We rode for two days and nights, only slowing when the horses needed to rest, and even then, we ran while they galloped behind. My silky dress was torn and muddy from the trek, for I had not changed clothing before departing the city, so angry was I. At least I had been wearing sturdy winter shoes that day, else slippers would have been fallen to pieces soon enough. The weather was unseasonally cold. A single covering was improvised, a saddle blanket from Thranduil's steed, which he had offered it to me after deciding to follow my lead and dispose of the bulky saddle. So I secured the blanket across my shoulders with a hairpin, and ignored the biting wind.
We did not speak unless it was necessarily, and I did not think of what lay ahead unless I needed to. I was reminded sharply of the journey that Thranduil and I had undertaken as youths; a desperate quest to rescue my cousin from evil torturers. It was on the journey I had begun to love him fully, but I did not see such a positive outcome on this trek. At night I prayed to the stars for Belegorn's safety, but in my heart I felt that it was futile.
At the base of the White Mountains, there was a stream running with melted snow from peaks that climbed into the sky. It tasted bitter and metallic, but it was all we had consumed for the past days and we drank our fill. The horses were stumbling, and after viewing the rocky paths, left them to recuperate and we began to hike. There was a series of hills that we navigated for the next several hours. I expected that we would eventually reach a summit where we would be able to see the desolate valley as it was described in my reading. We rushed through brambles and trees as best we could, but we moved slowly despite our efforts. Frustration mounted in me. I was nearly ready to start tearing down trees with my hands, or to at least attempt to, when the first noises began to reach our ears.
Thump, thump, thump. It sounded as if a mountain peak and grown legs and was trotting southwards towards where we were. But mountains did not move, and I fright coursed through me as the trees around us began to shake. There was no other creature in this world it could be but a dragon. Resonating, bellowing roars began to intermingle with the thumping, and I thought I imagined hearing Belegorn's voice join the fray. I turned to Thranduil, and upon seeing his face knew that I was not imagining anything. He heard it, too. We turned to the northeast, and we became more tangled in the blasted foliage.
At once the ground disappeared ahead of us, and we nearly toppled over as we stopped at the edge. The sloping sides of the mountain dropped into a sliver of a valley, and we were at the top of a crest where we could see the entire scene below. Somehow I was not surprised to discover that Belegorn had found his dragon, nor was I surprised to find him obviously losing against it.
Thranduil shouted, and the attention of the combatants was drawn to us. "We must slide," he turned to me quickly. "Or we will not get there in time."
The diversion of Belegorn's focus, and his subsequent confusion in seeing us clinched it. If only Thranduil had not shouted! The white dragon sneaked his head under Belegorn's defenses, a single oak shield decorated with stars, and with a quick snap, Belegorn was snatched into the beast's jaws. I thought my heart would beat from my chest, and my breathing ceased.
The dragon shook his head once, and then dropped Belegorn to the ground, where he lay unmoving. At once Thranduil and I began running down the hill, sliding on wet leaves and tumbling slightly towards the bottom. As we rushed into the valley, the dragon snorted at our appearance, skittering to the side. Was he to charge us? He was not - he blew a blast of icy air in our direction, and turned tail, slithering back north.
I ran to Belegorn's side. The sight of his eyes, open and staring into the cloudy sky, broke something within me. He could not be dead! I shook his shoulders, calling his name, but there was no response. "You stupid boy!" I shouted at his uncomprehending face, shaking him harder. "That you would dare - dare - that you would leave me - please do not leave me -" Unparallelled by anything I had felt before, a deep grief began to rise within me, and an unearthly howl broke forth from my lips. Belegorn - dead. Betrayed by his own pride, and I by my arrogance.
"I am going to kill it."
I had not noticed Thranduil kneeling beside me, but I turned and through my tears saw a deadly snarl across his face, and before I could stop him, he stood and began to follow the dragon's retreat. "No!" I cried. "You cannot - you have no weapon." But even as I spoke, he picked up Belegorn's spear from where it had fallen on the ground, splintered from the dragon's attack. I shouted once more for him to stay, but Thranduil's form disappeared quickly into a foggy mist that had descended from the mountains.
Belegorn's pale face again called my attention, and fresh pain swept through me. I placed a hand on his bruised cheek. "You should not have left," I whispered. My tears were splattering his armor in tiny plinks. "You never needed to prove anything to your father or I. We have loved you, even when we doubted us." I smoothed back his hair. "My handsome boy. You should not have - have left -" Seeing him was becoming a burden, and I closed my eyes. "Please -" My voice broke. "Do not leave me." My head bowed, and I rested my forehead on his, my sounds of my weeping echoing thinly in the desolate valley.
Thranduil returned some hours later, spear bloodied but no report for me. He dropped it on the ground, and lifted me to my feet, only letting me go once my knees ceased shaking. I had not moved from my son's side, and I was shivering in the biting wind.
"I called the horses," he said, his voice devoid of any feeling. "They are coming now."
By unspoken agreement, Belegorn's body was secured to my horse, and Thranduil and I rode together on his. The sound of the horses' hooves filled my mind with gratifying numbness, and my mind retreated to a place where the pain was deadened, for if any detail of the present was recalled, I began to shake with despair my own wails. Thranduil made not a noise, but kept an arm securely around my middle that I might not fall.
The city was quiet when we entered, the clomping of the horses' hooves echoing in the cavernous halls. Staring eyes fell upon us, and diverted when we saw the burden we brought. A single pair of running footsteps broke the dead silence, and a groom appeared, placing his hand on the muzzle of Thranduil's horse. "I will take the horses," he said.
"Very good," Thranduil said, his voice not wavering at all. "Help the queen, first." I swung my leg over the side, and the groom caught me as my balance gave out, and the ground rushed toward me. I fell to my knees in a clumsy heap.
"Oh, I am sorry," I told the groom. "Take the horses - I am fine." It was a blatant lie, but I felt that a stranger should not witness or be obliged to assist me in my incapacity.
Another pair of footsteps was rushing towards us, and I heard a shout. "Mother!"
Oh no. I could not bear to see Legolas - what would I say? A fresh wave of terrifying grief welled in me, and I drew my knees to my chest to hide my tears even as my son's strong hands tried to lift me from the ground.
"What happened? Father - what -" His words were cut off by a choking gasp.
"Take your mother to her rooms," Thranduil said. "I will come later."
"Come - come with me, Mother." Legolas's voice was breaking, but he helped me to my feet before swinging me into his arms. I buried my face into his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck. I was not an easy weight, but his steps did not falter, and within a few minutes, he was placing me carefully in my bed. "I will go find Father," he said quietly. "And I will send someone to fetch you repast."
"I am not hungry."
"You must eat, Mother."
"I cannot. I will not."
He sighed. "I will be back soon." I heard the door thud shut as he left, and I welcomed the solitude, but quickly filled the silence with my wretched crying.
Well, there you go.