For the next few days, Hermione finds herself alone a great deal of the time. Now that Lily's week as her guide is over and Hermione's passed the exams and caught up in her work, Lily's Prefect duties have been reinstated in full and her friends she's been neglecting in favor of helping Hermione studying are requesting her attention.
She barely sees James anywhere, except in class where he sits far away from her and in the common room at night. He doesn't corner her in the hallway and they don't even accidentally bump into each other, a fact which Hermione tries not to dwell on, but does anyway. James is using the Marauder Map to stay clear of her.
Hermione tries to be glad of this fact. Now she can begin her research on time-travel more seriously. Still, being at the library without Lily feels strangely uncomfortable. Hermione tells herself to get used to it. She won't have Lily when she returns home, and Harry and Ron have made their lack of enthusiasm quite clear when it comes to hitting the books.
Hermione begins every study session by picking up where she left off in the time-travel books before switching over to actual schoolwork later. Lily always ends up joining her after her duties are over or after she's done hanging out with friends. Hermione knows she could explain her interest in time-travelling as purely recreational – a hobby of sorts – but she doesn't dare. She doesn't dare say anything that could influence Lily's judgment later on in her life.
It feels a lot like sentencing Lily to death. Even though Hermione knows it's not her fault, it still feels like she's the one sending Lily off to die. On so many occasions Hermione wants to grab Lily, stare deep into her eyes and say, "Never trust Pettigrew," or "Sirius would never betray you and James," or "Please give James a chance."
But she doesn't, even if the words would save Lily's life temporarily they may not in the long run, and it may cost the lives of thousands of other innocents. She doesn't have the key to defeating Voldemort, and even if she did speaking up could just as well cause Voldemort's early and complete demise as it could backfire and lead to his ultimate and unchallenged victory.
The past is volatile, and even though something may seem like a certainty in the future that doesn't mean that it would be if tried in the past instead.
So Hermione holds her tongue. She holds herself in check when Peter speaks to her, forcing herself to be relatively polite and not punch him or hex him, however much she wants to.
And Hermione tries not to despair as book after book reveals no answer to her on how to get back home. Has there been no documented case of someone travelling back too far? Of a time-turner that malfunctioned? The answer, apparently, is no. Hermione learns nothing in her research, nothing that she didn't already know.
A few mornings after the failed non-date at Hogsmeade, James sits across from Hermione and beside Lily at breakfast, Sirius, Remus and Peter in tow.
Hermione is surprised, as James hasn't talked to her, much less looked her way, since Hogsmeade, but Lily just looks annoyed.
"What are you guys doing?"
"Grabbing some breakfast, Evans. Why, what do you do at breakfast time here?" James replies immediately, winking at Hermione as he starts piling his plate up with food.
Remus takes a seat by Hermione and Sirius sits next to him, with Peter across the table by James.
It's the second time they've all sat together like this, the first time being Hermione's second night at the school when she stood up and made a fool of herself, but there's something she's noticed about how the boys sit, regardless of where: Sirius and Remus always sit side by side, across from Peter and James.
Lily just clicks her tongue against the back of her teeth in annoyance and looks away from James.
"Just ignore them, Gabi. Have you heard back from your parents about your textbooks and school material?"
Hermione told Lily she'd sent her parents a letter using one of the school owls. In reality, if she had contacted her parents, she's sure a letter from their currently unborn daughter would traumatize them and possibly scare them into never having kids, altering the future into one where she doesn't even exist. Hermione wonders what would happen to her, in the past, if that happened. Would she just drop dead? Fade away and experience her own unbeing? Hopefully she won't have to find out the answer to that.
"Um, no. They're still vacationing. I think they're in Peru right now."
"Why don't you just use the Doubling Charm?" Sirius says.
"Well, you know if you explain the situation to Madam Pince I'm sure she'll extend the loan," Lily says, blatantly ignoring Sirius. "You've shown yourself more than trustworthy with her books. I'm positive she likes you a bit more now."
"The Charm is a great idea, Sirius. Why don't you give it a shot, Granger?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Lily snaps, unable to keep ignoring the pair. "The Doubling Charm is a highly-sensitive spell. If anything goes wrong, Gabrielle could irreversibly damage the school books."
