"So this is how I leave the world, so quick, so cruel

In the time that takes to blink or to feel one last beat from our tortured hearts,

In the time that we cannot even stop to regret what we've done wrong,

In the time that we cannot even rejoice about what we've done right,

In the time that my last breath turns into the only three words I've ever known:

I love you."

He took his time to let go of me, but I realized I didn't really want him to get apart, I felt like I would lose him again if we dared to move from the position we were, but I had no choice more than to make him face me when I Heard he was crying too.

"I'm so sorry, darling. I should've taken care of you better; maybe we should've run away, I don't know, America… I don't know anything anymore" I had never seen him so broken, so confused, so troubled by something that wasn't anybody's fault, but in those situations everyone wants to blame someone, and he wasn't the exception.

"You haven't done anything wrong, Maxon. We did all we were supposed to, we sacrificed our own wishes to protect our country the best we could, but it was all twisted from the beginning, we were fooled… we were shattered" I said nothing that he didn't know already, but I was sure he needed to hear it from someone else, I stroked his cheek tenderly, like begging his beautiful eyes to stop letting the tears out, my heart shrank with just the sight of his torment.

"I don't understand why all this happened to us… but I promise that if we manage to get out of here, I'll never let anyone hurt you ever again, not to touch you, not to see you… If someone dares to even think about you I'll kill him or her, I'll do whatever it takes…" I laughed at his scary promise and made him get closer to me.

"I know, honey, I know… listen, we don't have much time" it hurt for me to say those words, now it was me who cried her eyes out.

"Wait, you've already said too many things to me and I didn't listen because of my worries, now it's my turn, dear… I… when the emperor started involving in our issues I was kind of excited of winning his trust… I would be the first royal in Illéa to finally accomplish the goal of making New Asia become our ally, I didn't really want it for what it truly was, I wanted it because I wanted to prove that I could be a good king, I was tired of the parliament telling me what to do exactly how my father had always controlled me, I wanted to rule in my own way, making my decisions and doing what was best on my own, I wanted to do everything alone because… that was my idea of freedom… but, then this whole baby thing began and I… guessed that somehow it was my chance to make him notice me; I was only thinking of me, America, and you were the one who wanted this more than I do, I took your dream and used it as an excuse to get my own selfish wishes, and I didn't notice, my love… I was too blinded with the desire of breaking free that I forgot what was really important for me… I've already told you this once but I guess its worth to say it again. Whatever I had been born as, maybe as an eight or a six, I don't know maybe as a miserable insect… I would've loved you still, with all my heart, endlessly, unconditionally and unavoidable; Because I don't want this life if you're not in it, and that was really my biggest mistake… thinking about being powerful and forgetting that all I ever wanted and will always want is only you, I cannot think of how would anyone's life be like without any love, but you're my everything , America… and my only sin was to focus in other unimportant things when it was you who needed me most… and because of that… we're here now, trapped, hopeless, trying to convince you from things that I might never be able to do… but I just want you to know that, whatever happens from now on, you have to know that… maybe everything might fall apart, maybe Illéa will be property of New Asia again, maybe all we know will be destroyed, maybe all of us will get killed, but what no one will ever change is the huge love I feel for you, you're my entire world, and even if I die and become dust, that dust will love you as much as it did when it was me, so… yes, I apology once again, because I stopped thinking about you even just for a second, and I'll never do that again, I swear…" I always wondered how could he find those perfect words, how could he be such a hopeless romantic when he had never felt love for real until he met me, but then I thought that I neither had felt it, when I was with Aspen I just felt safe and always happy, I didn't really love him, all I wanted was to feel like I was loved by someone, I wanted to feel pleased. But then Maxon came along, and he put my word upside down, he changed everything, all I that I thought I wanted, all that I thought I knew, all that I had decided to do, he changed me in few words, and that was how I knew I loved him, we had fought so many times and we still wanted to be together, we always went back because we weren't able to live without each other; I would've done anything and I would've been everything just for the sake of having him by my side, no price was big enough, no pain would be greatest than losing him forever.

