THE LONELY LIFE SONG
After another few rounds of 21 questions, Brittany suddenly realised she had to go home. There were friends coming over or something. Santana had suggested to drive her home, but she insisted on taking the subway again.
''But, why would you want to do that? I mean, it's gross..'' Santana had said, recalling the horrifying memory of sitting next to a chair covered in puke one time.
''Sometimes good things can happen in the subway..'' Brittany had said, before winking at Santana and walking out of her house, holding the cat box in one hand, and the giraffe onesie in the other.
This was one hour and a half earlier, and now Santana is sat on the couch in sweatpants, watching Spongebob.
She's going to meet Quinn tomorrow, she should be looking for an outfit, she should be worrying if Quinn would even show up, she should be worrying about people who were going to interrupt them on their reunion by asking for pictures. She should be stressed out.
But she's not.
She's stil in a Brittany-haze. Everything just coloured pink around that girl.
Santana smiled at the memory of them letting out Lord Tubbington, on a damn cat leash. With Brittany she could just, forget about life for a while. Be a little girl again. Be giggly, and flirty, and childish. She could probably be anything and Brittany would still give her all the love she had.
This is so not me, Santana thinks.
''DON'T WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT!''
Santana's phone rings and she reaches out to grab it. It's Kurt again. She quickly picks up.
''Hello?''
''Santana, have you finished your new songs yet?''
Ahw shit. I totally forgot, she thinks to herself. She smiles a bit when she realised she just didn't have time because she was with brittany.
''Uuuuhh...noo..?''
''Santana! We have to publish your album in like a couple months! Come to the studio tomorrow around noon, we'll finish them together. ''
Tomorrow around noon?
''Kurt wait!'' Santana says quickly, but he had already hung up the phone.
''That means I have to cancel Quinn for tomorrow. ..'' Santana says softly, and she sighs deep, before dialing Quinn's number to cancel.
That night, Santana is laying on the couch, with the rest of her bottle of whiskey in her lap.
Soft music is playing in the background, and the lights are dimmed.
''I am soo screeeeweeed..'' Santana sings slowly
''My life is a meeeesss.. I barely have friiieendss...Do you like that song Kurt? Do you?''
''Ugh, what am I even doing here anymore. Talking to myself like some freak, can't even meet my best friend for a coffee, lonely every night. So lonely I fucking made friends with a random girl on the train!'' She mumbles out, clearly drunk.
Santana sighs ''And when I think about it, that girl, at this very moment, is probably the best thing in my life..And I know her for like .. a day.. maybe two...very..How pathetic is that? Huh? How pathetic am I...''
She throws the now empty bottle on the ground and it cracks.
''Imma.. gunna callher...I have to...'' Santana mumbles, looking for her phone.
When she doesn't find it right away, she lays back down on the couch. ''Ohw fuck it. I didn't have anything to say..anyway..no I'm just gonna..hmm.'' She rests her head on the pillow and throws a blanket over her cold feet.
''I aam soo screeeeweeed...''
The next day Santana was sitting at the studio. She rests her head in her hands and sighs. She really shouldn't have drunk so much last night. This frickin hangover wasn't exactly helping her in her writing proces. The head ache is killing her, and she has zero inspiration.
Kurt had been sitting with her for a couple hours, but he walked out to get a coffee. Like, 30 minutes ago.
Santana doesn't blame him, she knows she's really hard to handle sometimes, especially when she's hungover.
She doesn't know why, but since the exact moment Brittany left her house, she took the happiness with her. Maybe it was because Santana only now really realises how sad she had been feeling until Brittany came along.
Santana stands up and walks over to the door, just as Kurt walks in and passes her. He stops and looks at her. "Where are you going?"
"Away."
"Santana, you can't .." He says, but she was already gone.
Kurt decides to not run after her. He's known Santana for a long time now, and he knows she doesn't like to talk about her feelings. Mostly she just wants to be alone, so he sits down again and attempts to finish the song.
Santana shivers. Its cold outside, she regrets leaving without her jacket.
It's getting a bit darker, she had been in the studio an entire day. She counts her footsteps as she walks down the street.
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She stops at a red light and decides to go to the park.
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What am I even doing with my life.. Santana thinks.
Everything is a mess, I don't think I even like myself anymore.. I had everything I wanted, the teenage dream.. "but you're not in high school anymore, Santana." She says to herself.
I just don't know what to do ...
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She feels a tear fall down on her cheek and wipes it away quickly.
No. She's not gonna cry.
She's not gonna..
Tears come streaming down her face.
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She walks into the park and sits down on a bench by the lake. She pulls up her legs so her head is resting on her knees and wraps her arms around her legs.
She sits like this for a while.
"Santana? ..You okay?"
She looks up and softly shakes her head
"...I don't think I am..."
Heheheh who would it beee? :P sorry for a kind off depressing chapter but I was in the mood so ..
Thoughts?