"Don't be ridiculous, Evans," James snaps right back. "I'm sure someone who got an O in Charms can easily pull off a Doubling Charm. Besides," James turns to Hermione, his voice dropping the irritated edge, "you're more than welcome to charm my books, Granger."
"Are you for real?"
Hermione smiles. She knows Lily is just looking out for her but the Doubling Charm is a brilliant idea. She can't believe she hasn't thought of it herself. Besides, she's pulled off harder spells than that one.
"That's a great idea, Potter. Can we cast the spell this evening in the common room? It'd be a great relief to not have to worry about Madam Pince's precious books."
They fall into a companionable silence after that. Or at least, it's a companionable to Hermione. She can't say that Lily looks as comfortable in the boys' presence. Hermione finds herself wondering what's happened in the past that has made Lily so affronted to James and Sirius. She's polite and even nice to Remus, but as soon as Sirius or James appears she raises her hackles. Something bad must have happened between them to make her react like that.
Hermione's only consolation is that at least she did not provoke this animosity between James and Lily. It's obviously a long-standing one, maybe even dating back to their first year. It reminds Hermione of how Harry and Draco Malfoy's rivalry began, with a refusal to shake hands. She know James and Lily somehow manage to overcome their differences and fall in love, but how will that happen now that Hermione's standing in their way?
"Have you started your paper for Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Hermione hears Remus ask her.
Glad for the distraction from her thoughts, Hermione nods vigorously. "Yes, actually, I find Boggarts quite fascinating. I've already studied them before, though not quite so in depth. The origin of the spell is really interesting, particularly." Hermione remembers of course who taught her about Boggarts first. And she remembers quite clearly the shape of Remus' own worst nightmare.
She can feel Sirius watching her while she and Remus compare ideas and notes. It's not a paper that will have much weight on their grade, so Hermione doesn't mind discussing the details of her research, although she knows Remus would never copy her ideas. Still, Sirius' fixed gaze unnerves her. Finally, she looks up. It's like Sirius is trying to stab her with his eyes. It hurts to see Sirius, friend and ally, looking at her this way. She knows that Sirius is not the person he is when she knows him, not yet, and that she is a stranger who has swooped in and started befriending his friends. She may have Remus' trust already, she reflects, but she has done nothing to gain Sirius'.
"What do you think, Black?" Hermione decides she needs to make more of an effort. Her plan to ignore the Marauders has obviously backfired and she needs to improvise. If she can't avoid them, then she'll befriend them. She just won't actively interfere with their actions and hopefully that won't alter the course of future events.
"I think you two are dreadfully dull," is Sirius' reply. "Talking about class before class. You truly are mad." And with that, he finally looks away, engaging James and Peter in an animated discussion about Quidditch. From the snippets Hermione catches of their conversation as she talks to Remus, James is starting his first year as Gryffindor's Captain and he's set the try-outs for the coming weekend.
After breakfast, they all have N.E.W.T Potions except for Peter, who slinks off to Muggle Studies. Remus and Sirius walk on ahead while Hermione finds herself between James and Lily's icy silence.
"If you meet me in the common room after dinner tonight, I'll bring down all my textbooks and you can place the Charm on them. I've read that the duplicated copies deteriorate after a time, but if that happens then you're more than welcome to charm my books again."
When James says 'charm my books' Hermione has the uncomfortable sensation that he's talking about something else entirely different. Still, she smiles, grateful for his generosity. If Hermione does botch the spell she could very well destroy his textbooks in the process. "Thank you. I promise I'll do my best not to ruin your books."
"Hey, if Madam Pince trusts you with her books, then I would be a fool not to."
Lily coughs loudly beside them. Hermione thinks she heard a low groan of disgust right before she masked the noise. Getting these two together may be harder than she thought.
Unlike Professor Snape, Professor Slughorn accepts students who received Es on their O.W.L.s into his N.E.W.T-level potions class. Still, despite that fact, and despite that there are students in the class from all four Houses, there are still only twenty students at the most.
Harry had told Hermione that their new professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts was named Slughorn, and Hermione assumes that this must be the same man. Despite being the Head of Slytherin, Professor Slughorn doesn't appear to outwardly favor his students in the same manner as Snape and Hermione finds herself thinking that she might actually enjoy his lessons when she gets back.
Their lesson for the day consists of brewing a standard cleaning potion. Nothing too difficult, Slughorn had assured them, to get back into the swing of things. Sixth year students only have one Potions class a week and Hermione is glad to hear that their first lesson consists mostly as a recap of the previous year. This is one of the few classes she hasn't had any work to catch up on in.