"I Love you too, Maxon Calix Schreave, and even if we die today or tomorrow or in 50 years, that will always remain the same, alright? You don't need to ask for forgiveness, I would've forgiven you anyways, and this is all for the same thing I told you… I love you! I live because I love you, I fight because I love you, I have hopes because I love you, and I have all I need because I have you… and when I don't have you, I just don't exist and that's it… but…" I wiped my tears trying to sound joyful and make my little confession "I guess that now I'll always carry a part of you with me…" he also smiled and looked at me with a questioning expression, I was thrilled that he wanted to know what was really going on.

"What do you mean?" he asked happily, I giggled and took his wet cheeks in my hands; we were like that, face to face, eye to eye, heart to heart.

"Kriss… also had a little plan on her hands" I told him and he was still confused.

"What does this have to deal with Kriss?" he wondered, I chuckled again.

"More than you could imagine, my love. The thing is that… I'm not sterile" a flash of excitement ran through his face, like a little sunshine coming from the rainy clouds.

"That's wonderful, darling, and for real! But… now it might be too late for us…" he became sad again, he looked at the floor, but I took his chin and made him stare at me once again.

"Better late than never… we're having twins, my darling" a tear fell from my eye, after all that time, I could finally tell him those words, I was at last true, and it wasn't only one baby, there were two babies! He reacted as any father to be would have; he became pale, started shivering and couldn't even blink.

"What? You… are you…. Pregnant?" It was weird to hear him hesitate with words, but I'm sure that wasn't what made me cry even more.

"Yes, sweetheart, I'm having your babies, you're going to be a father!" he smiled as we both sobbed inconsolably, at that point if didn't matter why we cried, we just wanted to let out all the emotions we felt.

"Why in the world would a miserable prince deserve such happiness?" we both laughed again, I raised my arms to let them stand on his neck, I had not felt so joyful and complete for so long, how curious, was in such a terrible situation that I could finally feel calm. Find peace in wartime is something that very few can achieve.

"Because we do deserve to happy…" and no more words were needed, he got closer and closer until there was no more space between us, and I didn't know more than his sweet kiss, telling me that he also felt like me, like he could finally rest in my arms and forget about everything that had made him suffer, we were a family now, and I would fight for them.

And just when I thought that nothing could go wrong, I heard the guards approaching the cell, Maxon's hands tightened around my waist, and I looked at him with worried eyes, but he wasn't scared, there was rage hidden behind his glare; there was an intense wish of finishing everything that was going on, he wanted to destroy it all, I had never seen him so angry. He was also tired of being in hell when heaven was so close to him.

"I have to go… if they find me here, it'll be you who regrets it" I reminded him, he knew perfectly that they couldn't touch me, but him? They could torture him to death, and I certainly wouldn't let that happen.

"I don't want you to leave…" he begged me and I felt a sharp pain within my heart, my lips searched for his once again not wanting to let go either, but I had to, for the four of us.

"I'll come back, all of this will be done soon, I promise, darling…" I gave him a kiss on his cheek and that's how he let me go, yes indeed, I left… but my heart stayed with him.

I slept most of that night, I think. But when my worries were too much, I had to take over the situation. If only Kriss would have gotten my message sooner, if only I had known what was going on, maybe things could've gone better.

"America, is that you?" I couldn't hear her very clearly, there were a lot of sounds at her back and that made me feel a little uneasy.

"Yes, it's me; I found him, Kriss! I know where he is! Actually I have also talked to Aspen; I think it's time…" I insinuated hoping that she would agree, and for my surprise… she did.

"You're completely right, highness. You've actually read my mind" she seemed pleased somehow, how could she?

"What do you mean?" I asked placing a hand in my womb, something strange was going down there, were the kids also excited about something?

"Talking about Aspen Leger, we also got a message from him; right now our own army is being sent back here, protected. Thanks to him we've found the missing piece of our puzzle" Kriss could be really annoying sometimes, especially with her secrecy.

"And what in the world is that?" she had to remember that I wasn't a super undercovered agent- rebel like her! I needed explanations!

"You see, the best way of killing something is from the insides of it. The Emperor applied that technique with Illéa of course, so why shouldn't we do it too?" I tried to compare his situation with ours, he had allies in our country and we didn't know of it, that was what she meant, but who the hell could be in our side belonging to New Asia?

"And how exactly are you going to do it?" I asked almost begging for a quick and precise answer.

