quick and happy message!
I'm absolutely joyful today! I had to tell my diary this awesome news.
Today, I am eight months pregnant!
Eight months, congratulations to me! And to my baby… who, by the doctor's diagnosis, seems to be a boy!
I'm waiting desperately to meet my little prince, please come already!
I wiped my tears quickly to continue reading the Queen's sad but still beautiful story, it was amazing to see how much our stories complimented each other. She had also been a completely normal girl turned into someone she'd never thought she'd be; she had also been scared of losing everything she had. She had also been a worried wife and mother
Today was a pretty day, but what am I saying? Today was the most perfect and wonderful day of all! I'm surprised that I could have taken the pen and written these words down considering how tired I am, but this is still hard to believe for me.
This is how a new part of my life started, this morning I woke up with a terrible pain in my belly, I called my maids as loud and quickly I could, the next hours I spent screaming in pain, but now it's all worth it, for the three of us.
Yes, finally! Today, Maxon Calix Schreave, my son, was born. Today I've become a mother for real! Right now, Clarkson is holding our newborn baby and I swear that I haven't seen him so peaceful in more than a year. My child is now my only hope, my only hope that my husband finds that peace he needs and deserves, while watching him I have no doubts about the great father he'll be.
Today, a part of my heart has turned into a baby; my only hope has become a tiny and very blonde little prince.
I had to stop reading, it was too much for me to handle. Queen Amberly had so much hopes and dreams, she was insanely in love and she wanted a baby crazily, she got them both, but King Clarkson's love wasn't enough, or maybe it wasn't even real like hers. It wasn't fair at all, Queen Amberly's heart was made of pure gold and King Clarkson only thought about all his power and what he could do with it, he used it to mistreat his own family and to destroy everything that his wife had always wanted. Maybe that was why he hated me so much, maybe he was jealous of Maxon's feelings for me because he knew that he would never adore his own wife the way that his son loved me. The Queen was too in love to notice what was truly happening. She seemed so fragile with those words, so full of illusions that her own life managed to shatter; she wasn't the one who was wrong, love is never a mistake, but Maxon's father should have figured out that he chose rather comfort than love itself, and that only made me feel worse.
Of course I knew that I would never understand Queen Amberly's pain of loosing a child, it was my first son that I was carrying and we both were perfectly fine and (thanks to my mother's own genes) I knew that we would always be okay. I finally understood and accepted what Kriss had told me, I was very lucky.
The next day I woke up with a huge appetite. But I couldn't forget what was going on out of the palace; I had to take care both of Illéa and my son, and damn! It was a hard work to do, but it had to be done. We were kind of relieved not to hear shootings and screams in the morning, but my luck wouldn't last much. I froze when I saw Kriss being followed by the Emperor and he's guards themselves.
"Kriss, what the heck…?" began Marlee standing in front of me protectively, she knew how important it was for me to be safe.
"It's not what you think…" she assured us all with a worried expression.
"Highness, it has been a long time…" Emperor Cho "greeted" me. "I must say that your servants are pretty smart, another problem of this hideous situation has been resolved" how devilish and jerky could a person be? I had to remind me that feeling crazily angry wasn't good for my baby.
"What exactly are you doing in here?" I asked forcing myself not to yell and make everyone try to kill him with their own hands.
"To give you exactly what you're looking for, princess. Would I be wrong if I said that peace is the only thing you want right now?" he said with a stupid smile in his face.
"Get to the point!" I ordered, this time for real.
"Ok, you must know that there's nothing about you that I cannot know, I already know that you've been gestating for a month, let's make this easier for everyone. Come with me, princess, come with me and stop my people from killing everyone in Illéa, stop them from destroying your country and protect them, protect your own husband" he ended, Marlee approached him.
"What, in your wicked and heartless mind, makes you think she'll go with you?" she asked with hatred in her voice.
"Simple, love makes her weak, consider that your dear prince is under our control know, I could kill him with just blinking" he finished talking with a chuckle, how could he be such a horrible person? Everyone in the room looked at me, they knew me far too well, even Marlee's tears begged me to reconsider it, they were worried, they asked me to think it over and over again before putting myself and my kid in danger. But I wasn't the kind of person who follows the rules; I made rules of my own, sometimes even using my enemy's rules.
"I'll go with you, but if you even dare to touch anyone, you'll regret it"
To be continued…
Dreamer.
Hey readers! I know it has been a while since I … I've been busy as hell! My apologies! So, here's another dramatic and heartbreaking chapter of this sad and awful story, haha! Just kidding! Now you understand why America said that she didn't like that part of her story so much? I'm sorry if I've made you cry too much, but I'm actually glad that my imaginations get to warm your hearts! Now, I had a question for you, crazy fans! As you must know, our dear writer Kiera has already revealed the synopsis of the fourth book, The Heir, and it looks like Maxerica were having twins, so… she kind of ruined my ideas… I was planning them only to have one son, so now I'm between the sword and the wall, I need your opinion! Will it be twins or will the twins have an older brother in this story? Please, for the Lord's sake! Tell me! I'm so troubled right now! Haha, anyways! Thank you for following the story.
Love and kisses for ya'll!