Hermione has never had a quieter Potions class. Other than Sirius, who tampers with the potion of the girl sitting beside him (he puts it in some mice droppings when she's not looking, causing her potion to turn yellow and make cracking noises, like fireworks going off in her cauldron), most students are diligently at work, focused on their recipe. Hermione could get used to this.
It's because it's so quiet that what happens next startles everyone so much. A sudden loud retching noise comes from the front of the classroom and Hermione looks up in time to see a fellow Gryffindor girl bend over and throw up into her cauldron.
The whole class is shocked, and the silence that ensues is conspicuous. The girl sitting beside the sick girl immediately leans over, a hand on her friend's back.
"Are you okay?" she whispers.
The girl shakes her head and throws up again.
This time, Hermione hears a few students groan quietly in disgust. Beside her, James and Sirius start snickering under their breaths.
"At least if she brewed her potion right, it'll clean itself out," Sirius mutters to James, who tries to stifle a laugh.
"Shut up," Hermione hisses at them.
"Miss Polluck, please accompany Miss Bailey to the infirmary before her cauldron overflows."
"Y-yes, Professor!" Polluck jumps off her stool and steers Bailey away from their table. They make it to the front door before Bailey retches again, this time all over the floor and her shoes.
She gasps. "I-I'm s-sorry," she cries. Hermione can hear the tears in her voice. Poor girl.
Slughorn conjures up a bucket and levitates it over to Bailey, who clutches it to her chest, head bent over it. Polluck steers her out of the room quickly, just in time to take Bailey out of earshot as the sixth year students explode into laughter.
Hermione stares at those laughing, anger building up inside of her. The poor girl won't hear the end of it for a long time, she knows. She still feels some people eyeing her and smirking when she crosses paths with them and what she did was nowhere near as embarrassing as this.
A vaguely-familiar face catches Hermione's eye on the Slytherin side of the room: a lanky boy with a hooked nose and limp, black hair. Severus Snape? Hermione's voice catches in her throat. He's not laughing outright like the others around him, but he's smirking, a look that Hermione knows only too well despite the fact that he's so much younger. He's proud of himself.
That evening, at dinner, two more girls throw up. They're from Ravenclaw and Hermione recognizes them as fifth year students she had classes with during the week before.
"Bugger, looks like there's some sickness going around," James says after the commotion has died down and the two girls have been escorted to the infirmary. He looks pointedly at Sirius. "Don't you dare catch it. I need you at the try-outs."
Sirius chuckles. "I'll try my best to keep myself from snogging the infected, then. Damn you, Potter."
"Would it kill you two to show some compassion?" Lily snaps. Hermione can tell she's been wanting to tell them off ever since Potions class.
"Of course not, but it sure would kill our fun."
"And you do know our fun is our sustenance, Evans, so maybe perhaps it would kill us, metaphorically," Sirius adds, not to be outdone by his best friend.
Lily glares at them as if unable to believe how callous they can be. "You two are unbelievable."
"It's true, we are."
As promised, after dinner, James gets his textbooks for Hermione to charm. Everyone stands back in the off-chance that Hermione messes up and the books explode – no one likes a paper cut after all – but thankfully Hermione casts the spell properly and a double of each book appears. It's a relief to know she finally has her own copies. She decides to bring the library books back to Madam Pince right away, who seems annoyed that it took so long for Hermione to return them more than grateful for the pristine condition which they're still in.
When Hermione returns to the common room, James and Peter are no longer there. Hermione only sees Sirius and Remus in their usual spot. She's about to go and join them when she takes a closer look. They're standing closely, obviously deep in conversation. They're speaking in low voices, and while Hermione can't hear them across the room with the other students talking normally around her, she can see that their discussion is not a pleasant one.
Sirius looks agitated, stabbing his finger into his palm as if to mark a point. Remus looks just as frustrated, though he doesn't seem to be as worked up.
Hermione is about to go find another place to sit and start on her homework when suddenly Sirius looks up and over, as if sensing he was being watched. Their eyes lock and Hermione quickly looks away, heart beating. She wasn't eavesdropping or planning on intruding on their conversation, but she feels as guilty as if she had been. Sirius was clearly not pleased to see her looking their way.