"Three words, my dear friend: Empress Ming Xia, as you must know she helped our people out of the prison and fortunately she is really displeased with her husband's intentions. She's on our side, America, it's official… we're going to end him" I had never felt so happy of hearing that we were going to end with someone, finally, we could be free.

"So… when you mean that our army is protected is because…" I was beginning to understand the idea.

"Half of New Asia's army is coming with them, the emperor is so foolish that he though he wouldn't need all his army to take over the nation; but it's certainly good to know that they worship the Empress more than they do with her husband" I just had to smile when I heard that, at last things were going the way we wanted, it wouldn't be long until we could finally be free from his claws.

"God, we're lucky…" I answered, she laughed.

"Yes, we are. Brace yourself, the bomb explodes when the sun rises" at that point it was just useless to try not to be excited, it was time; my time.

As Kriss promised, the attack began really quickly. The sun rays had barely entered trough the window on my cell when I heard the guns starting to shoot, but I didn't got scared, I felt braver and more ready for that would happen that day than I ever had felt in my life. What had been stolen from us: our happiness, our safety, the country we loved, would be given back in the harsh way, and I was glad; he tried to give us a lesson that we didn't even have or want to learn, now he had to face the consequences of his own errors.

I tried to recognize Aspen's familiar face moving through the thousand soldiers that surrounded the Emperor's den but it was too difficult to try to distinguish anyone, I just got to see Kriss' determined and angry expression, it was absolutely perfect! They wanted rebellion? Then rebellion they would get. I was so thrilled but it that I dared to get out of my cell and walk right to Maxon's.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked one of the guards holding me strongly by my arm, I quickly got his hand off him and smiled devilishly.

"You should stop worrying about me so much when your people is being murdered outside" I know I shouldn't have felt happy about something like that, but they deserved it for real, all that was going to happen, that was their punishment; not exactly our revenge, but the price they had to pay for their own actions… if he only had left us alone when he had the chance, now it was too late. He thought we were weak, well… he was terribly mistaken, and he was damned.

"She must have called them" his fellow guard responded and that made me get even more proud of what I had done.

"Yes, I did. Prepare to dig your own graves" I'm sure I left them pretty scared, they didn't even blink when I left. As I expected, the halls were completely empty and without any protection, the shootings sounded louder and faster but nobody screamed yet, it was somehow relieving in the middle of that tense atmosphere, I just had to remember what my mother had told me: Love and freedom both come with a price. And sometimes that price is blood.

Maxon wasn't waiting for me, I knew it, he shivered when he heard me enter his cell and when he turned to see me, his face got pale white from the fright, he approached and wrapped me in his arms as quick as he could.

"My God, America! Are you crazy? How did you get out like that when it's an odyssey out there?" I had never seen him so afraid before.

"It's all part of the plan" which I knew side to side; first the rebels and the rest of our army would enter the den to defeat New Asia's army, in all that process, Maxon and I had to escape and try to get to the palace so we weren't damaged; no one said it would be easy, but it had to be done.

"What plan? By the Lord, I've never been this uninformed in all my life!" it was normal for him to be worried but all his concerns just made me chuckle, I touched his nose with my lips hoping that a little kiss would help him relax.

"It's alright, honey. But we have to get out now…" I told him, he shook his head not really getting the point of it all.

"You must be out of your mind, they'll kill us if we go out! What about you? What about the babies?" I took his head in my hands like begging him to calm down and trust me, he was far too nervous.

"We'll be fine, believe me; if we stay here we'll become ashes sooner or later, let's go!" I grabbed his hand strongly and led him out of the cell, trying to remember where was that underground escape gate that Kriss had told me about, I couldn't recall if she had said on the kitchen or in the dining room but it was close from those two places, I just hoped that they wouldn't find us.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" he asked as he paced his step with mine.

"Like 70% sure, do you have any other suggestion?" I asked him a little annoyed.

"We could simply kill ourselves, that would make it easier and faster!" that wasn't just scare anymore, it was panic; but still I had to admit that I was a little scared too.

"Well, if this doesn't work that will be our backup plan!" I "assured" him. When we got to the area around the escape gate was when I heard the screams begin and it got to my nerves, so much that I even felt dizzy.

"How many men are on our side?" Maxon asked hoping that we wouldn't be on disadvantage.

"The other Half of New Asia's army and Illéa's complete army…" I answered leaning against a wall, waiting for my heart beat normal again, but I was sure it was not going to happen. We had so many chances of losing and winning, nothing was said and nothing was certain; one could say that we attacked based on a theory, but I could not deny the fact that we had already endured enough to wait a second longer.

"That's a bunch of people in risk" he reminded me like I didn't know, the pain in my chest started to become bigger, now I was the one who was petrified.

"Thank you for the information" I didn't even know how the sarcasm managed to get out of my mouth like that. I wasn't on my mind at that moment, I was frightened, my children were in danger, my whole family, the people who trusted in me, my best friends. I was risking everything I had in something that might not work, who wouldn't be scared to his or her bones?

"Is something wrong?" This was the first time that he grabbed me by the waist like that, not just by the fact of having me close but because our babies were in there, he could also feel them.

"Promise me something…" I asked him with teary eyes.

"Anything, darling" my God, even in those moments I couldn't stop thinking about how much I loved him, what I was about to say would hurt to death for sure.

"If I … If we don't succeed in this, promise me that you'll take the children with you when they're born; don't let him have them, their lives will be miserable if you let him do that. Promise me that whatever happens to me you'll protect them…" It was unavoidable for him to show a disappointed and painful expression but I had to be sure that my babies wouldn't be damaged by anyone.

"What if we both die while trying to live?" that's how I started to cry.

"Then ours will be a really beautiful love story to tell, like Romeo and Juliet… killed by hatred "He smiled sadly and kissed me softly.

"I would never let go of you, dear…" he whispered on my lips.

"I won't leave you either" so, that was our promise, whatever would happen we would always be together. I wiped my tears, we had to get out one way or another "Okay, help me find something like a gate on the floor, it should be around here" I had to make a great effort to bend and look for the gate, I was afraid I would hurt the babies.

"What a great team we make… a terrified and foolish crown prince and an annoyed and pregnant crown princess…" I had to smile when he said that, he obviously said it to make me laugh, he liked when I laughed.

"We might die sooner than we think" I said when I almost fell with something like a handle that was on the floor. "Found it" I said happily, Maxon came to my side and tried to open the gate, but I guess it wasn't so easy.

"It's stuck" how wonderful.

"Ok, at the count of three" I also grabbed the handle "One, two, three…" and by the Lord, it was stuck to hell! When we finally could open it, I fell on top of him.

"Not a good time, dear" he said playful, I hit him softly.

"It's always time…" I answered blinking, he went down first and then helped me down, it was of course and awful hall with a terrible smell, not really a good place for a pregnant woman to be but it wasn't time to complain. We walked slowly, the walls moved sometimes and other times we could even hear the grenades explode right next to our ears. Please don't die, please! I need you, I need you all! I prayed for my people not to get hurt, and it was an almost impossible wish but hope is the last to die.

"I think I can see the way out" Maxon announced, I stared at a small door on one of the walls.

"You're right, if God helps us it won't be locked" we got closer to the little door and tried to push it, it was really hard.

"You shouldn't make such effort, it's no good for the babies" he reminded me.

"I rather losing them outside than losing them inside this prison" I answered and pushed harder.

"Don't say stuff like that…" he begged me and then we heard something like a crack.

"Well, if we can't open it, we'll break it" hit the wall with our shoulders with all the strength we had left, the hall was small and we almost ran out of air. I was about to give up when Maxon almost threw himself over the wall and broke not only the door but most of the wall.

"In harsh times you have to do harsh stuff" he said putting aside the fallen bricks to leave at the end from that bloody hell. When we were out it seemed to me like I hadn't seen the sun in years, I had never felt so glad to be on the outsides, I could finally breathe again. Find piece in wartimes…

"It's official, I'm tired of this" I couldn't even have imagined that he would be waiting for us just outside the escape route. I must've guessed it, he wouldn't let us win so easily.

"We're too" Maxon answered with no wish of hiding what was he truly feeling, he pulled me closer.

"Alright then, we'll end this in the most easy and quick way" he took out a giant gun from his suit, I felt a blow under my stomach, we were finished.