"Was Madam Pince pleased to have her books returned?" Remus' voice startles Hermione. He's left Sirius by the fireplace, who is now sitting on the couch with his back to them.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stop your conversation."
"We weren't talking about much. Actually, I was waiting for you to study."
"Sirius looks angry. Are you sure it's okay?"
Remus looks over his shoulder at Sirius. He sighs. "Don't mind Sirius. He's upset because James and he want to sneak out to go play midnight Quidditch."
Hermione laughs. These Marauders are everything she's ever heard about them, and more. "Midnight Quidditch, really?"
Remus gives her a small smile. It's these little smiles that make Hermione realize just how rarely Remus actually does smile, or laugh for that matter.
"They do it every year before the Quidditch try-outs. They did it the first year they both tried out for the team. They both made the team and they had a really good year, so now they're convinced it's a good luck charm or something."
Hermione knows she hasn't been invited to this midnight party but recklessly she leans forward and puts her hand on Remus' arm. "If it's a good luck ritual, you have no choice," she says, jokingly. "Let's do it!"
This is how Hermione finds herself, hours past curfew, standing on the Quidditch pitch watching James and Sirius pass the Quaffle back and forth.
Beside her, Lily is talking and laughing with Remus. Hermione still isn't quite sure how they got Lily to come along, only that perhaps she got swept up in the moment like Hermione did. They had waited in the common room, pretending to study, until everyone else had gone off to bed. They were going to cast Disillusionment spells on themselves before leaving the common room but Lily had walked in then, relieved from her Prefect duties.
"What's going on?" she'd asked, noticing how they were bundled up and obviously not about to head off to bed. "You guys better not be thinking about sneaking out!"
"Watch us," Sirius had snapped. He'd kept his bad mood all evening, refusing to look at Hermione or Remus.
"We're also kidnapping your new best friend." James had put an unauthorized arm around Hermione's shoulders. "I suppose you'll just have to come along to make sure she doesn't get into any trouble… Anymore trouble, that is."
Hermione had given Lily her most apologetic look as she'd let James lead her to the portrait, but then she'd heard Lily curse under her breath and cast the charm over herself to follow them out.
Now, here they are. Actually having fun. The brooms and a Quidditch set – Sirius' he'd brought with him to school – are already on the pitch, giving Hermione an idea of what James and Peter had been up to earlier that evening.
Peter is gushing at Sirius and James' talents on their brooms. He claps and calls out praise whenever they make a catch. Pathetic. Hermione moves away from him and closer to Remus and Lily.
"Aren't you going to join them?" Hermione asks Remus. To her knowledge, Remus didn't play on the Gryffindor team, but there is so much that Hermione doesn't know about all of them.
Remus laughs. "Me on a broom? Wouldn't that be a sight! I'll stay down here with my feet firmly on the ground, thanks."
Hermione grins, sympathizing completely with his attitude. If there is one thing Hermione Granger doesn't do, it's heights.
"Maybe Gabi could make a couple copies of that book for us?" Lily asks, teasingly. "I didn't even think about bringing something to entertain myself with."
"We're all together, what more entertainment do you need?!" Hermione exclaims. The fresh air feels so good. There's a soft breeze, and although it's mid-September it's not as cold as it was when she was at Hogsmeade with James at the beginning of the week. There's something calming about the night.
"Seems like Granger is good at more than just acing exams and casting difficult spells." The way Remus says this sounds like a great compliment instead of mocking. "I wouldn't be here either if it hadn't been fo-" Remus lets out a grunt and stumbles forward a few feet when the Quaffle suddenly comes down, hitting him in the side.
Hermione looks up at the boys in the air. James is laughing but Sirius looks much grimmer. "Sorry," he calls down to Remus, though in Hermione's opinion he doesn't sound the least bit sorry at all. "Bad aim."
Remus picks up the Quaffle and then looks up at Sirius. For a second, it looks like the two of them are having a silent argument.
"If you have such bad aim, maybe James should hold try-outs for your position," Remus jokes bitterly.
"Just toss the Quaffle back up, Lupin," Sirius snaps. Remus complies but Hermione shares a glance with Lily. The exchange didn't sound particularly friendly at all. Hermione wonders if the two had been arguing about more than just coming out tonight earlier that evening.