"Fine, kill us, please! You'd do us a favor, ending with this nightmare on your own!" I couldn't process what he was saying, I had never been so close to death in my entire life, not even while the southern rebels attacked the palace, not once.

"That wouldn't be no fun… let's give your people the privilege of seeing how you both die… walk" he got behind us and I swear I could feel the pistol right behind my back, ready to shoot and end both with my misery and my most beautiful dream. We had no option but to walk to the front of the den and see how the massacre continued.

"Tell them to surrender… beg them to stop this killing, or it'll be you the next ones who will die" he said to my ear, not Maxon's, mine. He knew I was the terrified one, he knew how vulnerable I was while risking all my loved one's lives. I didn't realize I was crying until I tried to speak to Kriss who surely wouldn't listen to me.

"Stop it" I whispered, not talking to her specifically.

"I think they didn't hear you, louder! He ordered, this time the gun was right next to my neck, I almost fainted with the feeling of the cold metal pressing on my tensed skin.

"Stop it!" I shouted, the pain in my chest came back and I felt sick, terrified and disappointed, all at the same time. Feeling like that was it, we had tried and we didn't make it, it was useless to fight when you know you already lost. All he people who were on our side stayed still watching our terrible situation while the New Asian soldiers still pointed at them with their guns.

"America!" Kriss screamed losing her head, someone moved next to her trying to look at me. In other occasion, Aspen's eyes would have comforted me and made me feel safe, but this time they just made me suffer even more, he had also much to risk and he still fought for me, for us. I would've never forgiven myself if he died.

"Good, princess. Tell them to leave the weapons" he said, I took a deep breath and tried to sound calm.

"Drop your weapons" they knew it was something serious as they heard me crying, but it wasn't just me, I could swear I hear Maxon's sobs too.

"Let her go!" said Kriss approaching him dangerously.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, miss Ambers. Would you want to be the cause of the death of your own Queen?" he said, I knew whe was smiling in triumph.

"We haven't lost yet" Kriss assured me with tearful eyes.

"But you're about to…" two of the emperor's guards were standing next to us, both with guns in hand.

"Guess you people from Illéa never learn… You really think you could've defeated us with your pitiful dreams and predictable plans? We've been following every step you have taken in the last three years! There's nothing we cannot know about you all! You should've known this wasn't going to work! You've fought in vain… the devil cannot die because he is immortal and he is far too smart to let anyone kill him… Illéa was once property of New Asia, and that must've remained so you would know what your place was! But you decided to play to the Independence and think you freed yourselves from us, but that was just a great lie! We never stopped controlling you, we never took our eyes out of you! There's nothing you could've done without us knowing you did it! Your country is nothing but a mess without us to lead you and you can notice right now! So, this is it… say goodbye to your beloved princes…" he turned pointing his gun at me and then moving his arm to shoot Maxon right on his heart, it all happened so fast, I didn't even get to see his eyes one last time, I just covered his body with mine and hugged him strongly waiting to feel a huge hole in my heart, for this was the last time I would have him close, I heard the gun shoot, and it was all over.

So this is how I leave the world, so quick, so cruel. In the time that takes to blink or to feel one last beat from our tortured hearts, In the time that we cannot even stop to regret what we've done wrong, In the time that we cannot even rejoice about what we've done right, In the time that my last breath turns into the only three words I've ever known: I love you.

….

But I could still feel his hand on my back, my heart still beat, my lungs were breathing, I wasn't bleeding, the panic was still there, was I already dead and I was in paradise? I looked up to my husband's eyes, unexpressive because of the shock, I turned around.

I watched him burn down, writhe with the weight of his sins, with not just blood coming out of his chest but also guilt, seeing how he was reduced to ashes, how the nightmare turned into nothing. Feeling alive when all of his soldiers ran away at seeing him die. So it was true, it was all over, and Kriss knew it better than anyone, our murderer's blood covering her face, and her beautiful and delicate hands were the ones who pulled the trigger and killed him, she ended our torment ... but a torment to herself was what she created.

Love and Freedom, no one will ever get them both. If you love, you belong to someone and if you're free you will never have the courage to give your heart to someone. And I understood that I would never be free and that I had never been.

To be continued…

Dreamer.