Hermione doesn't get to ask. She doesn't even get to ask if Remus is alright, because all of the sudden Hermione feels herself getting pulled backwards.
James has swooped down behind her, and with one strong tug of his arm he's pulled Hermione back onto the broom with him, sitting sidesaddle, and kicked off the ground again before Hermione can react.
Fright seizes Hermione immediately. Her throat clenches up and her brain freezes. For a few moments Hermione can't think of anything but of how high up they are. The pitch below them grows smaller and smaller and smaller… and that's when Hermione's mind kicks back and the reality hits her harder than a Bludger to the chest.
"JAMES POTTER, YOU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!" Hermione shrieks when she regains the ability to think and speak. She screws her eyes shut and tries not to think about how high up they are, how fast they're moving, how her feet are just dangling in the air, how only a scrawny tree branch is all that's beneath Hermione and a very painful, potentially fatal fall…
"Do you hear me?!" Hermione screams. "Land this broom right now or I swear to Merlin I will make you regret this for a very, very long time!"
Hermione feels the ground beneath her feet before she even realizes they've landed. She hadn't even felt James dive. Hermione heart is hammering and she's not sure her knees will support her full weight, but she jumps off of the broom as if it had stung her behind.
"How dare you-" Hermione begins, turning to unleash her fury on James when something catches her eye.
Sirius, Remus and Peter are standing in a half-circle around Lily. James landed them just a few feet away and Hermione can see the panic on Lily's face plainly.
"I think something's wrong. Come on."
Hermione hurries to Lily. "What's wrong? What happened?"
"I… I tried to cast the Impervius spell," Lily says. "But… I couldn't."
It's only then that Hermione realizes it's drizzling. In her terror she hadn't noticed. She wonders just how long she was in the air with James for. Her panic threw off her sense of time completely.
Hermione frowns. The umbrella spell is easy, one of the basics they learn in third year. Hermione walks ten paces away from Lily and puts her wand on the ground. "Try bringing my wand to you."
Lily takes a moment to calm herself and to focus on the spell she's about to perform. "Accio." She points her wand at Hermione's and speaks in a clear, controlled voice. It's the perfect spell-casting tone. The word is clearly enunciated and the intent is clear in her voice.
Regardless, Hermione's wand lifts only a few inches in the air, hovers, moves forward weakly, and then falls back to the ground.
A stunned silence falls over the group. Finally, Hermione picks up her wand and pockets it. "We need to go see Professor McGonagall." Lily is a good witch. Hermione's seen her perform many spells much harder than these when she was helping Hermione study. Something is obviously wrong.
"No, we can't do that." Sirius is the first to speak up. He looks from Lily to Hermione, and then to James. "It's hours past curfew, and well, we kind of have a reputation. If we turn ourselves in we could get in serious trouble."
Anger surges through Hermione. Suddenly, their troublemaking ways are not so endearing. "Lily's problems are more important than a few House Points, "she spits out, disgusted with Sirius.
"It's not about House Points." At least Sirius has the decency to look contrite. "Me and James could get kicked off the Quidditch team."
"So what?" Hermione wants to reply, but she checks herself just in time. She knows how much Quidditch means to students, especially those on the team. "Fine," she hisses in a vain attempt to control her temper. "I'll go with Lily myself."
"That's probably not such a great idea, Granger." This time, it's James who speaks up. "Lily's a Prefect. How are you going to explain that you convinced her to break the rules? It'll make you look bad and Lily incompetent as a Prefect."
Despite herself, Hermione knows his words make sense.
"They're right, Gabi," Lily speaks up for the first time, softly. Hermione can hear the fear in her voice. "Nothing good will come out of going to see a professor at this hour. Let's wait until morning."
"Maybe you'll feel better in the morning," Peter speaks up. "Maybe you're just tired."
Hermione knows from the way they all exchange looks that no one really believes that.
Once they've made their way back to their dorms, Hermione hugs Lily. She's never been one for allowing other people into her private space, especially not another girl, but it happens naturally. They sneak into their dorm room, and just when they're about to sneak into their respective beds Hermione steps forward and pulls Lily close to her. Lily hugs her back, tightly, like this is what she needed.
"Things will be better in the morning," Hermione whispers. "Professor McGonagall will know what to do."
Lily smiles and nods when she pulls away. "Yes, I'm sure she will."
And, both trying their hardest to believe this, they crawl into their beds.